Women who flake

[Mazeman11]

I like this post. I dont mind persistence, and I certainly have not cut her out of my life completley. She still has my phone number, and is a vague acquaintence if nothing else. I too have a "gut feeling" about her, but I am horrible when it comes to kissing a woman's ass, metaphorically. I somehow feel that me leaving her alone, and dating other women will eventually be the key, if anything is going to go down. It is only a small chance, but it does exist.

I'm one of the most stubborn people you can meet and as far as you could imagine from being an ass kisser. You have to be flexible and diverse if you want to get what you want in life. Calling a girl and talking to her will not make you an less of a man. Women have more choices than men. But we have something just as important: Self-Control. No one can tell you when you should call, when not to call or when to simply walk away. You have to find your own style and see what works for you. Our personalities are different and not all women as the same. You already have the edge over most chumps out there since you are taking initiative and want to learn how to be successful.

 

[guru1000]

Not to rain on your parade, but, from what you quoted her saying, sounds to me as if she meant "dinner date" meaning she had a date to do dinner with her friend and her friend's husband. Doesn't sound like she's saying there was another guy she was going to go with, as on a double date.

That is exactly how I intepreted it.

Here is the kicker.

Dinner was at 9. She calls me at 12:30 that night.

Her: Hey so sorry it took so long, I just finished dinner

Me: Ok, where are you?

Her: Home

Me: LOL. Why go home, you were 5 min away.

Her: Dont get mad, I brought a date. It was planned before we even met. That is why I wanted to bring you.

Me: LOL. You should have stayed with your date.

Her: No he was a 2 but a very succesful lawyer. He had a private practice.

Me: i thought your minimum threshold was a 7

Her: Yes but he is very successful and I didn't want to go alone

Me: LMAO

Her: Is it too late or do you want me to come by?

Me: Come by.

Yes not the highest quality girl.

However,

She expressed herself very overtly. The type who puts her own foot in her mouth.

The truth of the matter is most women act this way. Most will NOT express themselves this way as it makes them look like low class GARBAGE.

I respect the fact that she does not pretend like MOST women to be something she is not and then blame you afterwards for LABELING her as such .

This girl is the PRIME example for this thread as she is totally OPEN with her behavior and does not justify it. Not your typical female in communication but in action.

Yep, you could say that again! A gal tells me on a date that she flaked a date because her ex BF booty called her? What a gal! That would be the end of the date for me. Unless I just want to bang her.

100% agree with you there. She apparently is still hung up on her X. I SUPPOSEDLY am her first since her X. I do believe that as you can see she has nothing to hide. LOL.

Reminds me of a couple of weeks ago when some gal in a bar was hitting on me and she's telling me how it is that she's currently seeing two married guys, and was at that moment standing up some other guy - and I'm thinking "This is supposed to impress me? That you're a sh1tter?" and also thinking how amazed I am that women feel so free to publicly admit about what a disgrace they are, as if it's something admirable or at the very least, they don't think that you may view them as not having integrity?

I guess they don't. I guess enough guys turn a deaf ear for the chance of getting some. You have to sleep with one eye open.

Makes you wonder if they have low IL and are trying to steer you away.

Apparently some do not possess consequential thinking.

But again, I RESPECT their OVERT nature. Most woman will think and act this way covertly.

 

[JackPrescott]

I'm one of the most stubborn people you can meet and as far as you could imagine from being an ass kisser. You have to be flexible and diverse if you want to get what you want in life. Calling a girl and talking to her will not make you an less of a man. Women have more choices than men. But we have something just as important: Self-Control. No one can tell you when you should call, when not to call or when to simply walk away. You have to find your own style and see what works for you. Our personalities are different and not all women as the same. You already have the edge over most chumps out there since you are taking initiative and want to learn how to be successful.

Great post, and good advice. This is all true.

 

[guru1000]

Fascinating example, thanks for sharing. The hard part for guys like myself who are behind the curve so to speak is digesting that this is the way of the world. Its as incorrigible as Newtons laws: Attractive women have options. It has taken , and will take more time and experience to sink in, but it is the naked truth.

I am well aware that highly interesting women will go out of their way to meet you. During the later stages is where I encounter more flaky instances. That said , my question is what threshold do you tolerate flaking? When do you abandon and when do you show sticktuiativeness (sp) and keep moving forward? I would classify dealing with flakes as a weak part of my current system. Currently, I don't tolerate my time being wasted and move on almost immediately.

As I say this is the NATURE of the BEAST.

However, nothing is UNIVERSAL.

Every woman will essentially MEASURE you against her previous relationships. She will then define her IL in you.

But,

What is a 3 to one woman, may be a 10 to another. And vice-versa.

