Wife attempted suicide, what do I do now? Please help

[zinc4]

My wife has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. She can't fall asleep because she is afraid of some kind of shadows she sees out of the corner of her eye. She likely had this since she was a kid and she didn't tell when I was getting married.

She can't stay alone at home at night because she is afraid. She has panic attacks sometimes where she would shake uncontrollably and cry out of the blue. I also had to put all my phones on silent, otherwise she gets irritated because of notification sounds on my phone.

Today she made me oatmeal for breakfast but I took a long shower and didn't come out for 30 minutes. She food became stale so I made a comment about that. Then she tells me that I am never happy and I always find faults with her and her food. I tried to persuade her that it's normal for a man to be constructive and say something negative sometimes. However she went to bedroom and kept crying for 30 minutes, then she gets up and grabs a knife and just before she tried something, I pried the knife out of her hands.

What do I do now? Divorce is the first thing that comes to my mind, but I know that she will kill herself if I leave her. Also I don't want to be a jerk that divorces without trying everything to fix this. I am married for 7 months after all. Please help

First off....I had something similar to what she had before I fixed myself.... Mental issues like that can be the worst hell on earth...leaving her at thus time really would be cruel...

Has she done anything bad to you?????? Bad treatment I mean...

If not, then it would be low class to leave her right when it would fully break her. Get her professional help.

I used qigong meditation and longfist kubgfu from a good master overseas to fix myself. Whatever it takes....the right set of drugs will likely have to do the trick first.

At least help her get better or in a safer place before you leave or in professional care like others meant.

You shouldn't have to bare the brunt of her problems, but at the same time, do what you can to help.....you would want the same if the roles were reversed.... Trust me.

 

[salinechow]

Divorce her and get a restraining order.

Why are you posting this bull**** on here?

Because we are a community of people who attempt to care and come alongside our brethren in times when they feel like they can turn nowhere else or want to turn here before or after other venues of consideration.

You first statement was fine. Sometimes, short, harsh opinions are the best ones and warranted.

Challenging a member as to why he thought to share a very valid and addressable post is above your pay grade to consider or mention and should have been truncated.

 

[WanderingMan]

Challenging a member as to why he thought to share a very valid and addressable post is above your pay grade to consider or mention and should have been truncated.

Isn't that what you are doing now? Although a little more eloquently, but the message is the same.

 

[Asmodeus]

You need to put her in immediate psychiatric crisis care in a behavioral hospital. Suicidal ideation is considered a serious thing. There must be a behavioral hospital or a hospital that has psych services. Explain to the what happened. They cannot cure her, but they will watch her and provide some crisis care for her in this event until it passes and she does not show suicidal ideation.
You should divorce her, just for your own sanity. She will get depressed no doubt, likely suicidal too. I recommend dropping it to her when she is in crisis care in the behavioral hospital so that they can manage her depression and put her on suicide watch while she deals with the acute stress of the divorce and get set her up on some kind of therapy or support for when she is discharged so that she will have some kind of support structure to fall back on during the divorce proceedings.
Documenting her mental illness will also help you in a divorce case... Grounds for divorce insanity. Which can give you more power in the divorce process.

 

[salinechow]

Isn't that what you are doing now? Although a little more eloquently, but the message is the same.

In some respects, Touche.

 

[kronreiff]

I agree with Desdinova's first post as this being beyond the scope of this forum. To the OP, the only thing you should do is get her where she's safe and taken care of. For your own sanity, start spinning some plates as soon as possible and get on with your life. Good luck.

 

[Jaylan]

I didn't read all the posts....but how long did you guys date before marriage. If you date someone a good enough time, these serious issues aren't huge surprises. You have to take your time so you know about these things before heading into the deep end of commitment.

 

[Glumix]

However she went to bedroom and kept crying for 30 minutes, then she gets up and grabs a knife and just before she tried something, I pried the knife out of her hands.

What do I do now? Divorce is the first thing that comes to my mind, but I know that she will kill herself if I leave her. Also I don't want to be a jerk that divorces without trying everything to fix this. I am married for 7 months after all. Please help

As fastlife did, I would like to emphasize that you don't know if she will kill herself or not.

