Waiting for Choosing Signals/IOI's is Stupid

[Zimbabwe]

So instead of waiting for IOIs & waiting for the chick to approach you, skip the whole process & cold approach her so she can only choose you once. Most girls in your vicinity aren't even paying attention to you. She could literally be standing next to you & you're not even on her radar. She's busy talking to her friends, checking her phone, vibing to the music etc. You have to command the attention to the chicks you want to talk to.

It's not masculine to be waiting around for women or anything in general. Waiting = passive = feminine

Men take action & go after what they want

Or if you're a complete pvssy & don't approach at all, just stick to online dating & get whatever you can get there. You see online is safer cuz you're not directly in front of the chick. So you have more time to think about what you want to say & less likely to **** up vs IRL you're talking to a chick at a bar, you have to think on the fly while you're having a conversation.

Just remember the quality will not be as good as women you meet IRL

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Why are some of y’all on a crusade against OLD. We could be taking about how great the sky looks and there will be an anti OLD bash inserted in the conversation lol.

 

[Murk]

Most girls in your vicinity aren't even paying attention to you. She could literally be standing next to you & you're not even on her radar. She's busy talking to her friends, checking her phone, vibing to the music etc. You have to command the attention to the chicks you want to talk to.

In my experience if a girl likes you she will give you eye contact, move closer to you and dance in front or next to you.

They are hanging with friends but still looking out for attractive confident men.

 

[SW15]

Getting pre-approach IOIs can help an approach go better and more likely to result in a meaningful interaction.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

What are some of the approach IOIs?

 

[Dr.Suave]

Why are some of y’all on a crusade against OLD. We could be taking about how great the sky looks and there will be an anti OLD bash inserted in the conversation lol.

Amen bro. In recent years Ive done better on OLD than cold approaching, doesnt mean Im gonna start bashing cold approaching, If someone does better cold approaching than in OLD then by all means he should stick to cold approaching.

 

[IKO69]

I haven't done a random approach in god knows how long. I was all about that when I first joined this site - I have to credit it with helping me overcome some of my shyness but I never liked doing it and most of the time it resulted in REJECTION. I found this to be a giant waste of time and in some cases ruined my night(s). The times where it did work the woman honestly would've given me the greenlight by signaling anyway, which is what made me re-think things.

Someone asked how you can tell when you are given the green light - just see what she does when you make eye contact with her. After much observation I noticed when I would make eye contact with girls in passing or whatever some would touch their hair / smooth their clothes etc. I call them nervous ticks - reminded me of when I was younger and I would pass by a girl that was good looking or whatever. I would always break eye contact or touch the back of my neck for whatever reason. I wouldn't realize I was doing it either, but it made me realize chicks do the same thing.

After observing this enough I then decided to talk to some of them when I noticed it. After getting largely favorable responses I concluded that it is a sure way to know I was in and to act when I got from a woman I thought was good looking.

Sometimes they smile at you also and that goes without saying

Edit:

When I first joined I really appreciated Player Supreme's classic posts on Eye Contact and Inner game. I think they are some of the best pieces on the site and really helped me.

 

[thelambofdeth]

Women give subtle hints if they're interested. Sure, they won't just approach you in most cases, but they give glances, hover around you, etc. The point is they'll give you the impression they want YOU to approach them, but they're making it easy for you bc they're interested. If you get no IOIs you're taking a total shot in the dark, and unless you're really good-looking, there's going to be a lot of misses.

 

[IKO69]

Women give subtle hints if they're interested. Sure, they won't just approach you in most cases, but they give glances, hover around you, etc. The point is they'll give you the impression they want YOU to approach them, but they're making it easy for you bc they're interested. If you get no IOIs you're taking a total shot in the dark, and unless you're really good-looking, there's going to be a lot of misses.

