Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
zekko said:
Well said Zekko!
PIMP
Why do most women say I'm a nice guy for?
- Thread starter Deicide
- Start date
Well said Zekko!
PIMP
Pair: Being an ******* won't do you any good if they're not attracted to you. Neither will being a challenge or having game. Do you care when a girl you're not attracted to plays hard to get, is dating around, acts immature, plays games, blows you off, etc? No. You don't care enough about her to be bothered by this.
The only reason *******s get laid is because the women find them hot. Women are more shallow when it comes to looks than they'd like you to believe.
If a woman is crazy about someone - she'll stick around, give him multiple chances, make up excuses for him, and try to change him. He has the looks, but not the personality. She tries to fix him, and focuses only on his good side. Likely has her head up in the clouds, and is crushing on him. That's why she says "but he's probably nice deep down". She cares enough to dig for it, and probably knows she's just being delusional and making up excuses. But, she finds him attractive enough to find out. That's the key: she cares, and is into him enough to learn more.
It's not as simple as *******s get laid. I have ******* friends who are unattractive, and they don't get anywhere with women. Women just hate them. But the hot guys are considered cute, misunderstood... They make up excuses for them, because they're into them.
Most women use *******s for sex because they know better than to get attached. The ones who specifically seek them out aren't looking for anything serious. They want sex because they're attractive - not because they're *******s. They ONLY want sex from them because they are *******s. Being an ******* has nothing to do with it, and neither does being nice. It's all about attraction.
Edit: The same thing applies to nice guys. If he is acting needy, clingy, whiney, insecure, etc - she'll give him multiple chances, and try to change him, too. Make him more exciting, independent, chill, sexual, etc. But ONLY if she is attracted to him. She won't say he's nice - she'll say he's boring, shy, not confident, etc. She cares enough to find this out, and gives him time to change - as she is specific about her dislikes. Again, she cares enough to know all about his traits. She is into him. They are dating.
I was at both ends of the spectrum before. The results were basically the same - because they're opposite sides of the same coin. Neither extreme is effective or healthy - as a human being in general. Yeah, you're cool to hang out with when you're a jerk, but nobody trusts you, or wants to be your friend. They don't take you seriously, or get too close. But when you're too nice - they walk all over you, don't respect you, etc. Dating isn't much different from anything else in life. It comes down to your personality and character. The only difference in dating is sexual attraction. That's it.
The only reason *******s get laid is because the women find them hot. Women are more shallow when it comes to looks than they'd like you to believe.
If a woman is crazy about someone - she'll stick around, give him multiple chances, make up excuses for him, and try to change him. He has the looks, but not the personality. She tries to fix him, and focuses only on his good side. Likely has her head up in the clouds, and is crushing on him. That's why she says "but he's probably nice deep down". She cares enough to dig for it, and probably knows she's just being delusional and making up excuses. But, she finds him attractive enough to find out. That's the key: she cares, and is into him enough to learn more.
It's not as simple as *******s get laid. I have ******* friends who are unattractive, and they don't get anywhere with women. Women just hate them. But the hot guys are considered cute, misunderstood... They make up excuses for them, because they're into them.
Most women use *******s for sex because they know better than to get attached. The ones who specifically seek them out aren't looking for anything serious. They want sex because they're attractive - not because they're *******s. They ONLY want sex from them because they are *******s. Being an ******* has nothing to do with it, and neither does being nice. It's all about attraction.
Edit: The same thing applies to nice guys. If he is acting needy, clingy, whiney, insecure, etc - she'll give him multiple chances, and try to change him, too. Make him more exciting, independent, chill, sexual, etc. But ONLY if she is attracted to him. She won't say he's nice - she'll say he's boring, shy, not confident, etc. She cares enough to find this out, and gives him time to change - as she is specific about her dislikes. Again, she cares enough to know all about his traits. She is into him. They are dating.
