YouTuber does 100 ask outs to overcome fear of rejection

[GoodMan32]

https://medium.com/hello-love/youtuber-asks-out-100-girls-to-overcome-fear-of-rejection-9081dc2f6443

Here's an interesting article that ties in with the topic of this forum.

Yeah, you have to pay to read the full article (they only allow you to read an excerpt for free). I refuse to pay. But you can get pretty much all the information you need if you read the comment section (some of the comments reveal crucial information, such as how many successes he had)

Another thing that was pointed out in the comment section (which is definitely worth discussing) is the fact feminism has played a major role in creating the incel crisis (double ironic is the fact the very website which hosted this article hosts a lot of feminist articles)

Anyway, here's how feminism has created the incel crisis (according to some of the comments on the article): Many a feminist will say stuff like "You're a total creep if you do cold approaches" and "If a woman is genuinely into you, she'll throw herself at you. There's no need to approach her. Any subtle clues you think you're picking up on are meaningless, as an interested woman will make herself extremely obvious"

What do you think will end up happening when men read/hear that stuff from feminists? Obviously many a man will end up believing it (Therefore he'll abstain from approaching broads. And when broads never/extremely rarely approach him, which will be the case for most men, he'll end up thinking no woman is into him. Voila, he's become an incel...all because he listened to feminists)

Here's the YouTube vid:

 

[BackInTheGame78]

People who call women broads aren't getting women to begin with due to the way they think about women and relationships in general.

Get a clue.

Incels are incels because they don't want to work on themselves and want things to just fall into their lap without any effort and without bettering themselves in any way.

They take entitlement to a new level.

People choose what they want to be in life. Own your decision and stop blaming everyone and everything else.

 

[GoodMan32]

People who call women broads aren't getting women to begin with due to the way they think about women and relationships in general.

Get a clue.

Incels are incels because they don't want to work on themselves and want things to just fall into their lap without any effort and without bettering themselves in any way.

They take entitlement to a new level.

People choose what they want to be in life. Own your decision and stop blaming everyone and everything else.

Even though I learned the term broad in high school (circa 2007), I never commonly used the word until 2023 or so. My bad luck with the ladies goes back well before 2023.

I hate the way the word "women" sounds (which is nothing against the female gender; all I'm saying is I don't like the phonetic qualities of the word "women"). I like the way the word "broads" sounds. Simple as that. That's why I started saying "broads"

As for incels expecting everything to fall into their lap, don't you think feminists (who tell men "Never approach a woman. A woman who's genuinely into you will throw herself at you") are at least part of the reason some incels developed the "let it fall into my lap" mentality? (We aren't only talking about me, who isn't even technically an incel. We're talking about incels/borderline incels in general)

Think about it: Feminists galore write articles where they flat out tell men "let it fall into your lap" (yet then they have the nerve to call a man entitled if he expects it to fall into his lap)

Incels weren't as much of a thing 25 years ago.

You know what else wasn't as much of a thing 25 years ago (not a thing at all 25 years ago for that matter, to the best of my knowledge)? Feminists telling men it's harassment if we approach a woman.

Many blame technology for the incel crisis. And I certainly think technology has played a role. After reading the comment section of that article, however, I've come to see that feminism has played a role too.

Even if you don't blame feminism for the incel crisis, surely you (at the very least) must think it's stupid when feminists tell men to never approach a woman, right?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Even though I learned the term broad in high school (circa 2007), I never commonly used the word until 2023 or so. My bad luck with the ladies goes back well before 2023.

I hate the way the word "women" sounds (which is nothing against the female gender; all I'm saying is I don't like the phonetic qualities of the word "women"). I like the way the word "broads" sounds. Simple as that. That's why I started saying "broads"

As for incels expecting everything to fall into their lap, don't you think feminists (who tell men "Never approach a woman. A woman who's genuinely into you will throw herself at you") are at least part of the reason some incels developed the "let it fall into my lap" mentality? (We aren't only talking about me, who isn't even technically an incel. We're talking about incels/borderline incels in general)

Think about it: Feminists galore write articles where they flat out tell men "let it fall into your lap" (yet then they have the nerve to call a man entitled if he expects it to fall into his lap)

Incels weren't as much of a thing 25 years ago.

You know what else wasn't as much of a thing 25 years ago (not a thing at all 25 years ago for that matter, to the best of my knowledge)? Feminists telling men it's harassment if we approach a woman.

