Yes, Girls Are CLOWNING (and SHARING!!) Your Text of Desperation

[ArcBound]

However this girl is an attention seeking moron and I wouldn't give such a moron the light of day, thankfully I don't associate myself with such cretins.

On a side note women do this sort of thing to try and increase her value. They don't show texts to their bf to show a desperate guy but because they are trying to make him jealous and increase her own value. It's good OP is not falling for it.

 

[JohnnyStorm]

After reading this thread and thinking of the countless AFC messages I sent to this one girl, I feel kind of sick....
The last one I sent, in a moment of weakness...I told her that she gave great hugs and I miss them...she was like, "That's going to be difficult, I'm at the airport with Brad, I guess you're not anywhere near there..."
The idea of her showing this guy, them both laughing, then him pounding her afterwards is quite frankly hilarious/farcical. Never again.

 

[Alvafe]

yeah good thing I don't like texts, just send one phrase or 2 then stop and most of time is for friends, girls I call her, because in anycase I can hear the way she says things and that can be a hint.

and the thing about girls showing msgs to other people is true, I heard colleges, some even did show me saying "this is what he send me, annoying" her words, also you can notice one thing, most woman never delete msgs they get on they phone (unless its full then they spend next 30 min choosing what to delete and what to keep)

 

[sylvester the cat]

ah man, I'm just cringing at the texts I sent to my colleague which i know damn well she showed her friends at work and everyone else in the office.

no wonder i'm always met with knowing smiles whenever i walk past someone.

 

[zekko]

*I* would rather receive a text than a phone call. I can't multitask and talk on the phone too well. Why waste my time on the phone?

Absolutely. The great thing about texting is you can do it anywhere, and you often don't even have to stop what you're doing to do it. Then if there is a reply, you can look at it or answer it at your convenience, whether that be immediately or in 12 hours.

I agree texting is more simplistic. Have you ever gotten a call from a person you like whether it is a girl you are interested in.. or just a good friend? And you just don't feel like answering the phone? I think whether the girl is interested or not that happens often. They just don't feel like answering the phone and will probably send you a text in a bit saying: "hey saw you called, whats up?"

I almost never answer the phone, I screen all my calls. If you call me, you're going to get my voice mail. And chances are I'm not going to call you back right away either. I may get back to you in a few days. If you really needed to tell me something important, you'd text it.

 

[Professor Booty]

I have a rule, and this applies to friends as well, I never send more than two unanswered texts in a row. Two is Ok, because you can't expect a reply to every text that you send. Three should be the absolute most, and there had better be a reasonable time last between the second and third texts. But I can't understand guys that fire off 5 unanswered texts in a short period of time. It just reeks of desperation and borderline stalking. It hardly even matters what you say at that point.

 

[pdx1138]

agreed no more than two without a response, otherwise your a chump with nothing else better do do.

 

[Pardner]

texting works to a point and you can find out if a chick is weird or not thru texts because they all reveal themselves thru text for the most part. talking on the phone is thed best way but sometimes chicks are too bust to talk because of work and school so they shoot you a text or talk in class to you.

 

[DonGorgon]

Yep, and prolly send nude photos and stay up half the night sexting him lol

exactly

 

[muscleman]

There's nothing wrong with texting if it passes the jumbotron test.

Jumbotron test - if your phone was hijacked and plugged into the jumbotron at a game before 50,000 fans, would you be proud of your text exchanges or would you cower?

There's text game - learn to play it. It's actually REALLY good once you hit your stride. The example you gave is, of course, the exact opposite of what you want to do.

 

[dosquito]

That jumbotron test is genius

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I'm just getting back from L.A. after being in Virginia - a.k.a. Hurricane country - for the last 5 days. I had NO idea there'd be this many responses when I got back.

Wow. So... I'm going to go back and read through some of the responses and respond back to them. I'll go in order, so I may be behind a bit from some of the more recent responses...

As a general response, though, I will say this: like any form of communication with a woman, texting CAN be done correctly. However, since the majority of posts on this site consist of text blunders (no, really - go back and look, most of them start out with "so, I sent a girl this text, and..."), it stands to reason that the majority of guys on here don't know how to text correctly.

Texting CAN be used in a positive manner, IF you know how to use texting correctly. At the end of the day, though, all forms of communication should be used for one purpose: as a means of getting her IN FRONT OF YOU, to spend time WITH you. However, texting becomes a crutch for many guys, especially those just starting out in the game, and it's a crutch that becomes more of a hindrance the more they use it.

That's why I advocate NOT using texting. Guys need to stop using text as a way of masking their fears and insecurities about not saying or doing the right things with a woman in their presence, and work more on verbally and physically getting with her.

Anyway... I have a free eBook I'm working on now about this whole "text messaging" issue that will give better insights into my observations on how text messaging kills relationships. It should be done within the next week; in the meantime, I'll start responding to the various comments left on this post - stay tuned!

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Anything written has be short, sweet and to the point, no emotion, no adjectives, no lovey dovey stuff. Anything you text with emotion, she will show to the guy she is having sex with to increase her value to him. An issue with calling I have is playing phone tag, text you know at least she got the message.

I agree with the first part. For starters, though, I always let the girl initiate the text - it means she has time to do it. However, I keep my text short and sweet - a couple pleasantries, then I ask her if she wants to do something later, set up the time, say "great, see you then" and that's it.