I was at both ends of the spectrum before. The results were basically the same - because they're opposite sides of the same coin. Neither extreme is effective or healthy - as a human being in general. Yeah, you're cool to hang out with when you're a jerk, but nobody trusts you, or wants to be your friend. They don't take you seriously, or get too close. But when you're too nice - they walk all over you, don't respect you, etc. Dating isn't much different from anything else in life. It comes down to your personality and character. The only difference in dating is sexual attraction. That's it.
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wait_out
Master Don Juan
Interesting collorary is that truly 'nice' guys (as in boyfriend material) are going to get laid a little slower because women don't want to seem too promiscuous. They care about how they're seen because they're angling for a potential relationship (or even just want the guy to have a good opinion of them). They may even like and respect the potential BF more, but women still have needs. So the guy with no LTR potential -- women don't feel the need to protect their reputation, which removes a huge barrier to sex.
The slower things go, the more chance there is for things to go wrong before a couple ends up in bed. So, yeah, they will get laid less -- not because they're nice but because so much can go wrong in the initial stages of attraction. Whereas there's a greater chance for people sleeping together to wind up as a couple... increasing the chances she ends up dating a jerk, while everyone runs off to the internet trying to figure out what just happened.
As with all human irrationality, it's not going away -- you just have to decide how you plan to deal with it.
The slower things go, the more chance there is for things to go wrong before a couple ends up in bed. So, yeah, they will get laid less -- not because they're nice but because so much can go wrong in the initial stages of attraction. Whereas there's a greater chance for people sleeping together to wind up as a couple... increasing the chances she ends up dating a jerk, while everyone runs off to the internet trying to figure out what just happened.
As with all human irrationality, it's not going away -- you just have to decide how you plan to deal with it.
Wait: Right on... Very true. It doesn't necessarily mean she's not into him if they don't have sex right away. Just because she respects him - doesn't mean she just wants to be his friend, and is never going to have sex. Some women also wait a little while to make sure the guy is genuinely interested before jumping into bed too quickly. They might even block his advances for a while.
What guys don't understand is that there's a lot of players and liars out there. They get what they want, and leave. They act like they're nice to bring the women's defenses down. So, when another so-called nice guy comes along - they immediately distrust him. As well, women get more emotional during intimacy.
There's way too much confusion, stereotyping, and assuming going on with this whole nice guy / jerk situation. Jumping to conclusions is never a good thing. All you have to do is weigh whether they're attracted to you. If they're dating you. If they care enough to know about you. If they ask you personal questions, flirt, want to see you, make time for you, compliment you, and enjoy being around you. It's not hard to tell the difference between friends and lovers vs attention *****s, users, players, etc.
At the same time, you need to live your life, and stop worrying about whether someone likes you, or just wants to be friend. Don't wait around for them. Don't care if they like you or not. Don't analyze everything they do. Don't jump at their every call. Stop making them your entire life. Just chill out. Date around. Stop taking everything so seriously and personally. It's not a big deal.
What guys don't understand is that there's a lot of players and liars out there. They get what they want, and leave. They act like they're nice to bring the women's defenses down. So, when another so-called nice guy comes along - they immediately distrust him. As well, women get more emotional during intimacy.
There's way too much confusion, stereotyping, and assuming going on with this whole nice guy / jerk situation. Jumping to conclusions is never a good thing. All you have to do is weigh whether they're attracted to you. If they're dating you. If they care enough to know about you. If they ask you personal questions, flirt, want to see you, make time for you, compliment you, and enjoy being around you. It's not hard to tell the difference between friends and lovers vs attention *****s, users, players, etc.
At the same time, you need to live your life, and stop worrying about whether someone likes you, or just wants to be friend. Don't wait around for them. Don't care if they like you or not. Don't analyze everything they do. Don't jump at their every call. Stop making them your entire life. Just chill out. Date around. Stop taking everything so seriously and personally. It's not a big deal.
