What differentiates a woman that YOU would WANT to LTR?

[Red Legg]

Grandma? So she cvcked him?

Yes...BUT I will say this about my Grandpa he had the amazing ability to piss my Grandma off like no one on the whole planet could.He had amazing game to be married to her for 50 years,my grandma was a beauty queen the whole town chased to marry with my grandpa winning out...he had a great game where he would turn off his hearing aid and pretend not to hear her nagging you could then see the smoke come off my Grandma's head.(he basically did what he wanted) also when my Grandpa died she did not last 3 weeks she could not live without her "precious azzhole"

 

[zekko]

he had a great game where he would turn off his hearing aid and pretend not to hear her nagging you could then see the smoke come off my Grandma's head.(he basically did what he wanted) also when my Grandpa died she did not last 3 weeks she could not live without her "precious azzhole"

Alpha cuckold?

 

[Red Legg]

Alpha cuckold?

Well I am almost certain my Grandfather had side pieces lol and how do you know mother Teresa was pure?? she was very selfish and it's proven she stole money from the poor Christopher Hitchens hated her for doing that lol she was a huge slvt I think..

 

[RangerMIke]

Men want a woman who is attractive enough to turn him on who is a flexible giver. It's pretty simple. Loyalty is also important.

Flexible means the women is not going to try and change him... or give up his hobbies... or friends. Too often chicks will find a guy that meets 80% of her needs then nag the fvck out of him to get the other 20%. Rather than just be happy the way he is. If a woman just can not live with most of what she wants, and be happy with that, then she should just do them both a favor and end things before emotional attachment sets it. Once a man becomes emotionally attached he will change for her... then deep down resent that and slowly morph into something the woman will eventually hate.... then you settle into a passive aggressive sh!tshow until everything comes to a head, and the relationship gets wrapped around a poll.

Giving means the woman appreciates what he brings to the table and do things that make him appreciate her. Rather than considering that he is the lucky one to be in a relationship with her.

 

[LiveYourDream]

The good news is that my parents are both doing better now. I am super grateful for that! The not so good news is that I have to get offline really quick, so this unfortunately is going to be another short drive-by post from me. I apologize. I am truly sorry. I would have held back my original thread posting had I known I wouldn't be able to fully reply, for days. I am sorry. I apologize once again. Know I really appreciate your patience and understanding! I want you to know that this thread and what I asked in it is really heartfelt and matters to me, as do your replies!

Your replies are amazing!!! I deeply appreciate all you have shared! I deeply appreciate the realness and thoughtfulness, in your sharings! I appreciate the time and energy you took to do so, as well! Thank you! To me, your sharings are gifts of insight, into your hearts and minds and what really matters most to you. I am incredibly appreciative! What you shared has touched me deeply!

I will log on and share more tomorrow, after I get off work. In the meanwhile....a very heartfelt Thank you, for all you shared and for your patience!

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

The good news is that my parents are both doing better now. I am super grateful for that! The not so good news is that I have to get offline really quick, so this unfortunately is going to be another short drive-by post from me. I apologize. I am truly sorry. I would have held back my original thread posting had I known I wouldn't be able to fully reply, for days. I am sorry. I apologize once again. Know I really appreciate your patience and understanding! I want you to know that this thread and what I asked in it is really heartfelt and matters to me, as do your replies!

Your replies are amazing!!! I deeply appreciate all you have shared! I deeply appreciate the realness and thoughtfulness, in your sharings! I appreciate the time and energy you took to do so, as well! Thank you! To me, your sharings are gifts of insight, into your hearts and minds and what really matters most to you. I am incredibly appreciative! What you shared has touched me deeply!

I will log on and share more tomorrow, after I get off work. In the meanwhile....a very heartfelt Thank you, for all you shared and for your patience!

Glad to hear your folks are doing better.

When you have the time, can you state your motivation for starting this thread?

-Augustus-

 

[zekko]

The not so good news is that I have to get offline really quick, so this unfortunately is going to be another short drive-by post from me. I apologize. I am truly sorry. I would have held back my original thread posting had I known I wouldn't be able to fully reply, for days. I am sorry. I apologize once again.

