Woman asked me how come I never texted her when I got home from our date.

[Mazer]

Please understand that this is a no response. When a woman says I'll think about it ... it means no.

She's saying this because you didn't make up and make firm plans and you scheduled Friday.

Unless you've sexed a woman and been out with her at least 3 times do not schedule a Friday/Saturday date.

Right now go silent and wait for her to contact you and then set a definite plan. " Hi babe, glad to hear from you. When are you free/available?

Her: I'm free Wednesday or Thursday.

You: Let's meet/I'll pick you up at 7pm on Wed/Thurs and we'll go to XYZ bar, wine bar, mini golf, my house/ your house, club, fun activity place.

Her: Okay! 7pm at (whatever you indicated) on Wed/Thurs

You: Solid/Cool/etc and make sure to wear that sexy black/dress/skirt or I want you to look sexy for me etc. (This part is about telling her to look good for you, a quasi compliance test/ interest test)

Update:

We went out on Friday for diner and drinks, she texted me early in the morning telling me that were on for tonight. I didn't respond to her text for three hours, she ended up texting me AGAIN to see if we are still going out. I couldn't help but laugh to myself, I texted her back telling her I will see her at 9pm. she said okay great. Had dinner and drinks and we made out so it was a success, onto the next date.

 

[Brandonc662]

Update:

We went out on Friday for diner and drinks, she texted me early in the morning telling me that were on for tonight. I didn't respond to her text for three hours, she ended up texting me AGAIN to see if we are still going out. I couldn't help but laugh to myself, I texted her back telling her I will see her at 9pm. she said okay great. Had dinner and drinks and we made out so it was a success, onto the next date.

Why would you accept the date with her leaving you on the hook until the day of? Her REAL plans fell through, so you would do for a free night out... and you're talking about the success and the next time she can use you...

 

[djthiago1]

NEVER LIE TO WOMEN.
You should've played it funny. Maybe something like: "I read in a girly magazine that women liked to have space."

 

[Masculinity]

Just getting over oneitis from some woman, I came off too needy, probably drove her away so I went out on a 1st date with a new woman in her 30's last weekend. We really hit it off. I was following the advice of some members on here to not text her to check to see if she got home okay from the date. Anyway, I waited three days to contact her to say hello and to set up another date, she responded with " why didn't you contact me to make sure I got home ok? This was the first time anyone has ever not contacted me." After receiving this message from her, I told her my phone died and couldnt find the charger. She said, "bull****, you didnt have time to contact me for three days, I dont play games" At this point, I told her I had a nice time and lets set up a date this Friday. I have yet to hear back from her. **** test or did I mess up? I was thinking of giving her a call or should I forget about it.

If the woman loses her cool over a text message, you're probably better of without her. I think it's a **** test.

 

[Masculinity]

Update:

She texted me today saying she will consider hanging out on Friday now but she will let me know when the day gets closer. Women! haha I have to tread lightly with this one because she is in law enforcement and I dont want to get shot.

She's now leading the relationship. I'd say something along the lines of "maybe you're just too busy to hangout with someone and I totally understand. If I'm available Friday, I may consider it but I need advance notice to see if it fits in my schedule."

 

[bigneil]

My date from Thursday didn't text a thank-you so I haven't written to her, snapping a 16 day streak where she texted every day.

I will hold true to this rule forever. She has to thank me or no more dates.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You gents need to master finesse.

If she specifically asks you to text her when you get home, just do it. Why? It gets you off the hook. Then you go back to disappearing until you ask her out again.

It's a dance, fellas.

 

[bigneil]

If she specifically asks you to text her when you get home, just do it. Why? It gets you off the hook..

Twice in the past 3 months I've had dates ask this as I was kissing them goodbye. I hate that line. She is saying "Keep chasing me and keep paying".

In neither case did I text that night, and neither texted me. The first one was the LAST girl I will EVER break my rule for. I texted her back days later and she was just like "lol" then crickets. When I saw her again she hated me. The second one was my date Thursday, but I bought her $75 worth of dog food from the health store to help her avoid the vet, and she should have thanked me for that alone, nevermind dinner.