Update for Aaron: I just had several girls compliment me on my niceness over the last few days. Some I knew for a while; some I just met. Here's how the situations went down, and this is very common:
Took 1 girl to the hospital because she was crazy sick. I sat by her as she was almost passed out on the couch, and bought her some water. She said I am the one of the nicest guys she ever knew. I kind of argued the point, because I'm really not. But she disagreed and said I was. She hugged me, said I was a sexy *****, she likes [my type], and was down for dating if I was up for it.
Drove with girl 2 to see her family. We were talking about past relationships, and I mentioned that I like to learn more about the person before having sex. She didn't fail safe driving, so I took over. She said I'm cute and very sweet, then poked me, grabbed my ass, and flirted like crazy. I had to turn her down for personal reasons, but she said any girl would be lucky to have me, I'd make a terrific boyfriend, and she was very disappointed in the rejection.
Listened to girl 3 complain about her problems, and gave her advice - like you're not supposed to do. Sometimes I like to go against the grain for the hell of it, and see what happens. She got super excited, couldn't believe I was there for her, said I was attractive and sweet, and too good to be true. The conversation quickly turned sexual on her part. I mentioned how I used to take hour-long showers, and she said we will have to do that together soon. There was a lot more... This girl was super horny. She also talked about wanting a relationship and how we should go to Florida so she can cook me the shrimp I love so much. She got a little too excited, but whatever.
Was driving girl 4 home after work, and asked her if she wanted something to eat. We were talking prior to that, and she said I was very sweet, caring and attentive. She wanted to "ravage" me in the car, and come over to have sex on my bed. Then talked about her fantasies, which were... Yeah. They say weird, random things when they're in the moment.
Was playing basketball outside - when I said "hi" to girl 5. Just acknowledging her presence; she was on the way other side of the court. She came over to play with me, I offered her water, and was "nice" as we were playing together. Asked about herself, offered her to rest when she seemed tired, etc. She had the biggest smile on her face the whole time. You don't guard people the way she was with me. She played with my necklace, couldn't stop smiling, and asked for my number.
Girl 6 I've known for a while. She was complaining about her ******* exes. I'm not sure how it happened, but she said she has nothing against dating a friend. I think its because I mentioned that girls don't do that, and its not a good idea, or something to that effect. Then she said I was sexified, a pretty boy, always there for her, and once again turning the conversation sexual.
I have so many stories like this. It happens on a near-daily basis. The same stuff all these nice guys do - so do I. I don't do anything but act nice. Don't even flirt or turn the conversations sexual - they do that, and I just follow. I don't charm these girls, or act like a douche bag. Just being normal and nice.
The only difference is, these girls are attracted. They tell me the same things, and give me the same lines as these other guys... But they want sex and relationships. It comes down to sexual attraction. There's nothing more to it. These are all good-looking girls, because I don't really hang out with ugly ones too much.
Took 1 girl to the hospital because she was crazy sick. I sat by her as she was almost passed out on the couch, and bought her some water. She said I am the one of the nicest guys she ever knew. I kind of argued the point, because I'm really not. But she disagreed and said I was. She hugged me, said I was a sexy *****, she likes [my type], and was down for dating if I was up for it.
Drove with girl 2 to see her family. We were talking about past relationships, and I mentioned that I like to learn more about the person before having sex. She didn't fail safe driving, so I took over. She said I'm cute and very sweet, then poked me, grabbed my ass, and flirted like crazy. I had to turn her down for personal reasons, but she said any girl would be lucky to have me, I'd make a terrific boyfriend, and she was very disappointed in the rejection.
Listened to girl 3 complain about her problems, and gave her advice - like you're not supposed to do. Sometimes I like to go against the grain for the hell of it, and see what happens. She got super excited, couldn't believe I was there for her, said I was attractive and sweet, and too good to be true. The conversation quickly turned sexual on her part. I mentioned how I used to take hour-long showers, and she said we will have to do that together soon. There was a lot more... This girl was super horny. She also talked about wanting a relationship and how we should go to Florida so she can cook me the shrimp I love so much. She got a little too excited, but whatever.
