What am I doing wrong. (day game approach)

[3agle 3yes]

Having looked at your most recent post OP you are improving.

The most important thing is that you're approaching women in the first place, that alone separates you from 90% of the men out there.

BTW in your previous posts you WEREN'T being ****y and funny...I still believe many guys don't even know what ****y and funny means.

Some advice: 1) Initially, come up with default openers, improvise as little as possible, until you realise (and you will eventually in your own time) that what you say doesn't actually matter anymore than the energy in how it's delivered.

2) Do NOT be discouraged that women seem uncomfortable when you begin speaking with them, it could be because they don't know how to react towards you because they don't know what you're like, it could be because you're physically not her type (BTW unlike most guys on here I believe you STILL have a chance despite this), or she could just be using her b!tch shield that works against 90% of the pvssies...nevertheless, either way keep talking.

3) comment on her behaviour sarcastically, especially if she is behaving cold "Wow, aren't you glad I stopped to talk with, you're gonna have to calm down you're freaking me out" etc, etc.

And finally 4) and this is IMPORTANT, Verge in the side of not giving a fvck if you don't already...everybody eventually gets there anyway just consciously try to get to that stage faster. Remove the goal from getting a woman's number and instead focus on "vibing" and connecting with the woman (this actually applies to ALL people, not just women). It's hard to do, but DO NOT base success/failure on whether or not she gives you her number. Doing so is ACTUALLY a subtle form of approval seeking and will add a lot of unnecessary pressure to any situation you walk into because you'll already have a heightened "need" and that'll come off in your communication. Instead talk about the scenario you're in, what she's doing (or both of you)...in fact almost anything. You should be screening them to see if they're the type of person you'd want to spend time with (it doesn't matter whether you're a beginner or not), so if the interaction is going well then you'll naturally take their number and get together with them sometime. If not, then you know it probably wouldn't have worked out anyways and you've saved yourself time.

 

[Thechamp]

It's all a numbers game , sometimes I think it's a bad idea just to cold approach random women , just travel around the world save money go to contries that the women are easy , like asia South america , some of you guys on here are younger than me I have done a lot of Approaches I just think it's easier online these days also traveling is really good , because you simply say where is a good place to go etc !!

 

[DragonBlood]

Ok Suspens. I would love to hit the streets with you. Cold approach day game is pretty much all I do so I will try to help. I will try to point out your three big mistakes that you are making over and over in your approaches.

Who cares, I deleted her from my phone so no chance for oneitis to develop.

This here, is the worst offence by miles and miles. The ****ing biker jacket and professional photos. Fear of macho man catching feelings. You are taking yourself way too seriously. Talking to girls should be fun. But it doesnt sound like you are having fun?

HB: In a rush Suspens, huh?
Me: I know, ok it was nice chatting with you. Bye
HB: Same here, bye.

Girls are very good at giving clues to universal problems in your personality. Its very obvious you are feeling anxious, want to rush to the end and kill the interaction as fast as possible. The girl was interested but was just asking you to slow down. And at even the slightest hint of rejection you bail. Even if things are going really badly you should try to "stay in set" for at least 2-3mins, even if it goes no where, to get over your fear of rejection.

Texted her after around 5 days

This is laughably bad. Its all too calculated, you are thinking like a machine instead of using your senses. I normally text the girl right away. Also, you had no plans for the number? You just "wanted" it. You should also be focusing on taking the girl on a mini-date right now if you can instead of worrying about the number. Make things fun and see if she wants to play along or not.

You are better looking than me, great hair and doing bad, you just need to chill. That is crazy. Over all, if you fix these three problems your game in all situations will improve (not just day game)

1. Too serious (aka scary)
2. Too fast escalating and ejecting, no convo at all
3. Too slow with your numbers, not sure where the interaction is going


Here is how my approaches look. Give this ehm, well honed "format" a try until you are ready to just enjoy the interactions. I guarantee you you will get massive improvements with this setup. You need to qualify a girl and appear to be deciding if you like her or not before moving things forward.

