Will I ever achieve my dream of being a DJ? Not in this lifetime.

[Viper]

Gah.. who am I kidding, oakraiderz was right, I didn't approach anyone. First of all, if a girl is walking in the hallway, it's hard to approach them, because they walk so damn fast, it would look damn stupid running up to a girl in the hallway, with a bunch of people in it, just to say "Hey, how's it going?". I wish there was a time when girls just stayed still for god sakes, moving targets walk too damn fast for me. Also, alot of the times when your moving in the hallway between classes, girls will be walking the opposite direction of you, girls are also in groups alot when walking in the hallways. Also, I'm sorry, I really am, but I can't get the idea out of my mind that I have to impress some chicks, especially those chicks who are really social and while not in the popular crowd, have a lot of friend. About band, I still can't talk to some chicks, because I'm afraid I won't get as far as I want in the conversation with the girl and won't be able to build a connection or rapport. So yeah, oakraiderz you were right, am I back here today and I am complaining, maybe I'm just a failed case, maybe I'm just different from everyone and don't have an enter Don Juan, maybe it's how I raised, during my childhood, I was a really shy kid, always seeked approval of others, was hardly ever happy and I was antisocial, that shyness may have helped making me the coward, AFC that I am today. I tell myself, "You're a pimp man, she can't turn you down." "Approaching 20 girls, that should be easy." "What do I care what other people think?" But no of those work, I'm still the AFC I've always been, I try walking up to chicks in the hallway, so I can tap them on the arm and get their attention, but usually they're in a group, walking to fast for me or my brain just tells me "No... I can't do it". It's almost gets to the point that I don't want to even approach girls, because I know I won't get as far into the conversation as I want to and I won't really make a connection with her. I am really considering stopping posting here, because I know everyday it will be the same ****. Go to school with a goal of approaching 20 girls, always paranoid that people won't like me, don't initiate any convos with girls in classes because I don't think I'll be able to build a connection, sit at lunch alone and if there's a girl in line I keep telling myself that I can get her, but in the end just never talk to her, come home, get on the computer and ***** some more on sosuave.

This thread is so dead.

 

[oakraiderz2]

Stop tryin to walk cause you cant even crawl yet. Start with making eye contact and holding it. Once you can do that add on a hi or smiling. Start with step one. Talk to me on aim- globaldistorti0n

 

[Viper]

Originally posted by oakraiderz2
Stop tryin to walk cause you cant even crawl yet. Start with making eye contact and holding it. Once you can do that add on a hi or smiling. Start with step one.

I've been doing both of these for a long time. I only smile when I talk to people though and of course I don't smile at people I don't like.

 

[Best friends? NAY]

Try having a goal of aproaching ONE girl instead of 20. THAT is your new goal, now go do it playa.

 

[StrangeButTrue]

I didn't read nearly any of the replies, and I read about half the original post before I got sick to my stomach.

Suck it up. Are you looking for sympathy? Pity? Nobody is gonna make the change for you.

But hey, it's okay- not everybody is cut out to be a DJ, to be a leader. Now go put some woman on a pedestal and be a follower while the rest of us lead our generation into the future.

Have fun shining my shoes.

If that doesn't get you motivated, nothing will.

 

[i am me]

Originally posted by Best friends? NAY
Try having a goal of aproaching ONE girl instead of 20. THAT is your new goal, now go do it playa.

Yeah seriously. 20 girls? I don't even talk to that many girls in one day. Why would you need to?

 

[Viper]

Originally posted by i am me
Yeah seriously. 20 girls? I don't even talk to that many girls in one day. Why would you need to?

Seems you've got a point. Well, there's this girl named Mary who I wanted to talk to in band this morning, but didn't because I was(and still am) afraid that if I goof up or say something or everyone sees that I'm trying to hit on her, but I'm failing, that they'll laugh at me or look at me strangely. I'm going to try my best to forget about everyone else and simply say "Hey, Mary, how's it going?", it sounds a little corny yes, but I'm going to try and push myself to do it. Also, I want to have more than just a boring conversation with this chick, I want to make her laugh, I want to see a smile on her face, I want to build interest and then finally go for the number close.

