What's the deal with women and simps saying "communication" is so important?

[FlexpertHamilton]

If you want a quality relationship that lasts longer than 6 months, it's kinda crucial.

This should be common sense but somehow isn't apparently?

It should be common sense, yet it's repeated CONSTANTLY as if its an epidemic. Are this many men bad at "communicating?" that they need to constantly reaffirm how important it is?

 

[Robert28]

It should be common sense, yet it's repeated CONSTANTLY as if its an epidemic. Are this many men bad at "communicating?"

No. Ever had a woman come right out and tell you she isn’t interested? It rarely happens. But she could easily communicate it with words rather than codes and hoping you take the hint. I’m talking about a woman who you’ve been on a few dates with and acts weird all of a sudden.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Women who say this are looking for a male empath. A male empath who knows these kinds of women will stay clear. They want you to cure their crazy.

Being sensitive can help connect with normal women, who are neither excessively emotional nor callous.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Two completely different styles of communication. Both work well by themselves. So as another member correctly pointed out, between men we communicate quite well. And women communicate well among themselves.

The issue is the lack of understanding of the opposite gender's style of communication and the lack of compromising to reach a middle ground. And subsequently, finger-pointing and victimization occur which we all know never goes anywhere and that's where we are.

 

[Bigpapa]

Healthy levels of dark traits are essential to attraction.

1. Narcissist: believe you're the best cause why not = being c0cky

2. Psychopathy: don't feel bad when she does some $hit that she brings to herself = not being a captain save a ho3

3. Machiavellian: puting your needs first = not being doormat.

All of those are traits of masculinity, the media brainwash young boys into being the good mommas boys, and women complain cause they have to work hard to get those guys to commit, even more when those guys are accomplished in life.

that”s because those things are proxies for high value guys

Basically a woman wants a high value guy that is a sweety just with her. In rest to be a douchebag

you do not have to actually communicate, it is mainly about giving her hints that you think about her, and most importantly not all the time in a sexual way

like for example, bringing a desert that you she likes when you pick her from home, or asking her to come with you when you buy new clothes and ask her opinion ( but you do not have to do it too often either, as she will take them for granted )

or ask her opinion about where to do your vacation together, or even better to let her plan everything

it is a combo between showing appreciation for what she does ( when right ) and her feeling that she is your co-pilot in your journey

 

[parabellum]

that”s because those things are proxies for high value guys

Basically a woman wants a high value guy that is a sweety just with her. In rest to be a douchebag

you do not have to actually communicate, it is mainly about giving her hints that you think about her, and most importantly not all the time in a sexual way

like for example, bringing a desert that you she likes when you pick her from home, or asking her to come with you when you buy new clothes and ask her opinion ( but you do not have to do it too often either, as she will take them for granted )

or ask her opinion about where to do your vacation together, or even better to let her plan everything

it is a combo between showing appreciation for what she does ( when right ) and her feeling that she is your co-pilot in your journey

I couldn’t agree more with this. Thanks for putting this in lay words @Bigpapa

In my experience, this is the name of the game for mid or long term relationships.

 

[I_have_BDE]

I’ve had women tell me many times I’m a terrible communicator because I don’t text all day. I have a business to run, I’m not going to chit chat all dang day with you. What I don’t understand is how the women who are the ultimate “take a hint” communicators can’t wrap their head around “hey maybe he’s busy and can’t talk all the time, he’s got a business to run”. But they can’t grasp that.

I had a hot chick from old I met and got mad because I didn't reply to text messages at like 7am when I'm still sleeping!

 

[Redwood]

It should be common sense, yet it's repeated CONSTANTLY as if its an epidemic. Are this many men bad at "communicating?" that they need to constantly reaffirm how important it is?

It goes both ways tbh. But the finger is always pointed at the men as usual.

 

[Bigpapa]

It goes both ways tbh. But the finger is always pointed at the men as usual.

women will never take accountability for something

 

[Redwood]

women will never take accountability for something

I've been seeing a lot of dudes doing this as well though.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Women do a lot of gaslighting. You have to me smart and direct to cut through the bullshvt.

