URGENT! Another DJ is stealing my woman..how do I fight back???

[Jet Jockey]

To ookevin: things have moved about 5 chapters up in this saga! Have you read all the posts I have posted? The one you just quoted, stinks I agree... I went thru a few fvcked up thoughts in this ordeal..but as you can see I pulled out nicely! She has been nexted, I ALREADY have another hottie on the hook.

Now she is calling and crying on my answer machine, WTF. She is the one that is fvcking around, and i think she trys to be little ms innocent..but is far from that!

If she fvcked him ( and she probably has) than she is a liar too! Cuz i asked her point blank if she did... and she said of course not!

She is not worth fighting for!

I'm gonna mail her her stuff. Next time she calls, I am gonna let her know not to call here again. I'll also tell her She broke the trust, and i can never trust her again, thus never again is the answer...

Yeah I cared about her alot. I'll admit it hurts... but... live and learn!

 

[Jet Jockey]

Prosemont:

You are absolutely right. No woman does all that driving without fvcking the guy she is going to go see. Her calling and crying, is another example of her spoiled bytch ways. She wasn't ready to end it with me ...just yet. I ruined her plans. She was keeping me for backup in case this guy, faded into the sunset on her.

As for getting her to leave me be with other chicks, I think I'll take your advice. If she still calls, I'll block her #. If she shows up, I'll tell her to leave immediatley. If she throws herself on the ground, wailing, begging....OMG. She's good real good! Good at the drama stuff. I expect something like that from her. I just won't let it phase me. Maybe I should even laugh!!

Just another example of a woman who thinks she can play both ends against the middle, and when she gets busted, "is so very sorry". I'm showing her about as much mercy as she would show me if things were reversed..and she would be a cold hearted bytch!!!

 

[echo1212]

Just out of curiousity jet, do you have a pic of either you or the beeoootch? Be interesting to put a face behind the drama lol.

 

[prosemont]

One last (redundant, but emphasis required) thought:

At MOST you have only ONE more time to talk to her and to tell her what I told you to in the prior post.

DO NOT ALLOW her to bring you into some type of drama with this. The way to avoid that is to PREVENT contact. After that last phone call, NO, I mean NO contact. No phone calls every 5 minutes, or 50 minutes or 5 hours.

Do not even listen to voicemail, delete those suckers as soon as you hear it's her without even listening.

NO MORE CONTACT! If you let her "explain," if you give her a chance to make it up to you, you are wrong. If you allow her to finnagle back in, you are wrong. She'll do anything, she'll lie and squirm and beg and plead at this point because she's losing her safety net. But, she's already shown her true colors. She really has already done the damage. She's done.

Do not allow her to suck you into this whole drama. Things are already clear as day.

Keep us informed.

 

[Big Pappy]

age vs. experience

First, let me say this. Pook said it first, and probably better than I will here.

Being a DJ is not about reading some "tactic" or technique and trying it out on hot women. It's about thinking about the way things are, recognizing your weaknesses and trying to overcome them in all areas of life.

So, you've made a mistake. You over-reacted to the jealousy card. Now, instead of honing a trick or tactic, ask yourself why you don't trust this woman. If you don't, you dump her. You don't LJBF her, because you don''t trust her.

Again, the question is why! Is she just not trustworthy because she wants to find out what an old friend is up to and rekindle that friendship? We can't answer that. Can you?

So, damage control. What can you do now? Well, we can see that this woman is important to you. But, she's not property. Some of us, if we knew her and you better might be able to advise.

Personally, you don't "next" her until you are done with her. Not when she is done with you. That's for the AFC.

You don't see your options? Create them. In the business world, we lose clients to other professionals from time to time.
1. Give in. Reverse Psychology. Tell her you want to watch.
2. Ultimatum - If she does what she clearly wants to do, you dump her. (Likely, she will be upset about this, tears, crying and other manipulative crap.) The other DJ will not likely get any tail that weekend, as she will be feeling like a total slut.
I don't recommend this, because you come off as weak and shortsighted. Not to mention, there's no way to predict how she'll respond.
3. let the chips fall where they may. What was your selection criteria when you entered this relationship with this woman? Is she that much of a flake that she responds to a few manly gestures and throws off her time investment in you? How old is she? (This could be a big factor!!) Trust yourself! You are the goods! The lessons "synthesized" into your life from this forum are just a part of what will attract a woman. The rest has to come from your personality. At your age, you've got excellent story telling abilities, great confidence and a nice home. A crappy job, apparently, but all other things considered, you get to take advantage of happy hours more than the rest of us.

