Women who flake

[jophil28]

I respond "I dont do MAYBES, Yes or No".

They always respond "YES, YES"

ME "Nevermind, you dont sound enthusiastic enough."

Her "Ok. YES! YES!"

ME: "Ok , Ill think about it"

Her: "O Come on"

Me: "On one condition, your treat"

Gold.

 

[Latinoman]

LOL. Pretty funny too.

 

[Juando]

Great post. As I've often said, a genuinely interested woman will move mountains to get to your erect penis. A fake ass flake loves the attention and needs it for her ego, but has no interest in you sexually.

This sums up the reality I'm experiencing now.

Can anyone relate to this: After ending a 12 year ltr last year this new reality split between genuine and fake women has hit me like a bat to the face.

Women going for the erect penis was much more my experience before the ltr.

Is it simply that I've gotten older and have less perceived value? Or have women changed? I have absolutely no problem attracting women from 18 up, but now it's usually work to qualify them and/or getting them to where I want.

What gives?

 

[jophil28]

This sums up the reality I'm experiencing now.

Can anyone relate to this: After ending a 12 year ltr last year this new reality split between genuine and fake women has hit me like a bat to the face.

Women going for the erect penis was much more my experience before the ltr.

Is it simply that I've gotten older and have less perceived value? Or have women changed? I have absolutely no problem attracting women from 18 up, but now it's usually work to qualify them and/or getting them to where I want.

What gives?

You are out of practise Juando and I BET that you are NOT acting dominant and taking the lead enough. You are perhaps dipping you toe in with each woman and then waiting until you see expressions of interest from her, and so then you take another tentative step forward and wait for her to react -and so on and so on.
You are probably also 'THINKING' about your every move before you make it. My guess is that you are trying to date with as few risks as possible. Right ?
The problem with this approach is that you may appear to be unassertive and a tad passive, or lacking in confidence.

Just my gut talking here....

 

[Juando]

You are out of practise Juando and I BET that you are NOT acting dominant and taking the lead enough. You are perhaps dipping you toe in with each woman and then waiting until you see expressions of interest from her, and so then you take another tentative step forward and wait for her to react -and so on and so on.
You are probably also 'THINKING' about your every move before you make it. My guess is that you are trying to date with as few risks as possible. Right ?
The problem with this approach is that you may appear to be unassertive and a tad passive, or lacking in confidence.

Just my gut talking here....

Your powers of perception and analysis here are awesome, Jo.

Your observation is dead-on relative to where I was when I was still fresh out of the ltr. I would like to think that I've advanced well beyond that stage but the proof would have to be in the "pudding", no? And obviously from what I'm saying the pudding is still mixed.

I'm intrigued with your "dating with risks" concept. I'm not exactly sure if I get you but I'm interpreting it as forceful, skillful, smooth, forward movement in getting with a woman. I actually have been doing that, much improved, but perhaps I'm not putting that efficient mode to its best use because a couple of women on the receiving end of my attention I have some history with, perhaps too much, I still struggle with one-itis (curable?), but to top it off (more one-itis?) I am tenacious and hate to give up, surrender, etc.

Can't tell if I'm in still a freshman dj or on the verge of breaking through.

dj school is not for the faint of heart, I'm finding out, at least for me.
But the wisdom and support around here is pretty amazing.

 

[jmeredi]

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[jophil28]

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[jophil28]

I'm intrigued with your "dating with risks" concept. I'm not exactly sure if I get you but I'm interpreting it as forceful, skillful, smooth, forward movement in getting with a woman.
.

That is an excellent interpretation of "dating with risks". The ONLY risk in dating woman is rhe risk of rejection .Curiously (and paradoxically ) I found that being tentative and ' measured" in my approach and interaction with them may 'feel' safer but it actually INCREASES the risk of failure because of her perception of me as someone who is passive and lacking confidence.

I guess that unkind truth applies to life in general as well ..

 

[Mr. Me]

Speaking of flakes... here's a real life example that's happening right now.

A couple of weeks back, met up with a HB10. She was very attracted to me, giving me lots of IOI: compliments, asking personal questions, kissing me first, hitting another place with me after hours, taking my hand into hers, asking me I had plans for the next day.

Along with that, I saw some flags: she moved into the city about a year ago, having gotten divorced, and has a child BUT the child isn't with her. Since custody usually goes to the mother, unless there's good reason, you have to wonder why she didn't obtain custody. She's also a flight attendant, and you'd think she'd meet enough guys in first class every day and have her pick of pilots, so what is she doing hitting on me? Then, at some late point, she's like, "Are you a nice guy? Are you?" as if she's had her share of getting hurt, so that was kind of creepy. But hey, she's hot and I figured I could just have a little fun...

So I call her a few days later and get her VM and leave a nondescript little message that I called. She doesn't call back. I figured I'd try one more time and about a week later, I called again, got her VM, left another brief message, a la little jest. That was last Sunday. No return call, not that I expect a return call. But, given how interested she appeared, and being secure in knowing how I came across, and seeing those flags and now how she's flaked, the only thing I could figure is that she's a loon.

This morning (Thursday), I get a text:

"Sorry I've been such a flake! Crazy busy w school and work. Hope you are well and that I can see u again soon take care"

So what I get out of this is:

She didn't call me. She avoided speaking to me by texting me.

She knows she's been flaking.

I don't buy her 'crazy with school and work' excuses.

That 'hope to see u again'... that's probably bullsh!t, she sees I'm aloof and the last message inferred that we'd probably not hook up again, so she's attempting to pull me in?

Well... I admit, my d1ck really wants to get to know her better. So, I'm thinking one more shot? Call her on Sunday or so with a ****y "so, when are you gonna ask me out?" and if nothing comes of it, then that's that.