 

[i am me]

Originally posted by Viper
Seems you've got a point. Well, there's this girl named Mary who I wanted to talk to in band this morning, but didn't because I was(and still am) afraid that if I goof up or say something or everyone sees that I'm trying to hit on her, but I'm failing, that they'll laugh at me or look at me strangely. I'm going to try my best to forget about everyone else and simply say "Hey, Mary, how's it going?", it sounds a little corny yes, but I'm going to try and push myself to do it. Also, I want to have more than just a boring conversation with this chick, I want to make her laugh, I want to see a smile on her face, I want to build interest and then finally go for the number close.

It doesn't sound corny at all so don't worry about it. Also, I would be nervous too if I knew that everyone was looking at me while I talked to someone...but fact is, they probably aren't. And if you're SURE they really are, just find a moment where they're not paying attention. Your classmates can't be looking at you all the time.

One more thing, asking for a number may be a little too much for where you're at right now. You can if you want but I'd suggest not to since you're going to see her everyday anyway.

 

[08aisaac]

I got a questin for you, Mike.

Who's world are you living in?

Answer this right, and you win.

It's your world. One day, YOU WILL DIE!!!

Remember this. The best motivatin to get the balls to approach a women, is to remember that it is your world.

When you approach someone, try and remember, that you are letting them enter your world, not the other way around.

BTW, I got this inspiration from Weapons of Mass Seduction, by senor fingers, located in the bible.

I think my style matches up with his totally, and he is my hero.

But he knows everything there is, and he is especially a master conversationalists.

But even I have some bad times. Mental illness runs through my family, so that occasionally, I will suffer an immense depression. Like just today, like 2 hours ago, it was really bad. And I don't even have a reason to be depressed, it just happens. I mean I got it great, for the most part, and I know how to get any girl, but still.

Well this isn't what my post is about, it is realizing that you have to take the initiative, and realize that no matter what happens, you need to just do it.

It is your world, and you control it, in every aspect.

 

[Viper]

Originally posted by Mctwist4
Forget about girls for now Viper. No one on here is going to give you a quick fix that actually works. Your social skills are ****. You lack modivation. Stop caring so much.
Your new mission is to find out who you are. Not be someone who you think the girls at your school want you to be. And get some friends! Work on improving and learning to appreciate your own life first.

Yeah, you're right. I also care too much what people think and do think I'm a bit agressive. When these 2 senior girls, while HB's, cut in the lunch, in my mind I was like "Damn, I want to scream at those *****es so bad, just because they're in the 12th doesn't give them special privelages" and another time, when this aid who follows me around, who is a *****, ask me why I didn't have my instrument in band I said "You don't see anybody else with an instrument do you! TAKE A WILD GUESS!". I think I should just forget about these people in high school, they make me doubt myself, they're stupid and judgemental and talk about people because they don't have **** else to talk about, these people make me insecure about everything, how I walk, how I look, my posture and you know what? I'm done caring, I'm not going to be dealing with these stupid preps after high school. I'm not saying everyone in my school is like that, no, I have met some smart, non-judgemental people and there are people that I've never talked to or don't know anything about, so I can't judge them, but it's mainly the losers who talk about people behind their backs that make me "care" so much.

 

[SnatchJP]

Look, I haven't read much of this thread but I've read enough to come to one conclusion.

Viper, please don't take this the wrong way, but I think you should consider getting some counseling. My parents are both therapists, I've got some experience from them in terms of diagnosis, and I think you might have clinical depression.

Depression is treatable. I had it, I know what it's like, and I know it can be cured. It's VERY common in middle school and high school.

So if your school has a good counselor, try to make an appointment with him/her. If your school doesn't have one, or if you don't like the one they have, try to find another one. Talk to your parents about it, if that's something you feel comfortable doing.

Good luck.

 

[Smooth Player 056]

Originally posted by SnatchJP
Look, I haven't read much of this thread but I've read enough to come to one conclusion.

Viper, please don't take this the wrong way, but I think you should consider getting some counseling. My parents are both therapists, I've got some experience from them in terms of diagnosis, and I think you might have clinical depression.

Depression is treatable. I had it, I know what it's like, and I know it can be cured. It's VERY common in middle school and high school.

So if your school has a good counselor, try to make an appointment with him/her. If your school doesn't have one, or if you don't like the one they have, try to find another one. Talk to your parents about it, if that's something you feel comfortable doing.

Good luck.