My father told me that when I was in doubt, I should do nothing. Wait until you have more data. Then make a more educated decision.

Obviously, none of these options can help you because we just don't know enough. I'd suggest you identify the problem. Is it within you or her?

Best of luck. Now get off your a** and improve who you are!

 

[Jet Jockey]

Yes, I think you are right on!

If I allow her to suck me into any of her drama BS, it will muddy the water and scare away any other "fish"!

BTW..I was outside for awhile, I came in and lo and behold another message! It was her, calling to say, ok, ok.. I won't let him come over this weekend! I love you!

Nice try bytch! If she "loved" me it would have never been a issue!!!!

I can see she is terrified..her safety net is gone, her kaniving backfired on her.

Game over.

 

[NewMan]

You know, everything thats happened here has happened very quickly - or so it has seemed.

I'm wondering why you waited this long to do something about this chick? After all didn't she go drive to see this guy on 2 consecitive weekends?

It's a tough call - but from what I've read you don't trust this chick - and she seems like a real piece of work. Going to see the guy and then inviting him to stay the weekend.....

I can't but wonder why you didn't pick up on this woman earlier - for there must have been signs - there must have been things that she has done to make you wonder about her... This can't be the only situation where another guy has come into the picture.

At any rate, Nexting her was the best thing to do. IMO.

She's going to call, cry, tell her she wants to be back with you, tell her she will not have the guy come - pretty much do anything for you to take her back. You can't listen to her and don't take her calls. You've got to cut her right off.......

Don't meet for lunch or to give her stuff back to her. It's done over.....

And you for sure do not want her to show up if your having another chick over.

 

[Jet Jockey]

Yeah New man, it just came to a head this week.

When she wanted to go visit a friend..I didn't know ALL the details at first. I was working, and to top it off I work 12 hour night shifts..which means next day is shot to, for sleep. So some of this has been on my "to deal with later list". I also did not want to jump her azz in the beginning before I knew any details, cuz it would be very easy to come off as half-c0cked and insecure. So that is why I waited a bit.

When she told me she was having him and his roomate come spend the weekend while i worked. That set off loud sirens and redflags with me. I even got sarcastic with her..she has a bedroom and a couch. I said so what will the sleeping arrangements be? Buffet style or tag team style LMAO. She wasn't amused! But it let her know I was onto her and not going to say sure honey, not a problem!, you can leave door locked....but still they wail and rave on. That can be heard in the house, and any chick that is here with me is gonna say WTF!!!!!
Of course she defended her "innocence" and said I am not like that! but we all know on here what the true story is most likely don't we?

As far as her beggiing, etc, She will be home at 6pm. She will call I know her. It will be our last conversation. I am ready. I'm gonna, let her know that the breach of trust hurts me too... and let her know that she had it made with me... and just as she starts in with, the begging, I will let her know that she needs to leave me the hell alone. Yes she probaly won't. She'll have her friends call on her behalf, she'll email me or send leters, she'll call and leave messages. She will no doubt show up, unannounced. That sucks cuz I need my crib if I wanna get any action! Just be getting somewhere with a chick,and here comes a knock on the door and wailing like a dog howling at the moon. LOL.

So I am afraid I will have to make it crystal clear to her...leave me alone. Go mind fvck someone else! I just doubt she will listen. I can not answer the phone and i can delete messages and burn letters, but when they show up on your door step wailing you can keep door locked, but any chick thats there with you is gonna say WTF!!!!!

OH MAN!!!

 

[Jet Jockey]

Well, well well. Guess what the bytch did now?

She had Mr Romeo "he's only a friend" call and leave a message in my machine.

Message, says: " look dik head you have her crying all over the place." I suggest you apologize to her, cuz if you don't say your sorry, and make it better, Me and my boys know where you live, she gave us a map, and we will be out to beat 7 kinds of dawg shyt out of you!"

PLEEEEEEEEZE! ARRRRGH!

So i am sure she is on a sympathy rant now! She's got One of her superhero friends gonna come out, and kick my azz.

I never thought of this possibility...but predictable. She is a woman! (attention ***** is more like it)

He needs him and his boys, not just him...i thought that was intersting!

