Women that are too successful for a mate

[MatureDJ]

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.co...uccessfulForAMate.aspx?GT1=33009#pageTopAchor

The majority of my most successful, good-looking, educated, talented girlfriends are still single.

If they had Y chromosomes, they would have been married a decade ago. Instead, like successful single women all over the country, they trek into their mid- to late 30s on their own -- experiencing fabulous professional success, buying real estate and making savvy investments for the future, without much going on in the relationship department.

What gives?

I'll tell you what gives, Honey. Men don't care if their woman is successful. They just want her to be physically attractive, be satisfying sexually, cook an edible meal, keep the home neat, and not be upsetting to his psychological constitution. Try working on that, and these women will not have a problem finding a good man.

 

[Mr. Me]

From the rhetoric I hear out of women's mouths here around NYC, it seems to me these are women who look to *compete* with men. Any guy that they'd consider has to earn as much or most times, more, be everything on their list of wants, cater to them, and then be content being on their back burner while they go ahead and do whatever their "strong and independent" thing is, which is code for "rigid and bossy".

And when a guy refuses to go along with their program and be treated like an accessory, like an afterthought, as of no consequence, subordinate to everything else in her life, he takes stock of himself and says he's worth way more than that - and then they label the guy as being "intimidated by a successful woman".

Just read the last paragraph where the successful woman says she doesn't wish to "compromise in the decision making every day". Even though obviously from her own words she's the one that refuses to be compatible, it's all about her - yet she claims it's about the men, that the men prefer a "simple" girl as it makes the male's role "clearer" in that he wishes to be the decision maker.

This is how they explain it away: it's always the guy who's at fault, never them.

So you hear nonsense, as in this article, like men "traditionally choosing women over whom they can exert control", instead of: men would rather settle down with compatible women who love them, they get along with, are comfortable with, and who don't engage them in power struggles every frickin' day and endless arguments posturing for control.

 

[azanon]

I'll tell you what gives, Honey. Men don't care if their woman is successful. They just want her to be physically attractive, be satisfying sexually, cook an edible meal, keep the home neat, and not be upsetting to his psychological constitution. Try working on that, and these women will not have a problem finding a good man.

I can't lie; I care. I love great sex as much as any other man, but I also enjoy stimulating conversations with an intelligent woman too, and a healthy paycheck from her (if you're married/in a relationship) is very nice too.

Hey if you're bringing in 150K or more, then sure, don't care if she's successful since money is covered. I don't quite make 150K though and I suspect many of you don't either.

Now if we're just talking about gaming/ONS, I could not care less what she does or makes. My comments above pertain to potential LTR candidates. But even for a ONS, it sure is a enjoyable plus to be with someone who's a challenge, mentally. I'd feel too guilty if they were too easily manipulated.

 

[frivolousz21]

I know a couple guys who are stay at home dads.

one women is a lawyer the other I believe in the medical field.

they are not afc guys....and it works for them.

 

[Purple-Haze]

I can't lie; I care. I love great sex as much as any other man, but I also enjoy stimulating conversations with an intelligent woman too, and a healthy paycheck from her (if you're married/in a relationship) is very nice too.

Hey if you're bringing in 150K or more, then sure, don't care if she's successful since money is covered. I don't quite make 150K though and I suspect many of you don't either.

Now if we're just talking about gaming/ONS, I could not care less what she does or makes. My comments above pertain to potential LTR candidates. But even for a ONS, it sure is a enjoyable plus to be with someone who's a challenge, mentally.

Points for being honest.

I suspect a very strong, masculine man wouldn't be threatened by a woman making more money than him. And when you are a COUPLE you do end up making many decisions together (where it affects you both).

He wouldn't let her success take away from his masculinity. However, if she had a sense of entitlement because of her education or income, then he has every right to call her out on it.

 

[jophil28]

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.co...uccessfulForAMate.aspx?GT1=33009#pageTopAchor



I'll tell you what gives, Honey. Men don't care if their woman is successful. They just want her to be physically attractive, be satisfying sexually, cook an edible meal, keep the home neat, and not be upsetting to his psychological constitution. Try working on that, and these women will not have a problem finding a good man.

Women have been brainwashed into believing that thay "can have it all ", well here is some evidence that you women just CANNOT.
If you choose a career ladies, and place most of your energy and time into that you will likely succeed in building a successful career.
Similarly, if you give yourself to a good man and actively CO-CREATE a relationship with him,you will likely wind up in an LTR with a good man.
Girls, if you really want a great man you need to be willing to JOIN his life.