Best advice ive heard on this thread........you need to forget about girls for now

 

[Viper]

Oh please, it is not that bad.
Symptoms of Clinical Depression please.
Look, just because I have a few self confidence problems and problems at school, does not mean I have clinical depression.
I mean really, nothing that I posted ever would of suggested that.

 

[Viper]

I looked up symptoms of Clinical Depression and let me tell you IT IS NOT THAT GOD DAMN SERIOUS.
• Persistent sad or "empty" mood - Being bored does not mean that I am in a sad or empty mood.
• Anxiety
• Irritability
• Unexplained crying - Nope, to tell you the truth, I haven't really "cryed" at all in a few years.
• Fatigue or unexplained loss of energy - No.
• Loss of enthusiasm - Yes.
• Memory loss - No.
• Unexplained weight loss or weight gain - No.
• Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping - No.
• Restlessness - No.
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions - Yes.
• Feelings of being in "slow motion" - No.
• Feelings of hopelessness - No.
• Feelings of pessimism - The **** is pessimism.
• Feelings of guilt - No.
• Feelings of worthlessness - No.
• Feelings of helplessness - No.
• Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities once enjoyed - No.
• Decreased interest in sex - Hell no.
• Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain - NO.
•Thoughts of death or suicide or attempted suicide - NO.

You guys are taking this MUCH more seriously than it is.

JUST BECAUSE I HAVE CONFIDENCE PROBLEMS DOES NOT MEAN I AM SAD OR SUICIDAL OKAY? Goodness.

No offense man, but that was a BAD suggestion.

I'm starting to lose interest in this thread completely, some of the suggestions(such as the clinical depression thing), are irrelavent to my situation, some people aren't reading more recent post, but only the read the first few pages or maybe even the first post, they don't think "Hmm.. maybe Mike's question was already answered in an earlier post or perhaps Mike's situation has changed!". I'm also losing faith that I'll get the help that I'm looking for and may just ditch this topic and search former topics for hints on overcoming my situation.

The only thing I think I'm really diagnosed with is "Caring about what girls and other people think" syndrome.

 

[08aisaac]

It wasn't a bad suggestion, because if you have even one of those symptoms, you might have more, and not even recognise it. Here's some inspiration for you to get up and get a chick.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=83101

Yeah, that's all dandy, but really, you have to realize it is all up to you.

 

[i am me]

You're losing faith in US?? MAN. We're giving you every suggestion we can. You're not using them. YOU don't even respond to most of the posts/suggestions here. I've read everyone of the posts but you don't seem to be listening. USE our suggestion or at least give us a sign that you're trying to use them.

BTW, you've sounded real irritable everytime someone's posted something you don't agree with. Isn't that one of the signs?

 

[Sammo]

Originally posted by Viper
You guys are taking this MUCH more seriously than it is.

JUST BECAUSE I HAVE CONFIDENCE PROBLEMS DOES NOT MEAN I AM SAD OR SUICIDAL OKAY? Goodness.

No offense man, but that was a BAD suggestion.

I'm starting to lose interest in this thread completely, some of the suggestions(such as the clinical depression thing), are irrelavent to my situation, some people aren't reading more recent post, but only the read the first few pages or maybe even the first post, they don't think "Hmm.. maybe Mike's question was already answered in an earlier post or perhaps Mike's situation has changed!". I'm also losing faith that I'll get the help that I'm looking for and may just ditch this topic and search former topics for hints on overcoming my situation.

*Takes moderator badge off*

Your hopeless.

- Person asks for advice.
- Person gets advice.
- Person complains about advice.
- Person claims the thread is dead.

What are you getting at? Not one of us here are being forced to reply to your thread, we are not employed here at sosuave to help people like you. They look at the thread and see your in trouble, a complete stranger, and they help you out and you start complaining about the relevance of the thread.

You keep asking for more advice and more advice and more advice. Do you think someones just going to post all the answers for you - NO! They are not going to just pop up.

You want advice? All right, where should we start.

Problem #1: Read the title of the thread. What does it say? Do you sense a lack of belief there? If that's what you think then of course your not going to get anywhere. Let me tell you now, you have so much potential. You become a man like no other. But with that kind of attitude your doomed to mediocrity. You really have to force yourself to enthusiasm and start doing things you want to be doing.

