yeah repetition is the mother of skill hahaBut first you need to know how to read the signs and it looks like OP don't
yeah repetition is the mother of skill hahaBut first you need to know how to read the signs and it looks like OP don't
You have already made it clear to her that you want to date her.So what would be a better approach here? There's no denying there's chemistry there.
You took action. That puts you ahead of 95% of the rest of the forum already. You should be giving advice, not receiving it.Hi guys,
Good to be on board, thanks for having me. I’ve been following some online coaching YouTube channels for some time and have learned quite a lot, but still struggling a bit with women, the question below is for a specific one. This girl is a new coworker of mine, and we see each other daily, and when we don’t, we’ll shoot a few DMs over IG - she found me there and regularly follows my posts and reacts to my stories. We’re in different departments and we don’t report to each other or are each other supervisors, so no problem there, even the work policies are OK with it. There’s been a spark since we’ve met, she also knew when my birthday was (I told her once), so her and another coworker surprised me with some goodies; when her birthday came, I surprised her back with a nice gesture, she said that it totally made her birthday and told everyone about it.
Apart from hanging out after work with other coworkers on two occasions, I asked her out for a drink or something two times, and she couldn’t make it once because she was slammed with work (didn’t offer alternative then), and second time she was sick (for a fact, I saw that the next day), and this time she mentioned that we could get together this week, but she didn’t offer a specific day, so I just told her to let me know if she wants to get together and left it at that. She also mentioned that we should ask the other coworker to hang out as well, so that’s the confusing / weird part. Why would she want to have another female coworker there? Other than that, the signs of attractions are very much there, we broke the touch barrier, she always giggles, etc.
What’s your take on this? My current approach is not to initiate contact, but always reply and act as if nothing changed in person, still being charming and flirty, but not pursuing and definitely not asking her out again until she mentions it first.
It’s really that simple.You have already made it clear to her that you want to date her.
Women help and make it easy for the men they want.
That means in my experience the best approach here is to stop trying to make anything happen, not because that will "work" and "make her" interested in you through playing a game, but because it is playing NO game with her and saving your time and energy. She has so far not reciprocated the interest you've shown her and so it's entirely in her ballpark now to make an effort and do it. But, from your account of it and as I said before, I suspect the reason she has not done so in the first place is that all she ever wanted from you was validation and maybe some entertainment. You have to understand that validation is like oxygen to women or like water for a fish, they need a sizeable and steady amount of it to survive.
Well, the signs so far have been:But first you need to know how to read the signs and it looks like OP don't
Makes sense. I'm not too crazy about this girl, as the initial crush faded, so it'll be easy to let it go. And then we'll see what's really going on, I guess.It’s really that simple.
If she was interested, she wouldn’t have turned him down TWICE.
And no, she didn’t turn him down because he projected weakness as some here would like to think (by asking instead of telling her). She simply ain’t physically attracted to him.
No worries - I've been single for years now, so I really don't need anyone to be my best self, got more than enough things going on and succeeding in to worry too much about it (even though I did post about it here, lol).You took action. That puts you ahead of 95% of the rest of the forum already. You should be giving advice, not receiving it.
She left it up to you to set up logistics and you didn't. You dropped the ball. Having a second girl isn't a dealbreaker. Not by any means. Think about how good it would look for you to be out with two girls. A strong possibility of competition between the two also.
There are lots of incels and mgtow's on this forum who have given up. Don't be one of them.
She is jerking you arround. Her mentioned a 3rd party is disrespectful to you. Proceed as you wish, but know she doesn't desire you.She wouldn't have suggested bringing a third party to your date if she desired you.
I would suspect she is using you to feel better about herself/boost her selfesteem, and entertain herself. But I would actually encourage you not to take my word for it, keep going at it and see how it turns out. I hope I'm wrong, but out of my experience I would suspect not.
All of which means absolutely nothing, a list of red herrings or false flags.Well, the signs so far have been:
- her constantly popping by my office
- giggling at almost anything I say
- surprising me for birthday and baking me something
- looking me up and following me on social media
- initiating contact
- playful physical contact
Spot onShe is jerking you arround. Her mentioned a 3rd party is disrespectful to you. Proceed as you wish, but know she doesn't desire you.
Tell me, does she ask you to do any favors for her?Well, the signs so far have been:
- her constantly popping by my office
- giggling at almost anything I say
- surprising me for birthday and baking me something
- looking me up and following me on social media
- initiating contact
- playful physical contact
The bottom line is.. women who are sexually attracted to you will submit to you. Anything other than submission is attention wh0ring, manipulation or exploitation.
Full quote:Partial PHM quote
ExactlyThat was a guy who didn't mince any words in his direct, brutal, honest appraisals. And he did it with the agenda of informing men to make their own choices better, rather than with any hate or insecurity.
No, and she seems to genuinely care how I am and feelTell me, does she ask you to do any favors for her?
Go with what your gut is saying. Attend that plus one “date” with her and just enjoy yourself. Don’t worry about escalating or anything of that nature. focus on having fun.No, and she seems to genuinely care how I am and feel
I am, and my day job is not that kind of workplace - I work on my passion and life purpose in my spare time so I have little free time to spare, and I am seeing success in that regard. I should also mention that I'm an introverted person that doesn't actively go out and meet new people.In my opinion you should be investing your time and effort toward making money. Outworking your colleagues. Allying and learning from the top performers. Being engrossed in your goals and exceeding expectations.
Focus on making money and the women will come.