Women who have bought the "we can have it all " shyte fully deserve the loneliness that is inevitable. They often try to recruit a man to mold himself into a different shape to fit THEIR life.
AS LMS would say -
" This is not the natural order of things ".

I wonder how many women have been successful in pulling this off. My guess is NONE.

 

[Purple-Haze]

Women have been brainwashed into believing that thay "can have it all ", well here is some evidence that you women just CANNOT.
If you choose a career ladies, and place most of your energy and time into that you will likely succeed in building a successful career.
Similarly, if you give yourself to a good man and actively CO-CREATE a relationship with him,you will likely wind up in an LTR with a good man.
Girls, if you really want a great man you need to be willing to JOIN his life.

Women who have bought the "we can have it all " shyte fully deserve the loneliness that is inevitable because they try to recruit a man to mold himself into a different shape to fit THEIR life.
I wonder how many women have been successful in pulling this off. My guess is NONE.

I'd have to agree with the bolded statement above. I think that some women put so much of themselves into their work that they do neglect their home, their family and this is when trouble begins to brew.

Women are often conflicted over which path to take - raise the kids and give them time or work on your career and get ahead.

For some women, it's a balancing act - they try to do both but do end up giving one more attention than the other. A few are great at handling both (being a great mother and a career woman).

But really, what kind of man wants a woman to abandon her goals and aspirations so she can sit at home and fawn all over him? Do you guys actually find THAT attractive? Wouldn't you want a partner who is intelligent and dedicated - one who goes after what she wants?

 

[jophil28]

..and then be content being on their back burner while they go ahead and do whatever their "strong and independent" thing is, which is code for "rigid and bossy".

.

I am constantly amazed at the ability of women to twist and distort reality by the creative misuse of words.

Mister Me - you called it !

 

[jophil28]

Oh, boo hoo , you poor dears .. so women are often "conflicted". Give me strength !
YOu gave birth to these children. You CHOSE to be a mother so take your responsibilties seriously and raise them like a mature adult mother - your career needs to be put on the back burner, NOT the kids .

 

[Purple-Haze]

Oh, boo hoo , you poor dears .. so women are often "conflicted". Give me strength !
YOu gave birth to these children. You CHOSE to be a mother so take your responsibilties seriously and raise them like a mature adult mother - your career needs to be put on the back burner, NOT the kids .

I'd have to agree with you here.

If an adult is going to make the decision to have a child, they should follow through with it by parenting the best way they can. Choosing ANYTHING over your children is selfish and leads to MANY issues later on.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I can't lie; I care. I love great sex as much as any other man, but I also enjoy stimulating conversations with an intelligent woman too, and a healthy paycheck from her (if you're married/in a relationship) is very nice too.

Hey if you're bringing in 150K or more, then sure, don't care if she's successful since money is covered. I don't quite make 150K though and I suspect many of you don't either.

Now if we're just talking about gaming/ONS, I could not care less what she does or makes. My comments above pertain to potential LTR candidates. But even for a ONS, it sure is a enjoyable plus to be with someone who's a challenge, mentally. I'd feel too guilty if they were too easily manipulated.

I want it all too; looks, brains, athletic, and if she doesn't have her own money, she doesn't hate guys that have their own or feel that she's entitled to it. For sanity it seems that it's easier on me if they have their own.

In New York $150k a year is pretty basic. I can understand women wanting a guy who can make it there on his own merit as opposed to barely getting by. It's dog eat dog much like LA and someone who doesn't have the same mindset when it comes to finances can tend to hold you down if you aren't one to the be the main provider in a relationship.

The article is correct in that women are finding it a bit more difficult to find viable men who equal them monetarily and education wise. Women have been earning more advanced degrees than men for a few years now. It's not to say that having an advance degree means someone is more intelligent but it does say that the person values extending their education which is an attraction to many self sufficient women.

All in all, most men care more about looks than anything else. Hell, a good portion would feel a bit unsettled if they were dealing with a woman who was more successful. Right or wrong, women of means do tend to have a harder time finding guys to their liking. They could just be even more fickle than the typical woman.

