women are not YOUR protector

[ketostix]

no she won't. unless of course she met you when you had depression and doesn't mind the fact.

or unless she herself has no options.

but you take any attractive woman and if her man goes south on her with depression, anxiety, AFCdom, etc. - she will be out the door within a year.

i'm flabberghasted that you guys think otherwise.

i dont think this means women are mean, or bad, or any of that. its just a reaction they have. they are looking for a protector, NOT for a man who needs protecting.

you guys can believe otherwise but its totally against what goes on in the real world.

she might want to be there. she might agonize over leaving. she might be the nicest kindest person in the world. but if her man falls apart and she ends up having to be the one who be the leader - its only a matter of time until she leaves.

i'll say it again. when it comes to your 'rock' it can be a priest, a psychologist, friends, an ideology, a hobby, a thousand different things - but if its your woman you are in deep trouble eventually.

women RUN from men with problems. no woman wants to go out with some guy who is depressed. but sometimes a guy has his sh*t together, then only later into the marriage gets depressed, and guess what, after dealing with it for a few months she starts thinking 'gawd, why am i putting myself through this? I always dreamed of a man who would lead us in life, not some guy who can't cope with life."

look, women are fantastic, but they are seeking providers / protectors. a man who fails to be this, much less actually asks requires his woman to be this, is doomed.

its the same as a woman who gains 30 pounds and stops wanting sex. an attractive man who gets attention from women will most likely leave her after a given amount of time.

i think people are good. i think women are good and men are good. but when it comes to relationships, things get tricky and there are demands and behaviors that must be meet in order for a two human beings to make a go of it in the long run.

expecting your woman to be the protector is not one of them.

I agree with you Joekerr. But I still think this is more about women are not providers. Also I think women are suppose to be by nature nurturing/caring but most of them are not.

 

[joekerr31]

oh and the legs versus depression thing.

if you lose your legs but still ACT like a man, then she will stick around. women are great that way.

hell, you could be in a fire and have your whole body burned up and look like a monster and she'd stick by your side.

but when a woman will leave you is when you stop being a man. when you expect her to be the man, the protector, etc.

there are two things that for women are like garlic to a vampire....

1) a man with low / no earning potential
2) a man who is emotionally unstable (depression, anxiety, extreme introvertness, etc.)

you remember Rocky's wife in the movies Rocky. i forget her name. anyway, she would hardly talk. but even an extreme introvert woman will get male attention.

but you have a guy who is that introverted and women RUN from him.

women will accept just about anything, but the two things they will not accept is a man with no job or who is a sissy.

fair or not, that IS how it is.

 

[ketostix]

Now you aren't really talking "down and out", and you are talking a real issue not being dealt with (if its going on for a year+).

And you are right, many people WILL leave you, if you aren't helping yourself. That goes for both genders.

You mean a woman won't stay long unless the situation improves for her.

 

[iqqi]

I agree with you Joekerr. But I still think this is more about women are not providers. Also I think women are suppose to be by nature nurturing/caring but most of them are not.

For some reason I hear everything you say today, with a thick gay accent. I HAD to tell you, cuz its kinda funny! Especially what you just said here, in that accent.

 

[ketostix]

there are two things that for women are like garlic to a vampire....

1) a man with low / no earning potential
2) a man who is emotionally unstable (depression, anxiety, extreme introvertness, etc.)

you remember Rocky's wife in the movies Rocky. i forget her name. anyway, she would hardly talk. but even an extreme introvert woman will get male attention.

but you have a guy who is that introverted and women RUN from him.

women will accept just about anything, but the two things they will not accept is a man with no job or who is a sissy.

fair or not, that IS how it is.

This is so true a man has to be a provider and he has to have an outgoing personality. Women don't have to have either of those things to get and keep a some guy.

 

[ketostix]

For some reason I hear everything you say today, with a thick gay accent. I HAD to tell you, cuz its kinda funny! Especially what you just said here, in that accent.

I think you're losing your mind.

 

[jophil28]

If a chick stays with you when you lose both legs, she is going to stick with you through a bout with depression.

Wrong, ICKY !! JoeKerr's assertion is true.
If a man loses his legs in an auto accident or gets sucked into a compacter then that is one of life's "bad luck" events. Some women will not stay with such a man but many will. Most women are likely to stand by him because he can still function intellectually and provide leadership, albeit limited.
However is he slips into psych problems and his ability to function is impaired to the point when he cannot lead, make decisions, and protect, then most women regard will him as broken,weak, and "of no further use" .
It gets worse. a lot of women would silently hold him responsible for his condition and see him as "too weak to resist" his mental disorder..he is no longer "up to the task" or he does not "measure up ".
My observation and my experience is that most women regard their man as a substitute for daddy. He is burdened with the unspoken tasks of sorting, fixing, paying, rescuing and repairing.
When a man is incapable of performing his "tasks" he is seen at a failure (to her requirements)'
This is why women sometimes appear so callous and turn nasty when their man become ill, depressed or emotionally unstable.

