What if she asks if you're hitting on her?

[Kaim Argonar]

I'm looking to ask a girl out in the coming weeks, but one thing I wouldn't know how to handle would be replies in the vein of "You want me to go on a date?" or "Are you hitting on me?". What's the proper, non-AFC reply in these cases?

 

[ducaro]

if she asks you those questions... beat your chest, growl, give her the most tall standing smile and say yes! also tell her she is lucky, cuz you just don't ask every rose, mary and susan out.

 

[WC2]

if she asks you those questions... beat your chest, growl, give her the most tall standing smile and say yes! also tell her she is lucky, cuz you just don't ask every rose, mary and susan out.

 

[Huffman]

"Are you hitting on me?" - "Only if you say please"
This should baffle Miss Oh-so-confident.

Alternatively, be perfectly honest.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'm looking to ask a girl out in the coming weeks, but one thing I wouldn't know how to handle would be replies in the vein of "You want me to go on a date?" or "Are you hitting on me?". What's the proper, non-AFC reply in these cases?

If a woman seriously asks a question like that there's no need to worry about saying something AFC, more than likely you already have.

 

[Kaim Argonar]

If a woman seriously asks a question like that there's no need to worry about saying something AFC, more than likely you already have.

Yes, this is what I thought. I can't really envision this being told to me, this is more to satisfy my curiosity.

But I'm not referring to the question being asked due to a puzzled or offended state of mind of hers. It's like if she was to tell that phrase in an amused, playful manner, and I'd want to play along smoothly.

 

[Sam Adams]

I'm looking to ask a girl out in the coming weeks

Dude your going to wait weeks???? I can't believe no one said this yet but that is totally AFC and you will be way past the friend zone by then. If you want to ask her out do it now. I get the number when I meet the girl and when I call back a few days later I get the date. I have no problem getting the number unless she says she has a bf. If I don't get the date I say something like "I wanted to get to know you and I am offering time out of my very busy schedule to try and do that. If you ever get serious you have my number and my facebook, you'll be able to find me so let me know when that happens." Nearly every time she comes back with "O, I totally want to get to know you too. How about Saturday or whatever?" If you act like your going to drop her that instant and she is interested in you she will panic and begin validating herself and trying to get something to work. Remember your the prize not her. It is her privilege to be graced with your presence so act like it.

 

[The Deacon]

If a woman seriously asks a question like that there's no need to worry about saying something AFC, more than likely you already have.

Read between the lines here. If a girl asks you "are you hitting on me," she just wants to know if you have the balls to stand up to her bullsh*t. I picked up on a HB9 at a country dance who said this same sh*t.

She asked me "did you just do some sort of cheesy pick-up line?" I responded with a "yes" and gave her a deadpan look like she was a retard or something. She then went off to her friends without saying a word. I went off to my friends that I was hangin out with for the night, and then right before I left I put my hand on her shoulder and said "nice meeting you, Kimberly," and started walking off. She then grabbed my wrists and was like "whoa, hey, I need to talk to you for a minute." She pretty much gave me her number right there.

Kaim Argonar, the point is, almost all of your girl problems can be solved with complete confidence. If you truly have confidence and belief in your self-worth, you never really lose the game. Quit analyzing this sh*t too much. When she asks that question, the game is not over. Just keep control of the situation and make her look like the social retard. Most girls who give you bullsh*t just want someone to spank them. Period. When you get out in the field, you'll understand this.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Yes, this is what I thought. I can't really envision this being told to me, this is more to satisfy my curiosity.

But I'm not referring to the question being asked due to a puzzled or offended state of mind of hers. It's like if she was to tell that phrase in an amused, playful manner, and I'd want to play along smoothly.

If she's playing just toss something c/f back at her like "You're a lucky woman, let's find out how long it lasts," then just restate your meeting suggestion.

