why should i pay-we hardly now each other-not even a date

[joe45]

ok on the topic of paying lets say u now a girl from off the internet and u chatted on msn for like half hr sometimes more or less-depending on the girl, all and all u barely still hardly now each other-so u ask her out for coffee to get to now her better

the thing is i had times when i meet the girl and we go up to starbucks counter and pay and she eyeing me with the corner of her eye(pretty much expecting me and wanting me to pay). i like ah i don't even now you and you don't even now me. hey its not even a date, jsut to meet up and see each other.

the thing is why should i pay even 5 bucks, i'm a student and i have worked before, i made like minimum wage or at times a little over minimum wage(which is like very little money)

do u thinks its fair that i should pay for her or not. i decided not to pay. and i don't. shes a stranger and its not even a date, but a meet up. i don't now her at all. and she doesn;t now me-why should i pay. she not a friend or anything ,but a online person i want to meet and see if any sparks for further meet ups

this goes for the same thing if for a girl i meet in class-i'm a student, we hardly now each other. and i ask her out to go get something to eat in dwtn-we bus out and she kind of expected me to pay-by her actions and look on her face. i mean this isn't even a date, its just hanging out. i wasn't even attracted to her or even liked her too much-we had not much in common at all. i just asked her to come along b/c i was borrrreddd. really needed to go dwtn to buy shoes, and asked if she come along for company.

 

[Effington]

The general rule is that whoever does the asking does the paying, especially at the beginning. I'd say at least 90% (and that's generously low) of the women I know would "next" someone for asking them out and then not paying, especially on a first meeting, and especially when it's a $5 cup of coffee, you cheapass. (Btw, what you describe does sound like a date) If you can't afford to get her a cup of coffee, don't bring her to a place that sells coffee.

 

[joe45]

the thing is i don;t mind paying for coffee , dinner ...etc or what not i have money just not a lot. i don't make much and i also am a student. i have bills to pay...etc i don;t have much for disposable income.

the thing is if i have to pay for coffee i don;t mind, but if it continues with me paying every date and we go out like 2x's a wk to movie, dinner, eat out, and what not-how can u tell shes really into you for you or not just using yoou for a freebies. it happen to a friend of a friend before. ya how can u tell ur not getting used and used jsut for the free meals and what not .

i mean u go out with a girl for lunch and u pay her part 20 bucks, dinner another time at 20 and then after that u pay for her movie too 15 it all adds up and if u don;t get a 3rd date, she not longer intersted or what not u just lost like 55 bucks on this girl it could be more or less. ok considering u don't make much haivng a p/t job as a cashier and student -that is money.
but if it was u just paid for her dinner once and the rest of the time she paid her own u just wasted 20 bucks or better she paid her own-u lose nothing

 

[Fred Da Head]

First, learn how to spell. Unless you're 25 making up for dropping out of grade 7, you should know how to write properly.

Second, if you can't figure out if a girl likes you, you have bigger problems than paying for a date.

Third, if it's that big a deal, suggest she pays for herself.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

The general rule is that whoever does the asking does the paying, especially at the beginning. I'd say at least 90% (and that's generously low) of the women I know would "next" someone for asking them out and then not paying, especially on a first meeting, and especially when it's a $5 cup of coffee, you cheapass. (Btw, what you describe does sound like a date) If you can't afford to get her a cup of coffee, don't bring her to a place that sells coffee.

I remember hearing that way back the general rule was that couples wouldn't have sex until their honeymoon. Thank heavens somebody decided to grow a pair and decided to do something different.

 

[Jerry Maguire]

Of course you reserve the right not to buy her a coffee, by all means.
Unfortunately you don't have the right to not be perceived as a cheap ass.

Small things like drinks, in my opinion, you pay for. Especially if you asked her along.
Meals and activities you can split.

 

[Mr Autobahn]

Or you can say that since this not a date, let's go dutch

 

[Kev07]

If you ask, you pay, if she asks, she pays.

You can keep telling yourself all that stuff about "i'm the catch blah blah" or whatever, but in the end, it's the other person who takes time out of their schedule to go out with you, and vice versa.

thought if she wants to pay for it, by all means

 

[penkitten]

the way i feel about it is simple, she met you off the internet and was asked to meet somewhere for coffee to see if the two of you were physically attracted to one another and to see if you really had common interests for future dating.

if she was interested enough to go for the meeting, she should have checked her wallet to make sure that she could afford the coffee. you see, you were still a stranger to her and did not owe her anything. you weren't asking her out to dinner and a movie. you asked her to meet up at a coffee house to get to know each other.
if she was interested in finding someone to date, then i think she could have found it reasonable within her budget to fork out what she needed to in essence of establishing something.

i also think it is silly with the prices of things these days to assume that only one person will foot all the expenses of entertainment. i never did go for that stuff. if i couldn't afford to pay my own way, then i would stay home for the evening and take a rain check. i never wanted to feel like i owed someone because they paid my way for the night.

you see, as some women try to use their sexuality for personal gain, some men are still trying to use their wallets for personal gain into that sexuality.