Was driving girl 4 home after work, and asked her if she wanted something to eat. We were talking prior to that, and she said I was very sweet, caring and attentive. She wanted to "ravage" me in the car, and come over to have sex on my bed. Then talked about her fantasies, which were... Yeah. They say weird, random things when they're in the moment.
Was playing basketball outside - when I said "hi" to girl 5. Just acknowledging her presence; she was on the way other side of the court. She came over to play with me, I offered her water, and was "nice" as we were playing together. Asked about herself, offered her to rest when she seemed tired, etc. She had the biggest smile on her face the whole time. You don't guard people the way she was with me. She played with my necklace, couldn't stop smiling, and asked for my number.
Girl 6 I've known for a while. She was complaining about her ******* exes. I'm not sure how it happened, but she said she has nothing against dating a friend. I think its because I mentioned that girls don't do that, and its not a good idea, or something to that effect. Then she said I was sexified, a pretty boy, always there for her, and once again turning the conversation sexual.
I have so many stories like this. It happens on a near-daily basis. The same stuff all these nice guys do - so do I. I don't do anything but act nice. Don't even flirt or turn the conversations sexual - they do that, and I just follow. I don't charm these girls, or act like a douche bag. Just being normal and nice.
The only difference is, these girls are attracted. They tell me the same things, and give me the same lines as these other guys... But they want sex and relationships. It comes down to sexual attraction. There's nothing more to it. These are all good-looking girls, because I don't really hang out with ugly ones too much.
So very false, my friend. I attract a lot of trashy and quality women - because it has nothing to do with being nice. The first thing they see is the looks and presentation. They don't know if you're nice or not - nor do they care. They care about your looks - then decide to pursue or not from there. This guy doesn't even get a CHANCE to show if he's nice or not - because the women do not care. He even says he's NOT a nice guy, and women still say he is - because that's not why they're rejecting him in the first place.
It has nothing to do with being alpha or beta. Most so-called alpha males I know are complete douche bags, and only attract retarded women. Neither of them have any sense or intelligence, so who cares about them? They're losers. But, these alpha males you speak of are still physically attractive. That's why they get women. That is the common denominator in all these situations.
Nobody is getting rejected for being too nice. That's not why they claim someone is a nice guy - without even getting to know them. It's a plain rejection. Same as "I have a boyfriend", or "I'm not looking for a relationship", or "we're just friends". There is no meaning behind it. This is how women reject people they're not interested in. It should not be taken too literally, or made out to be bigger than it is.
It has nothing to do with being alpha or beta. Most so-called alpha males I know are complete douche bags, and only attract retarded women. Neither of them have any sense or intelligence, so who cares about them? They're losers. But, these alpha males you speak of are still physically attractive. That's why they get women. That is the common denominator in all these situations.
Nobody is getting rejected for being too nice. That's not why they claim someone is a nice guy - without even getting to know them. It's a plain rejection. Same as "I have a boyfriend", or "I'm not looking for a relationship", or "we're just friends". There is no meaning behind it. This is how women reject people they're not interested in. It should not be taken too literally, or made out to be bigger than it is.
So now we're talking about two different things. You're getting into the dating phase, and saying nice guys aren't successful. I don't disagree, and added that part to the end of the original reply. But, the ******* is not successful either. How do you determine success? The ******* won't last much longer than the nice guy. In fact, he'll probably bail himself out. The only difference is that the ******* doesn't care; he doesn't get attached. The nice guy does, and whines about it afterwards. The nice guy simply puts in more effort, has more expectations, and ends up more hurt in the end. That's the only difference. Nothing to do with being nice or mean.
Both of these two are given equal opportunities. She'll give the nice guy chances to stop being a *****, and the ******* chances to stop being a selfish prick. It comes down, once again, to physical attraction, and if she's into them or not.
