What was this woman thinking and doing?

[Raymond]

I have known this woman for 2 months. Long story short:

I knew she was attracted to me to some level. I asked her if she has a boyfriend, she answered uncomfortably that she broke up with her ex 3 months ago.

Now fast forward to the week of Valentine's Day, also her birthday. I asked if she had any plan for Valentine's Day and her birthday (same day), she answered no and would probably stay home, but she had a dentist appointment at 1PM. So, I asked her if she wanted to go out on that day. She laughed and said maaaaaybe and she said she had to asked her friend first because she wanted to bring her.

A day later, she asked me if I was coming on Friday (aka Valentine's Day). I said yeah, but she said her friend wanted to go out for a dinner, and she told her friend that she didn't have enough time to meet up for a dinner because we had to met at college at 8PM for a class, so she didn't know what the plan for Friday was.

The day before Friday. I asked her if we're still going out on Friday, she said no. Her excuse was that she had to go to two different dentist offices, one to remove her teeth brace and other for an examination or procedure that required anesthesia or whatever the heck the name was to numb her mouth, and back the the first dentist office to put back her teeth brace. What the heck, she didn't mention that two days ago.

Judgement day (aka Valentine's Day and her birthday). We met at the college's library for final study. She came with a "big brown bag." It was filled with gift wrapped presents and a red rose sticking out of the bag. I asked her if she went on a shopping, she muttered that she went on a dating (WHAT!?). And while my brain was processing what she just said in shock, my mouth worked faster than my brain and asked "what's in the bag"? She muttered again, but this time I didn't hear what she was saying and I said "huh"? She muttered again, and I thought she said shoes, but I was pretty sure that wasn't what she said. I said to her, "shoes"? She went silent.

Then she sit down on the computer next to me and started browsing clothing on Bloomingdales. When I turned my head over and looked at her computer screen, I saw she was browsing for man clothing. She giggled awkwardly and said to me "I told you not look," which I didn't remember she told me. Then I unconsciously asked her in an irritated tone "why"? She went silent for the second time.

From the moment she sit down next to me the atmosphere changed drastically. I was pretty sure she felt it too. I became really silent and didn't talk to her unless she asked me a math problem that she didn't understand, and I would teach her how to solve it in a calm manner. About 30 minutes later, I guessed she felt uncomfortable in that situation and she said she was tired and headed to the class 20 minutes earlier. I said "ok I will see you in class."

Now my story continued from there but I will end it here because it's not related to my questions. And before you answer, I will provide you with signs that she has a boyfriend. There were many times I saw her talking angrily on the phone with someone. I didn't understand their conversations because it was in a different language. Yes, I should had seemed the signs faster, now it was too late.

1. Why did she hide the fact that she's already dating someone?

2. Why did she hide the fact, but at the same time she showed me evidences that she's dating someone? Recall big brown bags with gifts and rose, and muttered to me she went on a dating.

 

[usernamedox11]

Sounds like she's more into someone else and is using you as an orbiter with the added benefit of you helping her to pass her exams.

 

[Raymond]

Sounds like she's more into someone else and is using you as an orbiter with the added benefit of you helping her to pass her exams.

That is what I was thinking. Ever since I helped her with math, her grade jumped from C to A-.

 

[rascal99v]

Who the fvck makes a dentist appointment on their Birthday? She made bad excuses too. She was just using you to get what she wanted out of you. After you helped her with her math, she had no use for you. Women exploit men for their own personal gain. She acts nice to get you to do something for her. You think she likes you. You think you will get something out of doing her a favor. Then after you do what she wants, she has no more use for you. Check out the thread I wrote about the same thing.

 

[sylvester the cat]

1. Why did she hide the fact that she's already dating someone?

2. Why did she hide the fact, but at the same time she showed me evidences that she's dating someone? Recall big brown bags with gifts and rose, and muttered to me she went on a dating.

Irrelevant.

Confusion is a clear sign that you are in 'not interested' territory and need to bail out fast. Remain professional and polite but other than that - stay away.

 

[_sideways_]

Long story short....too late.

Oneitis much?

 

[Maximus Rex]

Rex's Analysis

I have known this woman for 2 months. Long story short:

I knew she was attracted to me to some level.

What indicators of interest did she give to you that made you feel as if she was interested? Once confirming her interest, what did you do to escalate her level of interest and how long did it take for you to act upon this valuable piece of intelligence. The reason why I ask is twofold,

1) You might have of misinterpreted her IoIs.

