When a Woman Likes You... (DJs Please Add to This Thread)

[Harry Wilmington]

Hey guys:

I'm on these boards at least once or twice a day (or more if I'm responding to stuff), and it saddens me when I see guys posting on here who just don't seem to get how simple dating really is.

They post these stories up here about these girls they're interested in, and they're perplexed because the girls they're after are giving them mixed signals. They may be girls who showed initial interest but aren't going on dates with them, or girls who made out with them but won't go all the way. Regardless of the situation, the stories all sound the same - in fact, here's a mad libs version of just about every post on here involving a guy with girl problems:

"Hey guys - so I met this girl at _____, and we hit it off at first. I did the technique of _____ on her, and she seemed to like it because she ______ when I did ______. I got her ______ so I could hit her up later. After _____ days of contacting her by _______, I invited her out for _______. She said _____ at first, but on the day of the date she hit me up last minute and said she couldn't go because of _______. She provided no counter-offer. Should I go no contact so she'll want to ______ me? I thought she liked me!"

In reading these things, I've come to realize that, due to men's egos, they either can't or don't want to admit to themselves when a girl just doesn't dig them the way he digs them. In the process of denying what's actually going on, they forget one important thing:

When a girl likes you, she makes it OBVIOUS.

Now, some may read that and think: "But Harry, what about girls who are shy, or don't want to seem to forward?" And my response is that, yes, even THEY make their like for you obvious. For you see, a girl that is truly, truly into you WANTS you to be into her, and will do the things an interested girl does to make sure she keeps you around. In many of the threads I read, the girls these guys are after are showing clear signs of disinterest - i.e. not returning messages/phone calls, not suggesting date ideas, etc. - and yet, to the guys posting these threads, the girls actions aren't making it clear to them that her interest isn't there.

So, for the benefit of all the guys on here that keep posting up these threads asking if a girl likes them, I'm starting this simple post. For the DJs or moderators who have been here for a while, as well as anyone who is actually good with women, please post down below a listing of things that girls who are interested in a guy will do, so that others can look at it and see if the girl they are currently one-i-tising about are doing these things to/for them. I'll start the list off...

WHEN A WOMAN LIKES YOU...

1. She returns all messages/calls in a timely manner
2. She accepts all date invites and/or counter-offers if she can't make the suggested date/time
3. She doesn't flinch when you try to touch her
4. She is willing to have sex with you as early as the first date
5. She takes initiative to call YOU up and ask YOU out on a date
6. She doesn't go 2 weeks without contacting you - heck, she can barely go 2 DAYS without contacting you
7. She'll go on vacation and still hit you up every so often
8. She voluntarily pays for the occasional meal or date outing
9. She doesn't tell you she's "confused" about her feelings for you - there is no confusion because she likes you and ONLY you
10. She doesn't try to invite friends along on your dates
11. She doesn't come over your house and leave you with blue balls
12. She gives you compliments about the way you look, act, smell, etc.
13. She will know what your invitation to your house means... and still want to show up
14. The words "let's just be friends" are never spoken by her
15. It won't matter what your life situation is - you could be poor, living on someone else's couch, with a lousy job and no car, and she'll still want to be seen in public with you
16. She won't send you mixed signals - a girl that likes you doesn't want you confused about how she feels about you
17. It won't matter how long it's been since her last boyfriend (2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months, etc.) since she won't have feelings for him after being around you
18. She won't keep talking to ex-boyfriends
19. You can be as goofy as you'd like, and she'll be right there with you acting just as goofy
20. Her friends won't be able to persuade her not to date you

Well, that's all I got for now - feel free to add to the list, guys!

 

[alpha_ash]

Excellent info as usual from the great Harry Wilmington! Thank you sir.

 

[pinkfl]

This list should be called "when an easy/desperate woman likes you"
Just because a girl doesn't want to put out on the first date doesn't mean she doesn't like you.

 

[Kawai]

This list should be called "when an easy/desperate woman likes you"
Just because a girl doesn't want to put out on the first date doesn't mean she doesn't like you.

I don't think he's saying that "she" will exhibit ALL of these traits at one time. I do agree though...the last girl I most recently dated slept with me on the first date, and it's been hit or miss with timely text responses.

My last girlfriend seemed to align with all these traits most of our time together, and to be honest we had a great time because I knew where I stood with her.

