My girlfriend started summer school about two weeks ago. In her class, she met two guys who sit up in the front with her. The guys have a class before their class together so during that gap, they get together and study for their evening class (the class w/ my gf)
She joined their study group so as a trio, they study during the days they have class. Yesterday night, she calls me while coming home from dinner with her sisters. Because of bad reception, she had to call me back. When we talked again, she told me she was going to take a shower and that she would "call me right back" after she showered. (Usually, when she showers in the evening, it means she intends to go out)
An hour passed. She then calls me back and I can tell she's driving and already on her way somewhere.
Her: "What are you doing?
Me: "Chillin, you?"
Her: "I'm on my way to hang out with my class mates."
Me: "Which classmates? The ones in your summer school class?"
Her: "Yea."
Her: "Remember how I told you how one of the guys is a club promoter? Well we're probably going to hang out at one of the clubs he promotes. I don't know exactly which one, but I hope its not one in downtown."
At that point, I was sooo turned off and after so much silence, I replied, "Well, have fun tonight. I'll just talk to you later."
Her: "I'll call you later, ok?"
Me: "Yea" (Hangs up)
I totally felt that it was inconsiderate that:
1) She didn't even tell me beforehand that she was going out with them. Especially in such an environment. She waited til she was already on her way to then ask.
2) She didn't even offer to invite me along with them.
Eventually when she called me back, I confronted her about how I felt. I told her reasons 1 & 2. She felt that she did nothing wrong and that she was not inconsiderate. She also felt it was not a big deal, because they are her good friends. GOOD FRIENDS?! Do you know their last names? Do you know their family? Do you know their past? You just barely met them 2 weeks ago!
Basically I just told her that this was more of an issue of her being more considerate and respecting her boundaries. I told her I didn't appreciate how she was the only girl out along with two guys at a club.
I also brought up, why couldn't other people have came along? Why couldn't you have brought along another girl friend? She got defensive and said she "didn't want to babysit someone else." I then asked her, "Bringing along a friend is babysitting? Why, because you just want all the attention u can get by being the only girl between two guys?" I told her, "You can't be doing some of the things you used to do when you were single. You're in a committed relationship now, so you need to learn to compromise sometimes and do things appropriately."
She then argued that she wouldn't care if I was out late with one of my female friends because she trusts me. I told her I didn't believe her because she has a rich history of being jealous whenever I do get close to other females. She was totally bluffing just to reason out things on her terms.
She refused to see things my way. She refused to even consider hearing me out that I was trying to be constructive on all this and not trying to kick up dust and drama with her.
After a while, I was just so fed up that I told her, "I'm just going to chill right now. I'll let you get ready for bed. I'll just talk to you tomorrow."
Her: "K!" (Hangs up on me!)
And I haven't heard from her since yesterday evening. Was I justified in being concerned? Was I wrong in confronting her about this? She made me totally feel like I was the bad guy who was overreacting on something that wasn't a "big deal." Her favorite defensive words are "it's not a big deal."
I don't want to call her, because likewise, I don't feel like I did anything wrong either. What should I do?
She joined their study group so as a trio, they study during the days they have class. Yesterday night, she calls me while coming home from dinner with her sisters. Because of bad reception, she had to call me back. When we talked again, she told me she was going to take a shower and that she would "call me right back" after she showered. (Usually, when she showers in the evening, it means she intends to go out)
An hour passed. She then calls me back and I can tell she's driving and already on her way somewhere.
Her: "What are you doing?
Me: "Chillin, you?"
Her: "I'm on my way to hang out with my class mates."
Me: "Which classmates? The ones in your summer school class?"
Her: "Yea."
Her: "Remember how I told you how one of the guys is a club promoter? Well we're probably going to hang out at one of the clubs he promotes. I don't know exactly which one, but I hope its not one in downtown."
At that point, I was sooo turned off and after so much silence, I replied, "Well, have fun tonight. I'll just talk to you later."
Her: "I'll call you later, ok?"
Me: "Yea" (Hangs up)
I totally felt that it was inconsiderate that:
1) She didn't even tell me beforehand that she was going out with them. Especially in such an environment. She waited til she was already on her way to then ask.
2) She didn't even offer to invite me along with them.
Eventually when she called me back, I confronted her about how I felt. I told her reasons 1 & 2. She felt that she did nothing wrong and that she was not inconsiderate. She also felt it was not a big deal, because they are her good friends. GOOD FRIENDS?! Do you know their last names? Do you know their family? Do you know their past? You just barely met them 2 weeks ago!
Basically I just told her that this was more of an issue of her being more considerate and respecting her boundaries. I told her I didn't appreciate how she was the only girl out along with two guys at a club.
I also brought up, why couldn't other people have came along? Why couldn't you have brought along another girl friend? She got defensive and said she "didn't want to babysit someone else." I then asked her, "Bringing along a friend is babysitting? Why, because you just want all the attention u can get by being the only girl between two guys?" I told her, "You can't be doing some of the things you used to do when you were single. You're in a committed relationship now, so you need to learn to compromise sometimes and do things appropriately."
She then argued that she wouldn't care if I was out late with one of my female friends because she trusts me. I told her I didn't believe her because she has a rich history of being jealous whenever I do get close to other females. She was totally bluffing just to reason out things on her terms.
She refused to see things my way. She refused to even consider hearing me out that I was trying to be constructive on all this and not trying to kick up dust and drama with her.
After a while, I was just so fed up that I told her, "I'm just going to chill right now. I'll let you get ready for bed. I'll just talk to you tomorrow."
Her: "K!" (Hangs up on me!)
And I haven't heard from her since yesterday evening. Was I justified in being concerned? Was I wrong in confronting her about this? She made me totally feel like I was the bad guy who was overreacting on something that wasn't a "big deal." Her favorite defensive words are "it's not a big deal."
I don't want to call her, because likewise, I don't feel like I did anything wrong either. What should I do?
) and have fun. See how she reacts. Make some new prospects for yourself in case she does decide to leave. Maybe she will realize that you have other options too and she shouldn't take your feelings for granted. 
