Waiting for Choosing Signals/IOI's is Stupid

[DEEZEDBRAH]

So instead of waiting for IOIs & waiting for the chick to approach you, skip the whole process & cold approach her so she can only choose you once. Most girls in your vicinity aren't even paying attention to you. She could literally be standing next to you & you're not even on her radar. She's busy talking to her friends, checking her phone, vibing to the music etc. You have to command the attention to the chicks you want to talk to.

It's not masculine to be waiting around for women or anything in general. Waiting = passive = feminine

Men take action & go after what they want

Or if you're a complete pvssy & don't approach at all, just stick to online dating & get whatever you can get there. You see online is safer cuz you're not directly in front of the chick. So you have more time to think about what you want to say & less likely to **** up vs IRL you're talking to a chick at a bar, you have to think on the fly while you're having a conversation.

Just remember the quality will not be as good as women you meet IRL

+1

I always found on my come up, IOIS and approach invitations came naturally. If I seek it, it killed my state and put me into my head as well as spectator mode.

IOIs are coming. I let them. I simply execute the program. I put work in. I shoot my shot (for better or worse).

Modern men are too busy trying to be pretty and not shooting their shot. Instead they walk on egg shells and play it safe. They need validation because they see to frail a mental midget to live on their terms. They're a equivalent to a male "pick me." Absolutely pathetic. There's nothing masculine about passivity.

 

[thelambofdeth]

+1

I always found on my come up, IOIS and approach invitations came naturally. If I seek it, it killed my state and put me into my head as well as spectator mode.

IOIs are coming. I let them. I simply execute the program. I put work in. I shoot my shot (for better or worse).

Modern men are too busy trying to be pretty and not shooting their shot. Instead they walk on egg shells and play it safe. They need validation because they see to frail a mental midget to live on their terms. They're a equivalent to a male "pick me." Absolutely pathetic. There's nothing masculine about passivity.

You're being pretty selective with this outlook and omitting a lot. This isn't the 50s anymore where being social wasn'ta criminal offense. We live in an era where if you don't look a certain way, cold approaches are deemed "weird" or "creepy". Bc of first women feminism women are conditioned to be adverse to cold approaches.(unless you're really hot) Now it's deemed rude and intrusive, so unless you're already a part of her social circle...attempting is pretty moot.

Women are collectively more shallow than they've ever been, and with OLD, SM, simps, beta orbiters, etc most every women has a bloated ego and have unwarranted levels of standards. They have so many easily accessible options just going in blind as some random stranger when you don't look like Harry Styles is virtually potintless. Men aren't just being passive now all of a sudden for chits and giggles, it's bc that's all society is allowing for many men.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Yes, but buyer beware.

Daygame cold approach, even if you’re good, is slow and rejection-addled. Most guys can’t cope with the fact that they do nothing for most women. It completely realigns your brain and guys fall into depression. You have to be a bit of a psycho to do cold approach because it’s innately against male hierarchy and breeding. We naturally hate rejection because it had huge primal significance for us. Most guys still can’t handle it. Even if they train their minds. I’ve come to the opinion that only sociopaths are good at cold approach. You have to be able to seperate your ego and humanity entirely and become a cold blooded predator

100% agree here, the thing that kills a man's ego is that most women he approached will want nothing to do with him no matter how good his style or game is. Online it's much easier to shield your ego but irl the man is incredibly vulnerable.

After my first cold approach, the girl just ignored me and walked off. I went home and was sad about it for a whole week. Cold approach is not suited for most men.

It's very hard but I do think it's the most rewarding.

 

[BadWatermelon]

Yes, but buyer beware.

Daygame cold approach, even if you’re good, is slow and rejection-addled. Most guys can’t cope with the fact that they do nothing for most women. It completely realigns your brain and guys fall into depression. You have to be a bit of a psycho to do cold approach because it’s innately against male hierarchy and breeding. We naturally hate rejection because it had huge primal significance for us. Most guys still can’t handle it. Even if they train their minds. I’ve come to the opinion that only sociopaths are good at cold approach. You have to be able to seperate your ego and humanity entirely and become a cold blooded predator

Most women that are worth approaching are already in a relationship. Cold approaching is just a numbers game.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Most women that are worth approaching are already in a relationship. Cold approaching is just a numbers game.

Every single aspect of dating is a numbers game, the best most friendly women get taken very fast. It's all about being in the right place at the right time.

 

[DeCarlo]

Yes, but buyer beware.

