Why do most women say I'm a nice guy for?

[Deicide]

Ok, it appears I'm a nice guy to women, but, not in the stereotypical way of buying drinks and flowers to get a woman's approval. I was a little surprised by it myself considering how much teasing I do to women when I talk with them. Basically most women say I'm a nice guy. Ones that I've cold approached say it, and ones I've interacted with have too. I don't understand why, and I'm not so sure it's such a good thing. Because I'm going after club girls and ones that will have sex more easily. Even a worker girl said she was surprised I didn't have a girlfriend yet since I was such a nice guy.
I never buy drinks for girls nor do I go out of my way to try to do things for them. I just talk them in a non-threatening way and tease them whenever I feel like it and talk about whatever.
I don't want a girlfriend nor do I believe in true love, and I'm very familiar with what one-itis is. Obviously I want sex from different women. I'm really not the stereotypical nice guy.
Why do women think I'm a nice guy for? And is this hurting my chances of attracting them?
I'm just being myself.

 

[f283000]

Maybe it's your appearance?? It's never a good thing when women call you a nice guy. It's a woman's way of saying you're a non-sexually threatening male and that you lack that "edge." It's the nice way for a woman to say "you're kind, you're generous, but you're just not a f***able guy."

I wouldn't worry about it so much but do try to find out if it's either your appearance or your attitude that need an added edge.

You don't want to be called a nice guy, you want to be called hot. That's the word women use for a guy that is f***able.

 

[Zodiac]

Women say your a nice guy as they want to let you down but don't have the balls to be honest so they say you are too nice so they expect you to take it as a hint.

 

[Aaron B]

it doesn't matter if you are the stereotypical nice guy or not

what does matter is how the women meet perceive you initially

perception is reality (for her at least)

a woman describing you as a nice guy is the kiss of death. the few times a woman has referred to me as nice, i've protested vigorously

her: "yeah but you're a nice guy"

me: *shocked* "no i'm not!! that's an insult! don't ever call me that again!"

 

[Deicide]

Ok, I want to find out what I need to do to not be a nice guy. I get rejected by women so much, it's ridiculous. And I'm all about self-improvement too.

 

[Aaron B]

Nice guys are ashamed of their sexuality. They are scared to express themselves sexually.

Nice guys place her needs above his own. Nice guys seek her approval. Nice guys ask things like "Are you okay?" and "What's wrong?" and say things like "I would never treat you that way"

The nice guy is the shoulder to cry on after the bad boy fcks and chucks her.

 

[Diaforetikos]

Maybe it's your appearance?? It's never a good thing when women call you a nice guy. It's a woman's way of saying you're a non-sexually threatening male and that you lack that "edge." It's the nice way for a woman to say "you're kind, you're generous, but you're just not a f***able guy."

I wouldn't worry about it so much but do try to find out if it's either your appearance or your attitude that need an added edge.

You don't want to be called a nice guy, you want to be called hot. That's the word women use for a guy that is f***able.

The bold is your problem. You aren't coming off sexual. You can build rapport and comfort. Great! You say you tease a lot. That's fine as long as your teasing is partially sexual. Jokes about the two of you hooking up is also good.

You need to let them know that your interested. How will they ever know your interested if you keep teasing them about their hair? Slow down your speech and speak softer. It'll let em know you want something more than a conversation. Your tone is your best friend, meaning the way you say things can change the vibe between you and your target.

I make amazing eye contact. Girls stare right into my eyes. They can't help it. I pull them in. They are mesmerized. I do that gay cool guy look and it does something to women that I can't explain. I am not being prideful. Its the truth. Happened during my group interview a few weeks ago and again last night while I was in line buying food. The cashier was working with another customer but her eyes were looking at me. They look past everyone else and stare. Its powerful.

That's what your missing. Why do you think the only stickied topic is called Being Sexual? It's important.

Good luck.

 

[Deicide]

Nice guys are ashamed of their sexuality. They are scared to express themselves sexually.

Nice guys place her needs above his own. Nice guys seek her approval. Nice guys ask things like "Are you okay?" and "What's wrong?" and say things like "I would never treat you that way"

The nice guy is the shoulder to cry on after the bad boy fcks and chucks her.

I used to do that when I was in high school. Even college some, but since I learned about game, I've tried to turn all of that off.
Though, I may've done that with a BPD milf(whom I didn't ****). I cold approached her, and she couldn't realize why someone like me would want her. And I ended up explaining why, and trying to help her with her problems, I did kiss her, but I never got to **** her. All I wanted to do was **** her. I've since abandoned her. I don't want someone like that in my life.
What should I have done in that situation? I'm just too logical of a person sometimes. How could i have been less logical and more touching her emotional senses?

Also, I did the same thing on a date with Taiwanese girl. I was stupid because I paid for her date(I should've taken her out for drinks! I don't drink, but I frequent nightclubs and bars anyways) at a restaraunt even though she didn't want me to. I kissed her after the date and she explained that she wanted to be friends before we started doing bf/gf things, and I argued logically against her. After that, I never kissed her nor did I **** her.