 

[jophil28]

But really, what kind of man wants a woman to abandon her goals and aspirations so she can sit at home and fawn all over him? Do you guys actually find THAT attractive? Wouldn't you want a partner who is intelligent and dedicated - one who goes after what she wants?

Once again we are seeing how women twist and distort to sabotage debate. There was never any suggestion by a man here that we want a woman to sit at home and "fawn all over him" This is YOUR invention, and it is a cheap trick.

Secondly - I do like intelligent women. Do you have anyone in you circle of friends who is like that PH ?
Shoot me her email if she is single.

 

[Purple-Haze]

Once again we are seeing how women twist and distort to sabotage debate. There was never any suggestion by a man here that we want a woman to sit at home and "fawn all over him" This is YOUR invention, and it is a cheap trick.

Secondly - I do like intelligent women. Do you have anyone in you circle of friends who is like that PH ?
Shoot me her email if she is single.

I was referring to the bit about a woman who devotes her time to maintain her LTR (to the detriment of other areas of her life). From my experience (and that of my friends), a woman who does this is walked all over (she identifies herself through the R and ends up driving the guy away). Since you explained what you meant, I think I misunderstood (or misread it in haste).

Most of my gfs are either married or in LTRs. And the singles don't live in Australia.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Purple-Haze,

We like our women feminine, that's the most important thing. Typically, to rise up the ranks in a corporate environment, you need to be cut throat, play the political game, etc...these are not attractive traits for a woman.

Men don't care about money, or a high education, they care about the elitist attitude that comes with it. No man wants a woman who thinks she is "above" him.

 

[Purple-Haze]

Purple-Haze,

We like our women feminine, that's the most important thing. Typically, to rise up the ranks in a corporate environment, you need to be cut throat, play the political game, etc...these are not attractive traits for a woman.

Men don't care about money, or a high education, they care about the elitist attitude that comes with it. No man wants a woman who thinks she is "above" him.

Yes, typically one does have to be fairly cut throat, etc. to make it in the corporate world. However, success isn't exclusive to the corporate world, right?

I know women who are doing very well for themselves (read: they are good at what they do, respected for it and make a healthy living) and they possess very feminine qualities (they embrace their femininity).

Would you say that the IDEAL partner is a mix of one who is self-sufficient (so she makes her own money and enough of it to live comfortably, save, etc.), but also one who values your masculinity (is respectful of you, doesn't belittle you , etc)?

 

[Warrior74]

Purple-Haze,

Men don't care about money, or a high education, they care about the elitist attitude that comes with it. No man wants a woman who thinks she is "above" him.

you almost got to the crux of this matter. Which is the inverse. No woman wants a man she feels she is 'above'. I know several women like this...they cannot find a single male who is on their same level or above. These women runtheir own companies and make great money, but they will not a date a man who is not on their level or above. It's just not going to happen for them. So they approach their mid 30s alone. One of them even told me she "needed a wife" which just turned me right off. I told her to start diking asap. That didn't go down well.

 

[jophil28]

I was referring to the bit about a woman who devotes her time to maintain her LTR (to the detriment of other areas of her life). From my experience (and that of my friends), a woman who does this is walked all over (she identifies herself through the R and ends up driving the guy away).

You ever heard of a "devoted wife" - this is the woman who places her relationship/ marriage above all else .These are the women of numerous previous generations who successfully raised children and were a true and equal PARTNER to their husbands. They were honorable and decent, and you are now trying to tell me that these women were "walked all over " as an inevitable consequence of their devotion ..These LADIES were content and COMPETENT in their roles and respected by their husbands and in turn were respected and loved by their families - that is until the feminists mouthed off about being them being "oppressed" .

Tell me PH, do you have a man who respects you, and children who love you because of your generosity and devotion. Previous generations of women did have that because they EARNED these rewards through effort,committment and dedication. That is what women like YOU lack - you want all the rewards without the effort because you have bought the line that you are "entitled" to whatever you want just because you want it. The reality is that you are only entitled to the life that you create and that applies to your LTR/marriage OR your career.
You are NOT the prize that you love to believe, and you are not "entitled" to have a relationship "provided" for you like you are on one long date. A relationship is not a gift that a man gives to a woman on a silver plate.

There is no magic carpet ride, lady.

All i read from women like you is some whiney crud about how men are pigs who dont text often enough .
You have made men the ENEMY because Cosmo told you to do so.
DO you wonder why we don't want to sign on for a tour with you .