No need to apologize. This is a message board, not a chat room. There is no required time frame for replying. Take all the time you need.

 

[LiveYourDream]

[don't] make every sentence into its own paragraph. I aint reading more than the TL;DR until then

I apologize. I typed up the original post on my phone. On my little 2" x 2" phone screen those sentences actually looked like long paragraphs, at the time. I was so focused on what I was sharing/asking, that I didn't even consider the formatting beyond that, let alone on a full sized screen. I had no awareness of how annoying the formatting would appear on a full sized screen. I apologize. Thank you for pointing that out and making me aware. I will do my best to remain aware of that in the future.

No need to apologize. This is a message board, not a chat room. There is no required time frame for replying. Take all the time you need.

Thank you for clarifying that! I really needed to hear that tonight! I am exhausted right now and half falling asleep.

I so appreciate the men here and their responses. I want to show my appreciation and respect by responding in a thoughtful and timely manner. At the same time, life has required me in other places these last several days and unexpectedly again today. Each day I have felt torn inside. I feel like I initiated a conversation and then I went silent. So it feels rude to me, to not be responsive. I don't like that!

I am concerned because I don't want my lack of response, so far, to be mis-interpreted as my being unappreciative, indifferent, or disrespectful, to the men here, because it is NOT, at all, how I feel in my heart. I can see how days with no reply or just drive-by posts could certainly appear to someone here, as such. I don't want that. I genuinely care, so I keep apologizing.

I am not really familiar with what I guess is commonly known online etiquette or expectations. I guess I just try to project what I consider basic respectful and courteous behavior in my daily life, onto how I interact here. Thus the apologies as I've been feeling like I've been rude and disrespectful. Thank you for the clarification about chat rooms vs message boards and the time frame expectations for replying. I had no idea.

Each day I have been pushing and trying to get on here and share more deeply. I want to and I will. It just keeps taking days longer than I ever expected. Thank you for pointing out that it's ok. That helps. It still feels super rude and really uncomfortable to me. I don't like that. I am just going to let go and trust that people will understand that life happens and it is not my intent to keep delaying and coming across as rude.

And...this is the best I have to offer tonight. I am not in the place to dive deeper here tonight. Once again really late and sleep is calling for me.

When you have the time, can you state your motivation for starting this thread?

Absolutely. I will.

 

[LiveYourDream]

TL;DR In Bold

I apologize for the long delay! I appreciated that Zekko explained that there is no need for me to apologize, as this is a message board vs a chat room. I appreciated that clarification of expectations. It helped me trust that it was ok, when my plate got even fuller than I anticipated this past week. In my heart I still feel I have been rude, to take so long to reply here. I apologize again. I do so because that is what my heart feels. I appreciate your patience and understanding! I appreciate all that each of you have shared! It has helped me tremendously!! I am very grateful!! Thank you!!!

When you have the time, can you state your motivation for starting this thread?

As to your question, what was my motivation in starting this thread, it was muti-factorial. I am going to try to write bullet points. It is super hard for me to do so. I have so many thoughts and feelings about each point. I could fill pages here. It feels like I am leaving out 99% of what feels important to share. I also know men's brains are wired differently. Men tend to prefer communication that is straight to the bullseye point. I respect that. My female brain tends to take the scenic route in getting to the point. That can be long winded. I get it more than you know. Example is what is now this very paragraph (and all those that are now unseen as I have deleted them in an attempt to be more concise.)

Here is the bullet points on why I started this thread. I am happy to dive in deeper.

1. I want to better understand men. I want to understand mens' hearts and true nature, as deeply as I can.

2. I want to better understand men, from men directly.

3. I saw this thread as an opportunity for the men, one by one here, to share with all the women who may come across this thread someday, and to teach them, what it is, as individual men, that you truly desire in a LTR woman.

4. I want to understand what it is, in a woman, that takes an already happy man, who is currently enjoying himself and his life, likely spinning plates or dating, to HIMSELF DESIRING to completely change that, in order to LTR a particular woman, for himself.

