Who "enjoys" approaching women?

[Interested2]

Who actually "enjoys" approaching some girl you've never met before and hitting on her? I ask this becuase so far I haven't. Far from it. So far I would have to say I really "dislike" doing it. I still do talk to them though. I wonder if my success rates would be better if I enjoyed it? How do you enjoy it?

I think this is an important question for guys here on this board as you read a lot of posts where guys really seem to be "forcing" themselves to do something they really do not like doing.

So for those who do enjoy it - please tell us how we can enjoy it too

thanks

 

[Borknagar]

I hate it with a passion, cause I have hardly any experience in even having female friends let alone girlfriends.

I'm afraid she'll reject me and embarass me, or I'll screw up.

 

[SC]

LOL its not necessarily the path but the objective


How many people really like climbing the Mountain. But once they reach the top they look back ans say man that was awsome.

Get me on this!!


Its all about the end result. We go talk to hot girls cause we have to--now if the girl is receptive and cool and NOT FAT then it turns into fun real quick--but if the girl is a biatch then it sucks of course and that is why we are here to learn how to deal and get passed that--or at least one of the reasons

 

[cableboy]

at first i did, but now i enjoy meeting girls. it may not always end with a number, but just talking to them, and being friendly/social is pleasant. when you give yourself certain goals ("i have to approach 10 girls this week") then it becomes a chore. approach when you have a good opportunity and when you're in the mood. just don't force it...since that probably makes it most unpleasant.

 

[DonJoey]

i hate 'picking up' with a vengeance, so I now approach every women with the intention of being friends with her, chit chat, even being rude or a little crude with a comment etc.

Dont get me wrong, i'm not trying to be friends or anything like that, but by using this approach I remove the pressure on myself to succeed.
Now you may be asking why i'd wanna use this approach on a woman, the reason is that whenever you approach a woman, she's not stupid, she'll automatically assume you're trying to pick her up.
This usually happens 90% of the time as most women have egos the size of a small country.

You can usually spot from the vibe right off if she'd be worth pursuing anyway, and your relaxed attitude when you approach can make you seem more confident.

 

[bashful]

I was about to post the same thing Don JOEy, you took my post right from me.

What else can i say. He's dead on. Thats just how i talk to girls because like he said, they do automatically assume your tryin to hit on them. And they do have HUUUUUGGGEEE ego's no matter how subtle they try to come off. They expect you to hit on them. But if you just come as a friend, she will respect you 10 times more.

Sometimes just having girls as friends helps you with the ladies. Thats for all of you obsessed about picking up women.

 

[Take No Dirt]

So many pretty women get hit on daily. They never really get "used to it" so when you come along, they immediately say to themselves 'here we go again....' To score with these women, you need to be different. Don't come on too strong with them. Let them feel safe around you. Lighten them up with a little humor and project an air of fun. Let your confidence display itself and she'll lower her guard and let you into her life.

 

[Interested2]

First I am glad this thread is getting some good replies cuz I feel this is VERY important.

Don Joey - yes as a rule she assumes you are hitting on her. I like the just be friends to start approach becuase I think you should do this anyway. You have to find out what she's like. Still doesnt seem to take the pressure of me so far though.

I would like to hear more responses on how to enjoy the process cuz I feel that the ammount of nerves I feel is probably affecting my success rate. So far when I approach chicks I get very nervous still. This is after many many many approaches over a long period

 

[bashful]

interested,
I know how you feel, i get nervous too. A lot of times still, i dont even consider doing it. get tired of all the same responses. No, No,i have a byfriend...blah blah...whats the point of trying? It gets stupid approaching girls after a while. Plus it takes too much time out of my day. So, if we become friends cause were in class so be, if not, big deal....sooo what.


Nobody likes approaching girls they dont know. Like i said, most girls are stuck on looks and a guys appearance. Nobody likes to be judged. If you dont like to be judged, dont approach girls. Cause really all it is,is a dumb stupid audition. Saying: will you like me??? Even if you come off as your the shyt, the object is, "will you like me?" do you like me?" am i cute enough to be with you?"

Remember like i said, girls are heartless to when we guyd get rejected. When you get rejected by them, all it does is boost their ego even more. Yet, girls are too nervous to come up to us. Because their wusses. But, they have no simpithy for a guy who is nice and shy....oooh the irony.

Keep in mind girls are just dumb objects,ignore them sometimes, and you'll be surprised you still might get some to approach you, cause you seem harmless.


Please believe it,
Bashes

 

[Shiftkey]

I have fun approaching women because I make a game out of it by trying to make THEM nervous and flustered.

 

[BigBill]

With me it depends a lot on my mood.

At school I do a lot of approaching and get good results and have a lot of fun.

On the other end of the extreme was a few weeks ago I went to this club alone cause on of the girls I met at school was tending bar there and told me shesd buy me a drink if I stopped in and said hi.

The place was packed, all kinds of people, I was expecting a more low-key atmosphere and I found I was really intimidated by the surroundings. I had my drink, and I wanted to go and try starting some convos but man, I just was NOT into it that night.

Usually I go with friends if I go to a club, being there really not knowing anyone but the bartender who was too busy to talk was very disconcerting. Normally i'm one of the most confident, smooth, charismatic guys in a place, but that night I was like a... well, I was almost like John.