It's not like nice guys get friend-zoned right away, and are forever banished into doormat territory. This only happens when the girl is not into them. He always was just a friend. Even if they dated for a while - it doesn't mean she was crazy about him. She could have probably taken or left him - she doesn't care. He's just an option; a placeholder. A friend. There isn't necessarily anything he did wrong.
He can do the exact same things with another girl, and be successful. Not because he's big time alpha king pin - because she's into him. The other girl isn't. That's all there is to it. I've had hot *****es date me, and average nice girls reject me. One was attracted, and the other wasn't. It had nothing to do with anything besides looks.
The original point was getting rejected without even getting to the dating phase. So you're telling me the nice guy gets rejected without getting a chance, but the jerk who acts like a nice guy in the beginning gets a chance? Doesn't add up. He's getting rejected because she's not attracted to him. She doesn't care if he is nice or not. That's the whole point.
I agree with the numbers you provided, which is kind of the central theme behind this whole argument / discussion. A 10 won't reject a 10 for being nice, but will reject a 5 for being an *******. Using your logic, right? People go with what they deem is on their level in terms of LOOKS. That's what the numbers are all about. Being nice or not doesn't even fit into the equation... It has nothing to do with it.
I acted like an ******* with women before, and believe me, it doesn't work. It was a natural reaction to getting hurt, so I wasn't pretending to be anything. There's way more to it than *******s get all the girls, or whatever nonsense.
Both of these two are given equal opportunities. She'll give the nice guy chances to stop being a *****, and the ******* chances to stop being a selfish prick. It comes down, once again, to physical attraction, and if she's into them or not.
It's not like nice guys get friend-zoned right away, and are forever banished into doormat territory. This only happens when the girl is not into them. He always was just a friend. Even if they dated for a while - it doesn't mean she was crazy about him. She could have probably taken or left him - she doesn't care. He's just an option; a placeholder. A friend. There isn't necessarily anything he did wrong.
He can do the exact same things with another girl, and be successful. Not because he's big time alpha king pin - because she's into him. The other girl isn't. That's all there is to it. I've had hot *****es date me, and average nice girls reject me. One was attracted, and the other wasn't. It had nothing to do with anything besides looks.
The original point was getting rejected without even getting to the dating phase. So you're telling me the nice guy gets rejected without getting a chance, but the jerk who acts like a nice guy in the beginning gets a chance? Doesn't add up. He's getting rejected because she's not attracted to him. She doesn't care if he is nice or not. That's the whole point.
I agree with the numbers you provided, which is kind of the central theme behind this whole argument / discussion. A 10 won't reject a 10 for being nice, but will reject a 5 for being an *******. Using your logic, right? People go with what they deem is on their level in terms of LOOKS. That's what the numbers are all about. Being nice or not doesn't even fit into the equation... It has nothing to do with it.
I acted like an ******* with women before, and believe me, it doesn't work. It was a natural reaction to getting hurt, so I wasn't pretending to be anything. There's way more to it than *******s get all the girls, or whatever nonsense.
I describe other guys I know as "nice" guys. It's a good thing. When I say "nice" I mean that the person has certain attributes that make you like/trust them. They're..
Friendly
Easy to talk to
Empathetic
Caring
Trustworthy
ect..
Being "nice" is a good thing, as long as you're looking at it the RIGHT way. You can be nice and still be..
Sexy
Witty
Tough
Funny
Sexual/Seductive
ect..
But once again, it all comes down to if you're getting laid or not. If you are, there are no problems, if you're not, there ARE problems.
Friendly
Easy to talk to
Empathetic
Caring
Trustworthy
ect..
Being "nice" is a good thing, as long as you're looking at it the RIGHT way. You can be nice and still be..
Sexy
Witty
Tough
Funny
Sexual/Seductive
ect..
But once again, it all comes down to if you're getting laid or not. If you are, there are no problems, if you're not, there ARE problems.
