Why dont i aknowledge females?

[B0redandl0nely]

Girls are gross. That's why you don't acknowledge them

 

[Spaz]

It's a family gathering

The responses here is shocking !!

 

[Focal core]

@Focal core so im on my way to becoming a true alpha lol?

Alpha males are natural born leaders, u don't try to be an alpha males, they were chased by womens since millenia for just by being themselves, they are only 10% of them in entire world but face much more extinction nawadays, but u can you can learn to be masculine, their traits, set rules on relationship etc etc

 

[B0redandl0nely]

Alpha males are natural born leaders, u don't try to be an alpha males, they were chased by womens since millenia for just by being themselves, they are only 10% of them in entire world but face much more extinction nawadays, but u can you can learn to be masculine, their traits, set rules on relationship etc etc

That whole "alpha male" thing is bullsh1t. Yeah go to the gym, be a leader, set the rules and women will come to you. One, that doesn't always work for everybody like it doesn't work for people who are disadvantaged in some way. Two, who cares about women.

 

[Focal core]

That whole "alpha male" thing is bullsh1t. Yeah go to the gym, be a leader, set the rules and women will come to you. One, that doesn't always work for everybody like it doesn't work for people who are disadvantaged in some way. Two, who cares about women.

The things is they're always a leader without being a leader, that's where most guys fails, didn't understand the concept, why most of them fails to keep their frame.. No not everyone buddy.When you're being near one, don't ever think that you're in control, he is..not even the most alpha female will run over him.

 

[Focal core]

Not to worry guys, most females nowadays may attracted to the femine males potrait from the Korean drama, most intimidated to the masculine males.. So don't stressed up.. Lol

 

[zekko]

Let me offer an alternative. Is it possible you aren't comfortable around women, and that's why you were only friendly to the males?
If that's the case, I would suggest forcing yourself to greet the females as well, just to get used to it.

Personally, I don't see the point of ignoring the females. If they're family, they're family. And even if they're not all family, I think it makes more sense to talk to everybody, be friendly, and have fun, rather than filtering people out based on their gender. Besides which, I thought the school of thought here on the forum was to talk to more females, not less.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Women like to (pretty much always) bring Double-meaning to whatever you utter, so therefore, like Doctor Seuss, just say what you mean and mean what you say. Let her interpret it. Do not try to go with the trend phrases or say what's popular "lingo," just mean what you say and say what you mean. If a girl says, "Hey, I like that" (your tone, the actual words, your body language saying it - should probably be your most comfortable non-try-hard body language, you know comfortable in your skin "you've made it" "I don't Need anything, cause I've got my sh!t together" language, BUT people may say, "Oh, you've gotta have Enthusiasm!" to land the hot girl, well that may be true that you should be workin on all cylinders, but if you're just not an enthusiastic guy, then there will be a decent woman for you who Double-meanings what you say naturally and whatever comes to your mind. I believe this "mindset" and/or being is the alpha mindset, the I don't give a fvck mindset. It's almost 4 yr old to 5 yr old mindset. So after ALL these years of your "schooling" how to act how to be in a "professional" environment, you revert back to how you operated as a child, but if it affects your job, say white collar, then maybe you shouldn't/shant listen to me. You can make the fake life work as well, but you'll feel empty inside 70% of your day. I, in my teens/early 20s, worked in offices and I met a friend of my mom probably twice my age then who worked there tell me that he didn't like wearing ties, but it's just the way it is, he was a financial guy in a fairly high position, he'd wanted me to work on a student housing project for him at the university I was attending. Me, being not all that in to entrepreneurship at the time, did not take advantage of delivering his financial "proposals" to the university I was attending and graduated from. I was too distracted to make the rounds and try to get rich young with his help - he had a wife and family and was trying to figure out a way to make it big too. He'd thought more highly of me because my mom was thought so highly of by several big wigs in a half-a-million pop city born n' raised.