Problem #2: Shift your focus! Your too concerned on becoming a person that other people think are cool. You speak like i want to be 'that' guy, from another perspective. Take what you want and what you feel is right. Find out what YOUR ideals, beliefs, values, and ambitions are. Then focus on them and live under that frame that they in themselves become 'cool'. Girls will want to **** you, guys will want to be you, they will try to be like you but they wont be able to because thats just not them. Thats what your like now, trying to be like someone else. Find out who the better you is and be that person. What do YOU think is cool, lets start there.

That is enough to start with. You will probably not act on this advice and just ask for more and more advice while you wait for the magic advice that never going to arrive. Its up to you, not us, not anyone to change your life.

 

[Nexxus]

just been reading lol, anyways anyone who gets a high on something here might want to consider seeing a counselor or something like that, please be honest guys afterall noone has to know your answers

good luck viper

 

[Viper]

You're losing faith in US?? MAN. We're giving you every suggestion we can. You're not using them. YOU don't even respond to most of the posts/suggestions here. I've read everyone of the posts but you don't seem to be listening. USE our suggestion or at least give us a sign that you're trying to use them.

BTW, you've sounded real irritable everytime someone's posted something you don't agree with. Isn't that one of the signs?

Oh trust me I am listening. Alot of the post just haven't helped me and the one's that do help me, I have been listening to and replying to and trust me man, I would know better than you or any doctor if I was depressed, I'm bored and want something more out of life, but I'm not ****ing depressed.

*Takes moderator badge off*

Your hopeless.

- Person asks for advice.
- Person gets advice.
- Person complains about advice.
- Person claims the thread is dead.

What are you getting at? Not one of us here are being forced to reply to your thread, we are not employed here at sosuave to help people like you. They look at the thread and see your in trouble, a complete stranger, and they help you out and you start complaining about the relevance of the thread.

You keep asking for more advice and more advice and more advice. Do you think someones just going to post all the answers for you - NO! They are not going to just pop up.

You want advice? All right, where should we start.

Problem #1: Read the title of the thread. What does it say? Do you sense a lack of belief there? If that's what you think then of course your not going to get anywhere. Let me tell you now, you have so much potential. You become a man like no other. But with that kind of attitude your doomed to mediocrity. You really have to force yourself to enthusiasm and start doing things you want to be doing.

Problem #2: Shift your focus! Your too concerned on becoming a person that other people think are cool. You speak like i want to be 'that' guy, from another perspective. Take what you want and what you feel is right. Find out what YOUR ideals, beliefs, values, and ambitions are. Then focus on them and live under that frame that they in themselves become 'cool'. Girls will want to **** you, guys will want to be you, they will try to be like you but they wont be able to because thats just not them. Thats what your like now, trying to be like someone else. Find out who the better you is and be that person. What do YOU think is cool, lets start there.

That is enough to start with. You will probably not act on this advice and just ask for more and more advice while you wait for the magic advice that never going to arrive. Its up to you, not us, not anyone to change your life.

Force my self into enthusiasm? Tell me, Sammo how does one force himself to have enthusiasm? I would really like to do know.
Do you think its REALLY that easy to just figure out all your beliefs, ambitions, blah, blah, blah, also how would figuring these things out help me in becoming a better person? Also, I don't care if OTHERS think I'm cool, I want to become cool with myself, I want to have fun with things. Life to me right now is just, boring, school is boring, I find myself getting very tired during classes, not because I don't get enough sleep at night, but because most of my classes are just damn long and boring. Most of the times the teachers are boring, the material is interesting, but most of them teach it in a boring, uninteresting way and then they give us boring worksheets to work on. In most of the classes, I don't feel like I'm really learning anything either, I don't feel very motivated to finish classwork or do homework, I try very hard to understand what the teacher is saying and pay attention to t he teacher, but in the end, it's like everything goes in one ear and out the other. Even if a class has hot chicks in it its boring. Read my first post if you want to know how boring it is when I get home. So forget girls man, yeah, I hardly even care about girls anymore, I just want to be more confident about MYSELF and have more fun in my life.

 

[familyguyfan]

Originally posted by Viper
Oh trust me I am listening. Alot of the post just haven't helped me and the one's that do help me, I have been listening to and replying to and trust me man, I would know better than you or any doctor if I was depressed, I'm bored and want something more out of life, but I'm not ****ing depressed.

