What differentiates a woman that YOU would WANT to LTR?

AttackFormation

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2014
Messages
4,124
Reaction score
3,663
Age
31
Location
Sweden
I started thinking but that is surprisingly spot on. What sets women apart for me now is one that actually gives a damn and puts effort in. Women these days have unbelievable expectations and an inflated sense of self worth over guys. The number of women I matched on Tinder with who barely attempted to get to know me was staggering. Even on some dates, these women gave off an air of superiority and to be blunt, had no reason to. They were attractive, but in an average way, had boring jobs they seemed unenthusiastic about, no hobbies or interests and as such seemingly had no appreciation for the life I have crafted for myself. Classic examples of women raised into a society that bows at their feet for simply being female. Feminism truly has corrupted so many women and it's a shame. I don't blame them at all, it's like a young pop star having no frame of reference to reality. You also realize before unplugging you used to treat women this way too so it's no surprise. I will be fair and say that many men operate under similar conditions.

So what sets women apart for me? Empathy and humility. Both in short supply in either gender in a world of social media likes and cheap thrills. The night I met my girlfriend she had a depth and sincerity I hadn't experienced in years. She's not perfect and neither am I but she somehow seems relatively untouched by all these ego boosters.
The increasing tide of vain egotism corroding the fabric of society was a trend that even Einstein noted - 80 years ago! See for yourself in this article. He starts talking about it some way through.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,036
Reaction score
8,870
What would set her apart from the other women you meet and cross paths with?
The most important thing to me that sets a woman apart as a potential LTR is that she must have a sense of morality, integrity, and loyalty. I have to stop here and say that I don't really believe that ANY women are truly loyal - but some are definitely better than others. The other thing is she has to have extreme high interest. If she doesn't appreciate me, there's no reason to go forward. It's been pointed out here that women seem to be attracted to guys who aren't that interested in them - that doesn't work the other way around.

So morality, integrity, loyalty, and insanely high interest. Well, maybe not insane, but you get the idea.

I've seen guys talk about eligibility for LTRs as being common interests, or as being "@ss licking hot". But I find the moral components more important, we can always find some common ground. And of course I need to find her attractive, but if that weren't true I wouldn't go out with her in the first place - it's not something that sets her apart.
 

ChristopherColumbus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 8, 2016
Messages
2,315
Reaction score
1,278
Age
57
Location
korea
Loyalty is #1 for basically all men, corrolaries are Honor and Duty.

#2 affection

#3 supportive, corrolary is respectful

#4 intellectual
Not intellectual. Your typical intellectual is feminist today. She should be more educated in the artistic ideals... not the ideological one.
 

Murk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
4,397
Reaction score
3,340
Age
35
Location
London
I'm looking for a girl that makes me laugh and has a genuine personality. Not over the top with the pressuring, no turning into a clinger after we have sex, give me space in the beginning.

Right now I'm spinning 3 plates (just ended one 2 nights ago). There girls talk themselves out of the job by being too much.

You need to have your own **** going on, your own personal life, friends etc, don't cling to me and mine and get jealous I'm going out.

If they pass these things in the first month or so then I'll look at them more seriously, but they never do, I get bored, they turn me off them, they even look uglier to me.
 

Murk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
4,397
Reaction score
3,340
Age
35
Location
London
Not intellectual. Your typical intellectual is feminist today. She should be more educated in the artistic ideals... not the ideological one.
Not true, you can get real intellectual women who are traditional and love to cook, please their men etc (like my ex). The down side is they want to challenge you, which I enjoy, but when they think they know it all (and they don't) it will just be a source of frustration and arguments.
 

ChristopherColumbus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 8, 2016
Messages
2,315
Reaction score
1,278
Age
57
Location
korea
Not true, you can get real intellectual women who are traditional and love to cook, please their men etc (like my ex). The down side is they want to challenge you, which I enjoy, but when they think they know it all (and they don't) it will just be a source of frustration and arguments.
I guess it comes down to what is meant by intellectual. I like an intelligent woman, but one with a sense of humor, who is more educated in the arts.... one who is not rationalist. I do not like ideological women, who tend to become very argumentative. The problem is ideology breeds egoism/ individualism... and egoism will always undermine a relationship. To my mind, it's the difference between culture and ideology.
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,433
Reaction score
6,929
For me it's simple.

It's my believe that women would be at their happiest when they are feminine.

I would choose a highly feminine woman over all others.

A highly feminine woman is equal in strength to a masculine man thus providing harmony when in an LTR.
 