Let the games begin!!!!!!!!! LMAO!

 

[prosemont]

I Love It When I'm Right.

This chick is a piece of shyt.

This only proves that you made the right move. Rock solid proof. I'm amazed actually. She's a total drama queen attention slvt. She made her bed and now she's going to have to fvcking sleep in it. Literally. ha ha.

On the other hand, YOU are one powerful motherfvcker. You MUST feel that; try and tell me you don't.

And, you have gained that power through the calculated, methodical, and cold ass motherfvcking way you've handled this. ahahaha. Great stuff. You must feel invincible because, well, you are.

Continue the radio silence, btw, in case you had any doubts. This guy comes to your house, don't even belittle yourself by getting involved. Simply call the cops and/or the town dump to remove the trash off your front step.

Keep us posted.

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by Jet Jockey
Well, well well. Guess what the bytch did now?

She had Mr Romeo "he's only a friend" call and leave a message in my machine.

Message, says: " look dik head you have her crying all over the place." I suggest you apologize to her, cuz if you don't say your sorry, and make it better, Me and my boys know where you live, she gave us a map, and we will be out to beat 7 kinds of dawg shyt out of you!"

I guess ppl arent really growing up much these days

how old is this dude...?

if he happens to call you tell him "you wanted her and i gave her to you, now your tryin to force me to take her back, what happened?"

but seriously kudos to you for gettin the upper hand and so fast at that

also stay away, but im sure u know that by now

 

[Big Pappy]

wow!

Well, I think we can see that your game is fine...
You need to work on selection criteria!

Think about the work that you have done to make yourself a better man, ergo more desireable to women. Why would you want to spend time with someone who is emotionally bankrupt?

She is probably only crying to see if she can yank this other guys chain, since she can't yank yours. It will suck for awhile, because you'd have to be bipolar or or something to not feel a sense of loss.

Just suck it up, and consider meeting girls in a better place than where you met the last one.

As for this bozo calling you, save the tape just in case. My experience tells me that men know who the "alpha male" is. If you're a DJ, they will sense that manliness and leave you be. Twenty years ago, men weren't really used to women pulling the wool over their eyes. Now, I think we all know a manipulating wench when we see one in action. This other guy is clearly not a DJ. A DJ would never waste time with calling you or threating you. (At least I wouldn't. What would that do for me?)


Best of luck

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by drixsa
if he happens to call you tell him "you wanted her and i gave her to you, now your tryin to force me to take her back, what happened?"

hahahaha, yeassir, tell him "no take backs", hahahaha.

seriously though, that is some craaaazy sh!t jet. don't sink to that level. (don't respond to the thug captainsavabiotch)

 

[Jet Jockey]

This dude is 43 fvcking immature years old.

He is not as solid as I thought, you guys are right... He's only half baked.

He is good at approaches, he is good at theft, he may have used a few pyschological tricks on her..all good and fine, but he got what he thought he wanted...

.......and i got rid of what I thought I wanted.

Nice how that worked out.

I forgot to tell him I own a half timber wolf, half Akita, that I keep penned up..He HATES strangers! Especially threatening ugly bald fatazz strangers......I think my doggie needs to get out for awhile!
I honestly have no clue what the guy even looks like! As long as he is trespassing..he is fair game out here if my wolf does happen to attack! I don't wish that on anyone, but if its him or me...well. he shouldn't be out here in the first damn place .

But seriously, i will call the cops....nothing will be proved by altercations. I am not too afraid of these clowns, I live out in the country miles from any town...You are allowed to defend yourself out here (the rules are a bit more lax) because law enforcement takes 20 min or more to show up. I'll keep the door locked, the Wolf out so he can stretch..and my sense of humor about this whole ordeal up! If he breaks in, thats intrusion of my home, and I checked with the Sheriff, you are allowed to use what ever means are needed to defend ones self.

I AM SO GLAD SHE IS HIS PROBLEM NOW!!

Sidenote: I bet he ain't getting laid either now....TEE HEE!

This has helped me a great deal. I got to comfortable with her...I was lettin the DJ in me slip quietly away, and never noticing it. AFC was creeping in, as you can tell from my very first post. Then something pretty Kool happened. I woke up and smelled the burnt toast! Thanks in part to you guys here! After some kicks in the azz from this board....I knew what to do all along....Just needed a little motivation!