The only modification I would make to your statement Megadeth and Lamb of God fan is the part where you mentioned unless the guy is good looking --- no, I say if the women gives no IOI's that pretty much indicates the man isn't good looking (to her). I've experienced it personally and seen it in others enough --- when the woman likes the guy and wants him to talk to her, she does stuff to get the ball rolling. They know they have to do this, even if means sending their friends to make it happen.

This might seem like a tough pill to swallow because some guys say "BUT I GET NOTHING". I highly doubt that, most likely just oblivious. Unless the person is freakishly ugly, i mean enough to make milk curdle ugly, this isn't the case and I would wager a very small % of the population would be in this category.

 

[lgbs2004]

I don't like to waste my time with uninterested girls. I only approach if they show me buying signals.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Why are some of y’all on a crusade against OLD. We could be taking about how great the sky looks and there will be an anti OLD bash inserted in the conversation lol.

OLD was amazing.

 

[thelambofdeth]

The only modification I would make to your statement Megadeth and Lamb of God fan is the part where you mentioned unless the guy is good looking --- no, I say if the women gives no IOI's that pretty much indicates the man isn't good looking (to her). I've experienced it personally and seen it in others enough --- when the woman likes the guy and wants him to talk to her, she does stuff to get the ball rolling. They know they have to do this, even if means sending their friends to make it happen.

This might seem like a tough pill to swallow because some guys say "BUT I GET NOTHING". I highly doubt that, most likely just oblivious. Unless the person is freakishly ugly, i mean enough to make milk curdle ugly, this isn't the case and I would wager a very small % of the population would be in this category.

Nah, what I was trying to say is, if you're not looking for (or getting) iois and you're just taking shots in the dark, that if you're not really attractive, then you're fecked. What you're saying is exactly my point. If a woman is keen, she'll make it as easy as possible for you to approach her, if she doesn't flat out instigate it herself. People talk about how "subtle" the signs are, but they're pretty obvious if you aren't braindead.

I can attest to that bc I don't get iois/choosing signals(unless it's just fat and ugly women bc I don't pay attention to them) but I've IOIs/choosing signals given time and time again. If a woman is interested, one way or another, she'll make it known....the only way you don't notice it, is if you choose not to. I don't think guys are as oblivious as some people think, some guys just don't get them. You have to consider women have eyes too and they're going to focus on the good-looking guys, that means men that aren't up to snuff aren't getting any IOIs or it's just from totally undesirable women.

 

[2Rocky]

When you have a broad pool of women to choose from you need to whittle it down to something manageable. Women who return your eye contact and smile are exponentially more likely to give you a chance to isolate and attract them. It also boosts your confidence to talk to them. Don't pull up on a wide open layup, to shoot a 3 point.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I used to be fully committed to IOI or the girl approaching. However, recent experience has led me to downplay IOI’s. They’re still a good thing. But, no IOI’s does not guarantee disinterest.

 

[DeCarlo]

The only modification I would make to your statement Megadeth and Lamb of God fan is the part where you mentioned unless the guy is good looking --- no, I say if the women gives no IOI's that pretty much indicates the man isn't good looking (to her). I've experienced it personally and seen it in others enough --- when the woman likes the guy and wants him to talk to her, she does stuff to get the ball rolling. They know they have to do this, even if means sending their friends to make it happen.

This might seem like a tough pill to swallow because some guys say "BUT I GET NOTHING". I highly doubt that, most likely just oblivious. Unless the person is freakishly ugly, i mean enough to make milk curdle ugly, this isn't the case and I would wager a very small % of the population would be in this category.

I think what you and lamb are saying is both right. You say all guys get IOIs, Lamb says only good looking guys(mostly) do.

I can attest to that. Im in Europe now and can say here I get more eye contact than back in the states for sure. But if you're talking when they make eye contact they touch their hair, smirk, have a 'tick' or gods forbid; smile?

No. That's rarely rarely happened to me. Dont think I ever had a woman smile at me outside nightgame. And touching their hair or something yeah that happens sometimes but its very rare. I think many guys in that in-shape/maybe slightly above average pool have my experience.