5. I wondered if any men could pinpoint in advance what it was that would tip them over the edge, to THEM desiring to LTR one woman, or if for men it was more vague and wouldn't become a clear desire in themselves, until they met or got to know such a woman.

6. With countless posts (and understandably so) on SS about what men don't want in women, I thought this thread could shift that momentum of focus, even just for one thread, to instead talking about and distinguishing what the men here actually do want, in an LTR woman.

7. I imagined this thread as a potential game-changer, not just for myself, but for all women who might find it somehow, to be able to hear/read what it is that real men actually want/desire in an LTR woman, as stated by actual men.

8. I want to be an amazing partner for the next man I LTR with.

9. I want to be/become THE woman that a man (unknown), whom I greatly respect and admire, from HIS OWN DESIRE, will himself feel inclined to pursue and engage a LTR, with me, and to the very best of his ability.

For those who don't know me here or think perhaps I am unaware, I get that I am by definition a post wall woman. I am aware. I know I am not a 23 year old, HB10. I am really ok with that. I wouldn't trade who I am, the life experience I have had, or the wisdom I have gained along the way, to be her. I don't feel competition with her. I know I am looking for something different than she is right now and different from what the man who is looking for her, is seeking right now. I wish them both great happiness, including all of you that are looking for her. I wish everyone to find their bliss.

10. It is my heartfelt desire to share my loving and an extraordinary partnership, with a man that I greatly respect and admire. I'd like to find him with as much ease as possible.

I have been off the market by choice, so to speak, for a long time now. As post wall as I a may be declared here, men of all ages still approach me. Men still ask if I am married or have a boyfriend. I am flattered by their interest. I appreciate the courage of their approach. It is with great respect that I kindly and politely reply that I am not on the market.

When I first came to SS I felt incredibly hurt by a man. I was confused and in a really unhealthy place. I was clear I didn't want to partner and create another relationship from that unhealthy place. I was clear that I needed to tend to my own well-being first. I also wanted to really look at, take responsibility for, and to reflect on, and to learn from my mistakes, as not to repeat them moving forward. So, I have been off the market, tending to the care of loved ones and also focusing on healing, reflecting, learning, growing and improving myself. I have done really well. I am proud of myself.

I am in a better place inside myself, than ever before. There is an inner wholeness and inner happiness and I want to share it. It feels amazing. I feel this overflow of loving and caring and I want to share it. I share it in my life already. I also really want to share it with a man that I deeply admire, respect, love and am partnered with.

I deeply appreciate the richness and growth that is inspired from sharing this journey, with a partner, with whom it feels safe to be fully vulnerable and authentic. I value and desire the depth and intimacy that can be shared, as partners who share life experiences and choose to grow and evolve, as individuals and as a couple. The potential is beyond words. I desire to create and share the kind of partnership that enlivens and enriches both partners, in a healthy, happy, and satisfying way. I know to many here that may sound like a fantasy. I understand that. Many here equate partnership with loss of freedom and loss of autonomy. I understand how that can be your perspective if that's all you've known or read about. I know more is possible. I wish to create it and experience it, with the next man I partner with.

Every once in a while, I'll look through online profiles, just to see what kind of men are out there, making themselves available and looking, within a reasonable distance to where I live. I've never actually online dated. One of the men whose profiles I have found myself attracted to, mentioned a book, so out of curiosity I looked it up, found it intriguing so I bought it a while ago. Just the other day, I came across it having never read it yet. For whatever reason I flipped through it and did a quick skim read here and there. It speaks about different levels of partnership and relating. I am not sure, but off the top of my head, this book categorizes examples of partnering levels into something like: A Me Focused Partner/ with another Me Focused Partner. A We or Couple Focused Partner with the same. A Co-dependent Partner with another Co-dependent Partner. A Co-independent Partner with another Co-independent Partner. A Being Centered Parter (or something like that) with another Being Centered Partner. I know I am not doing it justice with this little blurb. I believe from what I skimmed and have read so far, that this book further describes in detail and with examples of how the perspectives, of the individuals partners create/determine/limit the level at which the couple relate and the depth/satisfaction of their intimacy/relationship. As I said, I am just starting it. I just made a mess of something that may offer great benefit to others here, by trying to share from the little I have seen. I'll find out more. I am excited. From what I have skimmed and read so far, it speaks to so much of my own relationship experience and very much to my heart's desire, and with greater clarity than I can even begin to articulate right now. It is exciting to me. This became one of those long-winded scenic route rambles. I am sorry. in summary...