(approach girl with the frame that you are approaching a friend, if she makes an excuse to leave just say you thought she was cute and you had to talk to her, keep it going)
DB: Hey your cute / nice weather today / I like your <thing>. What is your name?
HB: becky
DB: Im DB (extends handshake, yep physicality)
DB: (random convo about <thing> or something in the environment)
DB: So whats your story? What are you doing in <city>?
HB: bla bla bla (make note of things she says, for example lets say she likes nature)

(at some point here, I will sit down beside the girl if she is sitting down)

DB: Oh you like nature, there is actually a park near by I know lets go for a walk (lead by hand or offer arm if interested)
(go on your mini-date based loosely on something she might be interested in!!! Have two or three locations nearby scoped out. Your solid at this point. Cold approach over and you didnt even ask for the number)

alternatively shes not free...
HB: I cant... bla bla bla
DB: Thats cool <make plans to meet again>. What days are you free this week.
HB: I should be free any day this week.
DB: Thursday?
HB: Ok
DB: Cool whats your number. (takes out phone). (once I have her number I text her my name immediately to make sure the number works. I then ask her to text me her name). (Now, they will never "forget" who you are!).
DB: Cool, I will text you later but Im thinking 2pm. I will see you then
HB: bye
DB: Have a good day!


A day or two before the plans we made I will text her again setting up the time. DONE.


You have to take a genuine interest in the girl, and just start having fun now. The quick jump in for the number is just shielding your anxiety. One of my most fun "approaches" is to walk into a restaurant and find a girl sitting alone.

DB: are you eating alone?
HB: yes I am
DB: can I join you?
HB: ok
(30min of convo and a mini-date in itself, girl might not be single. Doesnt matter enjoy the experience anyway. Setup plans to meet again and get number at the very end).

I actually consider the lunch sit down pretty "intense". When I first tried it, it was very hard to actually eat my meal hahaha. This however is massively effective at meeting girls and vastly improves your social skills. You are by definition forced to slow down. Until you slow down and live in the now you are always going to come across robotic and with an agenda that will keep you going in circles. Best of luck.

 

[Suspens]

This here, is the worst offence by miles and miles. The ****ing biker jacket and professional photos. Fear of macho man catching feelings. You are taking yourself way too seriously. Talking to girls should be fun. But it doesnt sound like you are having fun?



Girls are very good at giving clues to universal problems in your personality. Its very obvious you are feeling anxious, want to rush to the end and kill the interaction as fast as possible. The girl was interested but was just asking you to slow down. And at even the slightest hint of rejection you bail. Even if things are going really badly you should try to "stay in set" for at least 2-3mins, even if it goes no where, to get over your fear of rejection.




This is laughably bad. Its all too calculated, you are thinking like a machine instead of using your senses. I normally text the girl right away. Also, you had no plans for the number? You just "wanted" it. You should also be focusing on taking the girl on a mini-date right now if you can instead of worrying about the number. Make things fun and see if she wants to play along or not.

1. Too serious (aka scary)
2. Too fast escalating and ejecting, no convo at all
3. Too slow with your numbers, not sure where the interaction is going



You have to take a genuine interest in the girl, and just start having fun now. The quick jump in for the number is just shielding your anxiety.

Sopt on bro, thanks for your thorough analysis. Really, you spent a fair amount of time reading and spotting my mistakes, thanks.

Escalating the conversation too fast and being afraid of rejection, yeah, that's apparently how I am hiding my anxiety. On being clueless after getting the number, well it wasn't the first time it happened, there were 2 or 3 girls in the past who were really excited about us seeing each other and I knew I had a sexual chance with them, but being clueless and beating around the bush made them run as fast as they could. Having no place of my own is the main cause I guess.

Regarding that chick though, she appeared to be a time waster. Actually I applied DocLove's advice, he said if a girl liked you, calling her after a week wouldn't change her opinion, it would only increase her attraction; this way you can identify users, losers and time wasters.

I just think it's easier online these days also traveling is really good , because you simply say where is a good place to go etc !!

Traveling offers lots of opportunities, including romantic ones.

You got a number, so that's progress. Those first few posts should have got you maced

Approaching in general is pretty demoralizing so kudos to you for improving. Engaging in conversation is definitely better that a sleazy line.

True, being a half-assed comedian didn't get me anywhere, and yes daygame is quite challenging.