You MUST find one that has HIGH IL in you.

These are the women who will ALWAYS follow through with their dates. They will travel half way across the world to see you.

Bottomline, no one other than HIGH IL women are WORTH your time and energy.

Why chase a girl who uses you as a back up plan, convenience or a crutch.

What is my tolerance for flaking? 0%

 

[synergy1]

I am glad my ideals on flaking are 100% congruent with yours. 0%, Guess I am not changing a thing

 

[TheNastyAfrican]

Look it's been said here on the board a million times, if you're talking to/dating/seeing several women at once that one who flakes won't mean a thing. I guess that means I'm a 0% guy myself

 

[Mr. Me]

Her: Yes but he is very successful and I didn't want to go alone

Greedy AND needy! It's like having two girls in one! LOL

 

[Reyaj]

I'm not sure if there's an easy solution because each situation I'm in is different. I'm starting to believe that these women enjoy giving out their # and planning dates because it boosts their ego. They're not actually interested in getting to know me or pursuing something, they just like the fact that guys are interested in them.

But that's not really what I want to think about right now. I'm interested in learning how to put each flake behind me and move on with a positive attitude. But like I said in my initial post, that's hard when it keeps happening over and over again. You lose faith in women. You get to the point where a new one passes you on the street and smiles, and you don't feel like entertaining it anymore because you feel like she'll just flake on you, too.

EXACTLY!

 

[Mr. Me]

that's hard when it keeps happening over and over again. You lose faith in women. You get to the point where a new one passes you on the street and smiles, and you don't feel like entertaining it anymore because you feel like she'll just flake on you, too.

Firstly, learn how to see a potential flaking coming so as to nip it in the bud and handle it. Not only does that serve to stop spinning your wheels on their whims, but it's rather empowering since it puts you in the driver's seat instead of them.

It also spills over to one's business dealings as well. I'm going through that this morning. Have an inquiry that is trying to spin my wheels, but I already know where this will end up if I let her. I'm in the unique position where my clients are mostly female and young, so they handle business in much the same manner as they handle dating. But this stuff could easily be applied to male clients too.

Then, when you get disheartened and feel like you've lost faith in women, keep in mind that putting faith in women, in general, is the incorrect emphasis. Build faith in yourself so as to know and be confident that you're weeding out the wrong women, and that all you're looking for, ultimately or theoretically, is just one great one, not all these others. And each one brings you closer to her, and prepares you for it.

Try that mind set.

 

[xectxny19x]

Great post, Mr. Me.

 

[Reyaj]

archive this bad boy

 

[JackPrescott]

Firstly, learn how to see a potential flaking coming so as to nip it in the bud and handle it. Not only does that serve to stop spinning your wheels on their whims, but it's rather empowering since it puts you in the driver's seat instead of them.

It also spills over to one's business dealings as well. I'm going through that this morning. Have an inquiry that is trying to spin my wheels, but I already know where this will end up if I let her. I'm in the unique position where my clients are mostly female and young, so they handle business in much the same manner as they handle dating. But this stuff could easily be applied to male clients too.

Then, when you get disheartened and feel like you've lost faith in women, keep in mind that putting faith in women, in general, is the incorrect emphasis. Build faith in yourself so as to know and be confident that you're weeding out the wrong women, and that all you're looking for, ultimately or theoretically, is just one great one, not all these others. And each one brings you closer to her, and prepares you for it.

Try that mind set.

Good mindset, but I still dont get the flaking. A woman who keeps contacting me, via texting, has no sexual interest in me, but yesterday, was insistant that I see how her new hair coloring came out, and texted me a picture when she got out of the beauty salon. But she refuses to have a drink with me. WTF? I simply dont get the mentality of the Attention Wh*ore.

 

[Reyaj]

Good mindset, but I still dont get the flaking. A woman who keeps contacting me, via texting, has no sexual interest in me, but yesterday, was insistant that I see how her new hair coloring came out, and texted me a picture when she got out of the beauty salon. But she refuses to have a drink with me. WTF? I simply dont get the mentality of the Attention Wh*ore.

Read my approach journal dude.... who on this board honestly understands women dude? I feel there are too many keyboard jockeys and not enough real world players posting.

 

[Reyaj]

then you are a real world player dude. I don't understand the games myself..... but I'm starting to feel you just have to accept that way society is and try your best to adapt.

 

[Reyaj]

Firstly, learn how to see a potential flaking coming so as to nip it in the bud and handle it. Not only does that serve to stop spinning your wheels on their whims, but it's rather empowering since it puts you in the driver's seat instead of them.