11. I want to better understand how to best find the kind of man who is looking for a woman like me, in order to create and share a deep and transformative partnership together.

It's super, super, late now so I need to wrap this up and get offline.

Really quick before I do, I want to say again how much I appreciate what each of you shared! You have no idea how impactful it is for me, and how much it helped me, to hear/read directly from each of you, what it is you each desire in an LTR woman! Thank you!!! I appreciate the conversation immensely!!!!

 

[Spaz]

TL;DR In Bold

I apologize for the long delay! I appreciated that Zekko explained that there is no need for me to apologize, as this is a message board vs a chat room. I appreciated that clarification of expectations. It helped me trust that it was ok, when my plate got even fuller than I anticipated this past week. In my heart I still feel I have been rude, to take so long to reply here. I apologize again. I do so because that is what my heart feels. I appreciate your patience and understanding! I appreciate all that each of you have shared! It has helped me tremendously!! I am very grateful!! Thank you!!!


As to your question, what was my motivation in starting this thread, it was muti-factorial. I am going to try to write bullet points. It is super hard for me to do so. I have so many thoughts and feelings about each point. I could fill pages here. It feels like I am leaving out 99% of what feels important to share. I also know men's brains are wired differently. Men tend to prefer communication that is straight to the bullseye point. I respect that. My female brain tends to take the scenic route in getting to the point. That can be long winded. I get it more than you know. Example is what is now this very paragraph (and all those that are now unseen as I have deleted them in an attempt to be more concise.)

Here is the bullet points on why I started this thread. I am happy to dive in deeper.

1. I want to better understand men. I want to understand mens' hearts and true nature, as deeply as I can.

2. I want to better understand men, from men directly.

3. I saw this thread as an opportunity for the men, one by one here, to share with all the women who may come across this thread someday, and to teach them, what it is, as individual men, that you truly desire in a LTR woman.

4. I want to understand what it is, in a woman, that takes an already happy man, who is currently enjoying himself and his life, likely spinning plates or dating, to HIMSELF DESIRING to completely change that, in order to LTR a particular woman, for himself.

5. I wondered if any men could pinpoint in advance what it was that would tip them over the edge, to THEM desiring to LTR one woman, or if for men it was more vague and wouldn't become a clear desire in themselves, until they met or got to know such a woman.

6. With countless posts (and understandably so) on SS about what men don't want in women, I thought this thread could shift that momentum of focus, even just for one thread, to instead talking about and distinguishing what the men here actually do want, in an LTR woman.

7. I imagined this thread as a potential game-changer, not just for myself, but for all women who might find it somehow, to be able to hear/read what it is that real men actually want/desire in an LTR woman, as stated by actual men.

8. I want to be an amazing partner for the next man I LTR with.

9. I want to be/become THE woman that a man (unknown), whom I greatly respect and admire, from HIS OWN DESIRE, will himself feel inclined to pursue and engage a LTR, with me, and to the very best of his ability.

For those who don't know me here or think perhaps I am unaware, I get that I am by definition a post wall woman. I am aware. I know I am not a 23 year old, HB10. I am really ok with that. I wouldn't trade who I am, the life experience I have had, or the wisdom I have gained along the way, to be her. I don't feel competition with her. I know I am looking for something different than she is right now and different from what the man who is looking for her, is seeking right now. I wish them both great happiness, including all of you that are looking for her. I wish everyone to find their bliss.