 

[iqqi]

Hmmm, I don't see that happening in real life hardly ever.

 

[joekerr31]

jophil, you got it man.

the general assertion that women will stick by their man is merely feminist propoganda. its the desire to appear noble and virtuous.

and heck, some women would stick by their man.

but notice how iqqi's statements are ...

thats bs. a woman would stick by her man. unless it went on for a year. unless they weren't helping themselves. etc.

well these are all very subjective terms. what does not helping himself mean? i'll tell you what it means - if he ain't better then i'm outta here.

you take some dude, with an attractive wife. give him depression. put him on meds, stick him in counselling, fast forward a year. he's still depressed. no one can figure out why but they hope that eventually if they keep switching up the meds they will find the answer.

part of being depressed means that he isn't able to shower his wife with attention. he may not feel up to sex. his job might suffer. etc.

now, he's 'trying' to get better.

but ill tell you this much, most women DO NOT have the fortutide to stand by their man when he sinks that far into hell. a week fine. a month maybe. but a year?

99% of them are out the door.

because the one thing a woman simply will not live with is a man hitting rock bottom. THEY RUN.

iqqi says wheres the proof? i know men who this has happened to. i know probably 20 of them. and i can only think of ONE where the woman stood by his side during it all. and no offense to her, but she is very overweight and wouldn't have other options regardless.

i just think its pure folly for anyone to argue that women are in any way accepting of a man who is emotionally weak / unstable. if they are unstable in terms of anger that's fine, because its an alpha trait. but unstable in terms of depression for instance, give me a break.

 

[ketostix]

Heck Joekerr, probably upwards of 50-60% of women leave the man in a LTR or marriage for basically little reason besides finding a bigger, better deal. How can there be any argument with most women will leave a man if he's financially or emotionally down?

 

[joekerr31]

Heck Joekerr, probably upwards of 50-60% of women leave the man in a LTR or marriage for basically little reason besides finding a bigger, better deal. How can there be any argument with most women will leave a man if he financially or emotiuonally down?

i agree. but thats iqqi's argument. she thinks that most women will stand by their man.

maybe in 1960.

not today.

 

[iqqi]

i agree. but thats iqqi's argument. she thinks that most women will stand by their man.

maybe in 1960.

not today.

No, I never once said most.

I agree maybe most would not have that kind of integrity, most men wouldn't either.

But I disagree strongly with all your hot-air percentages as well.

I stick with the age old saying "a good man is hard to find" and for you guys, "a good woman is hard to find", too.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

*raises hand*

My ex is proof of this thread.

She laid down the reasons for breaking up saying "you're going from job to job. You're depressed about a lot of things, etc."

Later after the break up she said she regretted it. "I just lined all of your problems in a row and that wasn't right" she told me. AFTER the break up she tells me this, mind you. If she knew it wasn't right lining all of my "problems in a row" I still don't think that would have changed her actions.

Icky, go out and see the world for what it is. The majority rules in this case.

 

[iqqi]

Your ex is proof that you need to better qualify who you choose to love

She's that piece of work who told you how her new man (who she left you for) had a er... small appendage, correct?

Lets not tie this thread up with THAT soap opera.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Hm.. Maybe I should turn gay then.

Edit: Let's not be throwing that in my face now ok? I doubt she wanted anyone else besides me to see that. lol

And hey. I didn't bring that up. You did.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Your ex is proof that you need to better qualify who you choose to love.

Proof..right here. Iqqi, is in fact, a woman. Iqqi just managed to place thunder's breakup as being all..his..fault. His ex, of course, did nothing wrong.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Not only that, Positive, she just doesn't like my ex. Period. I think she's kinda jealous. ^_~

 

[iqqi]

Proof..right here. Iqqi, is in fact, a woman. Iqqi just managed to place thunder's breakup as being all..his..fault. His ex, of course, did nothing wrong.

Yes.

He needs to take responsibility for his choices.

He still isn't learning his lessons, as he is STILL involved with said chick. He'll be back here sooner than later, crying his little eyes out...

BUT HE KEEPS IGNORING THE SIGNS THAT SHE IS A LOWDOWN H0!!!

Too bad you had that thread deleted, TM. Sometimes it is GOOD to be able to go back and review your mistakes.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

I'm asking you to drop it, Icky. Now.

 

[iqqi]

Ok!