Some advice: 1) Initially, come up with default openers, improvise as little as possible, until you realise (and you will eventually in your own time) that what you say doesn't actually matter anymore than the energy in how it's delivered.

I've realized that point in the past, but you will forget and relapse to the same over thinking mindset if you don't practice approaching on a constant basis.

2) Do NOT be discouraged that women seem uncomfortable when you begin speaking with them, it could be because they don't know how to react towards you because they don't know what you're like, it could be because you're physically not her type (BTW unlike most guys on here I believe you STILL have a chance despite this), or she could just be using her b!tch shield that works against 90% of the pvssies...nevertheless, either way keep talking.

I have a hard time understanding the difference between being a creepy stalker and confident persistent guy. Being persistent is a waste of time and even if it works, the girl won't respect you enough.

3) comment on her behaviour sarcastically, especially if she is behaving cold "Wow, aren't you glad I stopped to talk with, you're gonna have to calm down you're freaking me out" etc, etc.

Sounds like a good idea.

 

[Firestar786]

Lot of people have Already said it

Start normal conversations and be less needy lol

 

[Suspens]

How would you guys respond to such a hamster-destroying comment?

Hi, sorry I don't remember you.

 

[mangotot]

Your openers are super sleazy and this is not the way to go.

 

[BrainDamage92]

The best thing which can happen, which gets you laid 100 % every time, is when a common acquaintance says to the girl "Hes cool". From then on its child play.

Happened to me recently, this girl was very stubborn, then while chatting on Facebook one day she says shes having cofee with a friend, and her friend apparently said: "Hes cool, dont make him suffer", a couple of days later BOOM.


With this cold approach thingy you cant help but being a creep. But if you just say: "Hi, Im Suspens, nice to meet you" to a girl who held her eyes on you for a while on the street, you kinda lower the "creep level" + she obviously likes what she sees. I think the stupid ass movie lines is what hurdles you. That and the fact that if you play this game youre bound to fail alot, its talking to strangers on the street, so...

But it makes you much more comfortable around pretty women, so keep doing it as an excercise, its good. But dont count on it as a means to get laid.

Also Ive found that you dont get laid when you want to get laid. You get laid when you do your thing and let good things happen to you. Basically every single time you go with the mindset "I want to fvuck" you fail. Idk at least with me. Then some situation happens out of the blue and good things happen. Its all very much like that.

 

[DragonBlood]

Inner Game

Also Ive found that you dont get laid when you want to get laid. You get laid when you do your thing and let good things happen to you.

So true girls can smell desperation miles away. Good vid on a girls perspective. Strongly agree on be humble and human. Leave ego and process at the door. This girl says it as it is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgUYirBa3Mc

DB: Hey girrl I like yo ass. Give me your number and I'll hit you up
HB: **** off

I think humility is actually something worth working on independently. As its one of those things that just massively improves you as a person and as a side effect your game goes way up. I achieve this by doing charity work, gardening, barefoot nature walks, drinking, and talking to the guys in the bar first, sharing stories and having a laugh. Be a simple relatable man. Doing these "outer game" things actually has a big impact on reducing ego and increasing your confidence. Find stuff like this that challenges you, Im sure stuff like looking after a pet, music, sports or surfing would have similar effects. Your ego can go down from approaching and getting rejected, but if thats all your doing it will take a long ****ing time and could lead to burn out, bitterness and jadeness towards women. The only thing that is getting in the way is your egos attachment to results, and getting the perfect process down is creating lots of anxiety.

What sounds better to you?

3-4 months of no sex but huge growth as a man, just very at ease and relaxed. Which makes approaching and girls in general a breeze.

Or

3-4 months of only approaching, perfecting your routines and getting a girl who you are constantly trying to "string along" with game.

Im definitely not saying stop because so few guys are willing to put themselves out there, but you are looking at it from the completely wrong perspective. You should also scope out areas/shops in the city you like to go too. These can come up in convo and be the places/activities you take girls on dates. (as you said you cant bring them home). Look at the city from a more holistic and fun point of view where every street and shop is there to help you grow. Instead of going down the rabbit hole of "all that matters is attraction and number closing girls". Use all resources available to you. I think you need to let go of how quickly you want to see results when there is work to be done.

