What to say when a girl cancels?

[Serg897]

^ pure gold.

 

[Married Buried]

Chick just cancelled our lunch date 2.5 hours before we were supposed to meet. No apology but said she's gotta get Xmas shopping done.
How do you handle this? With a cool "ok, have a good one?", or do you point out her appalling lack of organisation and let her know you're not happy?

You should say this:

Actually, that works better for me, my schedule today is bit hectic! I will give you a shout later on so we can make other plans

 

[mrRuckus]

You should say this:

It doesn't rub you guys the wrong way to have a girl bail on you for some innocuous reason like that? She made a commitment and broke it over some bullsh1t reason.

I don't know. Maybe you guys are happier than me because you have a lower threshold but that kind of stuff really, really turns me off and I wouldn't want to employ any sort of slick move to game her.

I dumped a girl who spilled red wine on my carpet and didn't tell me about it. I had to find it myself. Every time I tell the story guys all tell me I'm stupid, and the one girl i told said "she was probably embarrassed" as if that's some excuse to destroy my carpet.

 

[MatureDJ]

Words to live and love by: "A woman who is passionately interested in me will try to maximise her time with me."

I can't remember who posted that but I read it in these forums and it's damn true.

But what if the only women are passionately interested in me are obese - and the slender ones are the ones that flake out on me?

 

[The Duke]

You pursue enough girls and eventually you will be able to predict the flakes days before they decide to flake. Typical flake rate is around 30pct. Eventually experience teaches you that they aren't worth the time.

Several years ago, I had a girl flake on me for a 2nd date. I made plans to pick her up at her house. I texted her before I left my house letting her know I was on my way. It was a 30minute drive. Arrived at her place and she never came to the door. I called her and she didn't answer.

So I went to a neighborhood bar and hung out with some friends. About an hour later I still hadn't heard from her so I sent her a text telling her what a piece of $hit she was. lol, that got a response in about 5seconds.

I fully understand why girls flake, however I don't understand why they think that its acceptable.

Props to Sosuave666........thats a perfect way to handle it.

 

[thevilittletroll]

bottom line is the reason girls flake is because she's not attracted to you and doesnt want to hang out with you. girls that are attracted to you dont flake. calling a girl out on her behavior does nothing. playing it cool by saying "ok" does nothing either. there's nothing you can say that will get her to not flake on you. so whats the point of wasting your time thinking about it. she's not attracted to you. work on your attraction skills. invite girls on dates of activities you are going to be doing anyway. if she flakes you already have plans and its something you do for fun anyway. the ultimate test on flakes is to invite them over to your house for dinner. no girl thats iffy attracted to you is going to feel comfortable coming to your house for a date. the attracted girl will not flake.

 

[AW1983]

SoSuave666,

That was the greatest thing I've read on here in a while. I will be stealing that or some derivative form for sure.

 

[Boilermaker]

I was dating a woman once and we were set for a dinner date. Literally 20 minutes before we were supposed to meet at the restaurant (I had a rez...shoutout to American Psycho for any movie enthusiasts) she said she was running "way late" and probably couldn't make it but wanted to hang out later. I texted back "K."

I went to the restaurant, it's one of my favorites. I sat down by myself in a nice suit with a newspaper. Halfway thru my meal (about an hour after her original text) I received a text from her saying "I'm so sorry babe. I still want to see you, what are you doing?!" I walked up to the bar located in the front of the restaurant, and picked out the hottest woman. I asked her to smile for the camera, and took her photo...then walked away. I responded back to the flaker with a picture message of the girl and text that read "her, probably."

Fortunately enough for me...and somewhat serendipitously (?) the girl in the photo was single. I went out with her and her friends that night, had literally one of the hottest dance sessions I've ever had, and banged her a couple of dates later. Turn your misery into opportunity. And for heavenssake, do NOT allow a woman to play games with you. You think somehow 20 minutes before the date she suddenly got stuck in traffic or something? No way. She knew she was never going to come. That dumb b!tch lost out on a great night, for what was probably a secks and the city marathon with her girls or something. Doesn't matter if she had a date with Brad Pitt (have fun with that one, Ninja), I was better company. Her loss, and ultimately my win.

