what to do about the older sugar daddy friend hanging around my LTR

[BobFuest]

I am annoyed with this guy that is friends with my LT-girlfriend. He is very nice and I have hungout with him a few times and I am not threatened. I am not insecure either. He just annoys me because it really seems like he is desperate and trying to get my girl or something.
Story goes like this: My long term girlfriend has a sugar daddy friend. He always wants to buy her and her friends food (and he always spends at least $70), is always calling her, and always trying to do things for her and/or her girl-friends. He is even taking her friend to see one of the guys from pink floyd (which is probably a grand a ticket).
So what should i do? I met him and defeated him as any competition. My girl loves me and adores me. Things are great but i dont like someone begging for scraps at our feet all the time. What should i do?

 

[Jamo]

Id make use of this opportunity and make him pay for your tickets and meals too hehe

I once had a girlfriend who had a "real" sugar daddy, she used to use his money and take me on expensive dates :cheer:

 

[Wyldfire]

Read this:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=97379

 

[SoCalMike]

I am annoyed with this guy that is friends with my LT-girlfriend. He is very nice and I have hungout with him a few times and I am not threatened. I am not insecure either. He just annoys me because it really seems like he is desperate and trying to get my girl or something.
Story goes like this: My long term girlfriend has a sugar daddy friend. He always wants to buy her and her friends food (and he always spends at least $70), is always calling her, and always trying to do things for her and/or her girl-friends. He is even taking her friend to see one of the guys from pink floyd (which is probably a grand a ticket).
So what should i do? I met him and defeated him as any competition. My girl loves me and adores me. Things are great but i dont like someone begging for scraps at our feet all the time. What should i do?

To each his own, but this sh*t would not fly with me.

You tell her you don't want some other man (who wants to bang her) spending time with her. You tell her to stop seeing him. Period. If she doesn't, dump her.

Not sure what is so complicated about this. You either put up with it or you don't.

 

[BobFuest]

To each his own, but this sh*t would not fly with me.

You tell her you don't want some other man (who wants to bang her) spending time with her. You tell her to stop seeing him. Period. If she doesn't, dump her.

Not sure what is so complicated about this. You either put up with it or you don't.

sorry man but i dont feel i have to control my woman like that. This guy is just annoying and a potenial threat if i choose to be an real assho1e someday.

 

[SoCalMike]

sorry man but i dont feel i have to control my woman like that. This guy is just annoying and a potenial threat if i choose to be an real assho1e someday.

you're not controlling her bro. you're giving her a choice. controlling her is saying "don't do this". giving her a choice is "don't do this or i leave"

see?

 

[Skel]

Im with Socal on this. FLip it for a second. Would she let you hang out with some girl that wanted to have sex with you or would she give it to you straight and tell you to get rid of the girl?

 

[BobFuest]

Im with Socal on this. FLip it for a second. Would she let you hang out with some girl that wanted to have sex with you or would she give it to you straight and tell you to get rid of the girl?

she would let me hangout with a girl that wants to have sex with me. She has. many times. She knows other girls are after me all the time. so what?
Also, men are after her all the time. She is a top notch. So what, dump her because men are chasing her? because she has friends that are affemanate "gay" straight men that she wants as friends but may have other ideas? as far as I know this guy has never made a move.

 

[SoCalMike]

she would let me hangout with a girl that wants to have sex with me. She has. many times. She knows other girls are after me all the time. so what?
Also, men are after her all the time. She is a top notch. So what, dump her because men are chasing her? because she has friends that are affemanate "gay" straight men that she wants as friends but may have other ideas? as far as I know this guy has never made a move.

it depends on what you mean by "chasing" her. my g/f is hot too, and believe me she gets hit on EVERY time she's in public. i don't mean this as bragging, just trying to say i know where you're coming from.

now, i don't mind that when she's alone guys whistle, or say "hey come here!" to her, etc. etc. when we're together, they just stare until i look at them. actually, i take it as a compliment, it doesn't bother me a bit.

but, if she came to me and said "i'm going to hang out with so and so" and "so and so" was a man who wasn't related to her by blood, the answer would be NO WAY. Honestly bro, if it even gets to that point it usually means she isn't that into you and is exploring other options.

Attractive women and men do not "hang out" just as friends. The only reason they're together is sex, or the possibility that it could happen.

If you're cool with this fine, that's your choice. But don't get upset at me for being honest.