 

[Kaim Argonar]

Kaim Argonar, the point is, almost all of your girl problems can be solved with complete confidence. If you truly have confidence and belief in your self-worth, you never really lose the game. Quit analyzing this sh*t too much. When she asks that question, the game is not over. Just keep control of the situation and make her look like the social retard. Most girls who give you bullsh*t just want someone to spank them. Period. When you get out in the field, you'll understand this.

Well, confidence and pride are virtues that I possess, and I'm generally pretty ****y and funny too. Definitely not a meek guy. Very hard to impress or to intimidate, too. Perhaps a bit too silent and jaded at times, but it ends as soon as I get any good occasion to interact.

Dude your going to wait weeks???? I can't believe no one said this yet but that is totally AFC and you will be way past the friend zone by then. If you want to ask her out do it now. I get the number when I meet the girl and when I call back a few days later I get the date. I have no problem getting the number unless she says she has a bf. If I don't get the date I say something like "I wanted to get to know you and I am offering time out of my very busy schedule to try and do that. If you ever get serious you have my number and my facebook, you'll be able to find me so let me know when that happens." Nearly every time she comes back with "O, I totally want to get to know you too. How about Saturday or whatever?" If you act like your going to drop her that instant and she is interested in you she will panic and begin validating herself and trying to get something to work. Remember your the prize not her. It is her privilege to be graced with your presence so act like it.

I'd want to ask her out the next time I'm set to attend to the tennis lessons that we both go to, or on the subsequent week at the latest instead of letting this linger. Believe me.

The only reason I sway is that I'd then need to see her again for five or six lessons and in case of a refusal things would be very awkward. I then couldn't just move on and walk away from her. I'd like not to spoil the courses.

I've already dealt with a similar situation in the past and things went well, and the girl didn't make any drama or mention the proposal to anyone else in the group. I wouldn't get attached to a vindictive ***** in the first place. And I couldn't give a damn in a million years about how the rest of the group views me. This isn't a thing that scares me.

Nevertheless, we only have very brief contacts with each other. Most of the course is spent listening to what the coach tells us and executing his exercizes without replying back to him, so we don't really get any occasion to nurture any friendly contact or to really converse with one another.

 

[Leporello]

Well, confidence and pride are virtues that I possess

Tehcnically, pride is a sin and confidence a modern concept.

 

[SinJester]

It's a sh!t test.

 

[nismo-4]

Ducaro, I LOVE YOUR ANSWER!!! 5 stars!

 

[Kaim Argonar]

Someone suggested me to take an humoristical tone of voice and to answer "Not yet".

 

[escaleraroyal]

Dude your going to wait weeks???? I can't believe no one said this yet but that is totally AFC and you will be way past the friend zone by then. If you want to ask her out do it now. I get the number when I meet the girl and when I call back a few days later I get the date. I have no problem getting the number unless she says she has a bf. If I don't get the date I say something like "I wanted to get to know you and I am offering time out of my very busy schedule to try and do that. If you ever get serious you have my number and my facebook, you'll be able to find me so let me know when that happens." Nearly every time she comes back with "O, I totally want to get to know you too. How about Saturday or whatever?" If you act like your going to drop her that instant and she is interested in you she will panic and begin validating herself and trying to get something to work. Remember your the prize not her. It is her privilege to be graced with your presence so act like it.

What if she really has a busy schedule?

 

[Kaim Argonar]

Well well, what do you know... I was tired of the pressure from the whole ordeal and flatly decided at the end of today's course to ask her out so that we'd go and grab a bite to eat sometimes, and she immediately said "Sure, why not?"

I was standing tall, smiling and looking at her in the eyes the whole time, and while she seemed a bit stunned by this event that she didn't expect, she didn't try to avoid looking at me and was smiling at the end, I got really positive vibes out of it. Definitely doesn't seem that she agreed solely out of pressure, politeness or confusion. And I'm really smitten by her, she's very cute.

I wanted to schedule some specific place and time but I was exhausted because of the heated tennis matches I had just played, so it didn't occur, but she gave me her MSN to allow me to contact her again. I already know in which restaurant I want to go with her.

So yeah, seems like my guts have paid off big time, and save for an act of God, seems like I'll at least get one sweet date, and hopefully something more. Yay.