Daygame cold approach, even if you’re good, is slow and rejection-addled. Most guys can’t cope with the fact that they do nothing for most women. It completely realigns your brain and guys fall into depression. You have to be a bit of a psycho to do cold approach because it’s innately against male hierarchy and breeding. We naturally hate rejection because it had huge primal significance for us. Most guys still can’t handle it. Even if they train their minds. I’ve come to the opinion that only sociopaths are good at cold approach. You have to be able to seperate your ego and humanity entirely and become a cold blooded predator

I agree to an extent but:

0) Everything in life that you arent used to realigns your brain. First trip on a plane, first fight, first time having sex, first video game etc etc. And as far as depression goes thats also only at first. My first approach I was just really nervous. But after a while you get used to it. Just like how girls in their truest nature arent wicked to men. But after her culture and rejecting guys they get more used to it. Now its a norm. Women in traditional cultures are afraid to because their brains hasnt been realigned. Just as western men are afraid to fight. The depression is only a thing at first and only if you think emotionally.

How can you be depressed about approaching less than 20 girls when the odds are like 20% top tops shell even be into you. Stack ontop of that current mood, if shes taken, etc etc. Men are only like that when they dont think rational. IMO.

1) I like the ego and humanity being separated part. But.. just dont get how that makes you a sociopath. Are guys that get dressed up, run game with the boys, get a girl drinking so shes "easy" and bring her back any less sociopathic? Or what about the simp in college who changes his entire life, goals, hobbies etc for one girl? Thats pretty crazy too.

Dont get me wrong, not saying you're wrong. Or even being confrontational but Im just saying I think all men are predators when it comes to getting women. Just as women are with men. Willing to use their own kids, the court, mental manipulation, abuse etc etc. "Love is war".

You're being pretty selective with this outlook and omitting a lot. This isn't the 50s anymore where being social wasn'ta criminal offense. We live in an era where if you don't look a certain way, cold approaches are deemed "weird" or "creepy". Bc of first women feminism women are conditioned to be adverse to cold approaches.(unless you're really hot) Now it's deemed rude and intrusive, so unless you're already a part of her social circle...attempting is pretty moot.

Women are collectively more shallow than they've ever been, and with OLD, SM, simps, beta orbiters, etc most every women has a bloated ego and have unwarranted levels of standards. They have so many easily accessible options just going in blind as some random stranger when you don't look like Harry Styles is virtually potintless. Men aren't just being passive now all of a sudden for chits and giggles, it's bc that's all society is allowing for many men.

Yeah yeah. I started daygame in 2018 in Seattle. Super liberal anti trump dyed hair wearing feminists everywhere. Had no issues at all with cold approaches. Just dont be a creep and when you get obvious signs she doesnt want to talk then "Well have a nice day". That damn simple. Now if you area fat slob and you are approaching teens on campus all awkward and **** then yeah you could get into trouble. But even a well dressed fat guy with decent social skills who knows how to take social queues isnt gonna be leaving in handcuffs even in Seattle or Sydney.

I think some of you guys are just scared. And of course, its against our primal to do it. And to be honest Im starting to lose interest in it as well as it just... doesnt warrant the same results even 4 years ago. The whole process is just ****ty even if shes into you. Texting, meeting, game during the meet, closing, retaining... all while dealing with a Gen Z western woman. Ugh.

Only thing keeping me pushing is my ego. Most women are just not fun or interesting at all. Even how they dress (outside Baltics/Eastern Europe) is just so dull.

 

[DeCarlo]

I’d say that women can be equally sociopathic, yeah.

To sleep with and discard lots of people, you have to be a psycho. Most people aren’t able to do that without catching feelz. Also, you have to let a lot of people down who like you, if you’re going to be a player. You have to have a cold heart.

I’m not making any moral judgements here. Just sayin that you need to be able to remove empathy (which is sociopathy) to successfully play this game. You could say it another way - you have to be ruthless to do well in this market.

I agree, but then Sociopathic game has been the standard since at least Bush was in office then.
This forum was a thing because men had to play numbers, and that is because women were as well.
Thats nothing new since the turn of the century at least.

 

[thelambofdeth]

I think some of you guys are just scared.

It's funny, many of the dudes here gaslight more than women smh.

 

[SW15]

Daygame cold approach, even if you’re good, is slow and rejection-addled.