2) You may waited too long to act upon her IoIs. Unlike men, a woman's window of interest is only open for a finite amount of time before she moves on to the next guy or she loses interest in you due to your lack of action.

I asked her if she has a boyfriend, she answered uncomfortably that she broke up with her ex 3 months ago.

What was the rationale for you asking this rather asinine question? Seriously though, let's say hypothetically that she did have a boyfriend, however, y'all still exchanged numbers. Say one night you're sitting around the house and you're watching the last season of Game of Thrones to reacquaint yourself with story arcs from last season as to prepare you for this upcoming season, when you get a phone from ole girl. Y'all converse for a minute when some rather pleasant eroticism happens.

Ole explains to you that she's in a VERY HIGH state of arousal and is in desperate need of your touch, your feel, and tongue going ever so slightly down the bottom of her ear lope as you manage to lick and give sensual lightly sucking on her neck. She tells you that not only has she been thinking of you, but she's longing for you and this intense longing causes her to feel moisture between her legs. In an ever so seductive yet demanding, but ironically submissive voice, she says, Raymond, if you come over here right now, I'm going to bring you to the biggest ecstasy that a man could ever reach in life, other than checking a big bankroll."

Rex says that unless you're morally opposed to indulging in coitus with women that are in relationships, that her having a boyfriend isn't going to prevent you from getting to know that woman carnally. As a matter of fact, Rex dares to say that you will break land speed records in other to get to her house in order to "bust that thang out.

Rex said all of that to say this, more than likely the reason you asked about her boyfriend is because you ran out of things to say and you have to stop doing that because inquiring about a boyfriend gives a woman an opportunity to indulge in mendacity about a fictitious "boyfriend," in order to avoid a conversation with you. Besides, if you game is tight enough, her boyfriend won't be of much relevance anyway when you're enjoying the beauty that is her nude body, as she calls for the Lord, and you unload your "love," all over her chest and face.

Now fast forward to the week of Valentine's Day, also her birthday. I asked if she had any plan for Valentine's Day and her birthday (same day), she answered no and would probably stay home, but she had a dentist appointment at 1PM. So, I asked her if she wanted to go out on that day. She laughed and said maaaaaybe and she said she had to asked her friend first because she wanted to bring her.

:cuss: :nono: If you have did this three weeks ago Rex would have been able to give you the rather strongly worded response that would have been laden with eff bombs, "n," bombs, and the adroit usage of brutal and coarse street language in hopes of bringing to you the harsh reality and the inefficacy that is often the result showing unwarranted and unearned affection, caring, and most importantly attention to women you find aesthetically pleasing and have what may amount to eventually be a passing sexual interest.

But alas, those days are gone, and the membership of this particular message board are "encouraged," to refrain from engaging in the use language that can be interpreted as "hate speech," and to use "kinder and gentler," euphemisms as to soften the harshness of the message (for poster such as O.M.R.,) as not to offend this particular board's more sensitive members, and the mostly importantly, not to adversely effect the revenue stream that such strongly worded and profane, (but insightful and profound,) messages would have, but please forgive Rex and his rather loquacious digression.

For future reference, birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, and any other event, day, or occasion that has any semblance of importance, meaning, or value is reserved for long term girl friends, (one year of more,)

By showing interest in a stranger's birthday, (that happen to coincide with her Valentine's Day,) came off as creepy, needy, and potentially "stalkerish,". She knows that she hasn't done anything to warrant that sort of attention or commitment of time on your part and she's thinking to herself, "Really,"? "If he's doing all of this now, then what's going to happen when we get into a relationship? He's going to be jealous of men admiring my feminine form, he's going to try to lock me down, and just simply be doing too much. Ohhh Huh huh. Next."
Remember the game is linear and things have to be done in their proper sequence and at the proper time. You got waaay to far ahead of yourself in the game. You should listen to Harry Wilimington's thoughts on new chicks and Valentine's Day,

Episode 128: How Not Getting Her a Valentine’s Gift Can Help Make Her Your Girlfriend (ADVANCE GAME)

http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/

The day before Friday. I asked her if we're still going out on Friday, she said no.

You shouldn't had to ask. She had no intention on going out with you, especially on a day with double the significance for her.

Her excuse was that she had to go to two different dentist offices, one to remove her teeth brace and other for an examination or procedure that required anesthesia or whatever the heck the name was to numb her mouth, and back the the first dentist office to put back her teeth brace.

This wouldn't have been an issue if Jonah Hill had asked her out on Friday.