 

[Thoma]

I don't think it's men's egos that cause us to miss the obvious. It's hope that does it to us. Even Game aware guys can still interpret a sign and hope it doesn't mean what we, deep down, already know it means. That and inexperience.

Aside from that, great post man, I'm bookmarking it.

 

[jammer]

This list should be called "when an easy/desperate woman likes you"
Just because a girl doesn't want to put out on the first date doesn't mean she doesn't like you.

pinkfl is right on the money here..

Harry, what are you talking about dude?? What girl, even a desperate one, shows this much interest in a guy? Only guys who are a 9.5 and have perfect bodies get this kind of attention from any girl, and that's only in the beginning when the girl is just getting to know you.

I've been reading your other posts and I had to speak up. Telling guys not to try to pick up girls during the holidays? What kind of crap is that! That's the best time, that's when they have a lot of free time and are out and about and are generally in a great, partying mood!

I couldn't take it anymore, I had to speak up. Harry, I think your advice is terrible and I think you're misleading a lot of newbies here.

NO woman, even a desperate one, will show this much interest in a guy. Women these days - even ugly "desperate" ones - simply have way too many options to act AFC on the level of many guys.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Rename this thread "List to know when a girl is co-operative". This isn't being too clingy. It's called 100% co-operation. These should be general guidelines. She doesn't have to exhibit all of these traits but having a few is showing co-operation.

If you can't agree with this post then I think you guys are just not a thorough brother. If your a thorough dude then girls will treat you like this.

I don't agree with the holiday thread because there are no days off for a true player but I definitely agree with this thread. It's actually common sense to me.

 

[jammer]

any girl who doesn't give you a definite "no" and plays along with you will adhere to some of the points that Harry points out. The point is girls WILL NOT ALWAYS MAKE IT OBVIOUS THEY LIKE YOU. They will almost never ask you to go home with them on a first date and ask you to bang their brains out on their bed.

Women are indirect, this is how they are. Any guy who has experience with women knows this, and knows this well. The only time a girl displays all the interest Harry has pointed out is when the guy is a 9 out of 10 and the girl is a nasty desperate ho. And even this is extremely rare.

Rarely will a knockout girl display and lavish so much unwavering attention on you unless you are a 9.5, and even then she'll likely know how to play the game subconsciously through many years of experience playing with guys, and getting advice from her friends and cosmo. Any guy who says that is not true, is only being chased by 3's and 4's.

 

[BeDJ]

This list should be called "when an easy/desperate woman likes you"

A woman who likes you will make it easy for you.

WHEN A WOMAN DOESN'T LIKE YOU...

1. Doesn't respond to your date offers - women always have their phone.
2. Doesn't pause for a few seconds to allow you to make a move at the end of a first date.
3. Dodges your kiss close.
4. Never initiates contact.
5. Goes more than 4 days without contacting you.
6. Wants to take things slow.

 

[sarcastic sam]

A woman who likes you will make it easy for you.

um yeah right because we all know women who like us are always straight and don't play any games.

i agree with the others.. the only time a girl makes it easy on you is when either (1) the guy is a 9 out of 10, or (2) the girl is a nasty desperate ho, most likely a 2 or 3 on the scale.

 

[BeDJ]

women who like us are always straight and don't play any games.

Yeah

 

[Kawai]

I don't think it's men's egos that cause us to miss the obvious. It's hope that does it to us. Even Game aware guys can still interpret a sign and hope it doesn't mean what we, deep down, already know it means. That and inexperience.

Aside from that, great post man, I'm bookmarking it.

+1 on this. Even after having more than my share of success, my age is dictating the "hope" part of this. Not everyone wants to Play forever...eventually you won't be able to unless you're The Most Interesting Man in the World.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Harry, what are you talking about dude?? What girl, even a desperate one, shows this much interest in a guy? Only guys who are a 9.5 and have perfect bodies get this kind of attention from any girl, and that's only in the beginning when the girl is just getting to know you.

I'm actually glad you brought this up because we're the same age and I used to think just like you 10 years ago.

For starters: the list provided was meant to be a starter list for other guys to also mention things a girl does when she likes you. With that said, though: the problem with the majority of guys on these boards is there view of women is very NEGATIVE. And it's not hard to see why based on their negative experiences, but they forget to realize that these experiences involve two people, and it's not just the woman's fault. It's also the guy's fault for either not recognizing signals of disinterest soon enough, or not recognizing flaws in his own game.