Next chick has to meet certain criteria i have set . If she don't, she is nothing. I'm alot more focused now. I know what I want, unlike 99% of the poor b@stards out there! Hell, since this has happened i have already "nexted" two potentials, One for telling a lie ( she is still quasi involved with a guy, and told me she was not) and one for making various excuses as too why she cannot go out. The first time, I let her slide, but the second time, she got nexted. I see now thats how you have to be. Its not really "ruthless" like some people wanna make it out to be...its REALITY. most women out there will act sweet and innocent, while they are NOT sweet and innocent...I'm sure many of you can relate!

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by Jet Jockey
To ookevin: things have moved about 5 chapters up in this saga! Have you read all the posts I have posted? The one you just quoted, stinks I agree... I went thru a few fvcked up thoughts in this ordeal..but as you can see I pulled out nicely! She has been nexted, I ALREADY have another hottie on the hook.

Now she is calling and crying on my answer machine, WTF. She is the one that is fvcking around, and i think she trys to be little ms innocent..but is far from that!

If she fvcked him ( and she probably has) than she is a liar too! Cuz i asked her point blank if she did... and she said of course not!

She is not worth fighting for!

I'm gonna mail her her stuff. Next time she calls, I am gonna let her know not to call here again. I'll also tell her She broke the trust, and i can never trust her again, thus never again is the answer...

Yeah I cared about her alot. I'll admit it hurts... but... live and learn!

well.. don't ashamed of the f**ked up thoughts you are going through. all that matters is that you work through them. people on this board don't seem to understand that. You seem to be doing rather well through your actions though. Just remember that a man can always forgive a woman. Just don't EVER do it unless she totally proves herself to you and you are satisfied with her appology. if she can't recognize what she did wrong she isn't worth your time. command the respect that you deserve. Don't let her make you feel guilty about anything.

the next time she calls make sure you look down at her from your high horse and demand an appology.

 

[dionysius_d]

oh so much discussion for a simple thing..

i didn't have to read past the part about her having the hots for this guy before but they couldn't do it..


when a desire has had 9 years to smolder don't even try to stop it or difuse it.. suppressed stuff is way to strong.

there's nothing you'll be able to do except 1) leave her or 2) wait out until she gets bored of it and the desire runs its course.. IF they don't end up going thru with it.

back luck.. picked a rotten apple.

 

[NewMan]

She will call I know her. It will be our last conversation. I am ready. I'm gonna, let her know that the breach of trust hurts me too... and let her know that she had it made with me...

That not what you should say - it's irrelevant. You'd only say these things IF you were trying to talk her into comming back - or coming from a weak position.

What she's lost is not for you to point out - she knows, thats why she's begging.

Say nothing - that's the sweetest revenge.

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by NewMan

Say nothing - that's the sweetest revenge.

sounds like someone who isnt talkin from experience

 

[Jet Jockey]

Yeah this is some crazy fvucked up shyt I'll agree with anyone on that!

Heres the latest. LOL.

I was out cutting firewood until dark last night. I get home and there was another message. It was her this time.

" I just wanted to call to say, I'll be out of town this weekend, so if you try to call (like I'd try to call..pleeeze!) just wanted you to know I'm ok, I'll be at so and so's house (the friends house that started this) and I will be thinking of you! I miss you!

I am Laughing my arse off!!!!

An attempt to pull 2 cards here.

First the Jealousy card.
second, the guilt card.

What a piece of work! Now I shut the answer machine off when I go out. Better off that way.

Looks like her "friend" is gonna go for some poontang this weekend. He must be thinking along the lines, that she is weak and vulnerable right now.

Funny...I HOPE he gets laid. So the Jealousy card is no good anymore LOL

Guilt? Why feel guilty about doing the right thing! Silly Wabbit tricks are for kids!!!

 

[Cremasta]

You like a bit of drama in your life Jet? Its been interesting to see your change in attitude over the 3 or so pages of posts here. I think everything has already been said before, but...

Originally posted by Jet Jockey
If I allow her to suck me into any of her drama BS, it will muddy the water and scare away any other "fish"!

It might be an idea to get everything straight in your head about what happened. Because if this nutter does show up while you are entertaining your next girl, you want to deflect this possible confrontation with style.

Any girl who gives another guy a map to your house for the purpose of kicking your head in, is not all there. Expect more weirdness to come.

Hope its all smooth for you and just fades into the past.