Anyway, the office life, while easier especially in government, just wasn't for me. I couldn't stand being Fake all the time, a lot, there was no traction. A ton of politics. Being that now, or for the past 11 years I can be non-political or just say whatever I want in blue-collar life cause blue-collar dudes don't care about and are more susceptible to your conspiracy theories, their jobs don't hinge on what they believe or say, but on their hands that do the work, so loose speech is accepted. I give women loose speech too take it or leave it, and she'll give it double-meaning most of the time. Let her squirmy mind think what it wants to think. I will not clarify myself. So if she likes your Looks, then whatever you say she gives double-meaning to, the double-meaning will usually fall on the side of your favor and not against you in her mind. You get sex, you get your fleshy desire filled, most likely on to the next on in a couple of months, or month, or even week. She doesn't care, women are loose now.

 

[fanatic22]

It's a family gathering

The responses here is shocking !!

Found myself agreeing with Spaz for once, lol.

WTF are you guys talking about? There is nothing alpha about ignoring female family members. Actually it shows that you’ve commoditized women into sexual objects, and so you find it pointless to talk to women you can’t have sex with. This is extremely shallow. Women are human beings. They can be interesting, intelligent, and fun. Try treating women like friends and you’ll see they have a lot to offer. I even spent my Saturday night with a bachelorette party of unattractive girls because they were having more fun than anyone else at the bar, and I had a great time.

Edit: I’d also like to point out that men who do well with women love women. Men who do badly with women either hate women or feel uncomfortable around them. Women can sense that.

 

[SoSuave666]

Understood.

Back to your question...

I agree with Mr. Goodstuff, but I will add one other possible angle...

Sometimes, in a twisted sort of way, it is a lot of fun to ignore women and only talk to guys. Can we call it "reverse-attention-whoring?" Or maybe "ignoring-whoring*" lol?

Additionally, with guys, you can (usually) let your guard down and just be yourself. Typically, talking to women is WORK, and talking to guys is easy/chill. Not sure how else to say it.

*Extroverts sometimes attention-*****. Us introverts sometimes ignore-***** lol.

It’s only work if you view seduction as a chore. Personally I enjoy the game of bedding women.

Over time tho I can see it, constant sh1t tests gets tiring

 

[shouldbefun]

You don't acknowledge girls because you are too much up in your ass with bad social skills. Come on man, I hate to be that guy but you should acknowledge everyone. Anyone saying you are alpha is playing with your head.

 

[Serenity]

Additionally, with guys, you can (usually) let your guard down and just be yourself. Typically, talking to women is WORK, and talking to guys is easy/chill. Not sure how else to say it.

This is only so because you make it so. You can do the exact same thing with women, put zero extra effort into it and let your guard down. If anything (most) women will appreciate a chilled out dude rather than the typical tense guy who's working hard on what to say next.

 

[Mike32ct]

This is only so because you make it so. You can do the exact same thing with women, put zero extra effort into it and let your guard down. If anything (most) women will appreciate a chilled out dude rather than the typical tense guy who's working hard on what to say next.

Understood. Women absolutely like a chill guy. I can be chill around guys and certain women I already know well. But for new women, I’m not there yet; I still get rather tense. That’s an area I have to work on.
Gonna try affirmations along with more exposure.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I dont mind talking to women but I dont get much pleasure out of it unless I have romantic plans, I find that talking to women is demanding when it comes of chosing topics and keep the attention while they talk.

As if I give a fvck about telling my auntie about my job situation or why Im not married, let alone to listen how her son is doing good in his clothes shop with his wife.

I dont think its anything alpha/not alpha related, sometime there is some people you get along better than other.

Also comms with women are never straight and direct, they are prone to gossip and have their set of questions to get information covertly, this triggers a sense of discomfort in most guys even if they dont know the reason.

Personally I talk with women in family gatherings (actually not attending any from years and its great, general drama is down and free time is up) but I keep coms light and funny and when the talking are not of my likings I tell them that Im a drug dealer and their sons could get a discount if they hit me up.

 

[corrector]

I went to a family gathering last night. Where there was lots of females. For some.reason i only said hello and goodbye to the males. I never aknowledged a female there. Its like i didnt even want to notice them unless there was a romantic prospect there etc: whats the underlying cause of this?

