what would you do if your waiter was flirting hard with your date right in front of you? a fool could spot it. he was good looking, better looking then me, even managed to make a few comments to me that showed his value was higher then mine. i don't remember word for word, but they were just little shots at me that didn't help me any in front of my date. honestly, i wasn't mad, but i kept thinking "this guy doesn't know me, what is it about me that i'm giving off that makes him KNOW he can say this stuff to me and flirt with my date and i won't stand up and lay him out?". can you acctually give off a vibe to people that don't know you that says "hey i'm a nice guy"? i honestly didnt know what to do. the guy was better looking then me, his game was better, my date seemed to enjoy it even! when he was flirting with a table of cougars, i would catch her glancing over his way with this look of jealousy. it was weird. he even went as far as to write her name in her sauce for her.lol i mean really, come on! at the end of the night, he brought the check. i honestly thought i should split it up in two and make her pay for hers, but i didnt want to seem like his flirting with her and everything had effected me, even though i think she could already tell. now, time for the tip. haha! tip my @$$. this might not have been DJ or mature, but i'm not about to give some dude money for flirting with my date all night and insulting me. so i left $0.01. she did bring up us going out for drinks afterwards, but i declined and instead decided to go meet up with some friends downtown. i hope she doesn't expect us to go out again anytime soon, and i doubt i'll ever take another date to that place again.lol getting your @$$ kicked doesn't feel so good.
waiter flirts hard with my date
- Thread starter Robert28
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Aazman
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hmmm, well if it was me- I don't know about you. But i'm good at making awkward situations, so I would have got up and kissed him on the cheek, something like that. Followed by, can I have your number please? (note: Really loud)
Basically Humiliate the fooker.
It makes the girl laugh and i would have done that when he had said he was better looking than you. Make him think your hitting on him.
Basically the trick is not to get angry and not to show your possessive. You want to show her that you will lead her but not possess her. You can live without her.
Plus it shows your a fun guy, who can take a laugh/ comfortable with sexuality.
This kind of approach also shows your unpredictable and makes them find it harder to figure you.
Basically Humiliate the fooker.
It makes the girl laugh and i would have done that when he had said he was better looking than you. Make him think your hitting on him.
Basically the trick is not to get angry and not to show your possessive. You want to show her that you will lead her but not possess her. You can live without her.
Plus it shows your a fun guy, who can take a laugh/ comfortable with sexuality.
This kind of approach also shows your unpredictable and makes them find it harder to figure you.
I agree with Aazman.
He challenged you to see who was the alpha male between the 2 of you and he won. These situations are actually great oppertunities for showing what sort of DJ you are. You could have easily turned the tables on him by making him run around getting things for you. Make it obvious and see how he'd react.
You should also use it as an oppertunity to learn from him.
He challenged you to see who was the alpha male between the 2 of you and he won. These situations are actually great oppertunities for showing what sort of DJ you are. You could have easily turned the tables on him by making him run around getting things for you. Make it obvious and see how he'd react.
You should also use it as an oppertunity to learn from him.
What's interesting is that guys who blatantly disrespect other guys, are actually weak inside and will crumble easily *if* you challenge them.
Now, the key is to challenge him through your tone of voice and eye-contact, not through your words. For example, if he was flirting with your date egregiously, tell him:
'Excuse me, you are the waiter, you are here to serve us.'
But do it with heavy eye-contact and a firmness of voice.
If he tries to ignore you, tell him straight up: 'I want to talk to you over there, now.'
Trust me on this, the difficult part is having the balls to challenge him, but once you do so, he will crumble.
He is not a true Alpha Male.
An Alpha Male respects himself, thus he will not disrespect other people unless there is a valid cause.
Now, the key is to challenge him through your tone of voice and eye-contact, not through your words. For example, if he was flirting with your date egregiously, tell him:
'Excuse me, you are the waiter, you are here to serve us.'
But do it with heavy eye-contact and a firmness of voice.
If he tries to ignore you, tell him straight up: 'I want to talk to you over there, now.'
Trust me on this, the difficult part is having the balls to challenge him, but once you do so, he will crumble.