Thanks for all the help everyone. I tried to be relaxed and non-needy when I was at the bank, convenience store, and gym today. I'm from a small town , so I'm not always going to have cold approach opportunities, but I made sure to not try to keep dying conversations alive through random blurts. And I also made pauses and talked slower with people. I think I'm on the way to becoming non-needy. It does feel weird being less talkative. It's taken the humor out of my interactions, though this was just the first day doing it. I'm sure this will help in the long run.
Paradox: Agreed. The problem with nice guys, in the stereotypical sense, is that they're too over-bearing. Its not because they're kind, decent people. Being over-eager, smothering, always available, pushing too hard, acting weak, trying to force things, acting needy and clingy, being insecure and desperate... These are all turn-offs. Being caring, attentive, sweet, comforting, and a good listener are NOT problems. You can be one without the other. Hell, I do it all the time, and women love it.
zekko
Master Don Juan
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When you say a nice guy will get attached to women, that's falling under the PUA definition of "Nice Guy". Sounds like a guy who doesn't have options. A guy can be nice, have options, and be assertive.
There's nothing wrong with being nice.
"Too nice" is a problem.
Girls will want the alpha guy, but that just means they want the top guy. The guy with the most money, the best player on the basketball team, whatever. The top guy (alpha) is not necessarily the douchebag strong guy - he can be. There are different ways to be alpha.
What helps the douchebag guy out is not caring. He doesn't care about the girl so he doesn't get nervous (which makes you look weak). He's got his eye on screwing the next girl too so he doesn't get needy. That's the advantage the @sshole has. That and the extra experience he gets from going through the extra women (if he's the woman chasing type of douchebag).
There's nothing wrong with being nice.
"Too nice" is a problem.
Girls will want the alpha guy, but that just means they want the top guy. The guy with the most money, the best player on the basketball team, whatever. The top guy (alpha) is not necessarily the douchebag strong guy - he can be. There are different ways to be alpha.
What helps the douchebag guy out is not caring. He doesn't care about the girl so he doesn't get nervous (which makes you look weak). He's got his eye on screwing the next girl too so he doesn't get needy. That's the advantage the @sshole has. That and the extra experience he gets from going through the extra women (if he's the woman chasing type of douchebag).
wait_out
Master Don Juan
This conversation always degenerates into semantics because nice is not a descriptive word. That's why:
1) writing instructors discourage it as an adjective;
2) it's a useful, safe compliment because it doesn't reveal what you really think (which is why IT'S GOLD for a non-confrontational rejection);
3) nobody can ever, ever agree on whether it's good or bad.
What matters are context and non-verbals -- they supersede whatever little intrinsic values the term 'nice' has. The issue is more what unavoidable conclusions about relative value a girl will make, when you go out of your way to make her feel good (as opposed to making her feel good effortlessly). Trying to define this term, as opposed to living with it's intentional lack of definition, is a waste of time!
1) writing instructors discourage it as an adjective;
2) it's a useful, safe compliment because it doesn't reveal what you really think (which is why IT'S GOLD for a non-confrontational rejection);
3) nobody can ever, ever agree on whether it's good or bad.
What matters are context and non-verbals -- they supersede whatever little intrinsic values the term 'nice' has. The issue is more what unavoidable conclusions about relative value a girl will make, when you go out of your way to make her feel good (as opposed to making her feel good effortlessly). Trying to define this term, as opposed to living with it's intentional lack of definition, is a waste of time!
nismo-4
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Nice guys and friends finish last. It means that you are not f**kable. It is also a rejection. Better make more money and make more muscles. That's reality.
Judge Nismo will explain this common case.
The point is:
Stop Being Asexual!
Case closed.
Judge Nismo will explain this common case.
Read between the lines.Deicide said:
The point is:
Stop Being Asexual!
Case closed.