Same thing happened on Good Friday service. There were a bunch of females next to me, but when it came to shaking hands as is normally done during the service, I didn't feel I got much of a "choosing" signal from the girl sitting next to me. I ignored her the rest of the time but acknowledged everyone else. While this sounds low in this context, I think it's the same principle with the other OP. You just feel like an inner rage that's manifest by ignoring them despite the fact that it could be a "sister-in-the Lord", which comes like a quasi-family, and could be a construed as quasi-family event, so the variables are similar to the OP. You can't help once that rage takes over that, well, you are not chosen by them that way and you can see it by their non-verbal cues/rejection, etc...

 

[Serenity]

Understood. Women absolutely like a chill guy. I can be chill around guys and certain women I already know well. But for new women, I’m not there yet; I still get rather tense. That’s an area I have to work on.
Gonna try affirmations along with more exposure.

This has to do with outcome dependence. You don't desire to take a guy to bed, but talking to a woman you imagine there's more of a risk. There is not, if you don't win you don't technically lose because you haven't really lost anything, you just didn't gain what you desired. Getting tensed up by talking to new women isn't rational, there's no good reason to react that way.

If it helps, keep in the back of your mind that getting tense will increase the chance if it going the way you fear it will go. Remind yourself that they're just humans with their own flaws just like yourself. Don't depend such interactions on a desired outcome, find a way to enjoy it regardless of the outcome.

 

[corrector]

This has to do with outcome dependence. You don't desire to take a guy to bed, but talking to a woman you imagine there's more of a risk.

That is unfair. Most of what guys such as Mike32ct and myself want is to just have a nice interaction. Even Bigdave17 was happy to get 30 min in with a decent girl of a good convo.

There is not, if you don't win you don't technically lose because you haven't really lost anything, you just didn't gain what you desired. Getting tensed up by talking to new women isn't rational, there's no good reason to react that way.

A nice convo or even civil interaction is a baseline. If you don't get a baseline result then it does feel like a loss because you can't even add any value, even in the form of convo, because you are not hot enough for her and get shot down before you even get a chance to try. We are very realistic about managing our expectations and I can assure you that getting tensed up with a girl has absolutely nothing to do with outcome dependency such as getting her to bed (or marrying her if you are Christian). The nerves itself can only be worked through by the use of pheromones (i.e. in my experience) and that's a chemical based intervention that has to do with the part of the brain dealing with smell. Maybe smelling and nervousness are related.

If it helps, keep in the back of your mind that getting tense will increase the chance if it going the way you fear it will go. Remind yourself that they're just humans with their own flaws just like yourself. Don't depend such interactions on a desired outcome, find a way to enjoy it regardless of the outcome.

You can't reason with tension anymore than you can reason pain to go away. You can't enjoy interactions independent of the outcome if you feel bad in the interaction itself.

 

[Serenity]

A nice convo or even civil interaction is a baseline. If you don't get a baseline result then it does feel like a loss because you can't even add any value, even in the form of convo, because you are not hot enough for her and get shot down before you even get a chance to try.

Same thing can happen by trying to talk to a man, he might not want to talk to you. Somehow it just doesn't matter as much in that case... It is not a loss, nothing is lost. You can't lose what you haven't gained.

We are very realistic about managing our expectations and I can assure you that getting tensed up with a girl has absolutely nothing to do with outcome dependency such as getting her to bed (or marrying her if you are Christian).

What is it then? What is it that makes the difference? I'm not seeing it.

The nerves itself can only be worked through by the use of pheromones (i.e. in my experience) and that's a chemical based intervention that has to do with the part of the brain dealing with smell. Maybe smelling and nervousness are related.

This is absurd to me. Like the type of thing that has a psychological effect by merely believing it even if partially.

You can't reason with tension anymore than you can reason pain to go away. You can't enjoy interactions independent of the outcome if you feel bad in the interaction itself.