 

[JackPrescott]

This is true. An HB10 stewardess has many, many options, including rich guys from 1st class, who will offer her a week in the Riviera for a chance to eat her pu*ssy on their speedboat. So she wasnt a good option for a LTR unless you have $$$.

 

[Juando]

Well... I admit, my d1ck really wants to get to know her better. So, I'm thinking one more shot? Call her on Sunday or so with a ****y "so, when are you gonna ask me out?" and if nothing comes of it, then that's that.

Perhaps you'll get lucky and I hope you do but my experience has been that when things get to this point it's not worth putting any effort or time into a lost cause.

AND it's also playing with fire: imagine that she does agree to meet you.
You are then AGAIN open to her flakiness and immaturity, YOU are again vulnerable to being left out to dry. Is that what you want?

I would point my rod in a different direction.

 

[mzilla2]

Lots of good advice in this thread!

 

[Mr. Me]

You are then AGAIN open to her flakiness and immaturity, YOU are again vulnerable to being left out to dry. Is that what you want?

I wasn't ever "left out to dry". I called two times within two weeks, leaving a brief 5 second message both times. That's all. Okay, maybe it was 6 seconds long.

 

[drmeathead]

mr me....

she doesnt care to win and but doesnt want to lose. she knows you are slipping away so she will just be interested enough that she can think as she is getting her nails done....yup mr me still wants to **** me. i am pretty. i am worth it. i am NOT getting old or annoying. I AM SOMEBODY!!!!...

let her get validation for her parking....not for her social value and certainly not from you

 

[STR8UP]

I wasn't ever "left out to dry". I called two times within two weeks, leaving a brief 5 second message both times. That's all. Okay, maybe it was 6 seconds long.

Exactly.

Once you have figured out who you are dealing with you alter your game.

There is no reason to completely write a flaky woman off.

You don't "scold" her.

You don't say "I'm never gonna talk to that b!tch again!"

You simply step back and reassess.

Then, if you feel like it, in a few weeks hit her up and say, "Hey, I'm going to XXXXXXXX tonight. You should meet US there at 10". Then go to XXXXXX and hang out with your friends and have a good time without expecting her to show, even if she agrees to. If she does, great. If not, you are out nothing.

From this day forward I will NEVER again make plans with a woman who has not PROVEN herself. She will get a spur of the moment call, and she can take it of leave it. If SHE counters, then you say, "Well, I'm not sure about Thursday night. Call me Thursday afternnon and we'll see what we can work out".

Checkmate.

I have dealt with more flakes in the past year than most guys go through in three years. And I'm glad I did, cause now I know how to handle them.

I repeat again, don't burn bridges! It doesn't do a damn bit of good to get pissy and get in her face about it. All it will do is make you look like a whiny pu$$y in her eyes.

The Lebanese flake from awhile back? Now I'm working on nailing her friend. That would likely be impossible if I hadn't played my cards right and treated her flaking nonchalantly. Her friend seems VERY interested, and very NON flaky.

I have a handful of cases like this and I won't go into detail with all of them, but suffice to say it's best to deal with a flaky plate by acknowledging her game and turning it right around on her, but NEVER throw the plate on the floor. Your ego isn't THAT fragile, I hope.

 

[Phyzzle]

Does aggression=Flaking?

Mr. Me's post was one of a long line of similar situations I've read about and experienced. There seem to be a lot of cases where the most seriously, massively, AGGRESSIVELY interested women will tend to flake out.

I remember telling one woman what my job was, after which she licked her finger and poked it into my shoulder, "PSSSHHHT", cause I was so HOT! I remember a punk girl named Anne saying, "you seem cool, here, you should have my #. Give me a call sometime." Do you think these girls actually showed up to a meet without sending the flake-text an hour in advance? Of course not.

Every few weeks, there is a thread in one of the forums here about "she VOLUNTEERED her digits. Why won't she call back?"

I recall Anti-Dump once told Master of the Universe (guy who wrote the DJ Boot Camp), "you were dead in the water when she walked up and gave you her number. Interested women do not volunteer their numbers." A lot of people laughed at him for that, but he turned out to be right, and I think the old guy knew what he was talking about.

 

[synergy1]

I agree with STR8up and not to burn bridges. Near the end of 05 , I was trying to game some chick back in college. Seemed like I was on the right track, but as soon as I tried to initiate anything, she backed off. Soon the flakiness came, and I knew it was time to bail and cut my losses. Like Str8UP recommended, I actually kept in contact, but moved on and hooked up with other girls.

Fast forward two years to today. I am still in touch and I still meet her and her friends out every so often, but am continuing to game other girls. Now, she has the hots for me like you wouldn't believe. Too bad I have no attraction for her.

I plan on banging all the girls I never got in the past 3 years, cept that one...she's let go too much

 

[STR8UP]

I recall Anti-Dump once told Master of the Universe (guy who wrote the DJ Boot Camp), "you were dead in the water when she walked up and gave you her number. Interested women do not volunteer their numbers." A lot of people laughed at him for that, but he turned out to be right, and I think the old guy knew what he was talking about.

This is almost always true, but SOME women are more aggressive than others, and they WILL make a first move. They aren't usually the "ideal" type, but thats beside the point.

 

[STR8UP]

Fast forward two years to today. I am still in touch and I still meet her and her friends out every so often, but am continuing to game other girls. Now, she has the hots for me like you wouldn't believe. Too bad I have no attraction for her.

What's the best way to make a woman want you?

Fukk her friends. As many as possible.

 

[drmeathead]

What's the best way to make a woman want you?

Fukk her friends. As many as possible.

i agree. my mom gave me that advice. when i look back at the advice i got from my parents about women they were on point. i was just too plugged into the uber AFC uber Christian matrix to see any value.