gonnamakeit: Point taken. Like I said before, although I have a pretty good perspective on things right now and I definitely am in no danger of going AFC again any time soon, my mind still isn't right from being suddenly severed from my LIFE as I knew it the last 2.5 years. It helps a lot to read you guys' advice because what you all are saying is connecting with me very well on an intellectual level. Getting my emotions to match that is going to take time, unfortunately. I'm glad you enjoyed my story and identified with part of it.
bukowski: You've given me some pretty solid advice so far bro, and I do definitely see what you're saying. It could easily devolve back into where we were before. Although in the spirit of complete honesty, which this thread is 100%, I have to admit there is probably a certain scenario where I would consider trying one last time with her. This is borne out of my respect for the 75% of our relationship which wasn't ****ty, as well as the investment I've already made. But in a big way the damage is already done and I would probably end up doing what sodbuster suggests below (more on that in a second)
c-quenced: Ouch dude. I can sympathize with you on one front, I haven't had sex with my (now) ex in 3 weeks probably. My horniness is already at levels unseen since the Clinton administration.
Sandow: I got a lot out of your posts. I think you're right -- I don't take the majority of the blame for the situation deteriorating, but I do believe I had a hand in it, and I especially believe that I killed it faster than it would have died out naturally on its own. Part of me grudgingly BELIEVES what you are saying... that it is the natural course of a relationship like ours for two people our age. We're not really at the point in our lives where settling down like this is conducive to everything else we're trying to accomplish. But then again, it worked pretty damn well for quite a while, so who knows. I don't particularly think it's a great idea to give it another shot either, but like I said before I have been feeling weak occasionally and I admit I am considering it.
However, I want to note that for some reason, my desire to reunite with "Laura" is strongly based in current feelings of horniness. Some delusional part of me thinks I can have no-strings-attached sex with her a few more times before it's over. It's something that has occupied a lot of my thoughts the last two days. You have to understand, I've never had access to (warning: graphic descriptions ahead) sex with a girl that was A) so hot B) loved nothing more in life (for a while at least) than having me pull out of her and sucking me off to completion, then swallowing C) eager for me to ram her as hard as I could D) being as accomodating (positions, jizz locations, etc) as I wanted. I'm just being real here -- I've had some decent romps in the past with some cute girls but nothing compared to my sex life in this relationship, where I'd literally feel like I was going to bust the biggest nut every single time. It's one thing to say "go fvck someone new" but in all reality, there's no way I'm going to quickly or easily find someone to have such awesome sex with, considering how much I took myself out of the game the last 2.5 years.
sodbuster: once again, you pretty much identified where I'm coming from here. I'm going to give her the speech, in the 10% chance that she does come crawling back, where I explain my terms. If she doesn't like it or starts to put up too much resistance, I'm bailing. I may be confused and horny right now but I'm done letting myself get walked on. If she does sound agreeable with the idea of giving it another real shot, then like you said sodbuster, I'm going to spend a lot more time doing my own thing... both for my own benefit, and to make sure I'm properly positioned if and (likely) when it fizzles out.
The important thing, I think, that I'm taking away from this right now is how her breaking up with me ripped the band-aid off of my terribly dependent ass, and got me to see the error of a lot of my ways. The bottom line is, there's a way to love someone and also love yourself enough to know that you'd be fine in the end with or without them.
. Did you at least have any skepticism regarding the info on the site? 