Those are two very different types of feelings. Tension has a psychological cause even though it has physiological symptoms. Pain has a physiological cause, it's a signal from the body to the mind and not the other way around so you can't just reason it away.

You can change how you feel about interactions by changing how you frame such interactions.

 

[corrector]

Same thing can happen by trying to talk to a man, he might not want to talk to you. Somehow it just doesn't matter as much in that case... It is not a loss, nothing is lost. You can't lose what you haven't gained.

Come on. An ego-hit or a social fail is a loss...or "awkward". With a guy there is no ego-hit or social fail because there is nothing about that interaction that makes you feel good or bad about your SMV/LMS or your ability to generate romantic prospects. I didn't think I'd need to spell that out here, but of course there is a difference between a guy and a gal. However, not all girls have that type of effect. I can think of a few girls, off the top of my head, who I'm not romantically attracted to, that do not elicit much in my mind any more than a guy would.

What is it then? What is it that makes the difference? I'm not seeing it.

An involuntary nerve reflect. Perhaps something is activating the fight and fear response of the brain that I'm not entirely in control of and as a result some type of tense-up occurs. This is commonly known as approach anxiety and I've seen PUA tutorials explain this could be a hardwired response from the caveman days. If it's a hardwired response that requires a hardwired solution then technically it's physiological rather than psychological. Even if we agree to disagree, at least it's borderline between the two and if anything can alter the physiological component of it, then the psychological component would be allot easier to handle.

This is absurd to me. Like the type of thing that has a psychological effect by merely believing it even if partially.

Please do research on Lavinder essential oil and see how that smell of that flower could be a relaxant and work even better than a sleeping pill minus the side effects from reviews studied. This provides at least one example of the link between smell and a hardwired biological response. How can you rule out other potential hardwire short-cuts via smell if this works?

Those are two very different types of feelings. Tension has a psychological cause even though it has physiological symptoms. Pain has a physiological cause, it's a signal from the body to the mind and not the other way around so you can't just reason it away.

You can change how you feel about interactions by changing how you frame such interactions.

The Amygdala is physiological because it is part of the brain. Certain smells like Lavinder disables it or calms that part down. Again, pheromones could chemically have similar effects, in particular social pheromones. There is no mad science with social pheromones because the actual name of the compound that I have in mind is called Beta-Androstenol. I believe I tried a compound like this in the past and it was very effective in calming the nerves around women. Also other social pheromones are good to but you have to do your own legwork. You can only change the frame if the Amygdala is not all over the place. But again these are short-cuts. You have PUAs like Mystery Method that suggest 1000 approaches are needed to get good at wearing down the approach anxiety. But this is advice from over a decade ago and not sure how that would fare in today's high-tech world of smartphones and 5G internet.

 

[Mike32ct]

I see both sides. Grewd is giving honest well-intentioned advice, and I don’t object to anything he’s saying.

But, corrector, I absolutely agree with you that nervousness around women we find attractive is involuntary. And yes, I also see a decent conversation or civil interaction as "baseline." My expectations are very low.

I don't know the exact cause of the nervousness. I believe the theory of approach anxiety being hardwired was just Mystery's theory. I don't know if there was any science behind that. We might never know where it comes from, and it probably doesn't matter.

I also don't know if exposure (alone) actually cures fears. Even Jordan Peterson said something to the effect that facing fears can make you more brave, not less afraid.

In my (amateur/armchair psychologist lol) opinion, I wonder if exposure alone without changing your thinking patterns actually REINFORCES fears. Step One: "This is going to suck." Step Two: "Yes, I'm nervous; this does suck." Step Three: "It's over. Relief." Return to step one. Isn't that just an infinite loop of nervousness reinforcement lol?

So I'm guessing that, even with exposure, you would have to (brute) force yourself to have more positive (or at least neutral) thinking patterns. Change the thought from "This is going to suck" to "This isn't a big deal" and do that many, many times. Or maybe try to reprogram your subconscious with affirmations (or self-hypnosis)?

I think Grewd is alluding to forcing a change in thought patterns. (Maybe not "forcing" but you know what I mean.)