10. It is my heartfelt desire to share my loving and an extraordinary partnership, with a man that I greatly respect and admire. I'd like to find him with as much ease as possible.

I have been off the market by choice, so to speak, for a long time now. As post wall as I a may be declared here, men of all ages still approach me. Men still ask if I am married or have a boyfriend. I am flattered by their interest. I appreciate the courage of their approach. It is with great respect that I kindly and politely reply that I am not on the market.

When I first came to SS I felt incredibly hurt by a man. I was confused and in a really unhealthy place. I was clear I didn't want to partner and create another relationship from that unhealthy place. I was clear that I needed to tend to my own well-being first. I also wanted to really look at, take responsibility for, and to reflect on, and to learn from my mistakes, as not to repeat them moving forward. So, I have been off the market, tending to the care of loved ones and also focusing on healing, reflecting, learning, growing and improving myself. I have done really well. I am proud of myself.

I am in a better place inside myself, than ever before. There is an inner wholeness and inner happiness and I want to share it. It feels amazing. I feel this overflow of loving and caring and I want to share it. I share it in my life already. I also really want to share it with a man that I deeply admire, respect, love and am partnered with.

I deeply appreciate the richness and growth that is inspired from sharing this journey, with a partner, with whom it feels safe to be fully vulnerable and authentic. I value and desire the depth and intimacy that can be shared, as partners who share life experiences and choose to grow and evolve, as individuals and as a couple. The potential is beyond words. I desire to create and share the kind of partnership that enlivens and enriches both partners, in a healthy, happy, and satisfying way. I know to many here that may sound like a fantasy. I understand that. Many here equate partnership with loss of freedom and loss of autonomy. I understand how that can be your perspective if that's all you've known or read about. I know more is possible. I wish to create it and experience it, with the next man I partner with.

Every once in a while, I'll look through online profiles, just to see what kind of men are out there, making themselves available and looking, within a reasonable distance to where I live. I've never actually online dated. One of the men whose profiles I have found myself attracted to, mentioned a book, so out of curiosity I looked it up, found it intriguing so I bought it a while ago. Just the other day, I came across it having never read it yet. For whatever reason I flipped through it and did a quick skim read here and there. It speaks about different levels of partnership and relating. I am not sure, but off the top of my head, this book categorizes examples of partnering levels into something like: A Me Focused Partner/ with another Me Focused Partner. A We or Couple Focused Partner with the same. A Co-dependent Partner with another Co-dependent Partner. A Co-independent Partner with another Co-independent Partner. A Being Centered Parter (or something like that) with another Being Centered Partner. I know I am not doing it justice with this little blurb. I believe from what I skimmed and have read so far, that this book further describes in detail and with examples of how the perspectives, of the individuals partners create/determine/limit the level at which the couple relate and the depth/satisfaction of their intimacy/relationship. As I said, I am just starting it. I just made a mess of something that may offer great benefit to others here, by trying to share from the little I have seen. I'll find out more. I am excited. From what I have skimmed and read so far, it speaks to so much of my own relationship experience and very much to my heart's desire, and with greater clarity than I can even begin to articulate right now. It is exciting to me. This became one of those long-winded scenic route rambles. I am sorry. in summary...

11. I want to better understand how to best find the kind of man who is looking for a woman like me, in order to create and share a deep and transformative partnership together.

It's super, super, late now so I need to wrap this up and get offline.

Really quick before I do, I want to say again how much I appreciate what each of you shared! You have no idea how impactful it is for me, and how much it helped me, to hear/read directly from each of you, what it is you each desire in an LTR woman! Thank you!!! I appreciate the conversation immensely!!!!

Phew..can't believe I read ur post and finished it.

From this post I would say u r a very feminine woman.

It's a sure bet that men will be drawn to your feminity, and all you need to do is scan/filter out the fake men out there to be in a happy relationship.

Besides @AJ84 , u r one of our few feminine gals to thread in SS forum.

 

[zekko]

Men tend to prefer communication that is straight to the bullseye point.

You have hit on such a large truth right here that I want to quote it just to reaffirm it for you.