Many blame technology for the incel crisis. And I certainly think technology has played a role. After reading the comment section of that article, however, I've come to see that feminism has played a role too.

Even if you don't blame feminism for the incel crisis, surely you (at the very least) must think it's stupid when feminists tell men to never approach a woman, right?

Whatever you say dude. The first mistake is ever listening to what women say instead of what they do.

Maybe you should go post this on an incel forum.

This forum's purpose is to help men become better with women.

Not listen to people crying and whining about their lot in life that they have chosen and trying to blame everyone and everything else while taking no responsibility for themselves.

Clearly you are not here to learn or get better, only complain, whine and cry.

Please go do it elsewhere.

 

[SW15]

The first mistake is ever listening to what women say instead of what they do.

That is a mistake in general. Very little can be usefully applied based on what women say.

how many successes he had

I didn't watch the whole video but I saw he had 16's yes. 16 out of 100 is not bad at all. He's a reasonably good looking guy too.

The video lacks context too. What were his approaches like? If he just asked women out on dates with no extended conversation, then his rejection rate would be high. While he's reasonably good looking, he's not Chad tier and his personality is likely subpar.

We have no idea how many of those 16 yes responses actually made it out on a date with him either.

The guy got IHAB'ed (I Have a Boyfriend) way too much. I actually thought the IHAB was dead until I saw this video below of a guy doing daygame in Dallas in 2021. The guy in this 2024 video got IHAB'ed too. If a man has any social calibration, he can avoid getting IHAB'ed. It has been a long time since I got IHAB'ed. In conversations in approaches, women have mentioned a boyfriend but that's not a true IHAB because I had not asked her out.

 

[zekko]

What do you think will end up happening when men read/hear that stuff from feminists? Obviously many a man will end up believing it (Therefore he'll abstain from approaching broads. And when broads never/extremely rarely approach him, which will be the case for most men, he'll end up thinking no woman is into him. Voila, he's become an incel...all because he listened to feminists)

And that doesn't even include the feminists who have threatened to boycott sex because they weren't happy with the election results. Honestly, aside from being aware of what could get you fired or thrown in prison, feminists are better left ignored. I'd also say that behaviors that women might think are obvious (as far as throwing themselves at a guy), might still be too subtle for a male.

And as I also like to say, if you do a cold approach correctly, no one is even aware a cold approach has taken place (except for the more direct methods, of course).

 

[SW15]

And that doesn't even include the feminists who have threatened to boycott sex because they weren't happy with the election results.

The 4B movement is going to get some internet hype for a bit but few women will adhere to it.

And as I also like to say, if you do a cold approach correctly, no one is even aware a cold approach has taken place (except for the more direct methods, of course).

I like this saying. I have experienced this as an experienced approacher.

 

[zekko]

The 4B movement is going to get some internet hype for a bit but few women will adhere to it.

But some of those feminist haircuts are so attractive... We're really going to miss them...

 

[corrector]

The first mistake is ever listening to what women say instead of what they do.

That is a very tone deaf statement that ignores the fact about the real risks to social and career reputation guys face if they make the wrong approach to the wrong woman. You could lose your job since your approach could be a harassement/sexual harassment complaint. You could be shamed in Tic Tok for just helping a girl at the gym, or doing a cold approach. If there is a complaint, then that could ruin your reputation.

It's almost like there is a gun pointed to a guy's head not to approach a woman. Coupled with the fact that if you are already incel, and also shy making approach (ie you would likely get rejected and have whatever fantasy bubble of the lady popped), why risk further harm on top of that.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That is a very tone deaf statement that ignores the fact about the real risks to social and career reputation guys face if they make the wrong approach to the wrong woman. You could lose your job since your approach could be a harassement/sexual harassment complaint. You could be shamed in Tic Tok for just helping a girl at the gym, or doing a cold approach. If there is a complaint, then that could ruin your reputation.

It's almost like there is a gun pointed to a guy's head not to approach a woman. Coupled with the fact that if you are already incel, and also shy making approach (ie you would likely get rejected and have whatever fantasy bubble of the lady popped), why risk further harm on top of that.

No it's called if you act like a normal person and have a normal conversation women won't think you are a weirdo and you don't have to worry about that.

The reason why these people have this issue is because they lack social skills and act strange and are viewed as weird as creepy.