Most of my relationships these days end when I simply hold true to my principles, and I'm ok with that. This is a fundamental rule for me. Also, a woman with high interest won't let you get away that easily, even if she hates the rule.

Women must say thank you after a date.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Twice in the past 3 months I've had dates ask this as I was kissing them goodbye. I hate that line. She is saying "Keep chasing me and keep paying".

I generally go with keeping the fundamental principles of being consistent in my behavior and being a challenge. However, when things are her idea I typically will go along with it if it is reasonable.

So, if a date goes well and she specifically asks me to text her to let her know I'm home, I do it. If she doesn't bring it up, I don't.

I've come to realize that there are different kind of texts. This courtesy text is similar to the "thank you for a nice date text." It's not a chit chat text or asking her out again, so it doesn't go against the core principles.

 

[bigneil]

I generally go with keeping the fundamental principles of being consistent in my behavior and being a challenge. However, when things are her idea I typically will go along with it if it is reasonable.

So, if a date goes well and she specifically asks me to text her to let her know I'm home, I do it. If she doesn't bring it up, I don't.

I've come to realize that there are different kind of texts. This courtesy text is similar to the "thank you for a nice date text." It's not a chit chat text or asking her out again, so it doesn't go against the core principles.

Did you ever have a girl like you and you wanted nothing to do with her?

And she would do mental gymnastics to come up with some reason why you might actually like her? She'd say "I thought maybe you might be mad at me because last week I had a bunch of oranges and I gave my mom one but didn't think to offer you one?"

Given that, I tend to think that - even if we should have texted first after the date (we shouldn't) - she would find a reason to reach out anyway. Do you want a girl who would go on a date with you and never text you again after - ever?

 

[EyeBRollin]

Given that, I tend to think that - even if we should have texted first after the date (we shouldn't) - she would find a reason to reach out anyway. Do you want a girl who would go on a date with you and never text you again after - ever?

I'm not really sure what you're saying, but you're definitely overanalyzing this. A lot of chicks will not hit you up at all until after the 2nd or 3rd date. Sometimes their interest level isn't there yet, sometimes they are shy, or some of them simply refuse to chase men until they're smitten. These chicks can do this and still exhibit other more crucial signs of interests (i.e. Accepting and showing up on dates)

 

[bigneil]

I'm saying they have to text after the date or they never hear from me again.

I'm saying if her interest were high enough, even if I'm wrong for not texting, she would still reach out eventually.

 

[devilkingx2]

the fact that she sent that text means that she's either old school or traditional (probably only in the ways that benefit her) so you should expect to treat her like you're a gentleman caller, OR she expects you to be super invested from the first date for whatever reason, whether she thinks she's aphrodite and that any man who looks at her falls under her spell or if she's a virgin/clingy so she gets super intimate super quick

 

[EyeBRollin]

I'm saying they have to text after the date or they never hear from me again.

I'm saying if her interest were high enough, even if I'm wrong for not texting, she would still reach out eventually.

You're blowing leads. You know that right?

 

[bigneil]

You're blowing leads. You know that right?

I've dated beautiful girls since 1987, you know that, right?

I'm blowing leads with girls with low interest. You know that, right?

I'm tired of Betas here promoting texting first.

 

[Mazer]

Why would you accept the date with her leaving you on the hook until the day of? Her REAL plans fell through, so you would do for a free night out... and you're talking about the success and the next time she can use you...

At dinner last Friday, she asked me if I went out on any other dates this week. Before I can answer, she tells me that she had two dates last week lined up before we hung out on Friday night. I acted like I didnt care. It was a **** test, she backtracked and changed her story to that she was "talking" to two guys, she actually said, she was waiting for me. Not sure why she said she was waiting for me, when she is the one that told me that she would let me know if she was available on Friday as we got closer to the day. I laughed to myself. She obviously has high interest. She texted me when she got home and thanked me for a great night. I texted her three days later to set up another date and she responded immediately. I. have also reached out to two other new girls I met on Bumble. I am finding a hard time fitting all of these women into my schedule. How do you guys do it!