Peace and Quiet
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
That's not good. What you're facing is lack of interest from the get-go. Since girls aren't responsive by your presence, you have to break the ice and make them laugh... Get them comfortable... Enjoy being around you. You have to do more work to open them up since they aren't attracted to you. You can't just be normal, and spark up a boring conversation. You have to let your personality shine, but you have to do it with confidence. Always gotta be on your A-game. Show that you're social and interesting... Someone fun to be around.Deicide said:
It's tough, but when you don't have the looks, you gotta work a little harder to get them interested. You can't just say hi and start talking - then have them show interest. Conversational skills are must. You also need to flirt and show sexual interest - since they aren't going to show it in you. You can't be shy or nervous, because you'll be viewed as low status. They won't say "he's hot; his shyness is cute".
Just the way it is. People with good looks have a lot of advantages and more opportunities, but if you're confident, interesting, social, and aren't afraid to flirt or approach - you have as much of a chance as anybody anyone else.
You absolutely cannot let rejection get to you, or make you feel insecure and unattractive. When you think this way - it shows in your behaviors, and women get turned off. Don't come off as desperate, lonely, unlikeable, etc. Always act like you're a prize; a good catch with options, experience, and standards. Have no fear.
nismo-4
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I had to QFT!!!floydb25 said:
Make do with what you got!
floyd, your words are gold. this is becoming a thread that ought to get bumped up every once in a while. I agree on the shifting definition of what ''nice'' means. Nice=nonsexual is a good simple way of defining it, imho. I don't think I'd ever be able to truly be an a**hole and pull it off convincingly. But I think I can turn up the sexuality a few notches.
btw, since your focus is on attraction, are you talking specifically about physical attraction? Because, there's a limit to what a guy can do about that? I can't make myself any taller, for example. And as I get older it's harder to stay in shape.
btw, since your focus is on attraction, are you talking specifically about physical attraction? Because, there's a limit to what a guy can do about that? I can't make myself any taller, for example. And as I get older it's harder to stay in shape.
So when I cold approach a girl, is it now mandatory for me to tell them they're cute or sexy?
I went to the store today just to get some jerky to supplement my weightlifting(I started last week). I walked by, said Hi to one mature woman, who didn't react well. Said hi to another girl in line. And approached one girl but just let the conversation slip because I'm working on being non-needy. I made her laugh though early on. And another girl smiled and was happy I said Hi to her while we were in line. But I couldn't think of what to say past how are you doing.
I was not nervous or in my head in these interactions. I was calm, and was focused on not being needy. I could've gone back to my old self(not good), and kept on talking and rambling, but it wouldn't have done me any good.
I didn't feel like I needed to attract anyone. I just had the thought that "If I approach, am unreactive and non-needy, then these women will reciprocate".
I've also had a lot of negativity in my head until recently. Like just thinking of going out and meeting women made me feel bad. I'm trying to turn that around and make it feel fun.
Tonight was fun though. But I could've done better, and maybe I should've told the girls the reason I approached too. I feel like I'm starting from scratch and getting over bad habits.
I went to the store today just to get some jerky to supplement my weightlifting(I started last week). I walked by, said Hi to one mature woman, who didn't react well. Said hi to another girl in line. And approached one girl but just let the conversation slip because I'm working on being non-needy. I made her laugh though early on. And another girl smiled and was happy I said Hi to her while we were in line. But I couldn't think of what to say past how are you doing.
I was not nervous or in my head in these interactions. I was calm, and was focused on not being needy. I could've gone back to my old self(not good), and kept on talking and rambling, but it wouldn't have done me any good.
I didn't feel like I needed to attract anyone. I just had the thought that "If I approach, am unreactive and non-needy, then these women will reciprocate".
I've also had a lot of negativity in my head until recently. Like just thinking of going out and meeting women made me feel bad. I'm trying to turn that around and make it feel fun.
Tonight was fun though. But I could've done better, and maybe I should've told the girls the reason I approached too. I feel like I'm starting from scratch and getting over bad habits.
wait_out
Master Don Juan
No! Puzzle for you... why would a girl want to bang you before you've said ONE WORD to her?Deicide said:
Think about that!