 

[Jamo]

Well if she is making time for him at the expense of time with you then it is a problem, but as long as she mostly sees him when you are around it is less of a problem (group of friends).

 

[NewMan]

you can not stop this guy buying her friends 'stuff'. So by definition he will be around you and your girl.

Whether he wants to fvck her or not is irrelevant - guys want to fvck hot girls - thats a given.

What is, in my opinion, a problem, is that your woman is using him to buy her 'stuff' - what does that say about you and her respect for you. Another man paying my girls way is not acceptable to me - and quite frankly - I would have little respect for my girl should she except these 'gifts'.

When U hang out with my friends, I don't buy them expensive dinners - and nor they for me. When I got out on dates - I pay for anothers dinner. Hmmm.

I would take my girl aside and tell her - if you want to hang with him, then fine - but I take offense to you accepting his 'gifts' and for him paying your way.

How would she feel if you spent money on your girl freinds?

 

[BobFuest]

Honestly i trust in her and we have a great relationship. I would be shocked if she was cheating on me. She has said that he probably does want to get in her pants but that was never going to happen and he is just a friend. I even told her to get him to buy her shoes and she said "no way, because then he would expect sex." i feel she really knows whats goin down but is fine as long as he makes no moves. She never makes time for him and only hangs out with him when no one else is around to hangout or when there is a group of us. We have even joked about what a loser or desperate guy he must be to throw money at women. I even feel she thinks he is annoying at times.
My only problem is the guy is annoying me with all the "trying" that he does and all the money he tries to spend. Also, i told her no expensive dinners with this guy and yesterday he bought her $70 ribs (she told me).
I also wonder if I am being too much a challenge and she is trying to make me jealous. yesterday she wanted me to hangout with her (she has wanted this for 2 days) and I told her i wasnt going to because i had to stay home and take care of my things. So she was goin to hangout with her girlfriends but they all were busy so i guess she hungout with this guy instead. what you think?
p.s. i do buy her friends drinks when we go out. sometimes only.

it depends on what you mean by "chasing" her. my g/f is hot too, and believe me she gets hit on EVERY time she's in public. i don't mean this as bragging, just trying to say i know where you're coming from.

now, i don't mind that when she's alone guys whistle, or say "hey come here!" to her, etc. etc. when we're together, they just stare until i look at them. actually, i take it as a compliment, it doesn't bother me a bit.

but, if she came to me and said "i'm going to hang out with so and so" and "so and so" was a man who wasn't related to her by blood, the answer would be NO WAY. Honestly bro, if it even gets to that point it usually means she isn't that into you and is exploring other options.

Attractive women and men do not "hang out" just as friends. The only reason they're together is sex, or the possibility that it could happen.

If you're cool with this fine, that's your choice. But don't get upset at me for being honest.

 

[BobFuest]

also, i cant help but think of one other thing. This guy WANTS to be a tool. He tries really really really hard to throw money at women every chance he gets. "your phone broke? I'll buy u a new one." "you dont have enough money for a bill, i'll pay it." "your cat needs to be baby sat? i'll do it." Its like he has no life or self respect.

 

[SoCalMike]

Honestly i trust in her and we have a great relationship. I would be shocked if she was cheating on me. She has said that he probably does want to get in her pants but that was never going to happen and he is just a friend. I even told her to get him to buy her shoes and she said "no way, because then he would expect sex." i feel she really knows whats goin down but is fine as long as he makes no moves. She never makes time for him and only hangs out with him when no one else is around to hangout or when there is a group of us. We have even joked about what a loser or desperate guy he must be to throw money at women. I even feel she thinks he is annoying at times.
My only problem is the guy is annoying me with all the "trying" that he does and all the money he tries to spend. Also, i told her no expensive dinners with this guy and yesterday he bought her $70 ribs (she told me).

Ok, well this is the last post I'll do on this, I think we're just going in circles here.

Bottom line is, you shouldn't tolerate this crap. Why would anyone besides a chump allow some drooling horny sugar daddy to hang around his girl unattended for hours while he's not around?

And another thing, what kind of girl would behave like this? You say you have a great relationship, right? So why is she out with this loser? What does she need him for? If you're involved with a girl who uses men for money then maybe you'd better rethink how great this relationship is.

 

[Desdinova]

If I were you, I'd go with your woman for the free food! IMO, if this guy wants to throw money around to impress your woman, he can impress you too! Forget your wallet at home and enjoy. Tell him "If you pay for my woman, you pay for me too. We're a package."