I thought I was hot s%$% that week, dating two Asians. But paying 40 $ didn't get me anything with those girls. 40 $ in Thailand is 4 hookers.

I can be as witty and ****y and funny was anyone, it's actually pretty decent approach outer game. The problem is I've been a logical person my whole life and it's hard going against your nature.

But, I really want to improve and do better with women. I want to push myself. I'd much rather attract different women being me than paying 300 $ to bang an escort once a week.

 

[Deicide]

The bold is your problem. You aren't coming off sexual. You can build rapport and comfort. Great! You say you tease a lot. That's fine as long as your teasing is partially sexual. Jokes about the two of you hooking up is also good.

You need to let them know that your interested. How will they ever know your interested if you keep teasing them about their hair? Slow down your speech and speak softer. It'll let em know you want something more than a conversation. Your tone is your best friend, meaning the way you say things can change the vibe between you and your target.

I make amazing eye contact. Girls stare right into my eyes. They can't help it. I pull them in. They are mesmerized. I do that gay cool guy look and it does something to women that I can't explain. I am not being prideful. Its the truth. Happened during my group interview a few weeks ago and again last night while I was in line buying food. The cashier was working with another customer but her eyes were looking at me. They look past everyone else and stare. Its powerful.

That's what your missing. Why do you think the only stickied topic is called Being Sexual? It's important.

Good luck.

Cool, thanks for the advice I have good eye contact with people also. It gets girls smiling at me in public, but after I talk with them it's like "I don't like this guy any more". Yes, last time I cold approached yesterday, I approached strong, said Hey, then I kept talking too fast and switching topics just to keep the conversation alive.

 

[floydb25]

Saying you're a nice guy is a way of saying they're not attracted to you. It's the typical female rejection - without going any further. Same as the friends line. It doesn't necessarily mean you are actually nice - because they don't care if you are or not. They're just saying, "oh, he's nice". If they were attracted to you - they'd say you're cute/attractive and nice, and still show sexual interest. They'd also comment on, or compliment your other qualities. But, since they don't find you attractive - they don't care. All they say is you're nice. That's what they say about everyone they're not into. If they're snobby or *****y - they'd also treat you like garbage.

If they were into you - they'd be commenting on your other qualities, and wanting to know more, because they'd care enough to know. You'd be dating them. That's why they ***** about jerks - they care enough to know everything, and complain about the things they don't like. They're dating them, and comment on everything. If you were a jerk - they wouldn't be jumping all over you. They'd just hate you.

It's like when you're with a hot ***** and a fat nice girl. You complain because the hot girl is a *****, and just say the fat one is nice. You don't care enough to know about the fat girl, but ***** non-stop about the hottie. You're bothered by it because you care. You're into her. If the fat girl was a ***** - you'd just hate her.

Trust me. If someone is into you - they don't care what you are. They prefer you to be nice. They only hate because the hot guys are usually jerks or players... Just like us and the hot girls.

When you find a girl who is crazy about you - she won't say you're nice. She'll probably ***** about all the things you do that annoy her. You'll be another jerk that she complains about - because she cares enough to know everything. She'll also nitpick specific things that are unattractive - like being shy, gentle, needy, etc. It won't be as simple as "you're nice".

 

[Aaron B]

deleted

 

[Korrupt]

Women calling you a nice guy and are having sex with you = good

Women calling you a nice guy and are NOT having sex with you = bad

Any other answer is wrong.

 

[f283000]

Women calling you a nice guy and are having sex with you = good

Women calling you a nice guy and are NOT having sex with you = bad

women calling you a nice guy and having sex with you = RARE

 

[floydb25]

^ False.

 

[FairShake]

Why do women think I'm a nice guy for?

If girls are saying you are nice and you aren't getting laid you probably aren't particularly attractive to them. The kind of girls you say you're going for want very handsome guys. Either that OR you aren't trying to fvck them quick or direct enough. When it comes to inebriated club girls talking too much will almost always be "nice."

Teasing girls has nothing to do with being nice or not or friends or not. You tease your friends don't you? Most AFCs tease their female friends and girlfriends too. All it does is show off your wit, which is usually a good thing...

 

[Deicide]

If girls are saying you are nice and you aren't getting laid you probably aren't particularly attractive to them. The kind of girls you say you're going for want very handsome guys. Either that OR you aren't trying to fvck them quick or direct enough. When it comes to inebriated club girls talking too much will almost always be "nice."

Teasing girls has nothing to do with being nice or not or friends or not. You tease your friends don't you? Most AFCs tease their female friends and girlfriends too. All it does is show off your wit, which is usually a good thing...

Ok, what should I be saying to club girls? When I approach I just talk about whatever and it feels like I'm doing a monologue in order to try and get something going.
Me: Hey, how're you doing, etc...
Girls: seemingly bored, not asking me questions while I plow through the interaction.
I'll stay as long as I can in set until they walk away or I see no purpose in continuing,
Yes, when I'm at the club, the girls I want/approach usually end up with the more attractive guys. I see it happen everytime I'm out. Yes, I tease my friends and have fun doing it.
I really need to learn how to attract women, but I have no idea how to do it. I guess I'll start acting like more of an a**hole and try to push things and get more in-your-face with people. I know that image will not be congruent with me right now though. But I have to test things out to see what will work out for me. The last year has been a lot of rejection and trying to learn how to be good with women.