It also spills over to one's business dealings as well. I'm going through that this morning. Have an inquiry that is trying to spin my wheels, but I already know where this will end up if I let her. I'm in the unique position where my clients are mostly female and young, so they handle business in much the same manner as they handle dating. But this stuff could easily be applied to male clients too.

Then, when you get disheartened and feel like you've lost faith in women, keep in mind that putting faith in women, in general, is the incorrect emphasis. Build faith in yourself so as to know and be confident that you're weeding out the wrong women, and that all you're looking for, ultimately or theoretically, is just one great one, not all these others. And each one brings you closer to her, and prepares you for it.

Try that mind set.

THe only thing is sometimes you may look back and think you could have put more effort in and gotten the lay.... but who will ever know right?

 

[Mr. Me]

^^^ At first, perhaps. But when it repeats itself over and over again and you see the patterns, then you become more assured that the odds of this being a flake are evident.

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, then it must be a duck. And I don't have to wonder if it may have been not a duck.

After a while you realize that it's not about you putting in more effort. It's about the girl doing the right things by you so as to warrant your time and effort. So that your effort is productive, and so that your effort stays light. And for that to happen, she has to show she's interested, not uninterested.

Also, it's rather specious to think that you "could have put more effort in and gotten the lay". Other twists and turns may have come into play.

After a while you realize it's not about just getting laid. "guys who's pinnacle of the day/life is to get laid are enslaved by women". I'd add that objective keeps you working just as a Valet to your d1ck, always solely looking for places to park it.

 

[Sandow]

All i have to say about this topic is that women are just very flaky creatures in general. I don't think it has anything to do with their interest level, I've had girls very interested that have flaked. There's no real explanation for it.

 

[mikeraw]

After a while you realize it's not about just getting laid. "guys who's pinnacle of the day/life is to get laid are enslaved by women". I'd add that objective keeps you working just as a Valet to your d1ck, always solely looking for places to park it.

So what's a higher objective? I'm not arguing, but at this stage of my life, I live for getting laid... quantity, not quality, being my only greater objective... and I guess it's to make it quantity AND quality... but the fact remains that it's all about the pvssy... Marriage will not be an objective for me for at least another 5 years. And honing my social skills is not an end in itself, rather, again, a means to get laid.

I'm not trying to argue, I'm just trying to see the light of a greater objective for a 27 yr old professional, if there is one...

 

[Reyaj]

So what's a higher objective? I'm not arguing, but at this stage of my life, I live for getting laid... quantity, not quality, being my only greater objective... and I guess it's to make it quantity AND quality... but the fact remains that it's all about the pvssy... Marriage will not be an objective for me for at least another 5 years. And honing my social skills is not an end in itself, rather, again, a means to get laid.

I'm not trying to argue, I'm just trying to see the light of a greater objective for a 27 yr old professional, if there is one...

Yeah seriously. I mean I'm not taking away anything from anyone who says to next the flakes because thats what I'm starting to do.... but are there ways to minimize it???? I mean some guys are banging these girls right? They must be doing something so that they aren't getting flaked on???

 

[Mr. Me]

So what's a higher objective? I'm not arguing, but at this stage of my life, I live for getting laid

So do fruit flies.

There's got to be more to a man. A higher purpose. Not that we all have to find the cure for cancer, but even if it's to make great music or be a bowling champ, there has to be a vision that's not just about genital stimulation.

Not to sound "new agy", yet... Then with that as your core, I'd think the women that are attracted to you become your devotees, your admirers and cheerleaders as well, but you don't live for them, you live for your purpose. It's in your soul. Sex is the byproduct, as having that purpose, that life path, adds to your attractiveness, so to speak.

I'm being extremely succinct here because this can become a book. It's expressed to a large degree in David Deida's book, "The Way Of The Superior Man", in which, IMO, he speaks about a DJ type of being. Maybe it's worth a read.

but are there ways to minimize it???? I mean some guys are banging these girls right? They must be doing something so that they aren't getting flaked on???

The women are more interested in those guys and so they keep the dates. Interest is the key.

Jayer, according to your thread, you overwhelm women with too much, too soon and by trying to rush things along. That's my thinking. If you slowed that down some, paced it out instead of trying to be proactive, be not so available, and when you are with them, be nothing but fun, their interest may be piqued more. If you can do that, then they "chase" after you rather than you pursuing them. If you intrigue them that way, then they can't possibly think about flaking on you.

I remembered the other day about a time when I was 12. My family and I were visiting my family's friends and they had a little girl who was probably about 13. I recall while we were playing around that she wanted to greet me with a kiss on my cheek and I said "no" and teased her and wouldn't let her and that only made her want to kiss me all the more. It's human nature.