This Brings Us to an Additional Question
I'm glad to see this debate has made significant progress. I guess I have two, comments and questions and would appreciate folks responses on this. Does it ever happen sometimes, that some women might feel intimidated by a man's good looks and therefore decide to act *****y, give fake numbers and come up with zillions of excuses because they felt he was out of their league? We've often heard that this has been the case in terms of some men who approach so-called good looking women, but does this also happen the other way around?
I prefer to be humble about my looks as well as other things, that's the way I am, and that's how I choose to be. In my interactions with a good number of women in clubs, bars, with random strangers I have approached on the street and in other locations, I have often been called "cute," and "handsome." One of my American friends, but in this case, a white friend of mine, jokingly used to call me the African Denzel Washington, something I never encourage him to do. Physically, I have made tremendous improvement in terms of my build, becoming this huge, muscular due with quite some huge biceps, a big chest, flat stomach and an almost six pack. This is a big transformation from the skinny, tall guy I was when I first began going to the gym consistently last spring. Now, my question is to those who significantly believe that being a muscular guy improves the possibility that women will approach you, hit on you, and that your interactions with them will produce better results.
While I do get second looks from women when I walk into rooms from time to time, and sideways glances, including for example, from female students at my university who turned me down in the past, I have never found myself in a position where a woman has approached me. Most women who have hit on me have been African women here in the U.S. who I became familar with while an undergraduate student at my former university, and from women in my country during my high school days. Back in my home country, I had more girlfriends than I could count. In terms of American women, I've often been the one making the move, even if I may get a vibe that the woman may be checking me out. I know it's more expected that a man should make the first move, but women here are bold enough to step up to the plate and hit on men who they find attractive. The only time an American woman hit on me was at a night club three years ago, over the summer. At that time, I was nowhere near as buff as I am now. She was with a friend and kept looking at me, and I was by myself. She pointed to a group of girls on the dance floor and asked me if I came with them. I said "no." Then I kept noticing this twinkle in her eye and a shy smile, and I asked her if she wanted to dance with me, which we did for almost two hours. But then at the end of it all, I thought I had saved her number in my cell phone, only to discover the following day that it hadn't even been saved. And she was a cool person...intellectual, a sixth-grade teacher. I went back to that club a few times hoping to see if I'll run into her again, but never did.
Part Two: On Physical Attraction
My second and last question/comment has to do with this: Based on your responses so far and what we've been talking about, is this what folks have in mind when they refer to the term "physical attraction?" During my skinny days, when I used to really struggle a whole lot with most American women, one of my two, older brothers (both of them have been lifting weights since the early 90's, are really huge, and have had overall, a lot better experiences in the dating game during their college years than me) said to me: "There's also this thing called physical attraction. "Basically," he continued, " a hot chick wants a hot guy. If you're trying to get with a hot chick, she too needs to feel that she's getting something in return." I took this to understand for example, that a woman with a ridiculously long, big butt (my kind of woman) would want to get something in return from any man she gets with, since she knows what she has, and the high demand for it. During my skinny days, I used to get rejected from more than one Phat Ass woman than I could count. I think there's only been one out of all the ones I approached who responded somewhat positively. But now, here I am at my gym, getting a woman much bigger than me(tall and huge, quite intimidating to many men, with a ridiculously long, Phat butt, who's actually rejecting men her size and bigger) to be checking me out regularly, and also, coincidentally, getting women who've been ignored and rejected me in the past to begin showing signs of interest in me. So is this how the game works? A chick would think to herself, "Ok, I know I have a phat ass. So what do you bring to the table?"