What the heck, she didn't mention that two days ago.

It's called "indulging in mendacity."

 

[Maximus Rex]

Pt. II

Then she sit down on the computer next to me and started browsing clothing on Bloomingdales. When I turned my head over and looked at her computer screen, I saw she was browsing for man clothing. She giggled awkwardly and said to me "I told you not look," which I didn't remember she told me. Then I unconsciously asked her in an irritated tone "why"? She went silent for the second time.

Women don't take themselves seriously, so why are you?

From the moment she sit down next to me the atmosphere changed drastically. I was pretty sure she felt it too. I became really silent and didn't talk to her unless she asked me a math problem that she didn't understand, and I would teach her how to solve it in a calm manner. About 30 minutes later, I guessed she felt uncomfortable in that situation and she said she was tired and headed to the class 20 minutes earlier. I said "ok I will see you in class."

Remember this for future reference, if you're projecting a fun and upbeat manner, then chicks will mimic that behavior. If you're showing women you're confident, cool, and fun to be around then they'll want to be a part of your positive energy.

1. Why did she hide the fact that she's already dating someone?

"Dating," somebody and having a boyfriend are two different things. Dating means that you're going on dates, hanging out with chicks, (hopefully you and the object of your affection are indulging in coitus,) Basically, dating is like test driving a car, you're getting a gauge of who you like to kiss.

Having a boyfriend means that a woman and a man have come to mutual and concise understanding that they're in a relationship and they're (under normal circumstances,) are going to see other people.

The reason why she hide this fact from you is because, as pimps say, "say was "choosin'." there was something she liked about you and she was sending out IoI's to see if you were worthy enough to align herself with you. Also, you have to factor in what Mystery had to say on the subject

The following come from "The Mystery Method," By Mystery page 36

Nine times out of ten, when a woman says, " I have a boyfriend," what this translates to is, "You just telegraphed too much interest."

It has nothing to do with whether she actually has a boyfriend. In fact if she is attracted to you, she will often deliberately hide the boyfriend from you until after you have had sex with her.

Whether she mentions him or not in no way proves that he actually exists-only that she had a motive to mention him.

1) Though she doesn't have a boyfriend, she's not attracted to you or you miscalibrated your escalation.

2) She DOES have a boyfriend and, given her current options, she has chosen to stick with that relationship.

3) She DOES have a boyfriend and is willing to sleep with you but wants to make sure that you understand her situation first. She wants DISCRETION and understanding. And though she might be available to you for sex, she NOT immediately available for more of a commitment.

4) She DOES have a boyfriend and she IS willing to cheat on him (they often are if your game is tight,) but she doesn't want to feel guilty about it. This is her RATIONALIZATION process at work. As long as she mentions the boyfriend BEFORE sleeping with you, she can rationalize to herself that it was YOUR FAULT. Sure, she might regret it later, but that won't necessarily stop her from cheating.

THE BOTTOM LINE IS, DON'T ASK ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND AND DON'T APPEAR FAZED IF SHE MENTIONS HIM. HE MAY NOT EVEN EXIST. JUST TAKE AS AN INSTANCE OF LACK OF INTEREST CAUSED BY YOU TELEGRAPHING TOO MUCH INTEREST FAR TOO SOON.

Why did see hide the fact, but at the same time she showed me evidences that she's dating someone? Recall big brown bags with gifts and rose, and muttered to me she went on a dating.

5) She DOESN'T have a boyfriend and she IS attracted to you; she just doesn't want to look like a loser who can't get a man. Most hot women have orbiters anyway: nice guys who pose as their friends but secretly want to sleep with them. Since the word "boyfriend," can have so many different meanings, she is thinking of one of her orbitors as a "place keeper."

 

[devilkingx2]

large amounts of wisdom

I think I want to disagree about asking about her BF, you should ask if a girl has a boyfriend, her answer matters, whether she has a BF or not doesn't(unless you have decent morals and think that a girl with a BF is off limits).

if she says yes, that's basically f*** off, regardless of whether it's true or false, it means you're done, exit stage left.

if she says no, regardless of whether it's true or not, that's a green light to proceed.

if she tells you she has a bf, she's knowingly and purposefully saying that she's unavailable, which means that's what she wants you to think. if she says she doesn't have one, she wants you to believe she's available.

that doesn't mean she wants the D, it just means that she isn't completely opposed to the D yet.