ChristopherColumbus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 8, 2016
Messages
2,315
Reaction score
1,278
Age
57
Location
korea
I don't consider them to be intellectual
I identify modern rationalism [and for that matter postmodern irrationalism] with intellectual. I dislike all forms of intellectuality insofar as they are ideological. I define ideology as a logical and literal approach to language... as opposed to analogical and figurative.
 

MrWood

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 15, 2016
Messages
1,777
Reaction score
1,199
Age
58
Location
Scandinavia
time together:
a day feels a week
a week feels a day

time stops, literally. that could be the one
 

LiveYourDream

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2014
Messages
1,683
Reaction score
1,739
Location
From the Heart and Soul, of a Woman
I so appreciate all of your responses!!! There is lots I want to share, in response.

I got pulled away, to help with some unforeseen parental medical issues. Looking after Mom and Dad comes first. So, I can't share back about your responses right now. Your sharings are on my mind. I at least wanted to let you know how much I appreciate them. I'll post more in the next day or so, just as soon as I can. Thank you for all you have shared!
 

Toddz

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2017
Messages
255
Reaction score
357
- No tattoos

All of the above is rare today, especially in the same woman.
I don't understand why women are getting so many tattoos. They are not attractive and I don't care if they have some special "meaning" to you.

When I meet a woman with tattoos, I know she has insecurity issues and is a much easier lay. It's basically a dead giveaway...
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,036
Reaction score
8,870
the idea that a women can provide ANY fidelity or loyalty is absolutely ludicrous..
While I do not think that you can count on a woman to be loyal, I have seen many demonstrations of such throughout my life. Besides which, as I said before, some women are better (or worse) than others when it comes to this. I don't see how anyone can dispute this.

I so appreciate all of your responses!!!
I'm not sure if you got what you were looking for, the answers everyone gave were so varied.
 

CMNILS87

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2016
Messages
915
Reaction score
669
Age
37
I want a woman who I get on with and who I click with. Someone who can laugh at themselves and enjoy their free time and wants to make memories. Somebody I have magnetic chemistry with and supports me in everything I do.

Someone who I can have a child with and marry one day. That is it basically.
That’s exactly what a woman would say about a man.
 

CMNILS87

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2016
Messages
915
Reaction score
669
Age
37
1. Can cook, clean, do laundry, is fun to be around when hanging at the house.
2. Has a career and independent
3. Fidelity. Should’ve been taught to her by her dad to not sleep around
4. Personal space. If I have a 12 hour day and want alone time when I get home, I don’t want somebody nagging and asking about my day. I’ll converse when I’m ready.
5. She has her own friends, and a good reputation if I ask around
6. No daddy issues or serious red flags when on regular dates
 

Red Legg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 11, 2016
Messages
923
Reaction score
745
Location
USA
While I do not think that you can count on a woman to be loyal, I have seen many demonstrations of such throughout my life. Besides which, as I said before, some women are better (or worse) than others when it comes to this. I don't see how anyone can dispute this.


I'm not sure if you got what you were looking for, the answers everyone gave were so varied.
Sheeeeeiiiiittt........ zekko.......my dear departed Grandmother who I loved dearly who made delicious Christmas cookies every year who was married to my Grandpa for 50 years was an absolute hoebag ......they are all hoes.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,121
Location
DFW, TX
Sheeeeeiiiiittt........ zekko.......my dear departed Grandmother who I loved dearly who made delicious Christmas cookies every year who was married to my Grandpa for 50 years was an absolute hoebag ......they are all hoes.
Grandma? So she cvcked him?
 

Murk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
4,397
Reaction score
3,340
Age
35
Location
London
We got married men on this forum cheating on wives screaming blue murder if women do the same. It's human nature, we all have a predisposition to do bad sh!t, men and women. You can say women should hold themselves to a different standard and yes I agree. But to me that means not whoring it up on the CC, however both men and women will cheat when they are not happy. Some men and women will cheat regardless out of a desired to be desired. Communication is key, I've had relationships where I didn't cheat, I've had some where I did cheat.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,036
Reaction score
8,870
Sheeeeeiiiiittt........ zekko.......my dear departed Grandmother who I loved dearly who made delicious Christmas cookies every year who was married to my Grandpa for 50 years was an absolute hoebag ......they are all hoes.
I'm waiting to hear more about this grandmother of yours... But let's say this:

Some girls will meet the man of her dreams, fall head over heels in love with him, and 20 minutes later be banging a guy she met at the bar.
Some girls will fall for a guy, be loyal to him for seven years (until the seven year "itch" when the hormones wear off), and then find a new guy to get infatuated with.

If you consider seven years an LTR, I would pick the second girl over the first. The first girl is just a complete slvt. Even if you buy into the idea that all women are hoes (and I don't - was Mother Teresa a ho?), there are degrees.
 
Top