Why is having a gf so looked down on this site

[womensview]

I think there is a downside to spinning plates for too long. I don't think it's just woman who lose their stickiness. I m a little ho hum on relationships. Knowing the nature of woman my expectations of the benefits are low and that doesn't provide a huge amount of incentive sometimes.

I can only suggest go with the flow till the right one comes along for u.

 

[The Duke]

I've had every kind of relationship possible(marriage, 2yr ltr, 5yr ltr, 3-4mo relationships, simple dating). The best deal I ever had was when I was simply "dating" with no label. I had the power, I could do no wrong, she put me on a pedestal, it was the most exciting, most fun, her behavior was the best. I rarely got asked where I was, what I was doing, or who I was with. I did whatever the hell I wanted. Answered to no one other than myself. It was the ultimate freedom.

I have several male neighbors that frequently come up to me and tell me how "they live vicariously through me". They all wish they weren't married/in a LTR. They see the freedom I have, they see I don't have to compromise or put up with somebody else's b.s. They all wish they were me. Like somebody said above, they are the weaker males. It takes a strong man to stand alone and go by himself.

The single life isn't for everybody and there are definitely pro's & con's to both sides of the coin, but its tough to give up that freedom and power. I can see the attraction of a serious relationship, but remember you will be forced to trade your freedoms/power in order to have one. Sometimes happiness is just a mindset....be careful what you wish for. Once you go down that relationship path with a woman it always leads to marriage, especially the older you get. And at some point, marriage won't be good enough for her. Its a game you won't ever win.

 

[womensview]

I've had every kind of relationship possible(marriage, 2yr ltr, 5yr ltr, 3-4mo relationships, simple dating). The best deal I ever had was when I was simply "dating" with no label. I had the power, I could do no wrong, she put me on a pedestal, it was the most exciting, most fun, her behavior was the best. I rarely got asked where I was, what I was doing, or who I was with. I did whatever the hell I wanted. Answered to no one other than myself. It was the ultimate freedom.

I have several male neighbors that frequently come up to me and tell me how "they live vicariously through me". They all wish they weren't married/in a LTR. They see the freedom I have, they see I don't have to compromise or put up with somebody else's b.s. They all wish they were me. Like somebody said above, they are the weaker males. It takes a strong man to stand alone and go by himself.

The single life isn't for everybody and there are definitely pro's & con's to both sides of the coin, but its tough to give up that freedom and power. I can see the attraction of a serious relationship, but remember you will be forced to trade your freedoms/power in order to have one. Sometimes happiness is just a mindset....be careful what you wish for. Once you go down that relationship path with a woman it always leads to marriage, especially the older you get. And at some point, marriage won't be good enough for her. Its a game you won't ever win.

Then remain single, the guys who envy don't know the other side of the coin.

 

[Tenacity]

Then remain single, the guys who envy don't know the other side of the coin.

I agree. If guys in LTRs or marriages aren't happy and envy single guys, then why don't the fvck you become single then? Live a single life and be a forever Bachelor, spinning plates until you die.

Makes no damn sense, yes, if you are married you will take some financial losses to get out of it. But life won't be over, at least you'll be happy again.

My question is, can a guy be in an LTR or married, but actually have a happy experience? Where he isn't tied down, pressured, stressed, etc? But instead he's actually enjoying life with a woman that helps hold him down?

Again I'm the biggest critic of this horrible market, but even I acknowledge that it's not this one-dimensional shyt like guys are painting.

I still don't get how PVSSY can be the only value a man over 40 looks for in a woman. That shyt is cool until you get into your late 30's, you look stupid doing that shyt at 48 lol.

 

[marmel75]

I agree. If guys in LTRs or marriages aren't happy and envy single guys, then why don't the fvck you become single then? Live a single life and be a forever Bachelor, spinning plates until you die.

Makes no damn sense, yes, if you are married you will take some financial losses to get out of it. But life won't be over, at least you'll be happy again.

My question is, can a guy be in an LTR or married, but actually have a happy experience? Where he isn't tied down, pressured, stressed, etc? But instead he's actually enjoying life with a woman that helps hold him down?

Again I'm the biggest critic of this horrible market, but even I acknowledge that it's not this one-dimensional shyt like guys are painting.

I still don't get how PVSSY can be the only value a man over 40 looks for in a woman. That shyt is cool until you get into your late 30's, you look stupid doing that shyt at 48 lol.

It becomes a matter of weighing all the pros and cons. I'm married and for the most part happily married, but with high T levels its pretty hard not to want to bang other women, especially when I know I could get them(and have gotten them in the past). My wife is an awesome woman and mother. I get sex pretty much whenever I want, cooks, cleans, does pretty much everything around the house. Rarely gives me sh!t about anything. Loves me to death and comes from a religious family, does not believe in ever cheating. She was also a virgin when she met me, so there is that big emotional factor at play as well.