Which they are based on the way they act around women usually.

I mean get real...nobody is losing their job by going and talking to a woman who you don't work with unless they are sexually assaulting them in public.

If you act weird and creepy then guess what? You will be seen as weird and creepy. No surprise there.

Some guy with no social skills that thinks they are just going to walk up to a HB 9 and use some crap they learned online and become a woman killer are delusional.

They need to work their way up the ladder and start practicing on normal women they aren't attracted to and have a normal conversation. That's the goal. Learn how to not be socially inept. Nothing positive will happen until they graduate from that step first, and then they can start moving up in quality of women to approach.

 

[GoodMan32]

Whatever you say dude. The first mistake is ever listening to what women say instead of what they do.

Maybe you should go post this on an incel forum.

This forum's purpose is to help men become better with women.

Not listen to people crying and whining about their lot in life that they have chosen and trying to blame everyone and everything else while taking no responsibility for themselves.

Clearly you are not here to learn or get better, only complain, whine and cry.

Please go do it elsewhere.

This thread is about certain cultural phenomena that might have led to the current status quo (where there are a lot of struggling men in 2024)

On a forum about helping men become better with the ladies, a discussion about what led a lot of men to become failures (and how to overcome it) is relevant.

As an analogy, in order for an alcoholic at an AA meeting to overcome his alcoholism, they'd first need to discuss/solve whatever made him become an alcoholic.

 

[GoodMan32]

That is a mistake in general. Very little can be usefully applied based on what women say.



I didn't watch the whole video but I saw he had 16's yes. 16 out of 100 is not bad at all. He's a reasonably good looking guy too.

The video lacks context too. What were his approaches like? If he just asked women out on dates with no extended conversation, then his rejection rate would be high. While he's reasonably good looking, he's not Chad tier and his personality is likely subpar.

We have no idea how many of those 16 yes responses actually made it out on a date with him either.

The guy got IHAB'ed (I Have a Boyfriend) way too much. I actually thought the IHAB was dead until I saw this video below of a guy doing daygame in Dallas in 2021. The guy in this 2024 video got IHAB'ed too. If a man has any social calibration, he can avoid getting IHAB'ed. It has been a long time since I got IHAB'ed. In conversations in approaches, women have mentioned a boyfriend but that's not a true IHAB because I had not asked her out.

I haven't watched the vid at all yet (I definitely have to at some point). I agree; he has good looks (but not Chad tier)

The purpose behind his social experiment (overcoming a phobia of rejection) would suggest you're right about your suspicion he has a subpar personality (if a guy has a phobia of rejection, chances are his personality is lacking)

It would be interesting to find out how many of the successes followed through with their promise indeed. For that matter, since he was only doing the vid as a social experiment, I wouldn't be shocked if he never showed up to any dates.

Lastly, to address the IHAB thing, it's a statistical fact a lot of broads have boyfriends (and even though some are willing to cheat, many won't cheat)

 

[GoodMan32]

And that doesn't even include the feminists who have threatened to boycott sex because they weren't happy with the election results. Honestly, aside from being aware of what could get you fired or thrown in prison, feminists are better left ignored. I'd also say that behaviors that women might think are obvious (as far as throwing themselves at a guy), might still be too subtle for a male.

And as I also like to say, if you do a cold approach correctly, no one is even aware a cold approach has taken place (except for the more direct methods, of course).

You're damn right when you say behaviors a woman thinks are obvious might be too subtle for men to pick up on.

I remember reading a comment on Quora once that said something along the lines of "There are many cases where a woman thinks she's being obvious, the man thinks she's only being nice, so then he never makes a move on her (even though he is into her). Therefore, they never end up becoming an item. This predicament could be fixed if the woman would simply make the official move in the first place...or at the very least, no matter how obvious she thinks her clues are, she should make herself more obvious"

^ The Quora comment made a good point. Since the current approach broads use (dropping clues she thinks are obvious, yet are too subtle for the man to pick up on) leads to frustration galore (for both parties), perhaps change is needed.

