URGENT! Another DJ is stealing my woman..how do I fight back???

[Jet Jockey]

OK


I have read all your posts.

I called her.

I told her, to have fun with him, make it really really enjoyable. make it worth it! I told her, I am done with the games the BS, whatever!

I also told her, that as far as I am concerned, I don't want to be friends. I don't want to be in that category. I wished her well, and also let her know, she was worth it at one time...but not now.

Her response:

Geez, you are going off the deep end huh?
Me: naw, this is THE end.
Her: so you are mad at me?
Me: not at all I just lost the trust.
Her: Gawd you are so Jealous!!!!
Me: Not jealous, just nobodies fool.
Her: I just need to explore things... I go from one relationship to another, and I need time for me!
Me: Sounds to me like you will be getting that this weekend for sure, nobody around (laugh).
Her: You are jealous!
Me: not at all, just thought you were someone you weren't!
Her: I love you!!!!
Me: funny way of showing it!
Her: Gawd you are so deep tonite!
Me: Girls just want to have fun right?
Her: whats that supposed to mean?
Me: YOU figure it out.
Her: I love you!!!
Me CLICK!!!!!(Hang up)


Done deal!!!! Thanks for the ballsy advice everyone!!! She will be replaced ( do I have a choice?) Glad I went down fighting! Ya all are too proactive here for keeping a relationship alive!!!

 

[felony]

This is one of the most ridiculous things i've ever read and wasted my time on. Heck i thought i was tragic back in the AFC days but dude you set a whole new bench mark.

YOU ARE 4o. start acting like it! You type and show the maturity of a puzzy kid losing his first week long girlfriend.

Ok i can understand maybe your current situation is causing you to act in this irrational behaviour, and you've done the right thing coming here to ask for help. Cos us DJs can see something going on here that you obviously can't.

Away with this entire "PLAN" idea. Infact eliminate that word from your vocab. WTF u planning stuff for?

You asked for some assistance and you got some good advice. To be a man. Echo gave you some sound advice, which is logical and infact the 'normal' way you should act. Heck you shouldn't be acting anything.

Also, I'm loving iqqi and he's cool posts on "**** her" and the huge spaces in his posts and random replys with just the above statement. I felt those two words were very powerful and suit this situation ideally.


HMM just realised you posted up. I'm not gonna delete what i just typed, let it be a lesson to u. lol.

But otherwise, good work bro!! That call was the ticket. if anything she won't have nearly as good a time with this guy now... and if anything your current actions increased your worth and set her panties a little hot.

You should also feel better about yourself. Now get to work slaying those chicks that are worth your time.

Cheers,
felony.

 

[Hot Ice]

You to her:
"You want to cheat? oooh, yeah! go ahead. It's not possible though. Because you are SINGLE right now!"
Then you leave the building...
And START READING DJ-BIBLE, BECOME A DJ AND GET SOME WOMEN WITH RESPECT!!!
Trust me man, it's worth it.

Happy Hunting!
- Hot Ice


EDIT:
Ooooooops!!!

You did it already.
OK. Now that was a great action indeed.

The best advice I can give to you (which is REALLY good)
that you stick around here and start learning about some things.
It may be sound offending to you to take this kind of advice from 18 year old guy..
Just accept that changes doesn't happen in one day and make a long term commitment of learning here.
You will get some great women in no time.

 

[G_S]

For the love of God, don't write her any love poems. That's about the worst thing you can do.

 

[seloifter]

OK, just about the best thing you can do when she starts "getting attention from other guys" is to not care.
No games. Please.
Just. Don't care. That's it. You don't mind if she has male friends. If she wants to hang out, that's fine. You have other plans anyway.
What you CAN'T take, however, is disrespect. Right now, she hasn't exactly disrespected you; but once she does, you have to tell her you won't take it. Walk.

Chances are she isn't looking to score with this guy. He most likely is, but maybe she's not. And if she isn't, and she is into you, then he'll have to be a *real* good dj to bed her.

So, my best advice is to stop caring if she's going to be spending time with a male friend. Treat it just like that. Go do something else. Like read the bible.

 

[dietzcoi]

Man, F@ck these b1tches and thier so called "male friends"

WTF is wrong with them? My ex also has/had a "male friend".

Guaranteed he wanted to F@ck her. She of course would not accept this.... Don't women know, thats what we men are all about?

Why are the b1tches too stupid to see what thier "male friends" want from them?

Crazy world.

You did the right thing. She WAS disrespecting you. I am glad you escaped in time from her.

Dietzcoi

 

[G_S]

Originally posted by dietzcoi
Why are the b1tches too stupid to see what thier "male friends" want from them?

Crazy world.

You've got to be kidding me. She *knows* he wants to bang, women aren't stupid. She just acts like she's too blind to see it around you. She knows what he wants, and she enjoys the attention it brings. Girls who do this have either lost interest in their boyfriend, or their just flat out looking for attention. If you're not giving them enough they'll start hanging out with a new-found "guy friend," (shutters) suddenly you start giving them even more attention because you're in competition for your own damn girlfriend! Presto, three times the attention as before.