Once a guy is able to not make the dating game so personal, he is able to see that a woman who really DOES like him isn't going to do things to hurt him, confuse him, or play games with his head. Instead, she is ONLY going to do those things that lets him know she's interested.

To answer your question, a girl who is interested WILL show this much interest in a guy she likes. And it's not about desperation - a girl can do all the things mentioned on my portion of the list without having to change who she is or come off as uber-needy. What it IS about, though, is the fact that an interested girl will appreciate the effort you're putting in for her, and recognize that she needs to also do things on her end to make sure she keeps your interest.

The fact that many of the guys on these boards don't believe these types of girls exists is sad, but it also their fault for continuing to go after dead ends. Because it's all in your mindset. The reality is, most guys aren't confident enough in themselves to believe they can find a woman like this. As for me, I come from a family where my Mom told my Dad she loved him every day, and went out of her way to show it (and was willing to because he did the same for her). I come from a family where my grandma was married to my grandad for 35 years, and personally took care of him when he had cancer the last 10 years of his life and never complained about it. I come from a family where all the men ended up choosing wives that were both gorgeous AND made perfect help mates, and none of them have divorced.

So, for me, MY reality is that I don't have to be perfect to find a good woman. And I've dated enough women to know that these types of women DO exist - but again, it all goes back to what YOU believe is possible. If you only think that slvts exists solely to screw you over, that's all you're going to run into. Me, I know slvts exists and choose not to date them because I know they're no good. So, I seek out girls that have things going on in their lives, and those are the ones I date. And I find that, when they're into me and wanting to keep me around, they DO show that much interest. That's MY dating reality.

Lastly - and I've stated this before - any advice I post up here is based on my personal dating experience and what has worked for me. I used to be a newbie on here as well, and it always sucked when I'd read something, go try it out, and then find out it was bad advice. So, the only things I post up here are things I've actually tried out and/or experienced that either worked or didn't work for me. I'm also an odds man, and while I never believe anything I say is going to be true in 100% of situations, I post up stuff that tends to be true for MOST situations based on my observation.

For example: the whole "don't date new girls during the holidays" thing was based on two things: my years of experience in dating during Christmas time, and the years of reading stories on here around this time of year with guys striking out on new girls. Based on my observations, I came to the conclusion that, even if a girl likes a new guy, her full attention in getting to know him isn't going to be there until after the holidays, and that pestering her during this time is, more often than not, going to lower her interest.

Now, this may be not be true for you - heck, you may be a GREAT holiday closer who's stuffing girls' stockings on Christmas day. As far as my observations go, though, you'd be the EXCEPTION to the rule. Therefore, your personal experience still wouldn't negate the generality of my conclusions, which is that MOST guys should wait til after New Year's to continue courting a new girl.

But hey, my advice isn't for everyone, and I don't expect 100% of people to agree with what I say. However, I DO appreciate you disagreeing with me in a respectful way, and I'm always down to defend anything I post up on these boards so that, at the very least, you know where I'm coming from.

 

[incognito42]

um yeah right because we all know women who like us are always straight and don't play any games.

i agree with the others.. the only time a girl makes it easy on you is when either (1) the guy is a 9 out of 10, or (2) the girl is a nasty desperate ho, most likely a 2 or 3 on the scale.

I kinda agree. Their multitude of options usually keeps them from tipping their hand too much. Even when they are really into you they subconsciously feel they have the leverage and want the guy to be the one to show his interest. Plus girls are erratic and not all the same.

Of course if were talking about situations where a girl cancels plans and doesn't make an effort to reshedule, well yea I think everyone knows these are signs she's not that into you

Also I think it's a little unfair to scream "dating is easy". Some guys (many guys) have their own issues that make their interactions with girls different from yours Harry. Maybe they get a date once per year and it's not that they're unaware of the signs they're receiving but they're desperate and hanging onto hope and therefore interpreting things in different ways

 

[jammer]

I'm actually glad you brought this up because we're the same age and I used to think just like you 10 years ago.

Look, I really don't mean to come off as disrespectful or mean or anything. But I honestly think you're giving out bad advice that some newbies are falling for. I have fvcked about 70 or 80 girls in my life (and no doubt other guys here have banged more) but of all of them perhaps only a handful didn't give me any problems and always showed me clear signs of interest. By following your advice, I would have easily - and far too early - given up on 95% of the women I ended up banging!