When I started out with this stuff, I got a short term gf after 10 approaches, using the worst opener ever. I didnt even want to open because I was so jaded from very annoyed rejections, I only did it on auto-pilot because I was "in the zone" from behaving like this for several hours. I was too tired to even process what feeling anxious was. It was all wrong.

DB: Hey you are really cute, do you want to go out?
HB: ahahaha what just like that?
DB: Yeah just like that
HB: hahaha ok

But when I was actually dating her, I was so anxious and clouded with this game stuff and maintaining the frame that I eventually ended up driving the girl away. This was a painful experience because she was an intelligent HB8-9 and my favorite ethnicity (eastern european), but the lesson was clear.... Theres a bigger picture here, and even though you might get results now with "perfect game" you wont be able to sustain that unless you are also a fun person to be around. I cried like a baby for that girl and was miserable for months because I realised pimp skills can only get you so far. Whats the rush Suspens, huh? You absolutely need to develop your core and interests as well as enjoying the process of talking to women. I think perfect game is alot like fake abs. It only works until it doesnt, when the situation moves even slightly out of your routine. If you keep going down the road you are going now you will eventually be faced with the exact same experience I had. Maybe you need the pain to shake you up a bit, but ideally, I dont think its necessary. ha, I even remember now the girl would wait exactly twenty minutes to text me back per text... which was VERY annoying and had a whole bunch of random rules (that she only hinted at) about how far she was willing to go per date. Because I set such a gamey frame this behavior wasnt surprising in hindsight. It was so dumb.

Nowadays girls are magically much more friendly, they chase me and things seem to smooth along. Its just easy, because I stopped being a machine, enjoy conversation, made some great female friends (boosts mood and experience) and overall still approach but not as my only outlet to improving myself.

Maybe setting yourself a goal of having a 5-10min convo with a stranger and enjoying it would be worth your while at this point in the game. When you do this, sometimes the girls eyes light up by accident and you realise shes attracted, or on other times, because they sense your not actually trying to pick them up at all, they just become very chatty. Not all girls are social though as the vid points out.

Little worried you are becoming PUA instead of a fun guy. Trust yourself, trust the girl, enjoy the experience. Maybe you should get some female friends out of this first to avoid approach burn out. Some girls do have bfs and can only offer feminine energy. Take it.


Just Game

HB: Hahaha. Well I always have a pleasant smile on my face, so don't take it the wrong way.

Its very likely at this point she was getting worried, and wanted more substance to the interaction, and eventually just pawned off her number to keep you happy. Sounds like she wanted to talk but you came on too strong and just ignored the girl.

You have mastered the skill of creepy openers. Imagine a 20 something girl walks up to you and says this:
HB: Hey quick question, Is it true that if a guy likes a girl, he wouldn't confuse her or play games. A simple smile could start a new love affair. No pick up line or playful banter is needed. The girl expresses her interest with a friendly smile, and the guy would smile back. And that would be the start of a new friendship.

Even on a HB8-10 Would you feel like smiling to this question from a random stranger!!!!! Its a buzz killer, a loaded question and means the girl was either very recently dumped or very controlling.

My response
DB: I dont know really, thats a strange question. I would need to think about it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHaajMG9adE

I like to flip the openers into a women using them and see how retarded I am getting Havent thought like this in a long time though.

I applied DocLove's advice, he said if a girl liked you, calling her after a week wouldn't change her opinion, it would only increase her attraction; this way you can identify users, losers and time wasters.

Hi, sorry I don't remember you.

How would you guys respond to such a hamster-destroying comment?

Dude I told you. You are overthinking this and too deep in the matrix. People are bad with names and it was a short interaction. DocLove is giving bad advice. She wasnt trying to "destory your frame", she just forgot about you because you waited too long and messaged out of the blue. It wont increase her attraction, she will just forget. Its common sense! Stop thinking about how to game this girl and put yourself back on the streets. You shouldnt be thinking about game, in general. The interaction had no substance besides you fawning over her and needing to go asap.

As a day gamer I always text a girl my name the second I have her number and ask her to text me back hers to avoid this problem. **** DocLove. You are taking text game advice from a 70 year old man????? Did girls even have phones back then?