 

[movistar]

the way i feel about it is simple, she met you off the internet and was asked to meet somewhere for coffee to see if the two of you were physically attracted to one another and to see if you really had common interests for future dating.

if she was interested enough to go for the meeting, she should have checked her wallet to make sure that she could afford the coffee. you see, you were still a stranger to her and did not owe her anything. you weren't asking her out to dinner and a movie. you asked her to meet up at a coffee house to get to know each other.
if she was interested in finding someone to date, then i think she could have found it reasonable within her budget to fork out what she needed to in essence of establishing something.

i also think it is silly with the prices of things these days to assume that only one person will foot all the expenses of entertainment. i never did go for that stuff. if i couldn't afford to pay my own way, then i would stay home for the evening and take a rain check. i never wanted to feel like i owed someone because they paid my way for the night.

you see, as some women try to use their sexuality for personal gain, some men are still trying to use their wallets for personal gain into that sexuality.

Well said Penkitten, I totally agree. I'm also a Mitch fan[/SIZE].

 

[Nighthawk]

Whoever asks for the date pays? Since when do women ever ask for a date?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

..i also think it is silly with the prices of things these days to assume that only one person will foot all the expenses of entertainment. i never did go for that stuff. if i couldn't afford to pay my own way, then i would stay home for the evening and take a rain check. i never wanted to feel like i owed someone because they paid my way for the night.

you see, as some women try to use their sexuality for personal gain, some men are still trying to use their wallets for personal gain into that sexuality.

Pen, Gio is a lucky guy.

 

[aliasguy]

Whoever asks for the date pays? Since when do women ever ask for a date?

Yeah, I was just thinking that.

We approach, ok, we "ask," ok....... I have no problem with that. I ACTUALLY have no problem paying ... i don't really care.

BUT, if the "rule" is "THE ONE WHO "ASKS", PAYS," and we all know that the guy essentially ALWAYS "asks," isn't this equivalent to saying "the guy pays"?


Not saying that this is right or wrong, or that it's fair or unfair.

Just an observation.

(I pay all the time, anyway, stupid or not.)


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--

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Whoever asks for the date pays? Since when do women ever ask for a date?

That's what I'm talking about!! :rockon: It is so infrequent it's an anomaly.

And to add to Pen's statement of women using their sexuality for their own gain, here's an example. The majority of the time when a woman asks one of her girlfriends out, they split the bill; the person being asked pays her own way. Why should it be any different when it's a guy? Like Joe45 said, you don't hardly know one another. If women can pay their own way with their girlfriends, why shouldn't it be any different with a guy she's just met?

 

[Kev07]

Whoever asks for the date pays? Since when do women ever ask for a date?

Not just talking about women, but when some of my guy friends ask if i want to go kick it and get some sbucks or something, i let them pay for me, and vice versa.

or you could always just have women pay for the next date.


Don't think i'm preaching that you should pay for it, do what you want, i'm just speaking from experience when I was low on cash and i get asked out (by girl or guy) and it's sort of like "i'd go but shvt, im low on money"

 

[PerfectCircle]

Women will pay their way if they like you.

A man who whines about 5 dollars that he cant spend on a girl isnt attractive at all. Especially when hes already been lame enough to make his move over the internet, and was the one that asked for the.. "get together".

Seriously, You messaged this girl because u wanted to get some Action. Dont defend your petiness.

 

[iqqi]

Like Joe45 said, you don't hardly know one another. If women can pay their own way with their girlfriends, why shouldn't it be any different with a guy she's just met?

LOL. Cuz her girlfriends aren't trying to get in her pants.

Just saying.

 

[iqqi]

"get together" .

Seriously, You messaged this girl because u wanted to get some Action. Dont defend your petiness.

Yeah, all this "dude, just call it a get together so there is less stress" bullsh!t, is plain and simple bullsh!t.

Call it what you want, it is what it is.

 

[joe45]

sure its adds up. if u don;t make much , and doesn;t work out what happens u loose all ur money

20 here, 15, 25, 45, it all adds up i ain't rich. what does she give back in return, i went with girls for 2 months and go no sex either did i pressure em-we both live at home. school is $. why should i pay all time , i more into cheap activies like coffee, tennis, hiking, seeing bands play, ...etc anymore lol


i going start acting and looking like this guy, he seems playerish, and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5C_RpdaGqa8

 

[joe45]

sure its adds up. if u don;t make much , and doesn;t work out what happens u loose all ur money

20 here, 15, 25, 45, it all adds up i ain't rich. what does she give back in return, i went with girls for 2 months and go no sex either did i pressure em-we both live at home. school is $. why should i pay all time , i more into cheap activies like coffee, tennis, hiking, seeing bands play, ...etc anymore lol


i going start acting and looking like this guy, he seems playerish, and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5C_RpdaGqa8