Who "enjoys" approaching women?

[MrSassyPants]

Bashful is here for one reason... the more people he can bring down with his negative attitude, the less he has to focus on his own failings. He enjoys wallowing in his own misery and the feeling of pity that he pours all over himself.

 

[Average Joe]

Enjoy? Forget it!

I see a pretty girl, I assume she already has a hundred guys to pick from. I want to be another on her list?

The fat ugly or downright butt ugly girls are easy to approach about anything because I already know I woudnt ask them out. But the lookers? Nope. Not for me.

There must be hundreds of books and internet sites dealing with advice on how to get girls. But Im a realist. Im a loser with hotties. No matter what I ever read or do Ill never feel good about talking to a pretty girl.

I doubt if Ill ever know why. But at least I know its true.

 

[Persistant]

Truly a wonderful defeatists attitude!
You go girl!

 

[Pedro]

I guess I have the intermediate feelings...if for friendship and so on, I always do very well and have a lot of fun.

But if I am with someone I'm interested, past two/three dates, I start being tense...very tense and I'm always thinking when should I make the move...I always think that's not the good moment, and...I don't have fun !

 

[cmsienko]

I'd just as soon not get TOO far into this sh*t-storm, but just two things I'd like to add:

- If looks are the only thing that matters, how do you explain Ric Ocasek and Paulina Porizkova (sp?), Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts, Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley, Christopher Guest and Jamie Lee Curtis, Vince Neil and Janine, Woody Allen and Diane Keaton (and Mia Farrow!), etc. etc.? "Women are attracted to power" is one possible answer, but I don't think it's always true in these cases. Many of the guys in these couples (Guest, Lovett and the quite hated by then Vince Neil) had less "pull" in the industry.

- If "all" 21 year old girls only care about looks, I suggest packing up your bags and moving somewhere else in the country! Maybe you live in a smaller town, where looks and popularity do count for a lot. But it's not like that everywhere. Even just checking out different places to go, things to do in your own town will unearth a whole trove of ladies who might be interested in dating someone with the albatross around the neck called "he's not very cute, but he's sure talented." As someone who came from a bum-f*ck town and moved to a much larger one, I can say it's not like that everywhere. If the gals you know are all shallow and looks-obsessed, find yourself a new place to look for women! Avoid women that watch "Dawnson's Creek" and talk about the characters after the show. Find ones that read, cherish ideas, think about life's big mysteries...I assure you, they DO exist, and some are even younger than 21! I know at least one 18 year old lady (emphasis on "lady") who knows Hegelian philosophy better than most community college professors, and I guarantee she isn't an anomaly of the universe!

- I agree. You should never change because a woman wants you to. If your woman is one of those types that thinks, "Oh, if he only stopped doing this this and this, and started doing that that and that, then everything would be okay," get yourself the hell on, or tell her to do the same. On the other hand, I'd be careful to confuse not changing for a woman with not changing ever out of spite. People who don't change or improve some portion of themselves over 5, 10, 20 years aren't "committed to themselves." If you're committed to yourself, you're constantly in the process of improving yourself, becasue nobody is born perfect (or maybe I'm wrong. If you're born perfect, F*cking congratulations! I'd like to shake your hand), and there's always things you can do better. If you care at all about your own life and its place in the world, and don't just want to get your share of the oxygen and the protein strands, you'll be in constant change. Or at least upgrading. Don't ever change for anyone else, of course. But if you don't go out of the way to improve yourself, you'll probably still be sitting in front of this computer in 10 years, shooting down optimistic people who are actually going out and getting their piece of the action, and won't that be a fun realization. Hide the razor blades on that night.

- Nothing makes you less attractive, "beautiful person" or not, to the opposite sex like a dark cloud over your head.