He is not a true Alpha Male.
An Alpha Male respects himself, thus he will not disrespect other people unless there is a valid cause.
Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
TheManOfSteel
Don Juan
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What you should do is get in the gym, and workout. Nobody would dare do this to you if your biceps were bulging out of your shirt. What would I do? If something like this happened to me I would be hearing the AC/DC song "I'll Be Damned" going off in the background as I put this guy in his place.
It may not be a 'vibe' that you're giving off, perhaps some mannerisms, or weak body language (slouching). Without knowing what he said directly to you in terms of the shots he was taking it's hard to tell. I'm guessing he progressively got more brazen. He probably started off w/ something small, and when he saw that he could get away with it he turned it up a notch.
Who cares if he is better looking than you? HE IS A WAITER. Nothing says provider, and leader of men like somebody who takes orders and serves food. Demonstrate your higher value by telling him to get you and your date some onion rings while you wait (this is of course assuming you're not an unemployed sloth ).
I agree w/ Trader, that the second you tell this guy you're having none of it he would have completely stopped. You don't have to do it in an "I'm going to punch you in the face" manner, just put it firmly and let him know you're not that guy to steal on.
It may not be a 'vibe' that you're giving off, perhaps some mannerisms, or weak body language (slouching). Without knowing what he said directly to you in terms of the shots he was taking it's hard to tell. I'm guessing he progressively got more brazen. He probably started off w/ something small, and when he saw that he could get away with it he turned it up a notch.
Who cares if he is better looking than you? HE IS A WAITER. Nothing says provider, and leader of men like somebody who takes orders and serves food. Demonstrate your higher value by telling him to get you and your date some onion rings while you wait (this is of course assuming you're not an unemployed sloth
). I agree w/ Trader, that the second you tell this guy you're having none of it he would have completely stopped. You don't have to do it in an "I'm going to punch you in the face" manner, just put it firmly and let him know you're not that guy to steal on.
^ What trader said. You had a real potential for some dinner entertainment for you and your date with this one.
When in situations like this, I get the urge to call guys cute names like sweetie and hon. It really pisses them off, and shows who's boss.
When in situations like this, I get the urge to call guys cute names like sweetie and hon. It really pisses them off, and shows who's boss.
Joe Stud
Master Don Juan
Yes the above guys have good points. Practice a "take charge" personna. Look at alpha-macho type men and poise yourself the same.
When the check came, you should have said aloud: "well waiter, are you going to split this tab with me"? and when he asks what do you mean? say: Well you flirted with my date during dinner, so you should pay your share of the bill! Then all of you laugh. Walk out like you own the place.
Of course if you go to the gym, and develope a "scrappy look"... the guys tend to keep out of your way. Simple law of the jungle.
When the check came, you should have said aloud: "well waiter, are you going to split this tab with me"? and when he asks what do you mean? say: Well you flirted with my date during dinner, so you should pay your share of the bill! Then all of you laugh. Walk out like you own the place.
Of course if you go to the gym, and develope a "scrappy look"... the guys tend to keep out of your way. Simple law of the jungle.
First; she is right now fuvking him.
Second; I would be professional first. Meaning, I would get his manager or supervisor and tell him what just happened. Tell him you are not comfortable with this guy and that he is going to have a waiter with his throat cut if he doesn't change him. I would tell my date that although she finds his charm and flirtyness a blast, I don't. If she has a problem with it, she should get his number now and to take a cab home. I would put ten dollars on the table for her cab ride home and delete her number. I would personally be upset with this disrespect, I don't come from American culture. I believe there are two things that no man should fuvk with, first, my mother or family members. Second, the woman I am with. I will fuvk them up. IF that shows weakness, so be it. I will not be disrespected. I would **** him up right there, even if it means losing the girl. That's the vibe you should have. Then, no waiter will ever do this to you. Stop smiling. Stop being a walk over. When he comes over and he's a good looking guy, remember, he is there to SERVE YOU. He is immediately below you. His insecurity is his profession. Your strength is that he works for you. If he crosses the line, the roles are reversed. Then, we have a problem.