Lots of eye contact every now and then but nothing past that. I recorded some daygame approaches in Norway. And honestly I think in 2022+ you might actually do better OLD than approaching.

Especially cold approaching. The X Factor in cold approaching is: Low/"medium" interest women.

Why? They can be *just* interested enough to talk/meet and it just plateus there. Or they suddenly lose interest, or are "busy" etc etc. And juggling all the leads get tiring. I also think if we are talking *attractive* women here its even more less worth it. They have so many options now its almost impossible theyll have high interest for any guy. Even the ones with "game". If you want prime(18-23) double the difficulty. Flakiness, immaturity, ego, Gen Z fism you name it.

Every day I go out I just realize that approaching and daygame isnt even that fun anymore. I feel its gotten tough then even 2018. I honestly think pimping out a tinder profile or even a instagram and strictly OLD may yield you better results. Only thing I can say is you probably wont meet HB8 21 year olds off there but even IRL for us daygamers is tough. Especially if hes in the West and cold approaching the young 20 somethings every guy on campus, tinder and her job wants to bang. Any guy who says otherwise I wanna see sauce.

 

[2Rocky]

If a 6 is standing with a 7 and the 6 smiles at me, I'll go talk to the 6.
If a 6 waves and smiles while I'm talking to an 8 I'll acknowledge her but I won't abandon my 8
if a 9 has multiple guys around her next to a 6 I'll be sure to talk to the 6 and almost ignore the 9.

In a room full of 7's, 8's and 9's I make sure I talk to as many of the people there on the lower 2/3 of that spectrum. I show I am approachable and engaging.
The 9's that are WORTH talking to will give ioi's.
It gives me a chance to get warmed up socially
it gets me positive feedback from interested women
Nothing attracts a woman like being ignored...

But to be clear most of my approaches are indirect. For the first couple minutes.

It must work because a couple times now, I've left a venue and had women come out to the street or parking lot to ask me if I was single. This seems to always happen when I am not.

 

[Machine10033]

It’s all preference in my opinion.

when I was learning this game I did cold approaches. This ultimately built my confidence and made it extremely easy to socialize with females. As time went on and my confidence grew I started noticing when girls were giving me signs... that was almost a time cheat for me... I would go in.. chat them up and try and close the deal.

I think if your in great shape and physically attractive you can rely on signals... if your 5ft2 and chunky you better have the balls to do some cold approaches and have game.

I think a cold approach can be a great way to get the attention of a female that originally had no interest in you. I have a buddy that does this...he’s not attractive or in the best shape but will cold approach and often get the girl interested because he can make them laugh.

 

[thelambofdeth]

If a 6 is standing with a 7 and the 6 smiles at me, I'll go talk to the 6.
If a 6 waves and smiles while I'm talking to an 8 I'll acknowledge her but I won't abandon my 8
if a 9 has multiple guys around her next to a 6 I'll be sure to talk to the 6 and almost ignore the 9.

In a room full of 7's, 8's and 9's I make sure I talk to as many of the people there on the lower 2/3 of that spectrum. I show I am approachable and engaging.
The 9's that are WORTH talking to will give ioi's.
It gives me a chance to get warmed up socially
it gets me positive feedback from interested women
Nothing attracts a woman like being ignored...

But to be clear most of my approaches are indirect. For the first couple minutes.

It must work because a couple times now, I've left a venue and had women come out to the street or parking lot to ask me if I was single. This seems to always happen when I am not.

This is exactly what I mean about some guys just never getting iois while other men do. I've been to bars dozens of times and I have literally never had a random women just smile and wave at me or come up to me and ask if I was taken. Those arent even iois those are just flat out women approaching. This will only happen if you're externally conveying really high smv or you're just really good-looking.

 

[IKO69]

I think what you and lamb are saying is both right. You say all guys get IOIs, Lamb says only good looking guys(mostly) do.