I agree. I can reduce the number of rejections by looking for IOIs and only going to talk to women who provide me with IOIs. Therefore, I don't verbally get rejected. However, if I don't talk to a woman because of her indicators of disinterest, she's rejecting me. For most women, that's the most common form of rejection. Now, many of the women who don't give IOIs and wear earbuds at the gym, a park, or on a walking/hiking path already have boyfriends/husbands and aren't seeking new penis.

You have to be a bit of a psycho to do cold approach because it’s innately against male hierarchy and breeding. We naturally hate rejection because it had huge primal significance for us. Most guys still can’t handle it. Even if they train their minds. I’ve come to the opinion that only sociopaths are good at cold approach. You have to be able to seperate your ego and humanity entirely and become a cold blooded predator

One of the coping mechanisms for cold approach is alcohol. It's why night game at bars/nightclubs has been the more common form of cold approach game for decades.

Most men don't have it in them to approach women in non-bar venues while sober.

Psychopathy might be the most important part of the Dark Triad traits in cold approach. Narcissism and Machiavellianism are also useful. I tend to be more narcissistic and Machievellian, which has helped me cold approach.

Most guys can’t cope with the fact that they do nothing for most women. It completely realigns your brain and guys fall into depression.

True. Well said.

If you get no IOIs you're taking a total shot in the dark, and unless you're really good-looking, there's going to be a lot of misses.

Many years ago, one of my friends ran spam game in the bars. He never did any daygame. He would drink at his apartment prior to going to the bars and then start approaching almost all females in the bar. He was able to get results with spam game because he is 6'4", White, and a former college athlete in a country club sport. He had a look that was perceived as dreamy to college educated, yuppie White women, so he spent his time doing approaches in the bougie bars.

 

[thelambofdeth]

Many years ago, one of my friends ran spam game in the bars. He never did any daygame. He would drink at his apartment prior to going to the bars and then start approaching almost all females in the bar. He was able to get results with spam game because he is 6'4", White, and a former college athlete in a country club sport. He had a look that was perceived as dreamy to college educated, yuppie White women, so he spent his time doing approaches in the bougie bars.

This is exactly what I was thinking. I have no idea why so many on this site want to pretend women are attention starved, blind vessels with no standards and don't have tons of options who just swoon when any rando approaches them. Like, no...you need to be really attractive to have a success ratio with cold approaching. If you're not white, good-looking, tall and in shape is not usually going to go well. I have no idea WHY so few are willing to admit this, and just wants to call everyone a "coward" bc they don't look like Henry Cavil lol

 

[SW15]

you need to be really attractive to have a success ratio with cold approaching. If you're not white, good-looking, tall and in shape is not usually going to go well.

His early game was weak. His openers were not memorable in any way.

He did have abundance mentality because he did have abundance. Abundance came as a result of height and his status as a former NCAA athlete.

He did end up leaving the seduction lifestyle for a long term relationship and later marriage. There was about a 5-7 year period where he put up 80+ notches, and I knew him during the second half of that period.

 

[thelambofdeth]

His early game was weak. His openers was not memorable in any way.

He did have abundance mentality because he did have abundance. Abundance came as a result of height and his status as a former NCAA athlete.

He did end up leaving the seduction lifestyle for a long term relationship and later marriage. There was about a 5-7 year period where he put up 80+ notches, and I knew him during the second half of that period.

Bc women aren't as different as people make them out to be. Women have eyes and standards too, and can often be shallow af. The same way a guy makes it easy for a woman he's attracted to, women are exactly the same.

From your physical description of him, he wouldn't need "game". Women are going to make it easier for him bc they're already going to be attracted to him, physically. All a guy in that instance have to do is not be overly weird or creepy. But that's not a luxury most men have.

That also goes doubly so regarding confidence. It's much easier to have an abundance mentality....when you have an abundance lol. Confidence comes from positive reinforcement, and you don't get that if you're not succeeding.

 

[SW15]

From your physical description of him, he wouldn't need "game". Women are going to make it easier for him bc they're already going to be attracted to him, physically. All a guy in that instance have to do is not be overly weird or creepy. But that's not a luxury most men have.

He did not need much game to seal the deal. The majority of his notches for a while were one night stands from the bar. He did most of his approaches in the 2 hours prior to closing time.

He and I actually had a discussion about IOIs/Choosing Signals around 2012 that I have always felt was very insightful. I started reading about game as an 18-19 year old in 2001-02. I learned about body language and IOIs around that time and tried to do most of my approaches off of that. He said he didn't bother with IOIs because he felt that Millennial women were poor at signaling with body language due to smartphones. The first iPhone had only been released 5 years prior to this 2012 conversation. He really opened up my eyes about Millennial women, which meant a lot to me because I was born near the beginning of the Millennial generation and have mainly dealt with them over the years.