I want to better understand men. I want to understand mens' hearts and true nature, as deeply as I can.

This brings up a question. It appears that most guys come here similarly wanting to learn about women, but when they start to "understand women's hearts and true nature", the vast majority are very disappointed with what they find. Have you experienced any similar disappointments about men in your research?

 

[fanatic22]

My requirements are as follows:

1. Much more attractive than I can typically get. I need to feel really impressed by her beauty. Somewhat hotter than the usual late night pull won’t cut it.

2. High libido, ideally pestering me for sex. In my last LTR I was miserable because she was very hot but had a very low libido. If this means I end up with a former slvt then that’s fine by me.

3. Great connection in humor especially, but also in music and other interests.

4. Really into me, appreciative, loving, affectionate.

5. My age or younger, preferably several years younger.

Bonuses that would make her the perfect woman:

1. Cooks (and enjoys it), cleans.

2. Passionate and strong willed. (Think crazy latina)

3. Very likeable and conducts herself well in social settings.

4. Obsessed with the gym.

5. Mother aged well.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Well-mannered and kind.

 

[Trainwreck]

1) I need to be attracted to her physically. NO! I'm not asking for some Ariana Grande actress level wife(I'll take that though ) , but **** needs to get hard when I see her naked.

2) Loyalty

3) non conflicting personalities and cultures

4) non black. I'm sorry but I cannot date a woman that looks like my cousin, sister, aunt, or etc. That's just my personal preference. In addition, it ties on to 3 too.

5) Her wants and life goals must align with mine. If you are 23 and your goal is to buy a house and have 3 kids by 27 then you aren't for me regardless of how hot you are.

 

[Prodoge]

About two months ago I met someone while a was studying abroad for a semester, and after reading this thread she seems to have most traits people have described here.

One month from the end of the semester I went on a first date with her and after that things went rather quickly: we saw each other almost every two days, and slept together the third time we were together. From that point to the end of the semester I regarded her more as a plate, with the idea we would go our own way after the semester. At this point whenever I asked her if she wanted to come over, she did, no exceptions. The last two days before I went home we travelled together with some other friends so I was with her for 48 hours straight I realized she wanted to continue after we went home (she lives about 4 hours away). Basically, she invited me to her place (she lives with her parents because we are both students duh) for when we were back home. So, I decided to go there for a week and see what happens. Worst case scenario I get free vacation in a city I have not been before.

It felt like we did kind of proper relationship things, like she introduced me to her parents (no real choice since we stayed there) and friends, had some time with just the two of us, etc. And this past weekend she came over to my place.

What I can say about her at this point:

- She wears little makeup and is pretty without

- Has nice long hair

- No tattoos

- Doesn’t smoke

- Body which I can’t keep my hands off (dressed or naked)

- Goes to the gym

- Dances as hobby (takes classes)

- Well educated, has manners

- Dresses sexy, not sl*tty

- Planning to do a master degree in psychology

- Very kind

- Submissive (she either asks me if what she had planned is fine with me or we do what I want to do)

- Sexually open/submissive (I can basically do whatever I want with her except she won’t give me a BJ, not sure why, I need to talk about it with her)

- When together always horny

- Can have a laugh with her

- She doesn’t talk for the sake of talking or filling blanks (there are moments when we are together in complete silence but not the awkward type)

- Rarely posts on social media (on Instagram only picture from travelling or special events, never posts selfies)

- She shown any negative emotions in my presence and has never commented on anything I did that she perhaps did not like (which worries me little bit because communication)

- She is self-confident and knows what she is worth (pretty sure about this one)


However, she doesn’t tell me much about herself, somehow, I get the impression I don’t know something about her. I might be wrong too, but she seems a bit too good to be authentic, I can’t tell yet. Maybe I’m just being paranoid because of past experiences.

What I do like about being with her is that I have self-esteem issues, I have improved a lot over the past few years but I’m still not quite there yet. Because she is self-confident but submissive, it forces me to take the lead and be confident which I do enjoy.