Second; I would be professional first. Meaning, I would get his manager or supervisor and tell him what just happened. Tell him you are not comfortable with this guy and that he is going to have a waiter with his throat cut if he doesn't change him. I would tell my date that although she finds his charm and flirtyness a blast, I don't. If she has a problem with it, she should get his number now and to take a cab home. I would put ten dollars on the table for her cab ride home and delete her number. I would personally be upset with this disrespect, I don't come from American culture. I believe there are two things that no man should fuvk with, first, my mother or family members. Second, the woman I am with. I will fuvk them up. IF that shows weakness, so be it. I will not be disrespected. I would **** him up right there, even if it means losing the girl. That's the vibe you should have. Then, no waiter will ever do this to you. Stop smiling. Stop being a walk over. When he comes over and he's a good looking guy, remember, he is there to SERVE YOU. He is immediately below you. His insecurity is his profession. Your strength is that he works for you. If he crosses the line, the roles are reversed. Then, we have a problem.
well i'm no small guy by any means. i was a cornerback in college and i'm 5'9 185 with a 33 inch waist. i don't know how much i can bench but i can bench 225 nine times with no help(used to be alot more but since i quit playing football i havent worked out as much). you can look at me and tell i workout, but i'm not going to be on the cover of a magazine or anything. he wasn't obvious flirting, but i've been at this way too long to not know when a guys hitting on your date, g/f, wife, whatever she is to you. he did it in a way that if i said anything, jokingly or not, i would have looked like the insecure idiot. i felt like an idiot nonetheless, but i guess you just had to be there. i thought about making a funny comment about it to the girl when he wasnt around but i didnt want to seem insecure. what i dont understand is i dont look like a geek, or a guy that would be easy to do that to. something about me made him have the nuts to do what he did and thats what i want to figure out and work on. i gave out a weakness unkowingly. like i said, i must have LOOKED like a nice guy or something. i didnt tip the b@stard, and if she would have said anything about it i would have told her to leave the tip if she felt that way. if i ever do go in there again, i hope he remembers that $0.01 tip:crackup:
It's not him. It's you. You have to be the guy that no one wants to fuvk with. Men have to know that you will go anytime. That you will fight back if disrespected. Women have to know that you will fuvk their brains out anytime, and anywhere. Being a bad boy is not starting fights or trouble. It means you are selfish, respect yourself, and will not be fuvked with. This WILL happen again if you don't change your attitude and body language.
Falcon25 said:
how? any tips? how do i walk in a room and have every guy and every girl think "there's a man...a REAL bad@$$"
one of the baddest guys i've ever known went to HS with me. he was the nicest guy you ever wanted to meet, wasnt all that great with women because if you met him youd automatically think "super nice guy, almost too nice". in 4 years he never even cussed! the guy would be friends with a tree if the tree asked him to be. you know what though? he was also a gold glove boxer and would lay your lights out with one punch. it would take a LOT to get him to fight, but i wouldn't ever want to fight him thats for sure. he didnt even LOOK like a bad@$$ or could fight, but trust me, don't be fooled.
bukowski_merit
Master Don Juan
It's pretty simple. When a guy is doing stuff like this - you TELL him what to do as a king would. And if you tell him to do something and he's still standing around flirting with your date - you command him with "Dismissed!" and then gesture him away.
Or you can flirt with him as if he's a woman. Tell him he has a pretty mouth, etc...
Or talk louder than him, cut him off when he's speaking....
Tell him he's being "cute".... Example: "That was real cute man. Smooth. Now im thinking of having a drink. What would you suggest?" - - - Waiter: "Well im a white wine kind of Guy, we have a real good house white here". - - - You: "Cool. Get me a Corona. Do you guys have limes?" - - - Waiter: "Yes, want me to ge...." - - - You: "No i don't want a lime..... Dismissed" (you have to be doing all this like the guy is dirt.... your attitude cannot be like you give a sh!t about him; or that you are jealous of him; or that you are worried about him. It has to be in an obnoxiously ****y way that you are a million times above him).