 

[floydb25]

Alright, your first mistake is going after club girls. These aren't decent people for the most part. They typically go after the hot douche bags - because its what they are themselves. The club scene in general is ruthless, and very shallow. Unless you got the looks, or some mad game to make up for it - you aren't getting anywhere. You definitely can't be shy, passive, normal, or nice. You have to acquaint yourself with the crowd you're trying to attract.

You gotta go where you are comfortable, and where you'd find someone on your level. People attract what they are. If you're not a bar-hopping, loud, flamboyant, alcoholic douche bag - you won't attract many people at the bar. Just like you won't attract a decent girl at the library or church by being a bar-hopping douche bag. It's just like in high school... The popular guys get with the popular girls. They all belong to the same group. Every scene is like this. If you don't fit in - you won't get along.

But your interactions sound like they're not attracted to you - as initially suspected. What you describe is exactly how someone acts when they're not into someone. In the club scene, especially, a lot of people are all about the status; snobby and stuck up; and only talk to those they deem "good enough" to be on their level. If you aren't hot, sexually aggressive, social, confident, witty, ****y, etc - you won't be picking up any bar sluts. Being intelligent, well-mannered, etc won't get you anywhere with them - because that's not what they're about. They WILL reject you at the bar for being too nice.

 

[Deicide]

Alright, your first mistake is going after club girls. These aren't decent people for the most part. They typically go after the hot douche bags - because its what they are themselves. The club scene in general is ruthless, and very shallow. Unless you got the looks, or some mad game to make up for it - you aren't getting anywhere. You definitely can't be shy, passive, normal, or nice. You have to acquaint yourself with the crowd you're trying to attract.

You gotta go where you are comfortable, and where you'd find someone on your level. People attract what they are. If you're not a bar-hopping, loud, flamboyant, alcoholic douche bag - you won't attract many people at the bar. Just like you won't attract a decent girl at the library or church by being a bar-hopping douche bag. It's just like in high school... The popular guys get with the popular girls. They all belong to the same group. Every scene is like this. If you don't fit in - you won't get along.

But your interactions sound like they're not attracted to you - as initially suspected. What you describe is exactly how someone acts when they're not into someone. In the club scene, especially, a lot of people are all about the status; snobby and stuck up; and only talk to those they deem "good enough" to be on their level. If you aren't hot, sexually aggressive, social, confident, witty, ****y, etc - you won't be picking up any bar sluts. Being intelligent, well-mannered, etc won't get you anywhere with them - because that's not what they're about. They WILL reject you at the bar for being too nice.

I understand. I don't even drink alcohol, but I want to get good at bar/club game. Just because it statistically has the most single people there and also better chances for makeouts, one night stands, and finding friend(s) with benefits. I can't do those sort of things at Wal Mart or McDonald's, though there are attractive women there, though I'd guess 90 % of my Day Game approaches in those places are on taken women. That's not desireable, but it's a reality.
I don't really belong to any scene. I'm just a spikey-haired kid with no tattoos or piercings that dresses in normal/goofy/athletic shirts and listens to metal and obscure artistic music. I'm in the rural south, so there is no scene for me here. I have plenty of good hobbies like guitar, playing pool, languages, psychology/sociology/philosophy, and sports.
Actually, when I was in Spain for a month I did much better with women over there than here in the US.
Where would you recommend I find women here then?

 

[floydb25]

Don't really know what to tell ya. Are you socially awkward? Give off weird, needy vibes... Not good at conversation, or making people feel comfortable.... Pleasant, entertaining, and fun to be around... Easy to make friends... People can sense desperation - just by trying too hard to fit in, and be accepted.

It sounds like you're trying to fit into a crowd you don't belong to. It doesn't really work. Either you're a shallow douche bag who attracts party *****s, or not. That's why you are probably getting rejected. You're trying to attract them by being something they're not attracted to. They can sense it right away. Hence, giving you the cold shoulder. If you were a hot bad boy - they'd be all over you - cause they're shallow.

I don't know what kind of person you can attract from what you've provided. You have to at least dress nice, seem sociable, and like you belong. You can't come off like you're inexperienced, shy, or awkward with women when you're looking for ONS' and FWB's. Doesn't work... You have to come off like you fit this kind of person, and they'll seek after you for it. You have to give off these vibes - like the sluts do by being shallow, acting retarded, and dressing like hookers. They're advertising. You gotta present yourself in a similar fashion to attract this type. They're not gonna want this with a nice guy. Being a social outcast won't get you far. You're not really doing anything to make you social or likeable.

Think about it this way... These girls you are chasing after will go after what they deem is on their level. If they're hot, social, confident, dress nice, etc - that's what they're gonna go for... The hot guys with the same traits. If they're just looking to get laid - they'll go after those who fit the bill. Impressions mean a lot - without even saying anything.

 

[Aaron B]

^ False.

can we get a few examples please?