Anyway, in two weeks we are flying together to Budapest for a week, looking forward to it.

 

[AJ84]

TL;DR In Bold

I apologize for the long delay! I appreciated that Zekko explained that there is no need for me to apologize, as this is a message board vs a chat room. I appreciated that clarification of expectations. It helped me trust that it was ok, when my plate got even fuller than I anticipated this past week. In my heart I still feel I have been rude, to take so long to reply here. I apologize again. I do so because that is what my heart feels. I appreciate your patience and understanding! I appreciate all that each of you have shared! It has helped me tremendously!! I am very grateful!! Thank you!!!


As to your question, what was my motivation in starting this thread, it was muti-factorial. I am going to try to write bullet points. It is super hard for me to do so. I have so many thoughts and feelings about each point. I could fill pages here. It feels like I am leaving out 99% of what feels important to share. I also know men's brains are wired differently. Men tend to prefer communication that is straight to the bullseye point. I respect that. My female brain tends to take the scenic route in getting to the point. That can be long winded. I get it more than you know. Example is what is now this very paragraph (and all those that are now unseen as I have deleted them in an attempt to be more concise.)

Here is the bullet points on why I started this thread. I am happy to dive in deeper.

1. I want to better understand men. I want to understand mens' hearts and true nature, as deeply as I can.

2. I want to better understand men, from men directly.

3. I saw this thread as an opportunity for the men, one by one here, to share with all the women who may come across this thread someday, and to teach them, what it is, as individual men, that you truly desire in a LTR woman.

4. I want to understand what it is, in a woman, that takes an already happy man, who is currently enjoying himself and his life, likely spinning plates or dating, to HIMSELF DESIRING to completely change that, in order to LTR a particular woman, for himself.

5. I wondered if any men could pinpoint in advance what it was that would tip them over the edge, to THEM desiring to LTR one woman, or if for men it was more vague and wouldn't become a clear desire in themselves, until they met or got to know such a woman.

6. With countless posts (and understandably so) on SS about what men don't want in women, I thought this thread could shift that momentum of focus, even just for one thread, to instead talking about and distinguishing what the men here actually do want, in an LTR woman.

7. I imagined this thread as a potential game-changer, not just for myself, but for all women who might find it somehow, to be able to hear/read what it is that real men actually want/desire in an LTR woman, as stated by actual men.

8. I want to be an amazing partner for the next man I LTR with.

9. I want to be/become THE woman that a man (unknown), whom I greatly respect and admire, from HIS OWN DESIRE, will himself feel inclined to pursue and engage a LTR, with me, and to the very best of his ability.

For those who don't know me here or think perhaps I am unaware, I get that I am by definition a post wall woman. I am aware. I know I am not a 23 year old, HB10. I am really ok with that. I wouldn't trade who I am, the life experience I have had, or the wisdom I have gained along the way, to be her. I don't feel competition with her. I know I am looking for something different than she is right now and different from what the man who is looking for her, is seeking right now. I wish them both great happiness, including all of you that are looking for her. I wish everyone to find their bliss.

10. It is my heartfelt desire to share my loving and an extraordinary partnership, with a man that I greatly respect and admire. I'd like to find him with as much ease as possible.

I have been off the market by choice, so to speak, for a long time now. As post wall as I a may be declared here, men of all ages still approach me. Men still ask if I am married or have a boyfriend. I am flattered by their interest. I appreciate the courage of their approach. It is with great respect that I kindly and politely reply that I am not on the market.

When I first came to SS I felt incredibly hurt by a man. I was confused and in a really unhealthy place. I was clear I didn't want to partner and create another relationship from that unhealthy place. I was clear that I needed to tend to my own well-being first. I also wanted to really look at, take responsibility for, and to reflect on, and to learn from my mistakes, as not to repeat them moving forward. So, I have been off the market, tending to the care of loved ones and also focusing on healing, reflecting, learning, growing and improving myself. I have done really well. I am proud of myself.