 

[devilkingx2]

I have known this woman for 2 months. Long story short:

I knew she was attracted to me to some level. I asked her if she has a boyfriend, she answered uncomfortably that she broke up with her ex 3 months ago.

all good so far, but I suspect this will all go south in a minute.

Now fast forward to the week of Valentine's Day, also her birthday. I asked if she had any plan for Valentine's Day and her birthday (same day), she answered no and would probably stay home, but she had a dentist appointment at 1PM. So, I asked her if she wanted to go out on that day. She laughed and said maaaaaybe and she said she had to asked her friend first because she wanted to bring her.

as they say in my favorite game, gg surrender at 20.

should've exited stage right when you heard the bolded, not interested brah, you read the signals wrong.

A day later, she asked me if I was coming on Friday (aka Valentine's Day). I said yeah, but she said her friend wanted to go out for a dinner, and she told her friend that she didn't have enough time to meet up for a dinner because we had to met at college at 8PM for a class, so she didn't know what the plan for Friday was.

why did you still agree to go? at best, you'd be going as friends, at worst you'd be ignored while she hung out with her homegirl

The day before Friday. I asked her if we're still going out on Friday, she said no. Her excuse was that she had to go to two different dentist offices, one to remove her teeth brace and other for an examination or procedure that required anesthesia or whatever the heck the name was to numb her mouth, and back the the first dentist office to put back her teeth brace. What the heck, she didn't mention that two days ago.

that sounds like an extremely legitimate excuse, and it saved you from a disaster/waste of time

Judgement day (aka Valentine's Day and her birthday). We met at the college's library for final study. She came with a "big brown bag." It was filled with gift wrapped presents and a red rose sticking out of the bag. I asked her if she went on a shopping, she muttered that she went on a dating (WHAT!?). And while my brain was processing what she just said in shock, my mouth worked faster than my brain and asked "what's in the bag"? She muttered again, but this time I didn't hear what she was saying and I said "huh"? She muttered again, and I thought she said shoes, but I was pretty sure that wasn't what she said. I said to her, "shoes"? She went silent.

more lingo from that same game "/ff gg team too heavy, back broken from attempted carry."

it's over, you lose.

even if that was a legitimate slip of the tongue, it still happened, and it means it's over, if not, then she was trying to tell you "welcome to the friendzone, b****"

Then she sit down on the computer next to me and started browsing clothing on Bloomingdales. When I turned my head over and looked at her computer screen, I saw she was browsing for man clothing. She giggled awkwardly and said to me "I told you not look," which I didn't remember she told me. Then I unconsciously asked her in an irritated tone "why"? She went silent for the second time.

From the moment she sit down next to me the atmosphere changed drastically. I was pretty sure she felt it too. I became really silent and didn't talk to her unless she asked me a math problem that she didn't understand, and I would teach her how to solve it in a calm manner. About 30 minutes later, I guessed she felt uncomfortable in that situation and she said she was tired and headed to the class 20 minutes earlier. I said "ok I will see you in class."

Now my story continued from there but I will end it here because it's not related to my questions. And before you answer, I will provide you with signs that she has a boyfriend. There were many times I saw her talking angrily on the phone with someone. I didn't understand their conversations because it was in a different language. Yes, I should had seemed the signs faster, now it was too late.

so, not only did she attempt to put you in the zone, you solidified your status by continuing to do stuff for her for free with no possibility of reward?

like, there's nothing wrong with having female friends, so long as there's a give and take involved, and not just free stuff for her

1. Why did she hide the fact that she's already dating someone?

. Why did she hide the fact, but at the same time she showed me evidences that she's dating someone? Recall big brown bags with gifts and rose, and muttered to me she went on a dating.

uhhh... who cares? no, seriously, gg, game over brah, it doesn't even matter at this point, she's out of (halo) reach.

the reason is that she intended on using you for free things by keeping you on the hook, meaning the dreaded friendzone as opposed to actually being friends.

alternatively she wanted to subtly hint to you that she wasn't interested so she didnt have to be overt and clear

 

[Raymond]

In future, if she comes and ask me a math problem:

1. I can teach her but that will be like giving her more free stuff.

2. I can tell her I don't know how to solve it, but she will know I'm lying and I will appear unprofessional.

 

[Raymond]

Oh yeah, and then she just texted me RIGHT now asking "hey 'insert my name' how are you?" She has never texted me and asked how I am before. At least not that I remember.

Should I answer or ignore?

 

[Raymond]

Yeah, but how do I refuse helping her homework in a professional way?