Reminds me of what Jophil did after he was disrespected in a similar fashion for a dinner date.

HE went ahead alone and had a blast.

These stories are the essence of our philosophy here.

It's NOT butt-hurt players' gimmicks to "game" women, babbling about feminism, blaming others for failure and yada yada.

It's our PLAYFUL reply and ACCEPTANCE with a healthy dose of dignity and

hedonism.

It's accepting them, forgiving them, but putting US on a pedestal, first rather than

them.

Congratulations, brother.

 

[Married Buried]

It doesn't rub you guys the wrong way to have a girl bail on you for some innocuous reason like that? She made a commitment and broke it over some bullsh1t reason.

I don't know. Maybe you guys are happier than me because you have a lower threshold but that kind of stuff really, really turns me off and I wouldn't want to employ any sort of slick move to game her.

I dumped a girl who spilled red wine on my carpet and didn't tell me about it. I had to find it myself. Every time I tell the story guys all tell me I'm stupid, and the one girl i told said "she was probably embarrassed" as if that's some excuse to destroy my carpet.

You aren't supposed to give a sh!t enough for it to rub you the wrong way.

 

[\O/]

My usual response for a canceled date is one simple word: "Okay". This throws them for a loop. They don't know if it's an 'fine, you're gone' okay or an 'it's no problem' okay. It gets them thinking about you and causes emotional fluctuation. Giving a woman an answer that could mean multiple things and then leaving the poor bytch with her imagination is the worst thing you can do to her.

I just got flaked on by the girl i've been dating for the last 5 weeks. It's her first time flaking, but i could feel it coming. She stopped initiating contact for over a week. My plan was to just wait until she made contact, but i contacted her on wednesday to set up a date for the weekend. I barely text or chat with her. Mostly all interactions has been face to face (dates, movienights etc). I have no clue why she has lost interest all of a sudden. Very strange. We've banged it out on all dates and there has been a good atmosphere and banter between us. Women sure are fickle.

Anyways, I called her on wednesday and she accepted to meet up for a date on saturday (dinner and drinks). I had a feeling she would flake though as she didn't seem very enthused on the phone. Today i got a text saying:

"Hi..I have to cancel tomorrow. I've been postponing so much school work this week and i have to catch up this weekend :S Hope that's okay?" (translated from my language)


I know that she exams coming up and is stressed about it, but that would have no impact if her interest was there. She would do finance home work if she had a date with Brad Pitt.
She went from hot to cold with the snap of the fingers. No counter offer was presented either, so fvck this chick. Too bad she has such poor judgment.

I replied with "Ok" after 30 minutes. I won't initiate anything until she does. I doubt she will, so I consider it a lost cause. Shame, 'cause i found myself liking this girl more and more, and although she was kind of my rebound-girl after my ex, I now find myself without a single plate. Oh well, the weekend is upon us


I'm used to rejections and it's fine when the girl doesn't know me, but i think it's much worse when you've been on 5-6-7 dates and everything is (seemingly) great and then poof, no interest. When you don't know what you did wrong or where or why she lost interest, it's harder to work on that and learn from the experience.

 

[The Duke]

calling a girl out on her behavior does nothing.

I've got a few thoughts for you troll....

so when you were a little kid and your parents spanked you when you did something wrong, it did nothing to change your behavior?

Thats the problem with America today, too many people getting away with $hit they shouldn't and nobody taking a stand against it. There's certainly little self-discipline and there's not enough "enforcers" to keep the slackers in line.

If someone keeps disrespecting others and is never notified about their bad behavior where does the incentive come from to change?

 

[Fatal Jay]

I wouldnt respond, because she is expecting a response from you, so that would mess with her head if you didnt say anything to her.

 

[Greasy Pig]

I'm used to rejections and it's fine when the girl doesn't know me, but i think it's much worse when you've been on 5-6-7 dates and everything is (seemingly) great and then poof, no interest. When you don't know what you did wrong or where or why she lost interest, it's harder to work on that and learn from the experience.