- Finally, consider the lillies in the field. Oops, sorry, let me start again. Finally, consider porn actor Ron Jeremy. I think we can all agree, one of the ugliest men in porn. Looks like one of our uncles, but the gals he's with, onscreen and off, sure as hell don't look like our aunts! Fine, he's got a big ****, but I firmly (heh) believe that he wouldn't have been kept in the industry as long as he has just on the basis of his **** and the fact that he already knows the filming routine. Listen to that guy in interviews...he's smooth like a baby's ass. He oozes charisma (and a few other bodily fluids). And he's consistently allowed himself to go to hell physically year after year for gooing on 15+ years of his nearly 25 year career. You think they let that **** slide on anybody but a real smooth bastard like Jeremy? He gets more chicks than ever despite having credibility zero among his peers and being a huge joke among the majority of porn fans. How? My hypothesis is a combination of talent, dedication, determination, instinct, and the very crucial skill of learning from one's mistakes.

Go out and be like Ron Jeremy. But hold back on the fatty foods and keep on that treadmill until you've really got your steez in really tip top shape.



[This message has been edited by cmsienko (edited 10-26-2001).]

 

[318 Most Hated]

*revised again....*

 

[ESPN]

This is DJBIBLE material.

 

[KCFlyer]

On the subject of whether looks matter or not. Of course they do. But that's why you need to approach as many women as you can. Your looks will determine part (not all) of your success rate. Remember we're not looking to pick up every girl we talk to. (not enough time

They evaluate us, and we evaluate them. Just play the game, and don't take things too seriously. A rejection early on is better than wasting time in a relationship with the wrong person. Also, do you ever want to be to shy to talk to a new hottie. Play the game...

 

[ESPN]

Your looks will determine part (not all) of your success rate

I don't agree with this one, looks will determine your success rate in ONS, but not in the Dating Game.
If you a guy, than can take care of yourself, know your own body, you can improve your physical charm.
You must use what you have.
For the example:
Knowing certain types of clothes that fits better with your body.
Knowing that certain ways you look a woman, will make yourself more attractive.
Finding the best way to you walk, the one that fits better with yourself.
The best haircut.
Etc.

The key is use what you have, and make it work in your favor.
You don't need to be the hotter guy out there, you just need to be happy with yourself.
Make sure you are in your best.
Your personality will close the deal.


ESPN

[This message has been edited by ESPN (edited 03-12-2002).]

 

[Bonhomme]

Do I enjoy approaching women?

Definitely!

Because I tend to approach women who are *approachable*. Not hard to tell once you learn the basics.

If you want to get shot down, approach all the women *you* think are hot. If you want to have fun, approach all the women who indicate they think *you're* hot!

When the charisma is flowing, and I'm "on," gals *do* pursue me... or at least make it obvious they want me to come on over and say "hi."

On the other hand, if a gal doesn't signal me or return my smile, I just won't bother.

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If you're not good looking (I consider myself above average, though hardly GQ), you are at a disadvantage, and have to work a bit harder to make yourself look the best you can. Experiment with hairstyles, clothes, even facial hair. If Serge Gainsbourg could hook up with hotties...

 

[attract_this]

Hey... lol.. now when I look at this post the first thing I think is AFC.

ok.. the thing I think is the most fun, is going out on a friday night, or saturday night and just finding a hot girl I can go test myself on. My state of mind is, I wanna see if this chick can play the game as well as she looks. You are looking at approaching women totally wrong! You are looking at it in the sense of, I have a chance to get denied, I'm not sure if i wanna do this, look now i have butterflys in my stomach. Holy Sh!t, dude, seriously, the best thing about meeting chicks you dont know, is if you really do get rejected, the chance you're gonna see her is like none.

Take my advice, its some o' the best

tj

toddpfrem@hotmail.com
*treat women like angels because around them you're always in heaven

 

[TheTrimReaper]

I'm addressing Bashfuls post on a 2 woman approach. Friday Night, I successfully accomplished this with a pre-approach. I was talking with a friend, and spotted two hotties at the bar. When the one I wanted looked in my direction, I gave her the biggest grin. And I didn't look away. I kept looking until she blushed and then told her friend. Her friend glanced and did the,"Oh my God."