 

[devilkingx2]

In future, if she comes and ask me a math problem:

1. I can teach her but that will be like giving her more free stuff.

2. I can tell her I don't know how to solve it, but she will know I'm lying and I will appear unprofessional.

you could simply refuse to do it.

it's really that simple, unless she pulls a gun on you or is your commanding officer and pulls rank she can't make you if you don't want to.

Oh yeah, and then she just texted me RIGHT now asking "hey 'insert my name' how are you?" She has never texted me and asked how I am before. At least not that I remember.

Should I answer or ignore?

I would've said answer casually, "fine." and see where it goes

 

[Raymond]

Oh, I forgot to mention that judgement day when we were in class she had the gut to tell me happy Valentine Day. What do you supposed it meant other than to pissed me off?

 

[Raymond]

NEW QUESTION:

So to continue from where she texted me and asked how I was.

I answered "Just chilling with a friend."

No reply from her, but the second day she texted me again and asked what time I would be in school. I ignored her and didn't go to class that day.

Two days later, she texted me and asked "What happened 'my name', why you didn't come to school? Or are you still chilling with your friend"?

Sensing a bit of sarcasm, I got a little over my head and I replied, "Are you being sarcastic? I didn't go to school because I was trying to avoid you."

She replied "OMG, 'my name' it was a joke."

I replied "What was a joke? That you lied and bailed on me on Valentine Day and went on a date with someone else"?

She got angry I guess and texted me back saying "Let me be straight here, you and I are friends, we don't know each other long to talk like this. It's very soon. I haven't lied to you. Why would I lie? That's your problem what you think. Good bye."

To which I replied "You said you didn't have time to go out on Friday, but you went out. How was that not a lie?"

She texted back "'My name,' I don't know where you get that I went out? The flower was from my friend when I got to school, but thanks very much for your help anyway."

I replied "In the library I asked you if you went to shopping, you answered you went on a date. So you didn't have time to go out with me, but you had time to go on a date with someone else."

She replied 3 times in a row: first text was "'my name, you misheard me," second text was "I didn't say that," and third text was "I went to pick up my shoes I said."

Finally, I ended the conversation with "Then I'm sorry if I misheard you" with a sense of sarcasm because I didn't 100% believe her. How could I misheard "I went on a date" and "I went to pick up my shoes." These two lines are completely different other than the words "I went". But, I doubted she sensed my sarcasm over the text.

About a week later when we went to the class to take the final. I arrived first and was sitting on bench outside the class room and discussing with my classmates over some math problems that might appear on the test. She came and look over to us and wave "hello guys." I looked at her and didn't say anything. She also looked at me and didn't say anything. Once the class started, she was the first one to go into the classroom and picked a seat in the corner. I went and sit in the middle of the classroom.

How could I have handled this whole situation better? From texting all the way up to the day of final.

 

[Raymond]

Forgot to mention that on my 3rd text to her, I also told her that I chose not to waste anymore time with her. I said that because my feeling told me that her interest level was low, it was possible that she was seeing another guy.

What is the chance that everything I saw and heard on the Valentine Day was my misinterruption? How could she explain her bag full of gift and her browsing for men's clothing. Why did she told me not to look when she was browsing for men's clothing? What kind of friend would give her a flower on Valentine Day which she accepted and showed it to my face?

She said she didn't lie, but it was hard for me to believe and I think she's bsing me.

 

[Raymond]

The most important thing is that you cut her out of your life if she is upsetting you, which she clearly is. It looks like you did that. Ideally you would do it with less talking but live and learn.

Thank you for the supporting words, but my mind cannot get over it and it keeps playing and rethinking everything that happened over and over. Deep down maybe I wish it would have turned out differently, and where it went wrong and what were my mistakes

 

[Raymond]

I didn't know there was another man until the very last moment and until I put all the pieces together. I did catch some signs from her that she has a guy, but the signs were subtle and I didn't think too much about it.

 

[Raymond]

Today in class someone sent her a video to her phone, she watched it and smile. Then later when the class was over, she asked me if I want to see something. I said sure, and then she said her "friend" sent her this and showed me a video of a cartoonized character holding a heart with "I Love You" written on it. The character was saying something in a different language. After the video I asked what the video was saying. She ignored my question by changing the topic and said today was Women's Day, then I just acted indifferent.

I assume her "friend" (the same guy) sent her the video on Women's Day, and she showed it to me. But, wtf? What was she trying to accomplish by showing it to me?

And during the class, she tried to invite me to her church. Why?