For starters: the list provided was meant to be a starter list for other guys to also mention things a girl does when she likes you. With that said, though: the problem with the majority of guys on these boards is there view of women is very NEGATIVE.

Look, there's an easy way to see if a girl likes you: she goes out with you, and she eventually bangs you. Along the way, women will most certainly give you road bumps, that's because that's who they are. Most guys have negative experiences with women because theyre liars and deceivers and they almost never say what they really mean. Even when they like you. The most inexperienced guy on this board would know this.

Harry, I'm sorry but your advice is far too naive and simplistic for a DJ to follow. It literally goes against everything here mentioned about being a persistent, confident guy. If guys gave up every time a girl flaked or didn't give a favorable response within a decent amount of time, almost no guy would get laid.

To answer your question, a girl who is interested WILL show this much interest in a guy she likes. And it's not about desperation - a girl can do all the things mentioned on my portion of the list without having to change who she is or come off as uber-needy. What it IS about, though, is the fact that an interested girl will appreciate the effort you're putting in for her, and recognize that she needs to also do things on her end to make sure she keeps your interest.

This is pure BS Harry and at 30 years of age you should know this by now. If a girl did everything in your list she would be the perfect girl. Everyone knows this does not exist. Women are fickle, picky, emotional, and their minds and opinions change at the drop of a hat. If you're waiting for a girl who will display all of these levels of interests in you, and appreciate what you do for her, and she always acts normal.. I'm sorry you'll be waiting for a long time because NOBODY is this perfect.

I come from a family where all the men ended up choosing wives that were both gorgeous AND made perfect help mates, and none of them have divorced.

Harry, but this is more drivel on your part. You're telling us that every guy in your family married a perfect woman who's perfectly generous and a total knockout? You're not living in reality here, Mr. Wilmington. It's comments like this that totally make any of what you say total BS.

And I've dated enough women to know that these types of women DO exist - but again, it all goes back to what YOU believe is possible.

OK so where are these perfect, gorgeous women now? You've dated so many of them, if they're so perfect why didn't you hold on to them? Can it be because of a lot of their interests and the seemingly perfect attributes you gave them did not turn out to be so perfect after all?

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I kinda agree. Their multitude of options usually keeps them from tipping their hand too much.

I really just wanted to respond to this quote in your statement, because I hear it on these boards all the time.

The whole "multitude of options" thing is a lie - at least in the way guys think about it. Men think differently from women in terms of getting a mate. We see a beautiful girl who's a 9 on a 10 scale and think to ourselves, "Man, I have no chance - she's so hot, she can get any girl she wants."

This is what is holding you guys back from getting with hot girls. You associate her hotness level - which is a totally made up thing, BTW (more on this later) - with her ability to have a suitor. And yet, the majority of women who get married are, on average, in the 5 to 7 department on the looks scale. Why, you ask?

BECAUSE THE HOT GIRL IS NOT BEING ASKED OUT, THAT'S WHY.

You see, even the hottest of girls isn't sure that she's all that hot. And she's right to think that way because hotness is subjective to the person viewing her. I've seen guys post up pictures of "10" girls on here that I wouldn't even try masturbating to. She's waiting to be asked out just like all the so-called "homely" girls...

...but the problem is, all the guys around her are waiting for HER to walk up to THEM and make a move. Because, in their heads, SHE is the one that should make the decision. And so, while you're sitting there thinking SHE'S the one who should choose you since she's so hot and you might not be good enough for her, I'M the one walking up to her, flirting with her, getting the digits, taking her out and eventually screwing her.

Also, girls' choices aren't as abundant as you think they are. I have plenty of fine friends who are girls and get hit on regularly by all types of guys... but having that multitude of guys doesn't make their choice any easier. Girls have it harder at times than we do when it comes to picking a mate - for most of them (again, I'm making a generality), they're looking for someone who can protect them, has a good gene pool for making babies, isn't going to harm them with his added strength, and a plethora of other things guys don't even have to think about.

On top of that, the majority of the male population doesn't have their ish together. You have guys that still live home with their parents; guys who have 9 or 10 children by six women; guys who are on drugs; guys who only want to hit it and quit it; guys who cheat; guys who can't afford to take care of himself, let alone go out on dates; guys who smell bad all of the time; guys who can't stop doing AFC-related things like texting her all the time or acting overjealous when she hangs out with co-workers; guys who don't have manners... I could go on and on.