Scary thought. Anyhow I thought about it alot. I'm going to try the same thing this next week and this time I'm going to start slow by making conversation with GUYS that look cool. I figure if I can pick up a group of friends or a cool wingman on the fly and THEN start talking to girls it may help me from feeling so nervous.

Funny how I talk to girls alone just about anywhere else and froze up in a stupid club of all places.

 

[Pedro]

I think Interested2 wanted to talk about other thing...
When I want to have something from a girl, I just can't get very well. If I don't have any intentions, I feel always great. But if I just want something from her, I never feel good, I feel like I would be carrying a big weight...ufff I have NO fun at all approaching women...
I would really LOVE to know how to enjoy it...I repeat, even if it's the best girl, best conversation and so on, I always start to hesitate...then to think "is now the right moment" ? and so on....and then normally nothing happens...

Not an attitude problem. I have the attitude. I just don't care about them. I am what I am, I do what I want, and I'm proud of it !

 

[Sting]

The key word in this thread seems to be the word "approach." The word, however, can mean anything from walking up to a woman cold and spouting some line to accidentally bumping into a woman and starting a conversation. How a woman reacts depends on whether you give her an opportunity to raise her defenses. Consequently, the best opportunity is when a woman is caught off guard.

I don't like approaching women cold -- the difficulty level is significantly higher than say, starting a casual conversation while you are both working side by side at some activity. The successfulness of your approach depends on how well you position yourself before the "approach."

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It could happen to you, just like it happened to me, there is simply no immunity, there's no guarantee...

[This message has been edited by Sting (edited 10-09-2001).]

 

[john]

me personally: HATE IT! i wish i could sign a contract stating that i will marry a certain girl of my choosing when i turn
30- something and not have to talk to a girl until then.

 

[bclarke675]

In my experience, it seems to me that the only guys that really enjoy approaching women are the guys who are so confident that they usually succeed in getting a woman interested in them. I have a friend who's married now, but before he was married, and even sometimes now, he was/is a master at approaching women and getting them interested quickly. I was at a bar with him last week, and he got the hottest woman in the place to offer her number unsolicited, as well as put his face in her tits!

He's not handsome or tall. He does have a great deal of charisma and personality, as well as enough confidence for 10 men. He was this way before he married his wife, and he'll be this way the rest of his life. He approaches every woman as a game (think Nintendo) to be played and defeated. This makes it fun, and he's practiced so long and well that he can beat the game (the woman) 90% of the time. He can even succeed in scoring women for his friends if he chooses to. This gal last week ended up going home with the guitar player in his band (no, they weren't playing, just hanging at the bar on karaoke night) because he gave the guitar player her number that she gave him!

Anyway, it appears that unless you can find a way to make it a game, you're not going to enjoy approaching women. Period!!!

 

[maranathaman]

Originally posted by Interested2:
Who actually "enjoys" approaching some girl you've never met before and hitting on her? I ask this becuase so far I haven't. Far from it. So far I would have to say I really "dislike" doing it. I still do talk to them though. I wonder if my success rates would be better if I enjoyed it? How do you enjoy it?

I think this is an important question for guys here on this board as you read a lot of posts where guys really seem to be "forcing" themselves to do something they really do not like doing.

So for those who do enjoy it - please tell us how we can enjoy it too

thanks

I confess that I often get a hardon when I'm hitting on a woman, because it's exciting especially if there's mutual flirting &/or Kino going on!



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"Before you sign a new act, find out if they are wack!"

 

[REd-xL]

You need some help on this issue? Simple: ask yourself why you dislike approaching girls, then ask yourself if your reasons are an excuse for cowardice, then think about what you need to do to change it.

Rx

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REd-xL (19) California

The only failure in seduction is letting one get away. -Jerome

 

[bashful]

bclark: your friend must have a lot og time on his hands to be concerned about pickin up chicks all the time.

I have other things going on in my life to be too concerned about tryin to pick up girls. Girls will be around our whole life.

Its best to just sit back and let life let things come to you. You'd be surprised at how beautiful life is when you sit back and smell the roses. Girls will notice your disconcern and find it different then come to you.

The bee goes to the plant, the plant doesnt go to the bee.

think about it.


Please believe it,
Bashes

 

[Oliver]

I think the best approach is to NOT THINK
Seriously, any though just glow from your face and your body language. I think it best just to roll up, start talking and really not give a ****. It takes a good ten minutes of conversation before a woman takes ANY interest in you whatsoever, so in the meantime just let it happen and then liven it up as common interests are realised. Beiung too lively too early is a turnoff because there is nothing to be excited about, so it looks fake.
A funny pick up line, joke or wierd behaviour works better in the early stages because it is impersonal and a reflection of YOUR intriguing character.

 

[bashful]

just a quick story:

I walked up to these two pretty girls at a club one time. Why???? dont ask, it was a stupid decision. If you dont look good to girls, they wont even look your way. Thats what ive noticed. They dont even seem concerned about anything about you. One, their embarassed to be around you. Two, what would their gf's think?

if your funny, oh sure, you'll get their attention. But it wont last but for so long. What if you want to talk seriously? You think they wanna hear that? Nope! keep the funny stuff coming. Neg hits, or whatever else you guys say to do. Having good character but no looks only slaps you right in the friend zone.


And you guys know it. but it seems some of you just fighting the truth.

Im only saying this because of what ive seen in my life with my own two eyes. You cant deny what you see.