Treat him like sh!t basically....
There's this bartender that is frequently at this bar i take women to. The first few times - he would flirt with the girls i was with. Possibly to try to get bigger tips. Possibly because he liked them. Possibly because he was bored.... Didn't matter - i fvcked with him so much - he wanted to fight me. But i had gained his respect and he took his place under me on the chain of command..... now i bring women there - and he knows his role.... which is to stay on the other side of the bar like a good little b!tch and let one of the other bartenders wait on me =)
Or you can flirt with him as if he's a woman. Tell him he has a pretty mouth, etc...
Or talk louder than him, cut him off when he's speaking....
Tell him he's being "cute".... Example: "That was real cute man. Smooth. Now im thinking of having a drink. What would you suggest?" - - - Waiter: "Well im a white wine kind of Guy, we have a real good house white here". - - - You: "Cool. Get me a Corona. Do you guys have limes?" - - - Waiter: "Yes, want me to ge...." - - - You: "No i don't want a lime..... Dismissed" (you have to be doing all this like the guy is dirt.... your attitude cannot be like you give a sh!t about him; or that you are jealous of him; or that you are worried about him. It has to be in an obnoxiously ****y way that you are a million times above him).
Treat him like sh!t basically....
There's this bartender that is frequently at this bar i take women to. The first few times - he would flirt with the girls i was with. Possibly to try to get bigger tips. Possibly because he liked them. Possibly because he was bored.... Didn't matter - i fvcked with him so much - he wanted to fight me. But i had gained his respect and he took his place under me on the chain of command..... now i bring women there - and he knows his role.... which is to stay on the other side of the bar like a good little b!tch and let one of the other bartenders wait on me =)
God, what next? Someone complaining about cabdrivers flirting with their girl, while they're on their way to a restaurant or something? LOL, I just cant even fathom how someone who is there to SERVE you is capable of being more alpha than you.
Well I'm here to tell you there is such a magic wand. Something that will make you almost completely irresistible to any woman you "point it" at. Something guaranteed to fill your life with love, romance, and excitement.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
bukowski_merit said:
can you give specific examples of things he said/did and things you said/did to achieve that result? did you lose any girls to him before putting him in his place? what put you over the edge to standup to him?
Hey Robert, I'm really really interested to know the kind of comments/digs the waiter took at your expense. You dont have to quote him verbatim, just paraphrase it the best you can...I really wanna know what this waiter's thought process was like, and I'm trying to figure out the most appropriate retort to such a scenario. ThanksRobert28 said:
Wow that guy is a b!tch. Saying he's better looking than you and all that, I can see how you'd get threatened by that, but to my that immediately shows some insecurity in himself and that he'd be easy to knock down. A real DJ would show you some respect.
Him flirting w/ your hot date here and there....I guess I would take that as a compliment knowing that she's good looking, right, but if he's blatantly dissing you then HE NEEDS TO GO DOWN
jp lol. I agree with Trader and Aazman's posts a lot.
I'm kinda like you too OP, I think I give off these vibes of "that guy's too nice, he doesn't have a backbone at all" or whatever, but once people get to know me I show them who I really am. Like others have said take this as opportunity to work on yourself and maybe be more fun next time, try teasing the guy or outright hit on him or something, haha....that's how I try to diffuse situations--with humor.
From your post you seem like you were are are pretty tense, you were probably like that at the restaraunt ever though you say you were acting cool
Him flirting w/ your hot date here and there....I guess I would take that as a compliment knowing that she's good looking, right, but if he's blatantly dissing you then HE NEEDS TO GO DOWN
jp lol. I agree with Trader and Aazman's posts a lot.
I'm kinda like you too OP, I think I give off these vibes of "that guy's too nice, he doesn't have a backbone at all" or whatever, but once people get to know me I show them who I really am. Like others have said take this as opportunity to work on yourself and maybe be more fun next time, try teasing the guy or outright hit on him or something, haha....that's how I try to diffuse situations--with humor.
From your post you seem like you were are are pretty tense, you were probably like that at the restaraunt ever though you say you were acting cool
Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.