To address your point about how there are instances where, if done correctly, the woman doesn't even know a cold approach has taken place: You're 100% correct. Even my autist self has managed to do what you're describing (I've mentioned on this forum before about how I prodded my sexy next door neighbor into divulging her preferences in a man without coming out and asking)

 

[GoodMan32]

That is a very tone deaf statement that ignores the fact about the real risks to social and career reputation guys face if they make the wrong approach to the wrong woman. You could lose your job since your approach could be a harassement/sexual harassment complaint. You could be shamed in Tic Tok for just helping a girl at the gym, or doing a cold approach. If there is a complaint, then that could ruin your reputation.

It's almost like there is a gun pointed to a guy's head not to approach a woman. Coupled with the fact that if you are already incel, and also shy making approach (ie you would likely get rejected and have whatever fantasy bubble of the lady popped), why risk further harm on top of that.

I've mentioned on this forum before that I was terrified a female coworker would rat me out to HR for merely giving her my digits.

 

[GoodMan32]

No it's called if you act like a normal person and have a normal conversation women won't think you are a weirdo and you don't have to worry about that.

The reason why these people have this issue is because they lack social skills and act strange and are viewed as weird as creepy.

Which they are based on the way they act around women usually.

I mean get real...nobody is losing their job by going and talking to a woman who you don't work with unless they are sexually assaulting them in public.

If you act weird and creepy then guess what? You will be seen as weird and creepy. No surprise there.

Some guy with no social skills that thinks they are just going to walk up to a HB 9 and use some crap they learned online and become a woman killer are delusional.

They need to work their way up the ladder and start practicing on normal women they aren't attracted to and have a normal conversation. That's the goal. Learn how to not be socially inept. Nothing positive will happen until they graduate from that step first, and then they can start moving up in quality of women to approach.

Since this isn't an ASD forum, I won't get tremendously deep into an ASD discussion. I will say, however, it's been mentioned on multiple ASD forums I've been on that men with ASD are prone to coming across as creepy without trying (and without even realizing we're acting "creepy")

The advice of "just don't be creepy" can only go so far when the man isn't aware he's acting creepy.

That being said, the occasional miracle can happen for a "creepy"/socially inept man. The last woman I had free sex with, while not quite an HB 9, is an 8.78 (pretty impressive I managed to bed her)

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This thread is about certain cultural phenomena that might have led to the current status quo (where there are a lot of struggling men in 2024)

On a forum about helping men become better with the ladies, a discussion about what led a lot of men to become failures (and how to overcome it) is relevant.

As an analogy, in order for an alcoholic at an AA meeting to overcome his alcoholism, they'd first need to discuss/solve whatever made him become an alcoholic.

You aren't looking to get better, that's the problem. All you are here to do is make excuses and complain that women aren't going to approach you and how it isn't fair.

To your AA analogy, you are in denial about the situation and saying that you don't have a problem. It's everyone else that's the problem.

We are not here for that. We are here to help people who admit they have a problem and want help fixing it.

Not those who deny they have a problem and blame the world, women and anything else they can think of instead of holding themselves accountable like a grown fvcking man does.

 

[GoodMan32]

You aren't looking to get better, that's the problem. All you are here to do is make excuses and complain that women aren't going to approach you and how it isn't fair.

To your AA analogy, you are in denial about the situation and saying that you don't have a problem. It's everyone else that's the problem.

We are not here for that. We are here to help people who admit they have a problem and want help fixing it.

Not those who deny they have a problem and blame the world, women and anything else they can think of instead of holding themselves accountable like a grown fvcking man does.

I admit I have a problem when it comes to approaching a woman.

I've even taken remedies to fix it, seeing as I've attended 2 speed dating events lately.

 

[SW15]

the IHAB thing, it's a statistical fact a lot of broads have boyfriends (and even though some are willing to cheat, many won't cheat)

Smart, socially aware men can avoid being IHAB'ed for the most part. I have decreased my IHABs to near nothing over the last 15 years or so.

The first thing to do is to avoid parts of the city with a lot of married people. That will eliminate the husbands excuse. If a man hunts in the wrong neighborhoods in an area, he might encounter too many married women. That's a pain.

When a man hunts in an area with unmarried people (this includes college students hunting on college campuses), there are still going to be women with boyfriends who aren't open to new penis. That's annoying. These interactions are best avoided.

Examine body language for receptivity to approaches. Most women in relationships aren't receptive to approaches. They will tend to shut down interactions within 30 seconds before a date offer can be made. A lot of time, women do the work for you.

Most women who will talk for around 3-5 minutes typically are open to new penis. If you can pass the 5 minute threshold on her, then you can ask her on a date. If you get to 30 minutes in a nightlife venue, it's possible to move for same night sex.