And so, once again, it boils down to YOUR reality of the situation. You could view the dating game as one where hot girls won't date you because they'd never choose you based on how you look; or, you could view the dating game as one where hot girls WILL date you because everyone else is afraid, but you know how to trigger things in her that will have her DYING to be with you. I choose the latter, and I've liked my results thus far. (And, in case you're wondering: I'm not a 10 on the looks scale - not ugly, but not a model either - and I don't have muscles to speak of. I just have a LOT of confidence and believe I'm the better option than the other options a girl has coming to her.)

 

[sarcastic sam]

A woman who likes you will make it easy for you.

WHEN A WOMAN DOESN'T LIKE YOU...

1. Doesn't respond to your date offers - women always have their phone.
2. Doesn't pause for a few seconds to allow you to make a move at the end of a first date.
3. Dodges your kiss close.
4. Never initiates contact.
5. Goes more than 4 days without contacting you.
6. Wants to take things slow.

Beginning DJ, i think your name says it all when it comes to this stuff. You're a beginner and it shows, even though you've been here for years.

I've seen and read your journal, and I can understand that a guy like you will believe this stuff about girls acting normal because when they're 3 and 4's like the ones you date, they do act like this.

But even these girls don't act too perfect for too long.

 

[jammer]

The whole "multitude of options" thing is a lie - at least in the way guys think about it.

See Harry, it's ridiculous comments like this of yours that make it so difficult for experienced DJ's to take anything you say seriously.

IT IS NOT A LIE. Women have more options, this is a well-known fact. They have guys begging them to take them out to dinner, to fvck them, just to be with them. Such is the power that pvssy holds over some men.

But it is a fact of life that women have more options than guys do. Statements like this, along with other stuff you said about you having dated perfect women and all the men in your family being married to perfect gorgeous women is why your advice is so terrible and cannot be taken seriously here.

You are living in a world of make-believe, where women are perfect and always act normal. Your advice is terrible because it relies on the existence of a world of fantasy.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

See Harry, it's ridiculous comments like this of yours that make it so difficult for experienced DJ's to take anything you say seriously.

IT IS NOT A LIE. Women have more options, this is a well-known fact. They have guys begging them to take them out to dinner, to fvck them, just to be with them. Such is the power that pvssy holds over some men.

But it is a fact of life that women have more options than guys do. Statements like this, along with other stuff you said about you having dated perfect women and all the men in your family being married to perfect gorgeous women is why your advice is so terrible and cannot be taken seriously here.

You are living in a world of make-believe, where women are perfect and always act normal. Your advice is terrible because it relies on the existence of a world of fantasy.

This is very self defeating and what a normal person would think. These girls have options but how many of these brothers are thorough confident brothers? These dudes out here are desperate, dusty, and just plain duck dudes.

When I step to a female that looks good I know when I step to her I'm bringing in a different energy that other brothers aren't. I step with 100% confidence and I know I am that dude. Ok these girls are getting approached all day but I know there wasn't one dude that could compare to me so that sht shouldn't be too much irrelevant.

If a girl isn't 100% co-operative then you just don't need to mess with her. It's called the anti-dump method and is generally what I go by. I haven't always gone by this but I can tell you that when I didn't go by this method the ***** was never worth it.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Look, I really don't mean to come off as disrespectful or mean or anything. But I honestly think you're giving out bad advice that some newbies are falling for. I have fvcked about 70 or 80 girls in my life (and no doubt other guys here have banged more) but of all of them perhaps only a handful didn't give me any problems and always showed me clear signs of interest. By following your advice, I would have easily - and far too early - given up on 95% of the women I ended up banging!

I think this is where you and I differ, and why my advice may be seen as "bad" to you. Despite the various girls I've been with, I've always been relationship-minded and marriage-minded. I can tell you that I have definitely not been with 70 or 80 women, but part of that is because I've gone into most hook ups with the idea that I'd like for things to go beyond that.

Therefore, you would be correct in saying that my advice would have prevented you from 95% of your hook-ups because my advice is to help guys get in relationships, not just have sex with everything walking.

Harry, I'm sorry but your advice is far too naive and simplistic for a DJ to follow. It literally goes against everything here mentioned about being a persistent, confident guy. If guys gave up every time a girl flaked or didn't give a favorable response within a decent amount of time, almost no guy would get laid.