 

[STR8UP]

Ok, well this is the last post I'll do on this, I think we're just going in circles here.

Bottom line is, you shouldn't tolerate this crap. Why would anyone besides a chump allow some drooling horny sugar daddy to hang around his girl unattended for hours while he's not around?

And another thing, what kind of girl would behave like this? You say you have a great relationship, right? So why is she out with this loser? What does she need him for? If you're involved with a girl who uses men for money then maybe you'd better rethink how great this relationship is.

There's a fine line between proper and improper when it comes to something like this.

If you forbid your woman to hang out with male friends you are going to come off as being a jealous, controlling, insecure prick.

If she is taking time away from you to be with him, or worse yet you catch her LYING about anything concerning him, it's time to kickher ass to the curb. My last g/f started "hanging out" with a dude that wanted to get into her pants. She started acting strangely, breaking her normal patterns and giving me inconsistent stories. That sh!t can't be tolerated, I don't care how innocent she says the situation is.

On the other hand, she used to hang out with a coworker who would have married her in a half second if she would have been game. I was apprehensive before I met the guy, but after I met him and saw how she reacted to him it was no big deal. If she would have started lying to me about him, that would have been a different story.

Bottom line- youo have to give your woman a certain amount of freedom. If she takes advantage of that freedom and disrespects you it needs to be addressed by kicking her ass to the curb. But until that happens all you can do is let her do her thing and keep your eyes open for REAL signs of problems. You might have to bite your tounge at times, but I don't see any other way to maintain a healthy relationship.

 

[SoCalMike]

There's a fine line between proper and improper when it comes to something like this.

If you forbid your woman to hang out with male friends you are going to come off as being a jealous, controlling, insecure prick.

If she is taking time away from you to be with him, or worse yet you catch her LYING about anything concerning him, it's time to kickher ass to the curb. My last g/f started "hanging out" with a dude that wanted to get into her pants. She started acting strangely, breaking her normal patterns and giving me inconsistent stories. That sh!t can't be tolerated, I don't care how innocent she says the situation is.

On the other hand, she used to hang out with a coworker who would have married her in a half second if she would have been game. I was apprehensive before I met the guy, but after I met him and saw how she reacted to him it was no big deal. If she would have started lying to me about him, that would have been a different story.

Bottom line- youo have to give your woman a certain amount of freedom. If she takes advantage of that freedom and disrespects you it needs to be addressed by kicking her ass to the curb. But until that happens all you can do is let her do her thing and keep your eyes open for REAL signs of problems. You might have to bite your tounge at times, but I don't see any other way to maintain a healthy relationship.

To each his own. I could just as easily turn it around and say that by allowing her to hang out with male "friends" (who she and you both know want to fVck her) she will view you as a p*ssy.

I allow my girl plenty of freedom - she can hang with any female friends she wants. She go to bars or clubs with them. But, for me, male "friends" are out of the question. If the girl has a problem with that, fine, but I won't be around anymore. That's just the way it is with me.

BTW what kind of message do you think other guys get when they see you letting your girl hang out with them alone. The message is "either he's a ***** or he doesn't really care that much about her".

 

[STR8UP]

To each his own. I could just as easily turn it around and say that by allowing her to hang out with male "friends" (who she and you both know want to fVck her) she will view you as a p*ssy.

I don't buy that at all. It's one of those things that make you look REAL insecure if you aren't calling her out for a good reason.

You should never get serious with a chick that has too many guy friends in the first place. That's a red flag in itself. But the fact of the matter is, most people have friends of the opposite sex. Chances are she will start spending most of her time with you when you get serious, the friends come second.

Forbid a woman to have male friends.....that's weak. Know where to draw the line but locking her in a cage is going way too far if you want a good relationship.

BTW what kind of message do you think other guys get when they see you letting your girl hang out with them alone. The message is "either he's a ***** or he doesn't really care that much about her".

Not at all. It shows that you have enough confidence in yourself, your woman, and your relationship to not have an issue with it. If you don't have the confidence in any of the three you shouldn't be with her.

 

[STR8UP]

Bottom line is, you shouldn't tolerate this crap. Why would anyone besides a chump allow some drooling horny sugar daddy to hang around his girl unattended for hours while he's not around?

I just caught how you used the word "unattended". Dude, sorry to say but that doesn't sound good. You are either dating the wrong women or have some jealousy and insecurity issues.

 

[penkitten]

she should cut ties with him.