Wife attempted suicide, what do I do now? Please help

[way2smart]

My wife has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. She can't fall asleep because she is afraid of some kind of shadows she sees out of the corner of her eye. She likely had this since she was a kid and she didn't tell when I was getting married.

She can't stay alone at home at night because she is afraid. She has panic attacks sometimes where she would shake uncontrollably and cry out of the blue. I also had to put all my phones on silent, otherwise she gets irritated because of notification sounds on my phone.

Today she made me oatmeal for breakfast but I took a long shower and didn't come out for 30 minutes. She food became stale so I made a comment about that. Then she tells me that I am never happy and I always find faults with her and her food. I tried to persuade her that it's normal for a man to be constructive and say something negative sometimes. However she went to bedroom and kept crying for 30 minutes, then she gets up and grabs a knife and just before she tried something, I pried the knife out of her hands.

What do I do now? Divorce is the first thing that comes to my mind, but I know that she will kill herself if I leave her. Also I don't want to be a jerk that divorces without trying everything to fix this. I am married for 7 months after all. Please help

 

[Serenity]

Wow, that's extreme. I've been in a live suicide situation myself, it's traumatic to anyone. However you can't make her happy if she's convinced of things that keep her out of whack. It's not your fault if she kills herself if you leave, think carefully about this, it's not your fault. It's wrong on so many levels to feel pressured to stay, it will only tear YOU down. If you do leave and she does end herself you cannot in any way be held responsible, she has the full responsibility for her actions. These are things you MUST NOT forget, especially if you're going to try fixing this. You must be ready to pull out at any moment. It's also not your responsibility to "fix" her, if you don't feel like you're doing this on your own personal will then eject immediately.

What can you do if you're going to try? Find a professional, go by yourself first and be completely honest about the situation. You might have some struggles because of this as well, so it might not be a bad idea for you either. If the therapist knows the situation he might know of a way to involve your wife and give her some real help.

The choice is entirely up to you though, nobody (sane) will blame you if you choose to leave.

 

[Tamura]

She needs external help from professionals. You are no therapist and can't save her, not much you can do now apart from some patience. Probably she has a long way to go, if she will ever be cured at all.

What I ask myself, why do you find out after marriage? How long did you screen her? Others look more closely to a car or a house before buying it than you before sealing a bond for a "lifetime".

 

[Desdinova]

This is beyond the scope of this forum. You need to talk to someone who specializes in this. Look up some suicide prevention help lines, crisis help lines, etc. I would NOT suggest leaving her at this time. If you do plan on leaving her, get her somewhere safe first.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

What Desdinova said. I think we are all sorry, but this is too much for just "giving advice". Talk with her calmly and seek a proffesional. I hope everythings turns out right.

 

[fastlife]

What do I do now? Divorce is the first thing that comes to my mind, but I know that she will kill herself if I leave her. Also I don't want to be a jerk that divorces without trying everything to fix this. I am married for 7 months after all. Please help

You don't know this. She's holding you hostage with the most severe emotional manipulation possible (see oatmeal situation).

Next time you call the police--let her get committed 48 hours. That's a game you can't win and shouldn't play--don't let it become your problem or reinforce those behaviors or she'll continue to escalate. In the meantime, as others have said, all you can do is to try to get her professional help--inform her family. You don't get any points for sacrificing your emotional well-being for someone else.

 

[Tamura]

Just out of curiosity, is that the same girl that got pregnant from you last summer?

 

[Serenity]

Just read your previous thread from october, I think I'm getting a picture of what happened here and it's not good. I withdraw my previous statement, you have two choices. Start loving her and giving a sh!t, if you don't know how then learn how, do research. The other choice is to eject immediately, you're doing more harm than good.

After reading your previous post I can't say I feel sorry for you.

 

[way2smart]

Just read your previous thread from october, I think I'm getting a picture of what happened here and it's not good. I withdraw my previous statement, you have two choices. Start loving her and giving a sh!t, if you don't know how then learn how, do research. The other choice is to eject immediately, you're doing more harm than good.

After reading your previous post I can't say I feel sorry for you.

Why? Because She wanted to leave me and I didn't beg her on my knees to stay?

 

[way2smart]

Thank you all for your replies. Desdinova, I sought professional help, she was prescribed an antidepressant, however it's not helping. She has been taking it for about a month now. I don't know what to do, her condition is not getting better.

 

[Serenity]

Why? Because She wanted to leave me and I didn't beg her on my knees to stay?

That's extreme, who the fvck begs on their knees? You could have expressed you loved her and didn't want her to go, instead you just did the opposite which is not giving a fvck.