I can attest to that. Im in Europe now and can say here I get more eye contact than back in the states for sure. But if you're talking when they make eye contact they touch their hair, smirk, have a 'tick' or gods forbid; smile?

No. That's rarely rarely happened to me. Dont think I ever had a woman smile at me outside nightgame. And touching their hair or something yeah that happens sometimes but its very rare. I think many guys in that in-shape/maybe slightly above average pool have my experience.

Lots of eye contact every now and then but nothing past that. I recorded some daygame approaches in Norway. And honestly I think in 2022+ you might actually do better OLD than approaching.

Especially cold approaching. The X Factor in cold approaching is: Low/"medium" interest women.

Why? They can be *just* interested enough to talk/meet and it just plateus there. Or they suddenly lose interest, or are "busy" etc etc. And juggling all the leads get tiring. I also think if we are talking *attractive* women here its even more less worth it. They have so many options now its almost impossible theyll have high interest for any guy. Even the ones with "game". If you want prime(18-23) double the difficulty. Flakiness, immaturity, ego, Gen Z fism you name it.

Every day I go out I just realize that approaching and daygame isnt even that fun anymore. I feel its gotten tough then even 2018. I honestly think pimping out a tinder profile or even a instagram and strictly OLD may yield you better results. Only thing I can say is you probably wont meet HB8 21 year olds off there but even IRL for us daygamers is tough. Especially if hes in the West and cold approaching the young 20 somethings every guy on campus, tinder and her job wants to bang. Any guy who says otherwise I wanna see sauce.

Full on smiling is rare. I actually do get it quite a bit but it is mostly from older women; mom's and grandma's. Wjtb younger women (the one's we are after) it doesn't happen as much, maybe only a handful of times in an entire month - it's mostly the other stuff I described- When you make eye contact with them and they are looking directly at you and you are looking directly at them, they reach and touch the side of their head or throw their hair off their shoulders. I've also seen where some women tug at the bottom of their shirt, like they are smoothing it out. I'm sure other people will comment on this.

I was aware of this stuff long before I even knew about it, used to wonder why they would do "x" - I believe you know it subconsciously even though you might not be able to put your finger on it until someone explicitly points it out.

Another thing they do is if they frankly open you about anything. An example: Two days I got stopped by a younger girl (early 20s) on an electric scooter - she asked if I spoke Spanish. I said no but I could understand it somewhat and asked if she needed help. She took her phone out and typed in some stuff in spanish - she asked if I knew where the train station was. It was literally around the corner, no more than a minutes walk (in my head I was like are you kidding). I told her I'd show her and I walked with her since I was going in that direction. There's a chance she did want directions but I'm pretty sure she was ****ing around given the proximity and the fact she had a cell phone, pretty sure she had gps.

My looks aren't exceptional so I'm pretty sure most guys simply just aren't aware or talk themselves out of things. I would do that a lot early on and I missed out on many opportunities because of low confidence.

 

[IKO69]

Back in the day these posts by Player_Supreme really helped me

Inner Game

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Catching women really is no big deal fella's. I am beginning to think you guys just like to whine about shyt just to have some one to complain to. Here is my simple system: 1. Dress to impress: http://sac.napkinnights.com/pics/view_image.php?id=1416&ind=26 2. DO NOT CHASE AFTER A...

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eye contact game

Seduction is a game and it has it's rules. The woman must choose you before the game can begin. ONce she chooses, then eye contact begins. Eye contact is an acknowledgement of the proccess of seductions is allowed to begin. It show's ownership. You own her! This is why I always say...

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There was an awesome one called Stacking Evidence but I think it has been purged from the site

I was also friends with a natural, he wasn't a member of this site or knew anything about the online seduction community but knew everything intuitively. He worked as a bartender so had many opportunities to sharpen his skills. Many times he'd be like "Hey MIke that girl over there is checking me out" and I'd say really how do you know that, then he'd go over after some time and get her number. He'd also point out when I was getting it and for the longest time I was obviously I oblivious and didn't see what he saw but he was right.