What do you say not to look bad when they ask you

[edger]

It is the truth in today's society.

And by the way...I consider YOU and Omen kind of unique situations. You guys WANT to get out and are STRIVING to be independent. You both UNDERSTAND there are trade off too.

Edger is...on the other hand...justifying his life.

I'm saying exactly what they're saying, which is there's nothing wrong about living with a parent(s) if you're contributing financially to the household and in other areas. And again for the record(feel like I'm mentoring a bunch of 1st graders), I've been saying it's BETTER to be on your own for PRIVACY reasons.

 

[edger]

Quit whinning...or get a haircut.

If you keep both - we might think you are a woman.

Hahh, too funny. Um, you do have somewhat long hair too if I recall, right? But if you like to rip on yourself too, then entertain me. Furthermore, you wish you had hair as nice as I do.

I'm whinning? Well then I guess I am, cause you say so.

 

[Latinoman]

I'm saying exactly what they're saying, which is there's nothing wrong about living with a parent(s) if you're contributing financially to the household and in other areas. And again for the record(feel like I'm mentoring a bunch of 1st graders), I've been saying it's BETTER to be on your own for PRIVACY reasons.

It is better to be on your own...PERIOD.

 

[Latinoman]

Hahh, too funny. Um, you do have somewhat long hair too if I recall, right? But if you like to rip on yourself too, then entertain me. Furthermore, you wish you had hair as nice as I do.

I'm whinning? Well then I guess I am, cause you say so.

I have relatively long hair. But I don't whine.

I do have facial hair too.

 

[edger]

I don’t care what anyone say…but that’s your parents home. That’s you parent that will make the decision when it comes to the home. You are NOT the decision making authority. And that’s an important quality for ANY man.

You're not the decision making authority when you rent an actual apartment either. Your Landlord is. So, based on what you're saying, you might as well criticize those renting actual apartments as well.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...I don't know why I'm even arguing this. Hits a nerve.

It hits a nerve because it matters to you. It doesn't matter to everyone.

 

[edger]

I can say that I did hear a woman say that the reason she left her boyfriend was that this guy HAD NO DIRECTION IN LIFE. Though she was 16 and he was like 23, I think she saw him being just a bum. He didnt have his own car, made less that she did, didnt really know what type of degree in college he wanted, AND lived with his parents.

She told me.. I know you live at home, but at least you have direction in life, plan to move out, and are trying to start a business too, and you graduate this May too. You are STRIVING for something, and he is not.

Now I am not dating or banging this girl, but she had a point.

A point? Try NO point. So because he didn't have a car, made less than she did, and didn't know what type of degree he wanted, and lived with his parents, he was a "bum". Get real guy, yeah?

Let me explain something to you. Do you know how hard it is to get a decent job paying job, even with a college degree, that can afford you a house/apartment/condo and your own car(especially if you're living in the northeast U.S.), and how difficult it is for some people to figure out what they wanna major in, in college?? And so what if a woman makes more than you do, big f*ckin' deal. And you obviously know my stance on living with a parent(s). You have no argument here at all. Some of you guys pass judgement on people for the WRONG reasons where it is unjustified and doesn't belong.

Futhermore, she was 16 when she said this. That was her scumbag parents talking. But you see, it goes to show you at an early age, like 16, parents are wrongly conditioning their kids to think this way. And by the time you reach 23, it's very hard to uncondition yourself. Only the strong with enough wisdom can.

 

[reset]

It hits a nerve because it matters to you. It doesn't matter to everyone.

I'm not sure if you mean, it doesn't matter to these hypothetical women or it doesn't matter to some guys who live at home.

It's a physical structure. I guess guys can just devalue their own self-worth based on the living situation they may be currently in. Nothing is permanent. So to feel like crap because you're in one of those inbetween phases is pointless. It's a roof and a floor. It's not who you are.

So reset says to himself. :crazy:

 

[edger]

It hits a nerve because it matters to you. It doesn't matter to everyone.

It hits a nerve because Latinoman is wrong. His stance/mentality is disturbing.

 

[crashbutnotburn]

I am in my 30's and I live with my mother.

My mother had a debilitating stroke last year. I sold my condo and used the profits to cover her medical expenses, as she had no insurance. (I also got out of the housing market at a very good time :cheer: )

I now live at her house, which is in a very nice suburb. I take care of her a couple of nights a week, I've made arrangements to have her put on my insurance this year, and we have a nurse for her on nights when I go out. I have not met a girl yet who doesn't understand this and isn't completely obliging about going to her place, instead. Yes, being home with mother a few nights a week is cutting into my dating. I don't care.

Point being, there are lots of reasons to live at home. I wouldn't want to be involved with a girl who wouldn't understand my situation.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'm not sure if you mean, it doesn't matter to these hypothetical women or it doesn't matter to some guys who live at home.