In a longer interaction, sometimes a woman will casually drop in a boyfriend mention before you've asked her out. You could use a boyfriend destroyer line here but I'd rather use a destroyer line at the time of ask out. It's important to try to determine if this is a fake boyfriend or a boyfriend she's unhappy with. You can push through these things if you want. Some of it depends on the context. If I hear that a woman has a boyfriend in a casual conversation at an alumni event (somewhat social circle and not pure stranger approach), I probably won't use destroyer line as compared to randomly at a bar or grocery store. It's best to avoid these situations and avoid having to use destroyer lines.

I admit I have a problem when it comes to approaching a woman.

I've even taken remedies to fix it, seeing as I've attended 2 speed dating events lately.

Going to speed dating events is not a fix for stranger approaching. It's a highly structured environment. Approaching in a random bar or grocery store is unstructured. It is way easier to start an approach at speed dating or at a singles event than at a bar, mall, bookstore, or grocery store.

 

[GoodMan32]

Smart, socially aware men can avoid being IHAB'ed for the most part. I have decreased my IHABs to near nothing over the last 15 years or so.

The first thing to do is to avoid parts of the city with a lot of married people. That will eliminate the husbands excuse. If a man hunts in the wrong neighborhoods in an area, he might encounter too many married women. That's a pain.

When a man hunts in an area with unmarried people (this includes college students hunting on college campuses), there are still going to be women with boyfriends who aren't open to new penis. That's annoying. These interactions are best avoided.

Examine body language for receptivity to approaches. Most women in relationships aren't receptive to approaches. They will tend to shut down interactions within 30 seconds before a date offer can be made. A lot of time, women do the work for you.

Most women who will talk for around 3-5 minutes typically are open to new penis. If you can pass the 5 minute threshold on her, then you can ask her on a date. If you get to 30 minutes in a nightlife venue, it's possible to move for same night sex.

In a longer interaction, sometimes a woman will casually drop in a boyfriend mention before you've asked her out. You could use a boyfriend destroyer line here but I'd rather use a destroyer line at the time of ask out. It's important to try to determine if this is a fake boyfriend or a boyfriend she's unhappy with. You can push through these things if you want. Some of it depends on the context. If I hear that a woman has a boyfriend in a casual conversation at an alumni event (somewhat social circle and not pure stranger approach), I probably won't use destroyer line as compared to randomly at a bar or grocery store. It's best to avoid these situations and avoid having to use destroyer lines.



Going to speed dating events is not a fix for stranger approaching. It's a highly structured environment. Approaching in a random bar or grocery store is unstructured. It is way easier to start an approach at speed dating or at a singles event than at a bar, mall, bookstore, or grocery store.

Good information about seeing how long she's willing to chat with you (as a gauge of whether she's taken)

As for speed dating, you're right when you say it's a structured environment.

Even if speed dating isn't an exact replica of cold approaching, it's still good practice for a guy like me (who's barely mingled with broads, other than platonically, at all for years now)

 

[GoodMan32]

Ok, so I watched the full vid. Here's my review.

There are a number of reasons this specific social experiment could have gone a lot differently if some of the variables were changed.

The social experiment obviously takes place somewhere in Europe (Pretty sure either Italy or France). Had he done the experiment in the USA, he might have gotten more successes solely because his accent would be viewed as exotic/sexy.

Additionally, his experience doesn't necessarily give us an idea of how American men would fare if we were to do this experiment right here in our home country.

Some other factors that could have skewed his results were the fact he was clearly filming. Some broads who might have otherwise said no might have felt pressured to say yeah simply because they were afraid of looking rude on camera. On the flipside, some who might have otherwise said yeah might have said no simply because they didn't like the attention of being on camera.

There was one rejection where the woman hesitated before saying she's taken (that one was an obvious lie)

The fact he got more and more successes as the experiment went on would suggest there's merit to the idea that the more you approach, the better you get (therefore the more likely you are to get a success)

I think I recall @SW15 (who admittedly only watched part of the vid) said he'd be curious as to what exactly the YouTuber did as far as conversation with her. After watching the whole vid, it appeared he largely just blurted out "Would you like to go on a date with me?" (with no lead-up)

Lastly, all in all, I'd say his 16% success rate is impressive.