Boy, was I really surprised.(sarcasm) Girls love to be noticed, and there's nothing that breaks down their defenses like a big, honest, charming smile. Looking one extended time works well because it shows confidence. However, when you do this, the approach should be soon, since you don't want to come across as a stalker.

After talking to her, which was pretty easy because I had already shown a few positive traits with my actions, she said she thought I was a weirdo when she saw me look over. *Neg Hit* So I neg hit her and put her right back in her place. Both she and I knew it was a turn on.

In regards to the original post:
Approaching girls isn't sh*t. Compare it to the emotional pains you will experience in this life(losing loved ones, getting fired, losing your pet, having your stock turn into a junk bond), and you can see just how trivial the approach is.

If you start to feel nervous, anxious, or scared, that's your problem. You have to learn to control your emotions. That's the only hard part. We deal with women because we have to. Keep that in mind.

You don't need to love it or hate it. You just need to do it.

 

[the graphics guy]

You don't need to love it or hate it. You just need to do it.

Bingo, Reaper!

Actually I love to meet chycks, especially when i don't "need" to. And that's the whole point! It's just a big hoot, and those who find it the most painful need to lighten up a whole lot until they view it as a game, playtime, amusement.

The best way to do this is to not give a sh1t, you don't have a care in the world, and it is YOU who are giving theis friggin' chyck the opportunity to have some fun, and it's HER tough luck if she's too foolish to avail herself of it.
Kudos to Pook, too. Good attitude, dude. That's what wins ball games and wars, as well as pu$$y.

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Bro's rule, grrrls drool!

 

[JTRIZO]

Want to enjoy it?

12 Pack of Budwieser(Or your fav. brand),is the answer.

Otherwise,It is HELLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!

JTRIZO

 

[cyclonus]

I think Bashful quit posting a long time ago. Had I been a mod, I'd have tried to get him banned.

 

[koolbreeze]

You have to look at it like.. "all she can say is NO....be glad is she does because you are one step closer to that yes!..just keep plugging away and after a while it will be just natural..remember your 5 friends are who, what, where, when and why....good luck from the breeze.

 

[koolbreeze]

Good one Pook,,,I never looked at myself as the prize...good stuff bro.

Originally posted by Pook:
I love approaching women! Here's a way to look at it:

We are all in constant self-improvement. Our past selves are always less evolved then our present form. Let us see the difference between Pook Version 1.2 and Pook Version 2.9.

Pook Version 1.2

In this version of Pook, we find that he is shedding off that Nice Guy straitjacket. He knows he ought to approach. Unfortunately, he sees it as a chore.

So enters a beautiful chick. Poor Pook feels himself freezing up. He bites the bullet and goes talk to her.

"Hi."
"Hello."
"So... what you up to?"
"Just grocery shopping. Ran out of food, got to get some more, you know?" (Pause) "You?"
"Oh... The same. Well, cya."

No, you are quite correct, this was pathetic. At the time, my mind did not think this. Rather, I was thinking, "You have accomplished your mission. You have approached the chick. Well done."

With that type of thinking, no wonder I wasn't having any fun!

Pook Version 2.9

Now let us see how a more recent version of Pook.

Enters a beautiful woman in the bread section of the store.
I approach. "So, you like bread too!"
She laughs. "Yes."
"Here, try this one!" I toss some bread at her.
"Potato bread!? No, I don't think so." Laughing, she puts it back.
Now I say, "Have you seen (X) product? Don't just stand there! Come on!" I take her hand and we go across the store.

Now, this Pook is crazy. She gives him her number. What is the difference between 2.9's mind and 1.2's mind?

The difference is,

1) The earlier Pook saw the approach as the WOMAN to be the prize to be won. The later Pook saw HIMSELF as the prize. The early Pook saw the approach as a mission, the later pook saw the approach as an opportunity for fun.

