What Are Some Signs Of A Time Waster

[jamesfromhouston]

Hi bros.

Recently I've been reflecting on this question/challenge I face. I've met many women (online / offline) and often, women will either go out/progress with you or not. (They're either interested or they're not.) But often times, regardless of this, a lot of women enjoy stringing you along to fish for your attention. Basically wasting your time. Sometimes its very easy to spot their attempt & this sort of time waster but a lot of the times, I find it difficult to spot them.

Especially when there are some girls who I've hooked up with, who go into the time wasting mode suddenly (change of IL). Or other more overly sexual/interested girls who seem to want to make things happen.

Fellow bros, from your experience, what are the signs of a girl whose just out to waste time?

Whats your policy on interacting with 'potential' girls before you consider them time wasters?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Your not ****ing by 3 dates. Pretty simple. Most position you to kiss their asses or boost them.

 

[TheKid]

Low effort from them.
Block and delete.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Low effort from them.
Block and delete.

By effort, do you mean you expect the girls to be proactive in reaching out to you?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

By effort, do you mean you expect the girls to be proactive in reaching out to you?

In reality ALL women have ONE man they place on a pedastal, and usually a couple more. If your less than that, then your kissing her ass.

 

[Robert28]

By effort, do you mean you expect the girls to be proactive in reaching out to you?

No. Although that makes it SEEM like effort. It’s a hear fake. If they’re reaching out to you often trying to SEE YOU (ie. a date) then they are not wasting your time. If they’re texting and never make plans with you or you find it hard to mail them down to make plans, they’re wasting your time.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I expect that this posting will receive a lot of absolute ‘black-and-white’ type responses.

I’ll go on record as saying that there’s always exceptions to that rule. However, when things aren’t going smoothly, I do believe that the odds are far less favorable.

Here’s an example; whenever I met someone online or currently as I do, using meetup… I never (if they haven’t called or texted beforehand to say that they are running a little late) wait longer than five minutes after the agreed upon time.

On several occasions, I’ve had women call or text after five minutes usually before 15 minutes of lateness and ask where I am.

I explained to them that if this is their first impression; when we usually put our best foot forward… I could not expect it to get any better upon the second, third or fourth. Although they are at the location, I don’t turn back around either. Chances are they (hopefully) learn something and will be more punctual and attentive with the next guy. —- chances are, a previous guy in their life was a pushover and that’s why I probably received their inconsideration.

The above has happened enough, that it stands to reason that I probably lost at least one potential lay. But also, had I waited around, the majority of these women would’ve been a waste of my time and a dent on my armor of self-respect.

 

[manfrombelow]

To me, they are:

1. Control-freak. For example, I used to have this chick, whom when I sent her the venue & time for our 1st date, she insisted on picking another venue of her choice. This is redflag because she started to show signs she's the I-want-everything-my-way type of girl. And of course it turned me off a lot.

2. Being flaky and lukewarm when being asked out.

3. Most importantly, like @mrgoodstuff said: If you can't have sexual intercourse with them by 3rd date at max, 99,999% it's a time waster. Because, if sex cannot happen when you and her have been interacting with one another to the 3rd date, it never will.

 

[devilkingx2]

A time waster is a girl who is purposefully slowing progression and escalation to a crawl for no benefit aside from perhaps her own.

You know that this is what's going on when she's actively working against the goal (sex probably) but still encouraging you to keep taking her out.

 

[manfrombelow]

A time waster is a girl who is purposefully slowing progression and escalation to a crawl for no benefit aside from perhaps her own.

You know that this is what's going on when she's actively working against the goal (sex probably) but still encouraging you to keep taking her out.

In short: She's dragging you on purposely.

 

[LucianoM]

Low effort from them.
Block and delete.

Blocking is a butthurt b!tch move. Dont block, just delete.

 

[Grounded eagle]

If she’s leading you on,is reactive a lot more than she’s proactive,doesn’t match your energy levels,is hesitant or unwilling to label whatever it is you got going on and would rather work in the grey areas lacking clear definition with you and,most importantly,is holding off sexual escalation,then she’s a time waster.

 

[spred]

- holding Off physical escalation
- actions versus words
- dates you only on specific days because she is “busy”, “not feeling well”
- keeps you hooked between dates on text and messaging, and the dates she agrees seems like prizes won

Biggest sign is delayed physical escalation. She may show up on all dates but finds excuses not to touch you or reciprocate. Aka gives you the cheek.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I really don’t get how a girl will be wasting your time after the third date? If a girl doesn’t like you then it’s going to be really difficult to get her out, let alone put her in a one on one setting. First two dates deserve the benefit of the doubt regardless.

 

[SW15]

2. Being flaky and lukewarm when being asked out.

This is the key thing for me.