Would you think a woman who seems completely indifferent to your existence loves you?

People who threaten suicide in front of other people do it to get their attention, probably because all else failed. People who actually goes through with it usually do it alone. So why did she want to grab your attention? Why did she have to go to such an extreme?

Do you truly love her?

(Also, antidepressants doesn't treat the cause of depression, only occasionally the symptoms)

 

[Desdinova]

My ex who drove me here had anxiety, depression, etc. You can't just take them for professional help once and expect things to be fixed. This will be an ongoing problem for her whole life.

We have something in our city called the Mobile Crisis Unit. That number was on Fvcking speed dial while I was living with my ex. Next time your ex threatens suicide, call someone to take her away, even 911. If you want to leave her, do it while after she gets taken away. Move the fvck out, stop in to visit, let her know you're gone, and don't look back. Let the professionals deal with the consequences of your leaving.

 

[Bible_Belt]

My wife has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression.

That's putting it mildly. I'm thinking bipolar disorder as well. Whatever "professional" she went to, it sounds like that person just gave her an introductory level antidepressant and shoved her out the door. If she did kill herself after that, you'd have a good case for malpractice. Go to a new doctor. Ask to be evaluated for bipolar disorder. It's treated with different medications than depression, not to say she doesn't have both.

Now that we are done blaming others, you're an enabler. She wouldn't be with you if you were not. If she were not able to upset you with her drama, she would lose interest in you and find someone else. As long as she has these problems, she can only be with an enabler. That is the only future your relationship has, unless something serious is done to confront her problems.

 

[Skyline]

Get a cognitive therapist on the line ASAP. Cognitive therapy is basically finding the root of why she's feeling like that.

The anxiety can be helped by psychotherapy... You could do this yourself, because it's basically interrogating what she's feeling, but a professional would be better.

 

[marmel75]

This is a serious situation and I suggest you get professional help. This forum is not going to be sufficient in giving the support and or help you are going to need to deal with this

 

[Dingo]

Another thing to think about.... She can kill you before she offs herself.....

 

[penkitten]

And I'm thinking paranoid schizophrenia.

OP, this woman has some extremely serious mental problems. I'm talking about grabbing a knife one night and stabbing you or trying to cut your head off.

"Seeing shadows" is not indicative of just being nervous or anxious, and I think it's far above even having bipolar or BPD disorder. If she is seeing things that are not there, if I were you I'd conclude she has a very serious mental disorder and that she is capable of almost any kind of harm to herself or to you.

I would seriously consider physically removing yourself from this situation.

I agree 100%. My baby brother is a paranoid schizophrenic. The shadow thing leads me to believe that her psychosis level is very high right now. She needs to be correctly diagnosed in order to get the best medicine and treatment. Many people do not tell all of their symptoms to people and to Dr's because they don't want anyone to think they are crazy. People are misdiagnosed everyday.

 

[penkitten]

I believe schizophrenia is caused by a bad relay system in a person's head. They think a thought but the brain processes it so quickly that the person has not had time to process that it was in fact their own thought. They think they heard a voice when it was their own internal monologue. They see a flash in the corner or their eyes but don't realize how quickly their eyes moved and they believe something is going to get them. Think of it like your furnace and the relay between the thermostat to the conductor. Or like a timing belt on your car that jumps time.

 

[foreverAFC]

time to get a divorce ASAP before she kills you in your sleep or cuts off your penis

look at what happened to phil hartman, he was married to a crazy female and when he finally got the balls to tell her he had enough she blew his brains out in his sleep, this girl was ready to kill herself or someone else over some oatmeal lol

 

[WanderingMan]

My wife has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. She can't fall asleep because she is afraid of some kind of shadows she sees out of the corner of her eye. She likely had this since she was a kid and she didn't tell when I was getting married.

She can't stay alone at home at night because she is afraid. She has panic attacks sometimes where she would shake uncontrollably and cry out of the blue. I also had to put all my phones on silent, otherwise she gets irritated because of notification sounds on my phone.

Today she made me oatmeal for breakfast but I took a long shower and didn't come out for 30 minutes. She food became stale so I made a comment about that. Then she tells me that I am never happy and I always find faults with her and her food. I tried to persuade her that it's normal for a man to be constructive and say something negative sometimes. However she went to bedroom and kept crying for 30 minutes, then she gets up and grabs a knife and just before she tried something, I pried the knife out of her hands.

What do I do now? Divorce is the first thing that comes to my mind, but I know that she will kill herself if I leave her. Also I don't want to be a jerk that divorces without trying everything to fix this. I am married for 7 months after all. Please help

Divorce her and get a restraining order.

Why are you posting this bull**** on here?