Dump your self-centeredness and start to GIVE of yourself to a man and you will get it all back tenfold, but I doubt that you will. It is just easier to whine about "no good men" .
There is an abundance of good men out there - we are just avoiding women like you who have that "feminist" taint.

 

[Mr.Positive]

also one who values your masculinity (is respectful of you, doesn't belittle you , etc)?

but also one who values your masculinity (is respectful of you, doesn't belittle you , etc)?

Purple-Haze, you have some good points, but I have to disagree with you here.

Respect has nothing to do with masculinity. Respect is something that all people, men, women, should have.. When you respect someone, you value them, you value your time with that person, and if a woman respects her husband..she places HIS value above that of a career, wealth, etc.

And likewise..a husband should have respect for his wife, and place his wife, and family above everything else.

Somehow, it's viewed that if a wife respects her husband, it's a bad thing..like she's making some huge sacrifice. Wives and husbands should respect each other...that's normal, healthy, and makes for a happy marriage.

Argh..I guess I'm old-fashioned.

 

[Purple-Haze]

You ever heard of a "devoted wife" - this is the woman who places her relationship/ marriage above all else .These are the women of numerous previous generations who successfully raised children and were a true and equal PARTNER to their husbands. They were honorable and decent, and you are now trying to tell me that these women were "walked all over " as an inevitable consequence of their devotion ..These LADIES were content and COMPETENT in their roles and respected their husbands and in turn were respected and loved by their families - that is until the feminists mouthed off about being them being "oppressed" .

Tell me PH, do you have a man who respects you and children who love you because of your generosity and devotion. Previous generations of women did have exactly that because ther EARBEN thes rewards through effort and dedication.
All i read from women like you is some whiney crud about how men are pigs who dont text often enough . You have made men the ENEMY because Cosmo told you so. DO you wonder why we don't want to sign on for a tour with you .
Dump your self-centeredness and start to GIVE of yourself to a man and you will get it all back tenfold.

Sigh.

jophil, you are preaching to the choir. Those women I spoke of in my previous post are "walked all over" by their men because they have NO identity outside of their relationship to the man. She sits and waits for him, she dotes on him and clings to him throughout the day. This woman EXCEPTS him to complete her.

I personally value and cherish the notion of marriage and the beauty of the marital relationship. My grandmother and mother have taught me the value of respecting your husband and playing your role as the nurturer.

You make many assumptions about me that I find laughable. Your experience with certain women has jaded you so that you cannot see past it. So let me try to change the observation you've made of me thus far.

I am a devoted daughter and loving gf. Despite the insanity of my ways at times, I do aim to be the best mate as possible. I do this out of love and devotion FOR HIM. I want to be his wife one day and to respect him for the man that he is. I see nothing wrong with this. In fact, I identify with the values of my grandmother's generation (i.e. cooking for him, tending to his needs, not challenging his masculinity, etc). However, I have taken some things from my current generation as well (i.e. respecting myself and loving myself so that I can be the best daughter and mate, using the resources available to me to better myself academically, spiritually, etc.).

You see, I do not reject the male-female dynamic. As I've said many times, I EMBRACE it with an open heart and an open mind.

And for the record, I do not read Cosmo. I've never picked up a copy. I also do not text message (the first time I learned to text message was last summer - something which happened out of necessity).

Not everyone hates men. And I am not the exception. There are MANY women like this. You just need to open your eyes and your heart long enough to listen.

 

[Purple-Haze]

Purple-Haze, you have some good points, but I have to disagree with you here.

Respect has nothing to do with masculinity. Respect is something that all people, men, women, should have.. When you respect someone, you value them, you value your time with that person, and if a woman respects her husband..she places HIS value above that of a career, wealth, etc.

And likewise..a husband should have respect for his wife, and place his wife, and family above everything else.

Somehow, it's viewed that if a wife respects her husband, it's a bad thing..like she's making some huge sacrifice. Wives and husbands should respect each other...that's normal, healthy, and makes for a happy marriage.

Argh..I guess I'm old-fashioned.

Well respect is a very general term - I was narrowing the scope for the sake of this particular thread (because we are discussing the power dynamic b/w a successful woman and her man - inevitably, the discussion turns to her income potential, security and her treatment of his masculinity as a result of this perceived power imbalance).

A wife SHOULD respect her husband. If she doesn't, that marriage is doomed.