Now, there are other things to consider. I have kids whom I love to death, and it's more of a priority to be in their lives and be their father than it is to bang random hot chicks. Although I still want to bang random hot chicks. Trust me, if you have high T levels that urge never leaves, and the higher it is, the more you have those urges and the harder they are to fight them. It's just the way males are. Don't kid yourself thinking you are simply going to lose those urges because you married a hot woman. You won't. I'd also be in a terrible situation if there was a divorce. So, with those two factors involved, I have been pretty successful at fighting my urges.

I guess what I am saying is that you have to make decisions in life that necessarily mean choosing those lead to missed opportunities with something else. No different than if you have two job offers and you have to choose one, meaning you can't choose the other. People have to do what is best for themselves, and make the decisions they need to make for themselves.

 

[Tenacity]

It becomes a matter of weighing all the pros and cons. I'm married and for the most part happily married, but with high T levels its pretty hard not to want to bang other women, especially when I know I could get them(and have gotten them in the past). My wife is an awesome woman and mother. I get sex pretty much whenever I want, cooks, cleans, does pretty much everything around the house. Rarely gives me sh!t about anything. Loves me to death and comes from a religious family, does not believe in ever cheating. She was also a virgin when she met me, so there is that big emotional factor at play as well.

Now, there are other things to consider. I have kids whom I love to death, and it's more of a priority to be in their lives and be their father than it is to bang random hot chicks. Although I still want to bang random hot chicks. Trust me, if you have high T levels that urge never leaves, and the higher it is, the more you have those urges and the harder they are to fight them. It's just the way males are. Don't kid yourself thinking you are simply going to lose those urges because you married a hot woman. You won't. I'd also be in a terrible situation if there was a divorce. So, with those two factors involved, I have been pretty successful at fighting my urges.

I guess what I am saying is that you have to make decisions in life that necessarily mean choosing those lead to missed opportunities with something else. No different than if you have two job offers and you have to choose one, meaning you can't choose the other. People have to do what is best for themselves, and make the decisions they need to make for themselves.

This might be a question that's a little OUT THERE.....but seeing as though your wife is supposed to be technically your soul mate, aren't you able to be 100% honest with her?

With that 100% honesty, can you go to your wife and tell her the following: "Honey, you know you are my soulmate and I want to be with you forever. But sometimes I want to fvck other women. Do you mind if we do some ultra freaky stuff with a 3rd person added?" The 3rd person would be the woman you want to fvck, and your wife might get off on it as well.

There are marriages and LTRs out there that function like this. Now granted, I'm not the most experienced guy with LTRs......I can tell a guy how to get laid and rack up plates, but maintaining LTRs isn't my strong suite (yet). But I don't understand why you guys have to HIDE your urges from your LTR/wife? Maybe she might get off on it as well?

It would be totally different than cheating, cheating is when you do shyt behind her back and lie about it.

 

[The Duke]

Then remain single, the guys who envy don't know the other side of the coin.

It's highly likely they don't....but I sure know what the other side is like, and there is a reason I do what I do. I like my money, power, and freedom. Its what this country was founded on. If there is ever an attractive woman that comes along and isn't a threat to those things then I'll sign up.

I do notice that a lot of guys who want to get tied down with a chic usually have more to gain(financially) than she does.

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

My time is valuable. Retaining a harem and securing a constant flow of new recruits takes time. Here is another downside to spinning plates.

 

[marmel75]

Delete

 

[marmel75]

This might be a question that's a little OUT THERE.....but seeing as though your wife is supposed to be technically your soul mate, aren't you able to be 100% honest with her?

With that 100% honesty, can you go to your wife and tell her the following: "Honey, you know you are my soulmate and I want to be with you forever. But sometimes I want to fvck other women. Do you mind if we do some ultra freaky stuff with a 3rd person added?" The 3rd person would be the woman you want to fvck, and your wife might get off on it as well.

There are marriages and LTRs out there that function like this. Now granted, I'm not the most experienced guy with LTRs......I can tell a guy how to get laid and rack up plates, but maintaining LTRs isn't my strong suite (yet). But I don't understand why you guys have to HIDE your urges from your LTR/wife? Maybe she might get off on it as well?

It would be totally different than cheating, cheating is when you do shyt behind her back and lie about it.

That might work with some women but my wife isn't one of them...

 

[Tenacity]

That might work with some women but my wife isn't one of them...

Then maybe you guys aren't compatible?

I'm not trying to be funny here but have you ever just thought deeply about this? For example, many couples practice the art of "swinging" every now and then. Where basically they "as a couple" fvck other people. I would say the vast majority of people CANNOT just fvck one person until they die, they will fvck somebody on the side. But due to societal pressures and religious B.S., this fvcking on the side will usually be done on the side, in the dark, without the partner knowing.

