I think the whole point OP is describing is based upon mate selection for relationships, LTRs, marriage, etc. I don't think much has changed with respect to casual sex, if anything it's easier than ever before. It doesn't take much now to stand out among the crowd of overweight men, soyboys, redditors/simps, antisocial coomers, etc. Seriously, almost every woman I'm with comments on how she's so relieved I say or do x, for instance, how guys won't choke, slap, spank, dirty talk, hair pull, etc.
With regards to relationships, this is a different story. I have started paying attention the couples I see in public, in addition to the relationships I see my friends and others get into. I have long suspected that most modern women simply do not want to be with a man that they cannot control. Most women will only cave to a top 1% man, but because he has so many options that it's highly unlikely he'll stick with her when she does the same horseshvt every other women does. So I do think OP is correct that most women, with regards to mate selection for relationships, either want a pure simp they can walk all over, or a rich man who can provide her with a luxurious lifestyle.
Ergo, I can see why being an above average, or even exceptional man could be unappealing to them because you're too high value for them to feel secure and comfortable, but not high value enough to completely hijack their hypergamy.