I am in a better place inside myself, than ever before. There is an inner wholeness and inner happiness and I want to share it. It feels amazing. I feel this overflow of loving and caring and I want to share it. I share it in my life already. I also really want to share it with a man that I deeply admire, respect, love and am partnered with.

I deeply appreciate the richness and growth that is inspired from sharing this journey, with a partner, with whom it feels safe to be fully vulnerable and authentic. I value and desire the depth and intimacy that can be shared, as partners who share life experiences and choose to grow and evolve, as individuals and as a couple. The potential is beyond words. I desire to create and share the kind of partnership that enlivens and enriches both partners, in a healthy, happy, and satisfying way. I know to many here that may sound like a fantasy. I understand that. Many here equate partnership with loss of freedom and loss of autonomy. I understand how that can be your perspective if that's all you've known or read about. I know more is possible. I wish to create it and experience it, with the next man I partner with.

Every once in a while, I'll look through online profiles, just to see what kind of men are out there, making themselves available and looking, within a reasonable distance to where I live. I've never actually online dated. One of the men whose profiles I have found myself attracted to, mentioned a book, so out of curiosity I looked it up, found it intriguing so I bought it a while ago. Just the other day, I came across it having never read it yet. For whatever reason I flipped through it and did a quick skim read here and there. It speaks about different levels of partnership and relating. I am not sure, but off the top of my head, this book categorizes examples of partnering levels into something like: A Me Focused Partner/ with another Me Focused Partner. A We or Couple Focused Partner with the same. A Co-dependent Partner with another Co-dependent Partner. A Co-independent Partner with another Co-independent Partner. A Being Centered Parter (or something like that) with another Being Centered Partner. I know I am not doing it justice with this little blurb. I believe from what I skimmed and have read so far, that this book further describes in detail and with examples of how the perspectives, of the individuals partners create/determine/limit the level at which the couple relate and the depth/satisfaction of their intimacy/relationship. As I said, I am just starting it. I just made a mess of something that may offer great benefit to others here, by trying to share from the little I have seen. I'll find out more. I am excited. From what I have skimmed and read so far, it speaks to so much of my own relationship experience and very much to my heart's desire, and with greater clarity than I can even begin to articulate right now. It is exciting to me. This became one of those long-winded scenic route rambles. I am sorry. in summary...

11. I want to better understand how to best find the kind of man who is looking for a woman like me, in order to create and share a deep and transformative partnership together.

It's super, super, late now so I need to wrap this up and get offline.

Really quick before I do, I want to say again how much I appreciate what each of you shared! You have no idea how impactful it is for me, and how much it helped me, to hear/read directly from each of you, what it is you each desire in an LTR woman! Thank you!!! I appreciate the conversation immensely!!!!

I'm a female and I think it's great to get an idea of what men want but be careful you don't make the very common mistake many women make which is change everything about themselves to be the 'perfect' girl to land a man, then resent him for falling for the fake you, getting frustrated with the poor guy for 'not understanding me/ not knowing me etc, then dumping him for some douchbag lol.

Be the best version of yourself, but don't change the fundamentals of who you are because it won't be sustainable.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Besides @AJ84 , u r one of our few feminine gals to thread in SS forum.

An isn’t feminine. She’s just understanding and nice. Funny how that’s rare enough in women for us to confuse them.

 

[zekko]

An isn’t feminine. She’s just understanding and nice.

That's not a bad start.

 

[MrWood]

OP: my young Russian GF of 4yrs was just as you described... not much about herself... doesnt fill in empty space

this could be a red flag. just sayin (hardcore commitment issues in the long run, pulled away fearing she might fvck it up.. she did)

 

[Spaz]

An isn’t feminine. She’s just understanding and nice. Funny how that’s rare enough in women for us to confuse them.

Haha, yes it is rare my little brother.

Feminity by itself is the opposite equivalent of masculine which is why men r drawn towards it much as a women is drawn. Neither can help themselves but be drawn towards each other.

Part of being feminine is being nice and understanding.

Besides those there r empathy, gentleness, sweetness, a caring soul...etc. To handle a such a women, a man must be the opposite of her; a truly manly masculine man.