Doc Love's additional ideas from his philosophy include bringing salesmanship into the area of dating, namely by "closing the deal" with a woman by getting her HOME phone number.

Holy ****ing ****.


Make plans. Get Number. Text Right Away.


At least give it a try as an experiment and see who is giving better advice. 10 girls (wait 5 days). 10 girls (make plans, text right away). Unless the two of you have made plans all this talk about increasing her attraction is complete nonsense *flips table*. Dont use the phone to increase attraction. Logistics only.

Heres a great vid from julien. Same kind of field logic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWSf0CAwUlc

 

[Suspens]

Make plans. Get Number. Text Right Away.

Lol@ DocLove; getting their home phone number, that's so 90s.

Very informative post again good job man.

I doubt she would forget about me, she called my name two times during that brief conversation.

Attachment to results and wet dreaming about how soon I ccould be able to achieve them yeah. That's a major flaw.

Regarding pain, I certainly won't be able to undergo any further pain. Just want a HB10 to get naked and jump on my D. It's getting kinda frustrating. You wander around like a hobo to approach and find the ones you find attractive, some don't even acknowledge your existence, which is okay. But some of them are fvcked in the head, like this last chick.

But I accept full responsibility, I showed so much eagerness during the approach, yet I waited 5 days to send a simple text. That's being incongruent. Incongruent actions make you look creepy, as explained by mike.

Make plans. Get Number. Text Right Away.

Yeah that's the way to go.

With this cold approach thingy you cant help but being a creep. But if you just say: "Hi, Im Suspens, nice to meet you" to a girl who held her eyes on you for a while on the street, you kinda lower the "creep level" + she obviously likes what she sees. I think the stupid ass movie lines is what hurdles you. That and the fact that if you play this game youre bound to fail alot, its talking to strangers on the street, so...

Another hassle free method is to smile at girls who are coming from the other direction, if they smile back then it's all too easy.

Your openers are super sleazy and this is not the way to go.

What do you think about the latest one?

 

[Suspens]

Double

 

[DragonBlood]

I doubt she would forget about me, she called my name two times during that brief conversation.

Haha dont underestimate how forgetful people actually are, or take it personally. She is just a passing entity. You remember all the details because you are so focused on this sticking point and trying to improve. But do you even remember what you had for lunch five days ago?

It's getting kinda frustrating.

Dont lose hope! You are going great bro.

I have alot to add on your post, but I would rather wait for you to take action and have what I have written so far sink in and see if your approaches improve. Here is my mission for you on your next day game outing.


1. You are not allowed to go home until you have three numbers. Even if they wont go for a plan to meet up again, and they are trying to exit, just push for the number anyway. Most likely flakey numbers but You need more practice here so it comes off more effortlessly in the future.
2. Try to make at least one female friend aka no intention of sex. Just someone cool to hang out with and talk to again later. All those HB6-7 you pass off are great candidates now. Its time you started seeing the extra benefits of the skill you are working on.
3. Even if things appear to be going badly just try to keep the girl talking for at least 2mins. Put the focus of the convo on her.


Post results and I will help you with nearing your burnout. I think you are going to get much better results this time around to be honest. I am really enjoying this thread, people who actually go out and day game after putting up the thread and actually improve are so rare, so alot of my experiences day gaming go to waste. Keep going Suspens. Also, dont just try hitting girls on the street. Dont forget cashiers, shop assistants or sandwich bar girls. You will at the least get a friendly conversation to break things up. These girls are particularly good for building friendships and new social circles as you will bump into them again and again.

 

[Thechamp]

Sometimes I think it's much better metting girls threw social circle , some guys go out and approach thousands of women and get no results , so basically sometimes I think some guys just should meet girls other ways online and threw freinds .

 

[DragonBlood]

Decided to some day game to keep you motivated Suspens. Just realised we are the same age, except you are more attractive. So whatever I can do you certainly can do.


HB8 22yr, 3 set. All hot.