Force my self into enthusiasm? Tell me, Sammo how does one force himself to have enthusiasm? I would really like to do know.
Do you think its REALLY that easy to just figure out all your beliefs, ambitions, blah, blah, blah, also how would figuring these things out help me in becoming a better person? Also, I don't care if OTHERS think I'm cool, I want to become cool with myself, I want to have fun with things. Life to me right now is just, boring, school is boring, I find myself getting very tired during classes, not because I don't get enough sleep at night, but because most of my classes are just damn long and boring. Most of the times the teachers are boring, the material is interesting, but most of them teach it in a boring, uninteresting way and then they give us boring worksheets to work on. In most of the classes, I don't feel like I'm really learning anything either, I don't feel very motivated to finish classwork or do homework, I try very hard to understand what the teacher is saying and pay attention to t he teacher, but in the end, it's like everything goes in one ear and out the other. Even if a class has hot chicks in it its boring. Read my first post if you want to know how boring it is when I get home. So forget girls man, yeah, I hardly even care about girls anymore, I just want to be more confident about MYSELF and have more fun in my life.

You are fucking hopeless, and helping you is a waste of all of our time because you don't do shit about it. You are overly confused with everything, it is utterly AMAZING how much you have contradicted yourself on everything you have said. Let's count a few of them, shall we?:

- Say you have a problem with caring what other people think of you, then in this very post I'm quoting you say you don't care if others think you're cool
- Say you don't have any problem just going up to a girl and saying hello (you excuse yourself from not doing it by saying it's a waste of time because you only want an actual conversation), then in another thread (the one by Phat) he said he finally went up to a girl and said Hi, and you said that was a step above you
- Say you don't care about having friends at all, only getting girls, but then in this post you say you don't care about girls
- Say you're out of shape and ugly with no style, then say you're good looking and your looks are the last of your concerns

That's just a few of them. I'm sure (I hope) a few of them, like your style and looks, are just that they've changed and now you have good style and a good opinion of yourself. If that's true, then that is fantastic and is a big step in the right direction. Unfortunately, based on most of your posts and your general negative attitude, I find it hard to believe that that's the case.

And don't give us any more of this BS about how you've been using some of our advice. You obviously haven't. I'm sure you've read it and may have liked some of it and thought about using it, but you haven't actually USED any of it. You just think about it. Well that's not going to do you any good. Why not use it? You can't use your fear of being rejected/laughed at as an excuse because as you've told us, you don't have much lower to go on the popularity chain. So why not actually use our advice and try and go up a bit? Then there's the factor that about 85% of the GOOD advice that has been given to you, you turn your nose at, since they don't meet your unnecessarily high standards. You just say "Oh that would never work" or "That would sound corny or awkward" and ignore it. Well, guess what pal, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You have no social skills. The ones telling you what to say to people and how to go about approaching them do. They have a MUCH better idea of what is corny and what isn't. So don't go telling people with much better social skills than you that their advice is crap and wouldn't work for you. How do you know if you never try any of it? Get off your ass and do something about your situation if you want to change.


And lastly, although I'm not a doctor, I hate to bust your bubble, but you really do have several symptoms of depression. My brother used to be depressed and you exhibit many of the same symptoms he did. And before you start getting all flustered and angry, it's nothing to be ashamed of. We're not making fun of you or saying you're bad if you truly are depressed. We're trying to HELP you. And yes, one can often times tell if they are depressed or not, but many people can just be in denial. Contrary to what you said, a doctor DOES have a much better idea of whether or not you're depressed than you do. You're only kidding yourself if you say your only problem is boredom. You have anxiety with other people, lack of enthusiasm and motivation, irritability, etc. If you were going out and actually attempting to use the advice that we are giving you, I would completely write this idea off, but you just don't seem to be motivated enough to make any progress.

I'm sorry if that was harsh, but you really need a wake up call. Though none of us know your actual life, we know what we're talking about, and we can give you better advice than you can give yourself. We've all been there before and have either been where you are now, or have managed to avoid it by doing certain things. Though only YOU can make the change, we can help provide you with necessary tools so that you can actually make that change. So don't just go writing all of our advice off as crap and getting angry. It's not going to get you anywhere.