 

[BadBoy89]

Communicate more = give me more information about yours so I can use it when the time is ripe and benefits me,

If a woman is already sleeping with the man, she’s already given everything up. That’s it, there no “more”. Why should a man open is mouth any more than he has?

 

[SW15]

It basically means that she wants a man who meets her physical appearance criteria, doesn't come across as a completely awkward NPC in person, and doesn't undergo a significant personality change after sexual intimacy. This requirement is essentially synonymous with emotional intelligence. Many men who struggle in dating often lack emotional intelligence due to factors such as inexperience, shyness, certain mental traits like the dark triad/sociopathy, or negative reactions resulting from past hurt inflicted by a woman. A lot of women participating in hypergamy will be exposed to this because they are chasing dark triad men in general. Girls not participating in hypergamy will run in to this with a lot of guys in the first dating stages as well. For example, a guy might present himself as communicative on the phone or before the first date, but then come off as a drone NPC during the actual date.

This is a perfect explanation.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Communication is crucial in LTRs or marriages. But nobody much starts out there, right? First you go through this weird introductory phase where the term “game” is more literally accurate than most people want to admit, you know, all the who contacts who first, trying to assess whether someone likes you for real or not, the basic “Get to Know 101” conversations, etc.

How do you know someone likes you and is being real?

1. They agree to spend time with you
2. They express a willingness and desire to learn about you by encouraging you to share about yourself.
3. They are willing to share about themselves.

Early on you can overshare. That’s not good and does not indicate healthy boundaries. She could also overshare of course.

But for an interaction to blossom into a relationship with legs there has to be a continual, progressive, reciprocal sharing between two people, about who they are, about what they desire, about their goals & aspirations.

It involves the ability to listen. Good listeners are hard to find, men or women. When a person feels heard it goes a long way toward that person feeling understood and even loved.

My fiancé is a software developer. He goes on sometimes about whatever project he is in the middle of, goes on about the people involved and the problems he’s trying to solve. I am not in that field but through listening I have learned a fair bit of the vernacular and I pay attention when he needs to air something out. He feels heard and appreciated and understood. That translates into him feeling warm and fuzzy about me.

And communication goes both ways but a wise partner pays attention to the communication style of the other person and makes the effort to accommodate that.

I have learned a hack that works when I need to air something that he is not willing to discuss in a direct manner. I call a girlfriend or my sister, go in the other room and an amazing thing happens….

He eavesdrops. He doesn’t interrupt because of course he wants to hear what I’m saying ABOUT him because he doesn’t directly want me to discuss it WITH him. That’s fine & I get that. The information gets conveyed and that’s the point. And I know damn well he’s listening and that’s all I wanted in the first place.

And then later he will say or do something that makes clear he was listening. And you know what? If that saves him sitting through what he thinks is going to be some heavy conversation? Perfect. Everybody is happy.

Smart women listen and figure out how best to interact with their man. I’m perfectly willing and able to be very succinct and direct. My father drilled this into me, but his communication style is more indirect when he thinks there might be conflict…he is at times conflict averse, I am not.

My point is that the crux of good communication is listening and paying attention to the other person and how they relate to the world around them. Women typically are better standard issue equipped for this than men. So modeling good communication falls to the woman usually.

 

[DonJuanjr]

From a former poster:
"The reason a woman will default to communication and even complain that you don’t communicate enough is that communication is her most valuable tool of manipulation in the pursuit of support and resource extraction."

 

[Epicenter]

Communication is essential. It gives meaning to life. It makes life interesting. It is more important than movies, books and so on. You can make your life much better with communication. For that you have to be good with self communication. Even sex is much better with communication. You can role play and create new worlds.There is this one joke where the mother says to the daughter be careful with italian men they all want the same. What is it? Says the daughter. Mother says palare, palare, palare. Talking, talking, talking.