EXACTLY the same thing happened to me. She was a 6 (the girl who is the subject of this thread actually) and went from extremely horny and interested to completely cold in the space of 24hrs.
Turned out she had branch swung.
I couldn't believe she could do that considering she was only average looking but it obviously does happen a lot.

 

[Serg897]

I have no clue why she has lost interest all of a sudden. Very strange. We've banged it out on all dates and there has been a good atmosphere and banter between us. Women sure are fickle.

Yeah, its unbelievable when this happens. Just have to remember to be non-reactive, and ultimately she will respect you for it.

 

[Boilermaker]

I've got a few thoughts for you troll....

so when you were a little kid and your parents spanked you when you did something wrong, it did nothing to change your behavior?

Thats the problem with America today, too many people getting away with $hit they shouldn't and nobody taking a stand against it. There's certainly little self-discipline and there's not enough "enforcers" to keep the slackers in line.

If someone keeps disrespecting others and is never notified about their bad behavior where does the incentive come from to change?

Hmm. So you are proposing we "parent" the fvck out of every random chick we encounter until they are back in line?

Honestly, I can't spend my life "enforcing" the sh!t out of some dumb ass damaged girl just so that I will maybe teach her spoiled ass something about life.

It's a very vindictive and futile effort. This isn't the Marine corps,you don't need to keep anyone in line. You are not tied to anyone from your belly either.

 

[Jitterbug]

I'm used to rejections and it's fine when the girl doesn't know me, but i think it's much worse when you've been on 5-6-7 dates and everything is (seemingly) great and then poof, no interest. When you don't know what you did wrong or where or why she lost interest, it's harder to work on that and learn from the experience.

You should talk to divorced guys sometimes for perspective. Decades with the wife and bam - as if she'd never known him. 5-7 dates are nothing.

Don't get caught in the overanalysis of the where what and why. Just move on to the NEXT target.

 

[Serg897]

Just had a situation like this, found this thread useful. This girl is a hot little 20 year old and Im trying to get a second date, but I anticipated an almost certain last minute flaking due to her age. Sure enough, its exactly what I got.

Her excuse was that she got her "girlietime" (i.e. period) and wasn't feeling well. Super lame. I responded with the simple "okay" just as this thread suggests.

Within minutes I got a "are you mad at me? Because Im mad this had to happen, I'll make it up to you" text. So I guess I'll simply put her on the backburner for a few weeks then try again. I might even say something to indicate to her that its her final chance.

Update: Today this girl contacts me, over three weeks later of NC. Slicksters advice was spot on.

 

[dannyyedwards]

My usual response for a canceled date is one simple word: "Okay". This throws them for a loop. They don't know if it's an 'fine, you're gone' okay or an 'it's no problem' okay. It gets them thinking about you and causes emotional fluctuation. Giving a woman an answer that could mean multiple things and then leaving the poor bytch with her imagination is the worst thing you can do to her.

Yes, that's good too. I cosign on everything you just said.

My advice is to make sure there is no period on the end.

okay

Is a minimal investment and will seem ethereal to her.

So me and this girl were going to have a first date today. I text her about it, I asked how she was doing, and she replied "Not so well to be honest. My life is a big sh*t hole at the moment. lol I do want to see you. not sure if i can today"

I waited 40 minutes before I replied...and I replied the one word: "okay"

6 minutes later, she has a facebook status that says "After all the bs I've been presented this week, I feel like some people should submit to the Jerry Springer show...Pathetic."

In fact, now that status has been deleted...Would I be wrong to say that I triggered an emotional response?

 

[scrouds]

Has nothing to do with you, stop hanging on every electronic tag she puts out to the world.

she flaked, don't really care why. Your response is good. Treat it like any other flake. Don't get all up in her business, why should you even care?

 

[stephenbaldwin]

It doesn't matter, just walk away. You care more than she does, she didn't offer a solid counter offer and she is being cryptic. Read nismo, interested women won't confuse you.