HB: Hey would you like to do a survey bla bla bla
DB: Do I get your number or is it just for fun (her two friends wander off at this point)
HB: haha maybe
DB: Whats your name?
HB: Sarah
DB: DB (handshake)
HB: (goes in detail about survey) So would you be free to do it today?
DB: (pause, game now processing) Wednesday or Thursday would suit me better
HB: I will be around Thursday
DB: Do you want to go to lunch Thursday?
HB: haha I will have to see. Whats your number? (writes my number in her notebook and my name)
DB: Ok well you have my number anyway let me know
HB: Ok
DB: Nice meeting you. (bounce)

Fairly simple, obviously bending some of my rules here by not getting her number or really trying to make this solid, but I have enough girls to worry about atm. I cant wait to see what her text is, will she throw in a friendly offer or will it be professional. She was smiling alot so, never know I guess. Great ass


HB5 35yr

It was 20C today, just waiting at the bus and sat beside a slim girl. Not as hot as I thought once I got a look at her so just chatted.

(5min of nothing)
DB: Very hot today isnt it?
HB: Yeah it is, Im going to be all sunburned on one side
DB: Yeah I sun burn very easy (tells story)
(1min pause)
DB: Whats your story? Are you working
HB: Yeah Im a receptionist, just started a few weeks ago
(started chatting, she got really into it and carried the convo, Eventually she had to leave for her bus.)
DB: Getting out of the sun?
HB: Yeah exactly see you again!

I didnt make plans or get a number for this one, just chatting. Does get you out of your head though. Actually enjoyed talking to this one more.


THE GAME.

 

[Gray The Prince]

You guys are a bunch of goons. Those are pics of Antonio Banderas, obvious troll is obvious.

 

[Mr_Maximus]

Me: hey hey cutie, Who wants to be my sweet gurl right now?
HB9: Ewwww,leave me alone.
HB9's friend: Hahaha
EJECT

Direct cold approach
Me: Hey look at me for a second
HB10:*Turns her head and curiously stares at Suspens
Me: Give me your number
HB10: I don't want to give you my number.
Me: Oh. But I thought you are in love with me?
HB10: Sure sure. You can leave now
Me: Well you lost a very good good opportunity:moon:
EJECT


Me: AAAWWW Those eyes look really cute.:flowers:
HB8: *Throws her handbag at Suspens.
EJECT, walking away hysterically

Me: Hey hey, Who wants a cool boyfriend right now?
HB7:Thx. I already have one.
Me: Oh, just one? You should think about increasing your options then.
HB7: I can't even consider you as an option. Fvck off.
EJECT


I will be updating this thread as I go through this. Feedback and ideas welcome.

You are basically approaching these women with "you want some ****?"

Of course, they are going to reject you.

 

[DragonBlood]

Well, maybe the pics are fake, but my approaches and advice are real. Suspens even has a challenge to get three numbers in his next day game outing. If its a troll and I got a HB8 out of it, jokes not on me for trying to help a guy.

 

[Suspens]

Good job dragon, would like to see your FRs posted on this topic. My main 'mental obstacle' is how people would look at me while I'm approaching. "Lol look at that creep with his d1ck in his hands trying to get some".

BTW i CALLED the girl for the first time and she answered. She and her sister were listening to our conversation as I heard them laughing when I made a joke and said I had a dream about you last night. Here's the highlight of our conversation:


HB: I don't want anything to do with you, no friendship no relationship, nothing. (Soft tone, couldn't take her seriously)
ME: WHYY? (In a sad joking tone)
HB: You are arrogant.
ME: How old are you btw I forgot to ask? and What is your zodaic sign? Let me guess you are aries
HB: Wow how did you guess
ME: My sixth sense is strong

the rest of our convo was bullshet, some comedy clowning here and there.

@Max: Well it's kinda hard to hide that intention lol.

You guys are a bunch of goons. Those are pics of Antonio Banderas, obvious troll is obvious.

You are probably the smartest man alive. His name is included in the URL, and I said that's how I look like. I didn't claim I'm antonio banderas.:crackup:

 

[Suspens]

There we go again, it turned into a full scale oneitis. I made the mistake of memorizing her number, like the other few numbers which I got in my whole life. Desperation that much..?

 

[Suspens]

Sorry for this stupid but any ideas about her comments? I think she is in another castle.

Anyway won't change the topic as it is about day game but I would appreciate any inputs.