3. Most importantly, like @mrgoodstuff said: If you can't have sexual intercourse with them by 3rd date at max, 99,999% it's a time waster. Because, if sex cannot happen when you and her have been interacting with one another to the 3rd date, it never will.

A time waster is a girl who is purposefully slowing progression and escalation to a crawl for no benefit aside from perhaps her own.

You know that this is what's going on when she's actively working against the goal (sex probably) but still encouraging you to keep taking her out.

I have known men who have gotten LTRs of 1 year+ out of women when they didn't have sex with her within the first 3 dates. Once they got to sex with her, they got a decent amount of sex over the duration of the relationship. I don't have a 3 date max rule for sex. Almost all of the time I've gotten sex, it has been by the end of the 3rd date. I think there have isolated instances where I went beyond the 3rd date. I do escalate somewhat aggressively.

 

[Smok1nAce]

I really don’t get how a girl will be wasting your time after the third date? If a girl doesn’t like you then it’s going to be really difficult to get her out, let alone put her in a one on one setting. First two dates deserve the benefit of the doubt regardless.

Yes and NO.

To me sex by the third date is to hard of a rule to follow. In a reasonable world, yes if a women agrees to go one a date with you its always a good indication of a good signs. But in todays world lots of women run of ego. They will simply date just to fill up their day and if your paying...its hard to say no. Most decent women wont even indulge you on a date unless they see something going some where, but their are women who will serial date just for their own ego.



The best and only indication of time wasters is.

-If you set a date and its never a hard yes.


Good | you: "Hey lets meet up at the park at 5pm!?" her: "ok"

Good | you: "Hey lets meet up 7pm at ___ Resturant!?" her: "ok"

Good, if you on the date and she enjoys physical interaction (not necessarily sex)



Bad | you: "Hey lets meet up at the park at 5pm!?" her: "I have plans tonight, maybe another time"

Bad | you: "Hey lets meet up 7pm at ___ Resturant!?" her: "can we make it 8pm at (different restaurant), I hate ___, oh and your paying"

Bad, If you on a date and she avoids any kind of physical interaction.




I've found the best way to judge a women intentions is to immediately test them. Immediately put the ball in their court. If shes hitting on you, within in the first 1 min, yes, minute, of meeting her suggest a place to meet up at. This will immediately put all the pressure on her. If she says yes, she game, if not then you know you have a time/attention waster. Either way it puts her in a frame of chasing.

 

[Dr.Suave]

She keeps replying to your texts but makes it hard to meet up IRL

She shows up for dates but rejects escalation

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Yes and NO.

To me sex by the third date is to hard of a rule to follow. In a reasonable world, yes if a women agrees to go one a date with you its always a good indication of a good signs. But in todays world lots of women run of ego. They will simply date just to fill up their day and if your paying...its hard to say no. Most decent women wont even indulge you on a date unless they see something going some where, but their are women who will serial date just for their own ego.



The best and only indication of time wasters is.

-If you set a date and its never a hard yes.


Good | you: "Hey lets meet up at the park at 5pm!?" her: "ok"

Good | you: "Hey lets meet up 7pm at ___ Resturant!?" her: "ok"

Good, if you on the date and she enjoys physical interaction (not necessarily sex)



Bad | you: "Hey lets meet up at the park at 5pm!?" her: "I have plans tonight, maybe another time"

Bad | you: "Hey lets meet up 7pm at ___ Resturant!?" her: "can we make it 8pm at (different restaurant), I hate ___, oh and your paying"

Bad, If you on a date and she avoids any kind of physical interaction.




I've found the best way to judge a women intentions is to immediately test them. Immediately put the ball in their court. If shes hitting on you, within in the first 1 min, yes, minute, of meeting her suggest a place to meet up at. This will immediately put all the pressure on her. If she says yes, she game, if not then you know you have a time/attention waster. Either way it puts her in a frame of chasing.

Yeah or just make it low investment. I just don’t see a girl going out to drinks with a guy she finds unattractive vs s fancy dinner.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

To me, they are:

1. Control-freak. For example, I used to have this chick, whom when I sent her the venue & time for our 1st date, she insisted on picking another venue of her choice. This is redflag because she started to show signs she's the I-want-everything-my-way type of girl. And of course it turned me off a lot.

2. Being flaky and lukewarm when being asked out.

3. Most importantly, like @mrgoodstuff said: If you can't have sexual intercourse with them by 3rd date at max, 99,999% it's a time waster. Because, if sex cannot happen when you and her have been interacting with one another to the 3rd date, it never will.

I like how you said it "turned me off". That's a sign of self worth. A more naive man might play into it or think he can deal with it.

 

[Striker_93]

Anytime its hard to link up with her.