I actually meant that what Latinoman said resonates with you to the point of pain because it matters to you, that you want to change your situation because you know it can be better. It doesn't matter that much to a lot of guys. They're comfortable forgoing a portion of their freedom for the luxury of being taken care of; freedom doesn't matter that much to them.

And yes, there may be instances where the women that are readily available to you may be leftovers from other guys. But think about this, how often is it that any woman isn't a leftover of some sort (damn, that sounds tacky). But we're all leftovers of some sort (if we're lucky); it just means that we're living and experiencing life.

No need to sweat over your situation, it's a waste of time with little benefit. Spend your effort on changing your situation if you don't like it. You may not be able to do it today or tomorrow but you can do it; anyone with basic skills and the determination to do it.

It's a roof and a floor. It's not who you are.

This is very true.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It hits a nerve because Latinoman is wrong. His stance/mentality is disturbing.

Care to explain why self sufficiency is such a bad thing?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You're not the decision making authority when you rent an actual apartment either. Your Landlord is. So, based on what you're saying, you might as well criticize those renting actual apartments as well.

Semantics dude. The landlord doesn't care when you come or go, what you have in your refrigerator or where you leave your shoes when you go home. He can care less about who you bring home or how many different women that you see on any given week. There's no one else to worry about how they perceive you and your indiscretions. It has nothing to do about where you live, it's about what effects your lifestyle.

 

[reset]

No need to sweat over your situation, it's a waste of time with little benefit. Spend your effort on changing your situation if you don't like it.

Yeah it's a mountain/molehill thing. Have a ways to go on that. The whole thing at the end of the day is irrelevant, I will get out and get my own pad, so I can trust in that.

 

[edger]

Care to explain why self sufficiency is such a bad thing?

I never said self-sufficiency was a bad thing, where are you getting that?? Have you been reading this thread? I'm all for self-sufficiency, that's why I said if you live at home with a parent(s), you should be contributing financially and in other ways. That is "self-sufficiency". Just because the pad isn't under your name, doesn't mean you're not self-sufficient.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I never said self-sufficiency was a bad thing, where are you getting that?? Have you been reading this thread? I'm all for self-sufficiency, that's why I said if you live at home with a parent(s), you should be contributing financially and in other ways. That is "self-sufficiency". Just because the pad isn't under your name, doesn't mean you're not self-sufficient.

Self sufficiency (independence) is what Latinoman was talking about:
[quote Latioman to reset]...And by the way...I consider YOU and Omen kind of unique situations. You guys WANT to get out and are STRIVING to be independent. You both UNDERSTAND there are trade off too.[/quote]

You said that he was "wrong. His stance/mentality is disturbing."

Think of it like this, if you take away any aspect of your livelihood which you are not sustaining by yourself, can you honestly say that you are self-sufficient?

self-sufficient
1 : able to maintain oneself or itself without outside aid : capable of providing for one's own needs <a self–sufficient farm>

From www.webster.com

​

If you choose to live with someone else while using their resources that's fine. You accept that there are trade-offs like it was said earlier. But saying that you're self-sufficient doesn't cut it. It's like saying that a wife who chooses to stay home and be a mother is self-sufficient because she cooks dinner, cleans and manages the children. Sure, her management of the household has value in exchange for her husband's livelihood but can you can't say that she's self-sufficient?

Blame Latinoman and myself for being old school but back in the day you weren't considered a man just because you had a drivers license or was of legal age to drink, you had to live on your own while paying your own way. People have surely changed.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Yeah it's a mountain/molehill thing. Have a ways to go on that. The whole thing at the end of the day is irrelevant, I will get out and get my own pad, so I can trust in that.

Easy as that. Besides, getting your first place of you your own (house or apartment) is a major confidence boost. I think it's even bigger than getting laid for the first time.

 

[Stavrogin]

I'm in school and simply can't afford to move out. That's not the same as someone having to live at home because his mom had a stroke. But do you guys think most women won't think I'm a loser for living at home?

 

[edger]

I'm in school and simply can't afford to move out. That's not the same as someone having to live at home because his mom had a stroke. But do you guys think most women won't think I'm a loser for living at home?

Why do you care what some b*tch thinks who most likely has nothing to contribute to the world? They should care what YOU think about THEM!

 

[crashbutnotburn]

I'm in school and simply can't afford to move out. That's not the same as someone having to live at home because his mom had a stroke. But do you guys think most women won't think I'm a loser for living at home?

Keep in mind, I don't HAVE to live at home. I chose to. Frankly, I think it improves my market value -- not that I did it for that reason, mind you.

If you're in school, you're in school. Tell her, "I'm in school, I still live at home. I'm saving my money so I can take over the world quicker. "

As long as you don't invite her to an all-night AD&D game in your mom's basement, you'll be fine.