The reason my advice is simplistic is because - and again, this is based on my experience - when a girl likes you, she makes things so easy for you that the things you need to do to keep her really ARE simple in nature. "Don't be needy," "Wait for her to initiate kino," "texting KILLS relationships," "Wait 3 months before making her your girlfriend" - these are all stated very simplistically because (a) they don't really need to be expanded out much more than that (though I'm always happy to do so), and (b) because, as simplistic as they are, I've found they WORK for guys looking to keep a girl around long term. Again, if you're just trying to go for the easy pump and dump, this advice wouldn't apply to you.

This is pure BS Harry and at 30 years of age you should know this by now. If a girl did everything in your list she would be the perfect girl.

Exactly. Well, not "perfect" - no one is perfect and even a girl that's doing everything right will have the occasional slip up and/or "sh*t test" day - but pretty close. But again, my advice is based on the idea of a guy wanting to be in a long-term relationship leading to marriage. So yes, a sane, rational girl who wants to keep her man happy long-term WILL do these things, and would therefore be the "perfect" girl to marry.

Everyone knows this does not exist.

No, that's what you CHOOSE to believe. Again, my influences growing up showed that these women DO exist. If you have not been privy to seeing it, I feel sorry for you - it's quite a beautiful thing to see, actually.

If you're waiting for a girl who will display all of these levels of interests in you, and appreciate what you do for her, and she always acts normal.. I'm sorry you'll be waiting for a long time because NOBODY is this perfect.

Again, they don't have to always act "normal" (which is, again, open to interpretation), but they DO exist. I've seen them - my brother is married to a girl like this now, and I'm currently dating one myself. Soo......

You're telling us that every guy in your family married a perfect woman who's perfectly generous and a total knockout? You're not living in reality here, Mr. Wilmington. It's comments like this that totally make any of what you say total BS.

I just got back from seeing my entire family for Christmas. I'm the oldest of our current generation, but a lot of my younger male cousins are married and brought their wives with them for a get together at my great aunt's house. Like I said, their wives are knockouts who know their place. They are respectful to my cousins but are also gentle, kind, loving, and willing to do for them if need be. My older male cousins/uncles from the previous generation chose the same. Granted, I'm from Virginia originally, so maybe it has something to do with that old school down-south charm and kindness, but yes - for the majority of my male cousins and uncles, these are the types of women they got with. It's not a BS comment, it's the REALITY I live in.

OK so where are these perfect, gorgeous women now? You've dated so many of them, if they're so perfect why didn't you hold on to them? Can it be because of a lot of their interests and the seemingly perfect attributes you gave them did not turn out to be so perfect after all?

I knew this was coming. For starters, you're making the assumption they all dumped me - not the case. Some women make a good starting impression and then, 3 or 4 months out they start to slack off, so I dumped them.

Second, I never said all the women I dated were perfect. What I said was, when a woman is interested in you, she will show you the various items I mentioned. The opposite is also true: when they started to lose interest, they would stop doing some of these things. I'm at the point now where I recognize a situation for what it is, so when things start dropping off, I'll do what I can to see if raising the interest back up is possible, and if not I'll walk away (or start doing stuff so that she'll want to walk away).

Third, a guy has to be wise enough to realize when a girl or a situation isn't going to work for him. I had a girl I was dating in Virginia that did all the stuff on my list; however, I wanted to move to Cali and she was in law school for 3 years. Long distance relationships aren't for me, so I called it quits. Doesn't mean she didn't have the right qualities, but it did mean it wasn't going to work for my lifestyle to continue dating her.

And lastly, a guy has to be in a position in his life where, if he's going for the long term relationship, he can sustain it. And, for a lot of years, that wasn't me. Heck, when I moved out to Cali I had to spend almost 2 years figuring out how to support myself, so being in a steady relationship wasn't going to work 'cause i couldn't even afford dates. But I recognized this, and didn't go for anything long term until I could finally support myself FIRST. This is also something else guys need to take notice of - until you have your own stuff in order and are somewhat stable, be it financially, emotionally, spiritually or otherwise, the majority of relationships you try to start up will FAIL because there will always be a part of you that knows, instinctively, you're not ready to take on another person.

But again, that's if you're going for the long-term. If you're just trying to up your bed post notches, please ignore everything I say from now on