I still believe that IOIs are valuable despite that conversation. I find them more valuable in non-bar venue pickup than out at the bars.

 

[IKO69]

This is exactly what I was thinking. I have no idea why so many on this site want to pretend women are attention starved, blind vessels with no standards and don't have tons of options who just swoon when any rando approaches them. Like, no...you need to be really attractive to have a success ratio with cold approaching. If you're not white, good-looking, tall and in shape is not usually going to go well. I have no idea WHY so few are willing to admit this, and just wants to call everyone a "coward" bc they don't look like Henry Cavil lol

The reason why people don't want to admit it is because then there is not much need for any "techniques" that people try to sell. From what I know they've already come up with the winning formula - looks, money, status. The driving force of course are looks as that is what opens the door initially --- and from there everything else comes into play like whether the person is socially well adjusted, can hold conversation etc. It's straightforward ABC.

A person doesn't have to look like Henry Cavil though. He's a great example and I can certainly understand why women gush over him. I definitely do not look like him and I do okay. I have an average appearance, nothing like H.C>

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

You're being pretty selective with this outlook and omitting a lot. This isn't the 50s anymore where being social wasn'ta criminal offense. We live in an era where if you don't look a certain way, cold approaches are deemed "weird" or "creepy". Bc of first women feminism women are conditioned to be adverse to cold approaches.(unless you're really hot) Now it's deemed rude and intrusive, so unless you're already a part of her social circle...attempting is pretty moot.

Women are collectively more shallow than they've ever been, and with OLD, SM, simps, beta orbiters, etc most every women has a bloated ego and have unwarranted levels of standards. They have so many easily accessible options just going in blind as some random stranger when you don't look like Harry Styles is virtually potintless. Men aren't just being passive now all of a sudden for chits and giggles, it's bc that's all society is allowing for many men.

So walk on ****ing egg shells, watch boomer pods, and make more excuses.

More girls for Me. None of those girlie man excuses matter. Stfu go get girls or kindly **** off.

A lot of modern men need your get their test checked. #cucked!

 

[DeCarlo]

This is exactly what I was thinking. I have no idea why so many on this site want to pretend women are attention starved, blind vessels with no standards and don't have tons of options who just swoon when any rando approaches them. Like, no...you need to be really attractive to have a success ratio with cold approaching. If you're not white, good-looking, tall and in shape is not usually going to go well. I have no idea WHY so few are willing to admit this, and just wants to call everyone a "coward" bc they don't look like Henry Cavil lol

False. Again, I ran game in Seattle. A super liberal feminist city in America as a Black guy that isnt ripped or a male model. In 2018. Although in shape and over 6ft. I did fine. Was I closing every single women I approached? No. Was every woman saying zomg this is amazing? Nope. But did I have success? For sure. And in fact many women told me that men never approach there so 80% of the time it ended with "I appreciate this, it never happens". So no they arent starved but I learned most guys don't do it. Met women that said its been years since shes been approached and some even said never. Especially the young ones. Seattle is a town full of tech nerds with no social skills or a bunch of overeducated wheat waffles(youtube) watching guys who think you gotta look like a Tommy Hilfiger male model with a perfect jawline to approach women.

And to piggyback off of that I knew a super short Ethiopian guy in Seattle who was on The Hill every night spam approaching. Every night he left with a woman because after one girl ignored him hed approach the next women right next to her and not even give a ****. Had a awkward ass head shape too.

Keep making excuses and coping on why you won't approach. Yes its tough, yes you need balls and yes it can be demoralizing. But dont act like its useless or completely pointless because you're insecure and think you gotta be a model to approach. Speak for yourself. Im a average looking Black dude and its even easier than in the States. Even in 'conservative' countries like Poland and Latvia. If youre white and saying this that's kinda crazy dude.

Is it worth it versus online dating? Not sure tbh, and frankly I myself question if its worth it moreso for the games women play nowadays. But not because it isnt affective.

 

[thelambofdeth]

False. Again, I ran game in Seattle. A super liberal feminist city in America as a Black guy that isnt ripped or a male model. In 2018. Although in shape and over 6ft. I did fine. Was I closing every single women I approached? No. Was every woman saying zomg this is amazing? Nope. But did I have success? For sure. And in fact many women told me that men never approach there so 80% of the time it ended with "I appreciate this, it never happens". So no they arent starved but I learned most guys don't do it. Met women that said its been years since shes been approached and some even said never. Especially the young ones. Seattle is a town full of tech nerds with no social skills or a bunch of overeducated wheat waffles(youtube) watching guys who think you gotta look like a Tommy Hilfiger male model with a perfect jawline to approach women.

