What to say when a girl cancels?

[Greasy Pig]

Words to live and love by: "A woman who is passionately interested in me will try to maximise her time with me."

I can't remember who posted that but I read it in these forums and it's damn true.

 

[Greasy Pig]

By the way, she texted that night asking why I hadn't replied (to her can cancellation) and I just told her I caught up with a friend all morning and then helped the bar girls at my local with their Christmas decorations.

All lies but she's seen me interacting with these girls before and raised an eyebrow so I'm hoping my reply really got her thinking.

She said she knew it was a sh!t thing to do but still, the words "I'm sorry" were not forthcoming.
She tried to reschedule for next week but I told her I had a lot on and if she'd like to meet up she should let me know and I'd TRY to rearrange some appointments.

Judging by some of the replies, I think I've done the right thing (apart from ignoring her). Let's see how it pans out.....

 

[3countriesPlan]

well if you ever decide to meet her again you should just tell her to A) go to a restaurant and buy some dinner then bring it to your house B) don't forget some beer or soft drinks C) wear a skirt, and D) dont be on her period (okok that one you dont really have to say)

I might still hang out with a girl that has flaked once but you really should make her put all the effort into making it happen as she has displayed her low value as a person by flaking out in the first place.

 

[Jitterbug]

When in doubt, radio silence is often the best response, followed by a non-sequitur.

 

[Jeffst1980]

When in doubt, radio silence is often the best response, followed by a non-sequitur.

^This.

It is AMAZING how effective silence is in these situations.

This is one of those things that guys with a ton of options do instinctively- they don't give closure when a girl flakes, they just move on to the next.

Even replying with "ok" has a negative effect on a girl's interest level. No response should ALWAYS be your default. It's lamentable that basic human courtesy works against you in such cases, but that's just how it is.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

My usual response for a canceled date is one simple word: "Okay". This throws them for a loop. They don't know if it's an 'fine, you're gone' okay or an 'it's no problem' okay. It gets them thinking about you and causes emotional fluctuation. Giving a woman an answer that could mean multiple things and then leaving the poor bytch with her imagination is the worst thing you can do to her.

lol this is great!

I used to reply with bullsh!t like, 'okay it's no problem!' but in reality, it was a problem, so why pretend otherwise?

Silence is probably the most confusing. Lack of data drives people mad.

 

[Griever114]

There should be classes on this... seriously.

 

[Serg897]

Just had a situation like this, found this thread useful. This girl is a hot little 20 year old and Im trying to get a second date, but I anticipated an almost certain last minute flaking due to her age. Sure enough, its exactly what I got.

Her excuse was that she got her "girlietime" (i.e. period) and wasn't feeling well. Super lame. I responded with the simple "okay" just as this thread suggests.

Within minutes I got a "are you mad at me? Because Im mad this had to happen, I'll make it up to you" text. So I guess I'll simply put her on the backburner for a few weeks then try again. I might even say something to indicate to her that its her final chance.

 

[Slickster]

Just had a situation like this, found this thread useful. This girl is a hot little 20 year old and Im trying to get a second date, but I anticipated an almost certain last minute flaking due to her age. Sure enough, its exactly what I got.

Her excuse was that she got her "girlietime" (i.e. period) and wasn't feeling well. Super lame. I responded with the simple "okay" just as this thread suggests.

Within minutes I got a "are you mad at me? Because Im mad this had to happen, I'll make it up to you" text. So I guess I'll simply put her on the backburner for a few weeks then try again. I might even say something to indicate to her that its her final chance.

Something I learned long ago is to never give a chick an ultimatum in a vengeful way. Saying "this is your last chance" just shows that it bothered you. Always be cool as ever like you really didn't care. Pull back and let her be the one to chase you for another chance. Staying silent or acting distant is far more powerful than anything you say.

 

[Serg897]

Thank you Slickster

 

[Greasy Pig]

Wow, massive bump but I'm glad it was of help to someone else.
It's ironic because I've just been at a pro basketball game and the subject of this old thread was there with some guy.
I was sitting in a corporate box courtside drinking free coronas and eating salmon sandwiches while she was way up in the bleachers.
I was so grateful I went NC on her in January.

I saw it as a perfect example of how the best revenge you can have on an ex is to improve yourself and show her how much better your life is since moving on.
I've lost about 10kg since I was seeing her, got a big promotion at work and I'm mixing in the sort of circles which can get me corporate seats at sporting events.