That's the problem in my opinion, because you aren't able to share that aspect of yourself with your partner. If a chick is your soulmate, then your SOUL out to be able to be shared with her...and vice versa. And if your soul loves her, but wants to also fvck another chick, then if you are compatible, why wouldn't she allow it from time to time in the form of "swinging"?

I said this before....but I believe the BEST LTRs that last the longest, are the ones that are the MOST honest with each other. The more of a "role" you play, or a "representative", or bullshyt like "managing the frame".....the higher your chance of failure in my opinion because nobody is being 100% HONEST.

 

[marmel75]

Then maybe you guys aren't compatible?

I'm not trying to be funny here but have you ever just thought deeply about this? For example, many couples practice the art of "swinging" every now and then. Where basically they "as a couple" fvck other people. I would say the vast majority of people CANNOT just fvck one person until they die, they will fvck somebody on the side. But due to societal pressures and religious B.S., this fvcking on the side will usually be done on the side, in the dark, without the partner knowing.

That's the problem in my opinion, because you aren't able to share that aspect of yourself with your partner. If a chick is your soulmate, then your SOUL out to be able to be shared with her...and vice versa. And if your soul loves her, but wants to also fvck another chick, then if you are compatible, why wouldn't she allow it from time to time in the form of "swinging"?

I said this before....but I believe the BEST LTRs that last the longest, are the ones that are the MOST honest with each other. The more of a "role" you play, or a "representative", or bullshyt like "managing the frame".....the higher your chance of failure in my opinion because nobody is being 100% HONEST.

You never are going to be 100% happy with any other person. That's just the way it is. There will always be things in other people that you wish were different. It's like trying to hire the perfect candidate for a job...no such thing.

So in the end you look at the overall balance sheet of positive and negative traits and you make a decision. Most days I'm happy with that decision. Some days I'm wishing I made another decision. But that's how it is in life with just about anything. Even when people love their job, there are days they wish they were retired...

 

[guru1000]

I am an LTR guy at heart. I view monogamy as natural and polyandry no more natural than murder or rape.

From a biological perspective, a fertile woman produces only one egg per month, which is encumbered by one sperm for nine months upon fertilization. The woman in those nine months cannot get pregnant by two different men concurrently. Conversely, in those nine months, the man's 25 million-daily-sperm production still runs rampant and this man could impregnate countless women. The young woman having a stronger connection with this baby also wishes to have a male father figure stick around for those nine months--as opposed to his impregnating countless other women who will also need him--and helping to raise the child whom she could never abandon (having conceived it). Thus, it is biologically unnatural for a man to be entirely monogamous with one young woman; but biologically natural for a young woman to be entirely monogamous with one man.

Hence, why history repeatedly shows men with multiple wives/mistresses, but not contrariwise.

Most monogamous relations for men today originate from psychological need and indoctrination from social/biblical constructs. There is nothing wrong with monogamy for the male, but it's important to understand from where/how the deep-rooted motivations for monogamy originate.

 

[guru1000]

Bastard, basket case kids raised by single moms is natural? I don't buy it. Ancient texts since the dawn of civilization describe the nuclear family, the norm in one respect or the other for 99% of mankind historically no matter the religion.

May not be advantageous for familial relations and civil cohesiveness; hence, biblical and social constructs to the contrary. BUT, it is biologically natural, yes.

 

[Tenacity]

It's natural for a guy to want to "spread his seed to more than one woman" but it's not natural for a woman to want to bring FORTH seed from more than one man. Thus, that's why you would see in ancient times one man having multiple WIVES (women who were exclusive to only him)....not multiple BABY MOMMAS who are sleeping with one broke/ex-convict thug and then sleeping with a CPA, bringing forth both of their babies.

 

[guru1000]

A theory of biology applied to sociological and economic phenomena.

EDIT: no one can deny the strong biological/psychological urges in both sexes to abandon monogamy, but we can't ignore human agency and the fruits thereof in determining what is "natural".

"Natural" originates from "Nature." That is, egg and sperm. All else are human constructs. Doesn't make one or the other "right" or "wrong." It just is. BUT, we must call a spade, a spade.

 

[guru1000]

Biology =\ Nature

Merriam-Webster defined:

Nature: the physical world and everything in it (such as plants, animals, mountains, oceans, stars, etc.) that is not made by people

All created not by human hand is Nature.

 

[guru1000]

Instead of citing contradictory definitions of Nature for the next few posts, answer this:

If we define natural as, "not made or caused by humankind," is biology a natural or unnatural process?

 

[guru1000]

LOL.

The contention was: Is male polygamy for the fertile male biologically natural?

I supported my point in Post 41. Any counter with facts?

 

[Poon King]

You are wrong about this, my husband chased me to marry him. I wasn't crazy about getting married. I didn't care less. It was his idea and he never let up. He was a man who liked to be married with security.

He sounds like a desperate faggot.

If you were in your early 20's when this happened you would of rejected this loser. And the fact that you married a man with no dignity says a lot about you too.