There is a reason why stand up comedians are so popular.

If somebody is a bad communicator it is annoying.

For example the difference between Michael Sartein, Destiny vs Rollo. Destiny and Sartein are quite amazing communicators. Rollo sucks.

 

[CornbreadFed]

^I'm not asking why communication is important I'm asking why this is apparently an epidemic. Who's fault is this and if it's mens, is it because they think women are just like them and try to communicate with them as such?

It's always been a problem for hypergameous women that chase high smv dark triad men. As dating apps increase in popularity, it is rising because it is basically the equivalent of a girl catfishing a guy with her profile pics. A guy catfishing a girl is basically appearing normal through texts/phone calls and being a completely different person personality on the first date or changing after the sex.

 

[Bigpapa]

It's always been a problem for hypergameous women that chase high smv dark triad men. As dating apps increase in popularity, it is rising because it is basically the equivalent of a girl catfishing a guy with her profile pics. A guy catfishing a girl is basically appearing normal through texts/phone calls and being a completely different person personality on the first date or changing after the sex.

Most of the time dark triads are proxies for high value

I do not think that women chase knowingly high value guys, just that for them attractiveness is a binary Thing: they are attracted or not

guys have a more nuanced pallet for attractivity : would bang her only if she comes to my place, would go for a date and try to bang her, would date her, she is gorgeous etc etc etc

apparently women on apps rate like 80% of men at most a 5, while most guys would rate 80% of women at least a 5

that is most likely guys came with this theories about women being this and that, as a way to explain the big gap between how sexes rate each other

The idea of women being hypergamous has a lot of stretched ideas and ignores for example the fact that no one can game a girl that is in love or admires greately her boyfriend

it is also a biased overview, as you will only game girls that are single or not in love with their bfs, as those who are like this will either be nowhere to found to begin with ( lack of access ) either will not give you the chance to game them

 

[Dr.Suave]

I have learned a hack that works when I need to air something that he is not willing to discuss in a direct manner. I call a girlfriend or my sister, go in the other room and an amazing thing happens….

He eavesdrops. He doesn’t interrupt because of course he wants to hear what I’m saying ABOUT him because he doesn’t directly want me to discuss it WITH him. That’s fine & I get that. The information gets conveyed and that’s the point. And I know damn well he’s listening and that’s all I wanted in the first place.

And then later he will say or do something that makes clear he was listening. And you know what? If that saves him sitting through what he thinks is going to be some heavy conversation? Perfect. Everybody is happy.

This is actually pretty solid female game.

 

[Bigpapa]

.

I have learned a hack that works when I need to air something that he is not willing to discuss in a direct manner. I call a girlfriend or my sister, go in the other room and an amazing thing happens….

He eavesdrops. He doesn’t interrupt because of course he wants to hear what I’m saying ABOUT him because he doesn’t directly want me to discuss it WITH him. That’s fine & I get that. The information gets conveyed and that’s the point. And I know damn well he’s listening and that’s all I wanted in the first place.

And then later he will say or do something that makes clear he was listening. And you know what? If that saves him sitting through what he thinks is going to be some heavy conversation? Perfect. Everybody is happy.

sounds like what a guy who is dominated would do

I never listened to a convo where I was not part of in my life

not listening to others people personal conversations is what people who respect privacy do

This is what women do, listen to sh1t that is not their business to begin with

But again, software guys are not really known for their social skills

You also sound like you are a drama queen, and most likely you are the type of woman that even likes to feel dominated due to your insecurities you will try to fight back as a way to show yourself what a strong woman you are.

No wonder you had a lot of boyfriends and husbands, you Either emasculate them heavily till you lose all respect for them, either will reach a point till they got enough of your bs and leave you

( sorry for being extremely blunt, I do not want to say more than this and I am not trying to be mean either. Things are just how they are and I do not think that it is a nicer way to talk about the elephant in the room )

And since we like to talk about dark triads, I think that you are what is called a dark triad woman