Anything longer than that, and you run into dangerous territory. You always want her to have the last word when she texts you - that way, SHE is the one waiting to hear from YOU again instead of the other way around. And she WILL hear from you - when you two meet up

As for phone tag, it's B.S.. Even if she doesn't check her answering machine, your name will show up in the missed call log if she saved your info. Don't fall for her excuse of "oh, I didn't see that you called." This is typically why I don't leave messages either - if I call and she doesn't pick up, I wait a few hours then try again.

Plus, if you send a text and she doesn't answer back it's even WORSE, because now you're going to start playing head games with yourself. "Why didn't she hit me back right away? Is she busy? Is she out with someone else? Has she lost interest in me already??" I don't like starting head games with myself, which is easier to do when you send a text and no response back.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

So...she talks behind the guy? What an attention seeking wh0re really. I mean, yes the guy was an AFC, yes he offered her up things too soon. But does she really need to go around spreading it? Just delete the damned texts and move on, instead of humping your ego with "hey look some guy is so into me he wants to pay for my gas and shvt".Agreed with perseverance, thankfully, I don't have such cretins as friends either. And man am I glad.

Okay, this is just a general note: girls who receive text messages, marriage proposals on first dates, or who have bad dating experiences that they then share with their friends, are NOT attention wh0res. They are just women.

In case you guys aren't aware, women aren't like men. Men can have something happen to them and keep it to themselves for a very long time, thinking it's no one else's business. Women, however, are the opposite: anything that happens in their lives, they have to talk about with someone else. It's the way they bond.

Perfect example: when my brother and I were little, anytime we did something wrong, got in trouble, punished, etc., my Mom would call up one of her 3 sisters (or all of them) and tell them about it. Initially I was embarrassed 'cause I figured it was none of their business if I was in trouble or not. It wasn't until later, when i gained more girls as friends (during my AFC days) that I realized ALL GIRLS DO THIS. Again, it's not a "wh0re" thing, it's a bonding thing.

With that said: understand that, when you leave these massive, lengthy AFC text messages, they WILL be shared, whether you like it or not. Accept it, and learn not to leave such wimpy-sounding evidence behind for her to show to others!

 

[Harry Wilmington]

yup, I have been very receptive to the text I have sent. I don't simply just do the "hey how's your day?" type of thing. I'm usually straight to the point but I think calling for a date puts them on the dam spot for a concrete answer. If they are putting an "uummmmmm???" attitude of indecision towards my plans I'll just let them know they screwed up.

And herein lies the problem: guys are afraid of how a girl will respond if they ask her directly for a date VERBALLY. THIS SHOULD NOT BE YOUR MIND FRAME.

Guys, you gotta build up a thick skin to rejection. Not every girl is going to want to go out with you. The difference, though, is that she'll have more respect for the guy who asks her out like a MAN - i.e. in person, to her face, or by calling her up and using his voice - than she will from some dude who sends her a wimpy text like "so, will u go out with me, lol?"

Here's the reality: whether you call her up or text message her to ask for a date, you're putting her on the spot. The advantage in calling is that you can at least HEAR her response and get a better idea of her interest level. If you text her, she could be sitting there with her girlfriends saying "OMG, this LOSER just asked me out! Should I go or blow him off?? Well, I think I'd like to get a free meal this week, so I'll say yes - but I'll make sure my stand-by sex buddy is waiting by so I can go to his house afterward and get my freak on!"

Compare that to calling her up and asking her out: if the first words out of her mouth are "uuuuuuuuuuummm...." if you're smart, you'll KNOW her stalling means she's not interested, and you'll save yourself some money by not taking a girl out who's just in it for a free meal!

 

[Trump]

Plus, if you send a text and she doesn't answer back it's even WORSE, because now you're going to start playing head games with yourself. "Why didn't she hit me back right away? Is she busy? Is she out with someone else? Has she lost interest in me already??" I don't like starting head games with myself, which is easier to do when you send a text and no response back.

Totally agree, don't make yourself vulnerable in anyway.

 

[Pardner]

*yawn* another anti text guy. you can have a lame convo that would turn out the same way. If you are a good texter it works to your advantage. If you are a creepy desperate loser that sends lame texts then you are a loser. If you suck at convo you will suck at texts. It is your game is what matters. Chicks love texting and if you do it right it works. If they are busy throughout the day they look forward to a text or is their only communication until they can talk.

 

[sighsigh]

Some girl I know put this in her FB album. It got a couple dozen comments making fun.

Poor AFC : (

 

[Gunner26]

I have to agree with the OP massively here. I don't often text girls, even if they are just friends. Like the OP says some girls are more than willing to share some texts they receive, and some of the texts I have seen make me cringe.

One of my better lady friends had an admirer roughly 6 months ago and he text her constantly, bearing in mind that he is from part of our social group and he'd never hinted at his infatuation before it was hilarious to see what he text her. Stuff along the lines of 'I really like you and want to take you out for coffee one day' and 'I know your shocked about this, but I really like you' were some of the more tame things this guy text her. After about a week of this I was unable to be in the same room as the two of them at the same time without laughing, or making a joke.

Moral of the story is as OP says, texting isn't a great idea, that and in my opininon it isn't anywhere near as personal. I have never text a girl I've made out with, and there's been a fair amount of that happening recently, although still no sex, which is unfortunate.

Keep the dealings with women to a phone call, or in person. Even saying stuff like my friends admirer did would sound a hundred times better if said over the phone or to her face instead of by text.

 

[marmel75]

I disagree..
I have fvcked 4 chicks in the past 2 weeks where I never had a voice conversation until we met. Everything thru text. Don't be a lame and u are fine.