What would've really made it perfect was if I'd been there with another chick, but all in all, I'm now on cloud nine and I have these forums to thank.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Wow, massive bump but I'm glad it was of help to someone else.
It's ironic because I've just been at a pro basketball game and the subject of this old thread was there with some guy.
I was sitting in a corporate box courtside drinking free coronas and eating salmon sandwiches while she was way up in the bleachers.
I was so grateful I went NC on her in January.

I saw it as a perfect example of how the best revenge you can have on an ex is to improve yourself and show her how much better your life is since moving on.
I've lost about 10kg since I was seeing her, got a big promotion at work and I'm mixing in the sort of circles which can get me corporate seats at sporting events.

What would've really made it perfect was if I'd been there with another chick, but all in all, I'm now on cloud nine and I have these forums to thank. :rock:

 

[comic_relief]

hmmm... thanks for the refresher course. good to see some good information is still around the forum.

I had this happen with this new girl that I was dating. 18 year old virgin that was never kissed before until she met me. We made plans to hang out by going to a movie and something came up. I think family came in surprise style.

She called me up and said she couldn't make it. I believe my exact words were "huh... have fun with that. Guess I will have to go to plan B." It threw her for a loop because she immediately started asking for forgiveness and asking me if I was mad. She then kept texting me all night while she was visiting family. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I was chatting with three other young ladies during that time period while working on my chemistry homework (my church group thinks that I am going to be going to hell because I am seeing more then one girl at a time *shrugs*).

- comic_relief

 

[Zerro]

Wow, massive bump but I'm glad it was of help to someone else.
It's ironic because I've just been at a pro basketball game and the subject of this old thread was there with some guy.
I was sitting in a corporate box courtside drinking free coronas and eating salmon sandwiches while she was way up in the bleachers.
I was so grateful I went NC on her in January.

Similar situation, I had seats in the company box with full refreshments for this chick's favorite team and she turned me down with an excuse she could easily have gotten out of so that was all I needed to go ask another girl instead. Girl B jumped at the offer, despite revealing later that she doesn't even like that sport, and I've been dating that girl since. Some time later was at a place where Girl A showed up and the look on her face when she saw Girl B on my arm was plenty worth it.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Rather than "okay" how about "Sounds good"

 

[mrRuckus]

Lots of good advice here.
I kinda like the "That's Ok, guess I'll have to go to plan B"

1. Shows you are not bothered by it all.
2. WHAT/WHO is Plan B? That will send her for a loop, set her hamster running. THEN, if she inquires, you don't respond. Let it run.
3. She begins to perceive or realize you HAVE other options...and THAT makes you more desirable.
4. If you ever DO see her again, NEVER ever tell her what Plan B was. Let her stew.
5>. I wouldn't call back after doing this. IF she calls back, let HER ask YOU out. If she doesn't, move on.

6. She thinks "yeah, sure, okaaaayyy..."

 

[betheman]

if she cancels and its a BS reason, how about just not responding at all! you give her words and she can feed off this, lots of advice on this site assumes women are stupid! well they know game, they can tell when you are playing games, if she is sh1t testing you and actually likes you, she will play along.
yes, some women havent had the rug pulled from under them and will be shocked when some guy doesnt respond like she has become accustomed to but give her words and she can turn it round like a chess master.
silence is your friend

 

[DJDamage]

You are not her top priority and by her insulting action neither should she be anymore to you.

High interest woman will not break plans 2.5 hours before a date for shopping (she didn't even lie to you that its emergency or any legitimate excuse)

If High interest woman has to break a date, would have to have a good reason (sick, emergency etc)

If a High interest woman breaks a date, she will have to apologize and offer an alternative day on the spot.

She did none of those, you will be wasting your time chasing this broad.

NEXT!!!

P.s ignore above if are already fvcking on a regular basis, the pull push response of going cold for a few days might just do the trick.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

What to say when a chick cancels? Nothing at all. She's basically just flaked on herself.

 

[timmylivingalie]

I would text back, "Oh. so you're one of those... OK"

When a woman hears "Oh", she subconsciously knows that a decision has been made about her. "One of those" will get her speculating from now until doomsday as to what exactly it means.

"OK" shows that you are perfectly fine with not seeing her based on her behavior. She feels subtly put down and insecure because she knows that you have grouped her in with less than desireable people. She has been marginalized and devalued and is powerless to launch fake anger at you.

Now that is using texting to your advantage.

I may use that next time one flakes on me.