And to piggyback off of that I knew a super short Ethiopian guy in Seattle who was on The Hill every night spam approaching. Every night he left with a woman because after one girl ignored him hed approach the next women right next to her and not even give a ****. Had a awkward ass head shape too.

Keep making excuses and coping on why you won't approach. Yes its tough, yes you need balls and yes it can be demoralizing. But dont act like its useless or completely pointless because you're insecure and think you gotta be a model to approach. Speak for yourself. Im a average looking Black dude and its even easier than in the States. Even in 'conservative' countries like Poland and Latvia. If youre white and saying this that's kinda crazy dude.

Is it worth it versus online dating? Not sure tbh, and frankly I myself question if its worth it moreso for the games women play nowadays. But not because it isnt affective.

I'm black, 6'3, in shape, I dress well, and all the other stuff that is supposed to matter. But tbh it doesn't. I'd love to live in this alternative universe some seem to live where women never get approached and not in the real world where just being tall and in shape is the bare minimum for most women bc they have a whole slew of prerequisites before you're even humored.

Either those women were lying or they just meant they never get hit on during the day or something. Guys approach at bars and clubs ALL THE TIME. Even if its just some random drunk dude, there's always men that approach at social venues, so when women are say "they don't get approached" and they're not gaslighting, they just men the *right* man up to her standards hasn't approached her lately and she's totally dismissing the men who did. If all it took to impress women was just walking up to them, sites like this wouldn't exist. Maybe in the 60s or something...

Also it doesn't matter how nerdy most men are in a vicinity...there's always going to be SMV and Chads. It's not like you're going to come across some space with a bunch of attractive women and no attractive men. Location is pretty moot in that regard.

Yeah and I know a blind, leper hunchback with Parkinsons who only dates French ballerina supermodels.....

Welp good for you. mate. I'm sure being successful in Europe is great too. Congrats. I can only speak for myself. I keep forgetting so many people live in this alternative reality where nothing makes any sense.

 

[Zimbabwe]

I'm black, 6'3, in shape, I dress well, and all the other stuff that is supposed to matter. But tbh it doesn't. I'd love to live in this alternative universe some seem to live where women never get approached and not in the real world where just being tall and in shape is the bare minimum for most women bc they have a whole slew of prerequisites before you're even humored.

The whole blackpill looks theory is a cope used by socially awkward guys. Most guys really underestimate how important social skills are. If Chad is autistic, his not going to get very many girls (best he can do is get a laid with Tinder Slvts).

Women online constantly say they want a 6 foot tall Male model, but in reality most women are dating average looking guys.

 

[thelambofdeth]

The whole blackpill looks theory is a cope used by socially awkward guys. Most guys really underestimate how important social skills are. If Chad is autistic, his not going to get very many girls (best he can do is get a laid with Tinder Slvts).

Women online constantly say they want a 6 foot tall Male model, but in reality most women are dating average looking guys.

Its really not. Look how extreme of an example you're utilizing. If ANY guy is autistic he's not getting many women. But as a Chad ALL you have to do is NOT be a complete invalid. As an average guy the amout of compensation you have to do to even reach an acceptable bar with even a equally average women is enormous.

Sure bc in most cases Chad won't settle or entertain a relationship and the average guy will. And many wind up cheating or flocking to a Chad once he's available, anyway. Most of those average guys were apart of her social circle and likely had to wait until he got a chance. A chance that was likely given after a Chad just got bored.

 

[Zimbabwe]

But as a Chad ALL you have to do is NOT be a complete invalid. As an average guy the amout of compensation you have to do to even reach an acceptable bar with even a equally average women is enormous.

I never said looks don't matter at all, but if the Chad isn't putting himself in situations where he regularly comes across women, he will be alone. It's extremely rare for a woman to approach any guy.

Sure bc in most cases Chad won't settle or entertain a relationship and the average guy will. And many wind up cheating or flocking to a Chad once he's available, anyway. Most of those average guys were apart of her social circle and likely had to wait until he got a chance. A chance that was likely given after a Chad just got bored.

Chads do best with OLD and Nightclub game, women don't have time to get to know their personalities and everything is based on looks.