2) The earlier Pook tries to make things fun for the woman and fails. The later Pook doesn't care and focuses on HIS feelings, in other words, he has fun himself.

The early Pook thinks, "Oh my. I hope I am doing things correctly. Is she smiling? Is she keeping eye contact? Is SHE having fun?"

The later Pook thinks, "Wheeeeeeeeeeee!"

Have fun! To hell with formulas and rules. As long as I have fun, what does it matter if she rejects me or not? I think, "Well, she doesn't know how to have fun!"

Focus on having fun then on avoiding the pain of rejection or loneliness. The carrot is more attractive to her then the stick.

Quit taking this so seriously! These are GIRLS. GIRLS! What are they going to do to you? Beat you up?

You like having fun, right? Then do it! Be playful. Be crazy. Do what makes YOU have fun, and see if she'll go along for the ride.

No more nervousness! No more shyness! Those originate in you worrying how you will be percieved. Rather, everything is in how you percieve yourself.

This makes the difference.

 

[Man Of Adventure]

Originally posted by bclarke675:
In my experience, it seems to me that the only guys that really enjoy approaching women are the guys who are so confident that they usually succeed in getting a woman interested in them. I have a friend who's married now, but before he was married, and even sometimes now, he was/is a master at approaching women and getting them interested quickly. I was at a bar with him last week, and he got the hottest woman in the place to offer her number unsolicited, as well as put his face in her tits!

He's not handsome or tall. He does have a great deal of charisma and personality, as well as enough confidence for 10 men. He was this way before he married his wife, and he'll be this way the rest of his life. He approaches every woman as a game (think Nintendo) to be played and defeated. This makes it fun, and he's practiced so long and well that he can beat the game (the woman) 90% of the time. He can even succeed in scoring women for his friends if he chooses to. This gal last week ended up going home with the guitar player in his band (no, they weren't playing, just hanging at the bar on karaoke night) because he gave the guitar player her number that she gave him!

Anyway, it appears that unless you can find a way to make it a game, you're not going to enjoy approaching women. Period!!!

Hahaha, cool man. If I had that much persistance in girls as I do Roleplaying games. Itll be about 60 or so hours before I beat her (if shes REAL difficult)

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Stop pursuing, and make them be on the chase.-MOA

 

[T Dog]

I didn't read everyones post so I don't know if anyone has my same thoughts on this.
----

was bored. read through the posts. Damn, I missed some real good shyte! I should have started reading this one a long time ago!
-----

Only resently started enjoying going up to and talking with women. I really enjoy talking to people in general, but until recently it really DID feel like a chore, as many of you have said.

Approaching women in genereal was no problem, unless I was really attracted to them. Then I USED to trip up and convert to a AFC.

What changed in me fianlly realizing that only 5% of the girls I may met have some real quality or substance and not just looks.

So I would she a hot girl I was attarcted to checking me out and then I would lose my nerve and get worked out inside. Really I was putting them on a pedastol before I even knew anything about them. Once I fianlly approached them I'd realize taht they were dumb as a sack of blonde hair, or a *****, or whatever. But just not worth the pedastole I had orginally put them on.

Then after realizing how dumb that was and how many oppertunities that I was missind out on I vowed never again to worry if she is too hot or not. I never want to miss a chance with a girl because I was too AFC not to approach them.

After that it was no longer a chore and the weigh was lifted.

Now when I see a hot chick, I'm more worried about coming up with a good excuse to talk than be scared to talk to her.

T Dog

[This message has been edited by T Dog (edited 03-15-2002).]

 

[Wolf in sheep's clothing]

Originally posted by cyclonus:
I think Bashful quit posting a long time ago. Had I been a mod, I'd have tried to get him banned.

You cant have good without evil, and you cant have DJs without AFCs. I think people like bashful are good for this board as they remind us of our past AFC-ways and teach us what we really should be striving for. I like learning from other people's stupidity

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"Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'" - Homer J. Simpson