I love approaching women! Here's a way to look at it:
We are all in constant self-improvement. Our past selves are always less evolved then our present form. Let us see the difference between Pook Version 1.2 and Pook Version 2.9.
Pook Version 1.2
In this version of Pook, we find that he is shedding off that Nice Guy straitjacket. He knows he ought to approach. Unfortunately, he sees it as a chore.
So enters a beautiful chick. Poor Pook feels himself freezing up. He bites the bullet and goes talk to her.
"Hi."
"Hello."
"So... what you up to?"
"Just grocery shopping. Ran out of food, got to get some more, you know?" (Pause) "You?"
"Oh... The same. Well, cya."
No, you are quite correct, this was pathetic. At the time, my mind did not think this. Rather, I was thinking, "You have accomplished your mission. You have approached the chick. Well done."
With that type of thinking, no wonder I wasn't having any fun!
Pook Version 2.9
Now let us see how a more recent version of Pook.
Enters a beautiful woman in the bread section of the store.
I approach. "So, you like bread too!"
She laughs. "Yes."
"Here, try this one!" I toss some bread at her.
"Potato bread!? No, I don't think so." Laughing, she puts it back.
Now I say, "Have you seen (X) product? Don't just stand there! Come on!" I take her hand and we go across the store.
Now, this Pook is crazy. She gives him her number. What is the difference between 2.9's mind and 1.2's mind?
The difference is,
1) The earlier Pook saw the approach as the WOMAN to be the prize to be won. The later Pook saw HIMSELF as the prize. The early Pook saw the approach as a mission, the later pook saw the approach as an opportunity for fun.
2) The earlier Pook tries to make things fun for the woman and fails. The later Pook doesn't care and focuses on HIS feelings, in other words, he has fun himself.
The early Pook thinks, "Oh my. I hope I am doing things correctly. Is she smiling? Is she keeping eye contact? Is SHE having fun?"
The later Pook thinks, "Wheeeeeeeeeeee!"
Have fun! To hell with formulas and rules. As long as I have fun, what does it matter if she rejects me or not? I think, "Well, she doesn't know how to have fun!"
Focus on having fun then on avoiding the pain of rejection or loneliness. The carrot is more attractive to her then the stick.
Quit taking this so seriously! These are GIRLS. GIRLS! What are they going to do to you? Beat you up?
You like having fun, right? Then do it! Be playful. Be crazy. Do what makes YOU have fun, and see if she'll go along for the ride.
No more nervousness! No more shyness! Those originate in you worrying how you will be percieved. Rather, everything is in how you percieve yourself.
This makes the difference.
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Pook
"As you think, you shall become."
"The biggest risk you can take is not to risk at all."