I also created another topic three weeks ago about my oneitis with a woman I was dating. Its so true the best way to get over someone is to date other chicks, but they have to be somewhat attractive lol. I am not completely over the old one but I am in a better place now with the help of this site and its members.

 

[marmel75]

Just getting over oneitis from some woman, I came off too needy, probably drove her away so I went out on a 1st date with a new woman in her 30's last weekend. We really hit it off. I was following the advice of some members on here to not text her to check to see if she got home okay from the date. Anyway, I waited three days to contact her to say hello and to set up another date, she responded with " why didn't you contact me to make sure I got home ok? This was the first time anyone has ever not contacted me." After receiving this message from her, I told her my phone died and couldnt find the charger. She said, "bull****, you didnt have time to contact me for three days, I dont play games" At this point, I told her I had a nice time and lets set up a date this Friday. I have yet to hear back from her. **** test or did I mess up? I was thinking of giving her a call or should I forget about it.

That three day rule is so done with...

However, here is what I know:

1) if she really likes you SHE will be the one texting you either right after the date or early the next morning...90% of the time.

2) 3 days is way too long to wait these days. Unless she is completely enamored with you. She thinks you aren't interested. That's how things work these days. Adapt or live a life of jerking off. However, her interest is lukewarm at best if you find yourself here...your goal is to ensure you end up in category 1 more times. No matter what you do here the odds wouldn't be inn your favor...there is someone else she is more interested in.

3) That was a really lame response to what she said. It may not have mattered anyway, you might have gotten to the auto-reject zone regardless but I would have told her I was busy and you aren't her Mom checking up on her.

 

[BeExcellent]

I'm not really sure what you're saying, but you're definitely overanalyzing this. A lot of chicks will not hit you up at all until after the 2nd or 3rd date. Sometimes their interest level isn't there yet, sometimes they are shy, or some of them simply refuse to chase men until they're smitten. These chicks can do this and still exhibit other more crucial signs of interests (i.e. Accepting and showing up on dates)

This gets to the most basic lead/respond interaction. I always say "Thank you" ON the date. Therefore I don't feel the need to send another Thank you via text. Granted I'm old school (according to @bigneil since I am pre 1975 vintage), and was raised that ladies don't call men because that is pursuing a man, or pursuit, which is the man's role.

But I'm raising my daughters this way as well...and I surmise that some of the men here with daughters are raising them the same way.

Don't expect women to pursue. If you like a woman ask her out. And don't wait too long or she may go stale on you. If she wants to go out with you, she accepts. On the date observe her behavior. If she says Thank you on the date, that counts as appreciation, no additional text required.

I like to see initiative in a man. Show some.

This girl in the OP certainly busted his balls about not reaching out, & OP's response was a lame lie which she called him out on. A lady would simply respond without creating drama.

I'm with @EyeBRollin here. Have some nads guys. Expecting women to pursue is passive. I don't like my men passive, so I sort for the men who reach out first. Then I respond and go on dates. This is what many feminine women do, even young ones, even in 2017.

Saying no more dates if she doesn't text is silly. Now if she wasn't thankful for the date at all in person?

That's different.

 

[LimaBean]

They never do.....

Sure they do, and the best women I've been with had qualities such as this. Thinking about not only themselves.

 

[bigneil]

BeExcellent is raising her daughters not to be obnoxious texters? Good luck with that.

Saying no more dates if she doesn't text is silly. Now if she wasn't thankful for the date at all in person?
That's different.

I disagree. Think of the man as her would-be employer and the date as an interview. You don't get to say thank you in person and not send a thank-you note (in writing) after the interview. The boss might not have heard you say thank-you.

It is common knowledge that it is bad practice (and often costs you a job) if you don't send a thank-you note after a job.

You might say I'm not her boss, but if I'm paying for dinner, that is the nature of the relationship.