 

[Bible_Belt]

she gave me her MSN to allow me to contact her again. I already know in which restaurant I want to go with her.

good. don't stay on IM very long. Get the date set, and then make yourself scarce.


seems like my guts have paid off big time

They usually do...except when they don't...but by then you have enough success under your belt that you don't care.


As for your original question, if a girl ever asks if your are hitting on her, just act like you have no idea what she is talking about, like you honestly don't understand the expression "hitting on me." Make her repeat it, then keep staring at her dumbfounded, like she has said the most confusing thing in the world. She'll instantly fall all over herself and verbally stumble backward. When she does, then set the time that you are supposed to meet her to do something you wanted to do anyway. Do not use the words "date" or "go out."

For example,
"Hey, I'm going to go check out ____ this weekend. Do you like ____? Good, come with me. Give me your number."

is much better than the standard "will you go out with me" or the slightly better "do you want to go out." I bet putting the word "date" in the question cuts the rate of positive response by at least half, probably 2/3.

 

[Kaim Argonar]

she gave me her MSN to allow me to contact her again. I already know in which restaurant I want to go with her.

good. don't stay on IM very long. Get the date set, and then make yourself scarce.

Yep yep of course, I won't act clingy.

seems like my guts have paid off big time

They usually do...except when they don't...but by then you have enough success under your belt that you don't care.

Eh, it just feels like complete randomness, and not a reward based on merit or bravery. Some people are bound to like you if you attempt to get a little closer, and some aren't. That's that. And unless you look like a Calvin Klein model or are able to nurture some sort of really special trait that somehow makes you irresistible, your odds are going to be ****ty.

As for your original question, if a girl ever asks if your are hitting on her, just act like you have no idea what she is talking about, like you honestly don't understand the expression "hitting on me." Make her repeat it, then keep staring at her dumbfounded, like she has said the most confusing thing in the world. She'll instantly fall all over herself and verbally stumble backward. When she does, then set the time that you are supposed to meet her to do something you wanted to do anyway. Do not use the words "date" or "go out."

For example,
"Hey, I'm going to go check out ____ this weekend. Do you like ____? Good, come with me. Give me your number."

is much better than the standard "will you go out with me" or the slightly better "do you want to go out." I bet putting the word "date" in the question cuts the rate of positive response by at least half, probably 2/3.

Fortunately in my motherly tongue, while date as an english term does sorta exists as a vernacular word, you'd never use it to ask someone out in a casual conversation.

I said something to the effect of: "I find you to be a nice girl, and thought that it could be agreeable if we'd go out to grab a bite to eat some time."

But in my language, the translation for "go out" wouldn't be as explicit.

 

[Bible_Belt]

unless you look like a Calvin Klein model or are able to nurture some sort of really special trait that somehow makes you irresistible, your odds are going to be ****ty.


If you want better odds, then get good at seeing buying signs and acting on them.


"I find you to be a nice girl, and thought that it could be agreeable if we'd go out to grab a bite to eat some time."

Wow, I mean no offense, but she really, really likes you if that worked. She might fvck on the first date.

Next time, tell her that you are going to check out a new place, or try something new, and that she should come with you. You are still smiling and fun about it, just leave out the compliment and the question mark.

 

[Kaim Argonar]

Wow, I mean no offense, but she really, really likes you if that worked. She might fvck on the first date.

Why, did that sound too meek? I thought I'd faintly signify interest in the opening of the conversation, and then just tell what I was wishing to do, instead of directly asking a question that would sound like an ultimatum, so as to convey less pressure.

Next time, tell her that you are going to check out a new place, or try something new, and that she should come with you. You are still smiling and fun about it, just leave out the compliment and the question mark.

Yeah, that's basically what I envisionned.

Also, I thought I could maybe propose her to walk her back to her dorm after the event is over, does this sound like a good move or not?

If it does happen, I don't know if it has the potential to get as romantic as it could... seeing as it's currently cold and there's snow everywhere... lol