Was I Too Harsh Here?

[Clockwerk50]

I agree with everyone here. Constructive criticism here, remember not to give up your power so easily. Sometimes it is best to mask your anger and frustration, and to appear content and agreeable. The best way to teach them a lesson is to reflect their behavior back to them.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

I agree with everyone here. Constructive criticism here, remember not to give up your power so easily. Sometimes it is best to mask your anger and frustration, and to appear content and agreeable. The best way to teach them a lesson is to reflect their behavior back to them.

Usually I am very calm and either just respond to these types of messages with "Okay, no problem" ot just ignore them. I even told her about another girl just to spite her.

This was quite uncharacteristic of me for sure.

I could have suggested a FWB situation in hindsight. But that's 20/20 after all.

Best thing I can do is learn from this experience, particularly when catching feelings.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Constructive criticism here, remember not to give up your power so easily.

You have to know what your power is, though. Not everyone here knows how to stand in their power.

Sometimes it is best to mask your anger and frustration, and to appear content and agreeable.

I'd say be disagreeable, but in a mature way. No drama allowed into the argument. No sidetracking, no excuses. And don't show anger or exasperation.

The best way to teach them a lesson is to reflect their behavior back to them.

You mean offer friendship because you're worried about rejection someone?

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

You have to know what your power is, though. Not everyone here knows how to stand in their power.


I'd say be disagreeable, but in a mature way. No drama allowed into the argument. No sidetracking, no excuses. And don't show anger or exasperation.


You mean offer friendship because you're worried about rejection someone?

No, I don't offer friendship. I meant as in I was getting needy and a case of oneitis so I'll learn from next time. I'll also learn not to react badly and be calm.

 

[Clockwerk50]

You have to know what your power is, though. Not everyone here knows how to stand in their power.

Who?

I'd say be disagreeable, but in a mature way. No drama allowed into the argument. No sidetracking, no excuses. And don't show anger or exasperation

OP should have agreed, disagreed, or ignored the text. Anything but coming off a butthurt. Not saying your option is wrong either, some options are just more manipulative than the others.

You mean offer friendship because you're worried about rejection someone?

I don’t know about the “worried” part. The idea is that people often remain stuck in their own perspectives. When you complain about their insensitivity, they might appear to understand but usually resist change. By mirroring their behavior instead of confronting them directly, you give them a choice: to ignore you or to reflect on their actions. Even if they choose to ignore it, you plant a seed of awareness that can grow over time. Please see @RickTheToad post to see an example of how this strategy works.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

Who?



OP should have agreed, disagreed, or ignored the text. Anything but coming off a butthurt. Not saying your option is wrong either, some options are just more manipulative than the others.



I don’t know about the “worried” part. The idea is that people often remain stuck in their own perspectives. When you complain about their insensitivity, they might appear to understand but usually resist change. By mirroring their behavior instead of confronting them directly, you give them a choice: to ignore you or to reflect on their actions. Even if they choose to ignore it, you plant a seed of awareness that can grow over time. Please see @RickTheToad post to see an example of how this strategy works.

Yeah, I reacted badly for sure. I should have just ignored it. It is what it is now.