Women who want to keep their last name when they get married

[Bigpapa]

I started seeing that this days there are a lot of women who are keeping their last name when they get married

even though this is not a problem , I would say that women who do this are not marriage material on the long term , as keeping her name more or less says that she wants to be independent or your wife depending on which situation works best for her

the thing with this kind of serious commitments is that in order for them to work , both people have to yield some of their independence for the greater good of the relationship , otherwise it will just not work

overall , I believe that when a woman insists of keeping her name after marriage should be avoided for this kind of serious commitments , and should be regarded as a red flag

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I started seeing that this days there are a lot of women who are keeping their last name when they get married

even though this is not a problem , I would say that women who do this are not marriage material on the long term , as keeping her name more or less says that she wants to be independent or your wife depending on which situation works best for her

the thing with this kind of serious commitments is that in order for them to work , both people have to yield some of their independence for the greater good of the relationship , otherwise it will just not work

overall , I believe that when a woman insists of keeping her name after marriage should be avoided for this kind of serious commitments , and should be regarded as a red flag

It's a huge red flag. You start off on the wrong foot. There will be other concessions along the way as well. She might do it, because you are supposed to be man enough to not go along with it.

 

[2Rocky]

Truth be told it IS a huge PITA to change names. SS, Drivers license, Memberships, I sure wouldn't want to do it if I was a woman.

If they have a "Body of Work" with their maiden or first marriage names, it may be tougher for people to cross reference them.

Also you want your kids to have the same last name as you. At least until they are adults themselves. Reason for divorced mothers not reverting to their maiden name.

I'm glad tradition doesn't force me to do it. That is for sure!

 

[Bigpapa]

Truth be told it IS a huge PITA to change names. SS, Drivers license, Memberships, I sure wouldn't want to do it if I was a woman.

If they have a "Body of Work" with their maiden or first marriage names, it may be tougher for people to cross reference them.

Also you want your kids to have the same last name as you. At least until they are adults themselves. Reason for divorced mothers not reverting to their maiden name.

I'm glad tradition doesn't force me to do it. That is for sure!

you still have to renew them once they expire , so you still have to go through this numerous time as life goes on

I do not think that this is indeed a strong argument

but just so you know , when it comes to marriage she either takes the guy last name , either gets her last name next to his last name

So she still has to do all this things once she is married

 

[Velasco]

i dunno enough about the history of my parents to know why my mom didn't take my dad's last name. maybe he didn't give a sht or she wanted to keep her line of the family alive? all i know is they were together for 12 years and only broke up for the reason i talked about before.

 

[Baibars]

I have a german at work who took his wife’s name 2 times. One time with his first wife and then he got divorced and took his second wife’s last name. He earns well and has Status but sadly is beta af..

 

[SW15]

This has been going on for decades in the United States. In other countries, women don't take a man's last name upon marriage.

In other threads, we've been asking "Why bother?" with marriage.

If I did get married, I have mixed feelings about her taking my last name. I'd like it from the standpoint of masculinity and tradition, but it would be a royal pain for her to change her last name. Then, if we got divorced, she either has to return to her maiden name or keep the name of an ex-husband as an unpleasant reminder. I think women should return to their maiden names upon divorce.

I'm not close to getting married and none of my relationships have gotten near that point.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Women who want to keep their last name when they get married?

One word:
Feminism.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I have a german at work who took his wife’s name 2 times. One time with his first wife and then he got divorced and took his second wife’s last name. He earns well and has Status but sadly is beta af..

I would imagine so

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This has been going on for decades in the United States. In other countries, women don't take a man's last name upon marriage.

In other threads, we've been asking "Why bother?" with marriage.

If I did get married, I have mixed feelings about her taking my last name. I'd like it from the standpoint of masculinity and tradition, but it would be a royal pain for her to change her last name. Then, if we got divorced, she either has to return to her maiden name or keep the name of an ex-husband as an unpleasant reminder. I think women should return to their maiden names upon divorce.

I'm not close to getting married and none of my relationships have gotten near that point.

You should not go against masculinity or the tradition, there is a real cost to it. The not taking of the last name is just the start of it, trust me...

 

[AureliusMaximus]

You should not go against masculinity or the tradition, there is a real cost to it. The not taking of the last name is just the start of it, trust me...

Its more than that:
To make sure your children and their children etc. continues to carry your family name into the future, she must have your name if married. To secure the linage of your house if you will in old terms. (Please don't come with the bs that your kids can chose later..)

 

[SW15]

You should not go against masculinity or the tradition, there is a real cost to it. The not taking of the last name is just the start of it, trust me...

I do not foresee myself getting married at this point. I am pushing 40 with 0 marriages to my name.

 

[Sir FB]

When I got divorced after 20 years, I asked her to switch back to her maiden name. She refused

 

[mrgoodstuff]

When I got divorced after 20 years, I asked her to switch back to her maiden name. She refused

Like Scottie Pippens wife doing all that cheating with his name.

 

[NSX-R]

The only ones that should take the name of the father is only your kids . For a woman to change her name makes little to no difference. I personally consider it stupid

 

[NSX-R]

There are no women I'm currently considering marrying, so it's not an issue.

My parents are more than 30 years together and my mother still got her own name . Saying a woman is not marrying material because of that is plain stupid and completely missing the point . I don’t even think that to be a requirement for your future wife

 

[SW15]

Like Scottie Pippens wife doing all that cheating with his name.

She has disgraced the Pippen name more than Scottie getting a DUI or refusing to re-enter that playoff game in 1994.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I’m getting married in 7 weeks, and that’s not an issue for us. She even gets delighted when someone sees us arrive and they say “The Smashers are here!”, thinking we’re already married.
My gosh, did I ever hit the lottery. My advice to you marriage-minded guys: If she won’t gladly take your name, head for the hills. She is going to be under your care and authority. She takes your name or it’s game over.

 

[BeExcellent]

As a woman who travels extensively for business I decided to add his name onto mine and be known by his name, personally and professionally...but changing all my IDs, passport, credit cards, loyalty program memberships etc. didn’t make sense, especially since I got married months before 9/11 and lots of things got harder regarding those things for awhile. I was on the road literally every week several times a week so there would have been some disruption. Didn’t seem worth it.

My kids all have his last name (not mine at all) and even though I’m divorced now 7 years I’m still known professionally by his last name, which is sort of ironic. One of my banks has my name & signature with his last name & Ive actually had a tough time getting them to drop his name. I don’t care.

If I ever do marry again I’m happy to take my spouse’s name. It gets kind of silly depending on who is asking me “What’s your name? And I’m sort of like “Gee. Who am I again for these people...”

Cheers

 

[Bigpapa]

My parents are more than 30 years together and my mother still got her own name . Saying a woman is not marrying material because of that is plain stupid and completely missing the point . I don’t even think that to be a requirement for your future wife

And are they happy ?

don”t get me wrong , if the girl comes from a strong family , makes total sense on why she should stick to her maiden name

otherwise , it is plain bullsh1t and marrying more or less on her terms , instead on yours or on a common background

if the guy would come from a strong family and she is not , then she will be super happy to take it , even if she is the biggest feminist out there

what I am trying to say is that for the guy marriage is quite a big gamble , and usually when things start with demands and stuff like that , usually they go south