Mr Wright
Master Don Juan
I get the feeling that a lot of guys have taken this whole "improve yourself and don't worry about women" concept a little too far. You need to get yourself sorted, that is very important but you can't ignore the fact that if you have poor social skills and are inexperienced in having success with women, you are just treading water. Failure is often championed as a key learning point in development but I find that successes can become an important yardstick to fight off the bitterness that a few guys seem to have on here. The problem is that to get successes sometimes you have to go through a lot of crap, which too many guys have the guts to put themselves through.
Also guys get way too caught up in ideas that aren't actually making you any better with women. You're thinking and talking about women but you aren't actually doing anything. It's mental masturbation, which is thinking you're doing something because you're engaging with it but you're actually doing nothing. Much like if you go out on a night out and b!tch about how all the girls suck before you've even spoken to any of them. If you look down the forum, so many problems could be fixed by walking away and getting another girl, you don't need to put up with bad behaviour but you can only do that if you're actually good with women. I reckon you'll find a guys tolerance to BS is directly proportional to his options. You want to be at the point where girls being acting crappy is unattractive so you naturally spend less time with her because she's not doing it for you. All these grand expressions like no contact are just mental masturbation in the scheme of things, they are helping you with yourself but you aren't getting any better with women.
I believe that you have to get good and develop standards later
By standards I don't mean shagging fatties :nono: I mean when a girl flakes on you, instead of saying "fûck her", have a little fun with it. Discount her as a dating option but could she have hot friends who you can get in with? Want to try something new to see how a girl would react to it over text? Now's your chance. Go out there and find out what does and does not work for yourself, you will be surprised that some of the things you take for gospel might be wrong. I used to think that I had to be interesting, I wasted so much time trying to be interesting to girls but came across the wrong way. I'm boring now and I don't give a crap, I'm doing so much better. Detach yourself from the outcome and test things out, you'll run into success where you least expect it and work out what doesn't work very quickly. The more detached from the outcome you can get, the more you can get done and the faster you will improve.
Don't be afraid to go back to basics, so what if your ego takes a hit, you'll thank yourself in the long run.
1) Get yourself out in places where women are on a regular basis
2) Talk to them and engage them
3) Tease them a little
4) (something you are working on)
5) Try to get their contact details
It's simple stuff but I bet my bottom dollar that the guys who complain the most are not even doing the simple things like this right. Get off your tinder and POF. Women are social creatures, they will stand there and talk to you if you have interesting things to talk about. Lead these interactions, don't worry about what she thinks because in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter. Just get out there and talk to the girls you think are cute. You will probably suck at the start but become aware of the reactions you're getting. She will become your mirror, if she's cowering away when you roll in you're probably standing too close, simple things like that can change your results massively. You'll become a lot more socially savvy and you will do so much better. And yes, spend a period of time working on one thing, work your way forward in small chunks, it really helps rather than getting swept up in the bigger picture.
What I am working on
Now
- Escalating more as a means to create attraction
- Testing to see if you can get dead numbers out on dates(mainly because I'm going out twice a month due to exams so it's something to do)
- Become more social during the day, generally talking to people more.
Over long term (3-6 months)
- I'm working on my efficiency and getting
- Get into a few new social circles around London
- Improve further on my ONS game, I'm going travelling soon and it will come in handy
No one's ever going to be the finished article but I want to get to the point where if I dropped all the girls in my life, I could get a equally as good if not better looking rotation in place within a few weeks
because once you can do this, it's for life and you're done.
Also guys get way too caught up in ideas that aren't actually making you any better with women. You're thinking and talking about women but you aren't actually doing anything. It's mental masturbation, which is thinking you're doing something because you're engaging with it but you're actually doing nothing. Much like if you go out on a night out and b!tch about how all the girls suck before you've even spoken to any of them. If you look down the forum, so many problems could be fixed by walking away and getting another girl, you don't need to put up with bad behaviour but you can only do that if you're actually good with women. I reckon you'll find a guys tolerance to BS is directly proportional to his options. You want to be at the point where girls being acting crappy is unattractive so you naturally spend less time with her because she's not doing it for you. All these grand expressions like no contact are just mental masturbation in the scheme of things, they are helping you with yourself but you aren't getting any better with women.
I believe that you have to get good and develop standards later
By standards I don't mean shagging fatties :nono: I mean when a girl flakes on you, instead of saying "fûck her", have a little fun with it. Discount her as a dating option but could she have hot friends who you can get in with? Want to try something new to see how a girl would react to it over text? Now's your chance. Go out there and find out what does and does not work for yourself, you will be surprised that some of the things you take for gospel might be wrong. I used to think that I had to be interesting, I wasted so much time trying to be interesting to girls but came across the wrong way. I'm boring now and I don't give a crap, I'm doing so much better. Detach yourself from the outcome and test things out, you'll run into success where you least expect it and work out what doesn't work very quickly. The more detached from the outcome you can get, the more you can get done and the faster you will improve.
Don't be afraid to go back to basics, so what if your ego takes a hit, you'll thank yourself in the long run.
1) Get yourself out in places where women are on a regular basis
2) Talk to them and engage them
3) Tease them a little
4) (something you are working on)
5) Try to get their contact details
It's simple stuff but I bet my bottom dollar that the guys who complain the most are not even doing the simple things like this right. Get off your tinder and POF. Women are social creatures, they will stand there and talk to you if you have interesting things to talk about. Lead these interactions, don't worry about what she thinks because in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter. Just get out there and talk to the girls you think are cute. You will probably suck at the start but become aware of the reactions you're getting. She will become your mirror, if she's cowering away when you roll in you're probably standing too close, simple things like that can change your results massively. You'll become a lot more socially savvy and you will do so much better. And yes, spend a period of time working on one thing, work your way forward in small chunks, it really helps rather than getting swept up in the bigger picture.
What I am working on
Now
- Escalating more as a means to create attraction
- Testing to see if you can get dead numbers out on dates(mainly because I'm going out twice a month due to exams so it's something to do)
- Become more social during the day, generally talking to people more.
Over long term (3-6 months)
- I'm working on my efficiency and getting
- Get into a few new social circles around London
- Improve further on my ONS game, I'm going travelling soon and it will come in handy
No one's ever going to be the finished article but I want to get to the point where if I dropped all the girls in my life, I could get a equally as good if not better looking rotation in place within a few weeks
because once you can do this, it's for life and you're done.