People who REALLY want to kill themselves never do that in front of others in my book. They just do it and the day after you'll learn they are dead. People who grab a knife in front of you and threaten to kill themselves only lack attention. It's hysteria, tantrum to an extreme.

My last plate cut her wrist in front of her ex 6 months ago. She is a mother of 2. Those people are crazy and need to see therapists. That is their suffering, not yours.

Anyways, as mentioned by other posters here, get her in a safe place with some people who can handle that. Try to help her doing that. Also call her parents if they are supportive. You cannot help her by yourself at this point.

Then just get out of that relationship. Put yourself in a safe place as well. You don't care about what other people will think. You do and did your best.

 

[El Payaso]

Send her to Arkham.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Divorce her. Recommend her a good therapist and move on.

This is a failed investment and it is wise to cut your losses.

 

[lion051]

Have you ever read 50 psychology classics? It's in audio and from as well, check it out. It will give you some insight as to what is happening with your wife and her condition. I don't know if you are religious or not but also read The Bible, the original psychology classic. Your wife may really have a damaged brain, or may just be a self absorbed drama queen (wait isn't that the same thing?). But seriously check out the book, so you can at least understand what is happening. Only then you can begin to solve the problem. Again the book is 50 psychology classics, you can find it on amazon or for free on the net.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Try to show her SOME love. I mean you can't just have her do everything and not do **** in return. Thats the thing about marriage, you guys should be a single entity so that you know each other so well to where she feels whatever you feel and vice versa. This is how you know you have perfect communication with each other. This may sound like a 'nice guy' thing to do, but she isn't a plate that you see once a week or so, you see everyday. You gotta give a little to expect some too.

If she ends up treating you like **** for doing the above, then fvck her, she's a leech who deserves to have happen whatever she does to herself.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Eject

If shes a psycho you could wake up dead, maybe you are the shadow she sees.

 

[amoka]

And I'm thinking paranoid schizophrenia.

OP, this woman has some extremely serious mental problems. I'm talking about grabbing a knife one night and stabbing you or trying to cut your head off.

And when she does, her only reward, then, would be 5 years in a mental institution because, even YOU knew she's mentally unstable.

 

[bigneil]

When someone tries to kill themselves they are 100% demonstrably crazy. Such people will just as likely take you with them. My policy is that when a girl attempts suicide or has, I end the relationship forever.

 

[devilkingx2]

You have the worst screening process in history if you managed to let all that stuff slip by you before 7 months into a marriage.

Give her one more strike, be supportive and try to get her as much help as possible. But be very clear that if she tries to hurt anyone ever again without good reason you're going to stay far far away for your safety.

 

[way2smart]

UPDATE:

Eventually, i had her hospitalized twice in a psychiatric hospital, because she tried 2 more suicide attempts.
She is with her parents now and apparently she wants to get back together.

She is still paranoid though, she thinks that I put her in a psychiatric unit intentionally(whatever that means).

I am really tired of all this, but then again it feels morally wrong to divorce a person when she gets mentally ill. But I guess I am looking for reassurance to divorce at this point.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I told you it was serious.

You have to ask both her and yourself, what has changed after all of this? How is anything going to be different? There needs to be good answers to those questions.

Honestly, I probably wouldn't divorce her; everyone else will disagree, I'm guessing. I wouldn't keep any guns in the house, though.

 

[KingBeef]

You can try to be there for her and assist her with emotional/mental support and help she needs. Again, whatever you do....DO NOT GET BACK WITH HER, AT LEAST FOR NOW. Be a good friend but nothing more. She's too unstable.

 

[way2smart]

Ok. I just read her facebook messages which she exchanged with her girlfriend.

Basically she was badmouthing me the whole conversation. She was saying that I put her on a psych ward for no reason.
She also told her girlfriend that "supposedly" my mom told me to put my wife in a psychiatric unit and I did that, which is completely false since I haven't spoken with my mother in a month.

She is very paranoid, she doesn't get that I did it for her own good, despite getting a bill for 30k.
2 Hospitalizations are expensive.