 

[drixsa]

jockey-

you broke up over the phone, yea thats really ballsy

you are 40 yrs old! act it

u seem to have a perverse definition of what a man is

you should of just of been a man in the 1st place and let her go

instead you let your ego get in the way and made excuses so that you could "learn" something

ironically enough Iqqi's lack of balls is quite natural being that she is a woman (or claims to be)

its funny but they way your thought process played out reminded me of the way i thought when i was 15

 

[G_S]

I agree with the other posters here. I see a vagina playing a flute and Jet Jockey popping his head out of a wicker basket.

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by G_S
I agree with the other posters here. I see a vagina playing a flute and Jet Jockey popping his head out of a wicker basket.

i guess thats a way to fraze it...

 

[CLOONEY]

U did well mate. She loves you more because you were Jealous! It was purely a game, however I think that she is fukcing this guy. Better off without her.

 

[Zephyrus]

If my woman done that to me i'd lose my ****ing mind... and if it really pissed me off enough i'd start tipping funrniture and storm out of the house like a raving lunatic. She'll call her little buddy and tell him it's not a good idea.

If you told that chic that you did not like that idea of her asking him over or whatever and she did it anyway?! That's not good. In fact that's only the beginning.

I hear chics all the time... "no man is ever gonna tell me who i can and who i can't talk to" well sorry doll, i'm telling you... if you don't like it, you know where the door is.

I've had girls i really liked that disrespected me in the most minor of ways yet i still let em know i didn't like it and it was over. They were like "Holy Shyt!" I thought you said Vanilla Ice Cream!

Ya know what i'm saying, yer a dude man you've got tons of chics out there to get, no matter how much you THINK you liked this one. Remember, the last girl you liked this much, she's gone and now your into another.

I hope this Helps.
Zephyrus

 

[chlywly]

I think "NEXT" clearly ressonates here!

 

[echo1212]

Well, you did well my friend. Your phone call wasn't exactly like I would have put it, but you did very very good to end it. You can tell from her reaction that she thought she had you wrapped around her finger.

Now, honestly I dont know what will happen. It depends on her feelings for this guy and how strong her feelings are for you. If she really really loved you like she claimed, she'll call up her "friend" and tell him the weekend is off and try to make things right with you. If she doesn't or not that much, he'll still come, she'll have her fling, and youll hear from her in a while or not at all. But no matter what, you did things the right way. No need for you to be at work this weekend fretting and wondering while shes doing "stuff" with this guy. Keep us posted. Interested in Knowing how this turns out.

 

[prosemont]

Jet,
It's hearing stories like this that make me the misogynist I am.

I agree with Tesuque as usual: she is NOT long term relationship (LTR) material. This is the clincher:

"Her: I just need to explore things... I go from one relationship to another, and I need time for me!"

I GO FROM ONE RELATIONSHIP TO ANOTHER?!?!

This woman is fvcking clueless, demented, or believes that you WILL ALWAYS BE THERE. YOU ARE A BACKUP. SHE CAN FVCK WHOEVER SHE WANTS AND, WHEN SHE'S DONE, YOU WILL STILL TAKE HER WITH OPEN ARMS!

W-R-O-N-G.

What she doesn't realize is that by simply putting this at issue, she has DISQUALIFIED HERSELF as LTR with you.

PUT A FORK IN HER, SHE'S FVCKING DONE!

Now Jet ... You've been pretty clear with her. You've given her ample opportunity. Fact is, she's going to do what she wants to do anyway. That's fine, but not with you around. And, you are right. You know, your mind has a way of playing tricks on you where you START TO ACTUALLY BELIEVE what someone is saying and you begin to question yourself ... WAS I just being jealous over nothing?? Was I being unreasonable? She LOVES me afterall! WRONG. You are correct in this matter. No doubt about it. If she truly loved you and cared about you, she wouldn't even put this at issue. What does it entail her giving up, anyway? What is so worth it to her to put your relationship at risk? She has put it right on the line for what, to fvck this other guy? To hang around with this other guy and see if they WOULD BE a match and then, if not, then she ALWAYS HAS YOU AS A FALL-BACK POSITION? WRONG!

NOW, REMEMBER ALL OF THIS WELL. DO NOT IN THE FUTURE JUSTIFY AND RATIONALIZE ALL THIS. DO NOT SECOND GUESS YOURSELF BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING TO SECOND GUESS. AND, MOST IMPORTANT, DO NOT CONTACT HER OR ALLOW CONTACT TO BE MADE. IF YOU TAKE HER BACK, YOU ARE A FVCKING CHUMP. I will bet donuts to dollars that she has or will fvck this guy. I am certain of it. If you take her back, you will have been played. You will also send a message to her forevermore that she can play these games, use you as a back-up chumpboy, and you'll still take her back!!!! You will have lost EVERYTHING.

Lastly, on the issue of "jealousy" and how people use that to level you off at the knees, see my post:

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=40372

Good luck Jet. This is tough to swallow, I know, but you've made the right decision and you must stick to it. This chick is not worth anymore of your time or energy. Think of it as a gift from her to you. You've learned very very clearly her true nature without having to invest any more time in her and before things got too involved. Good riddance.

 

[MR_PERFECT]

You guys are good!

I would just like to state something that hasn't been touched on: She cheated on you during the first trip! I would put money on this. If this guy lived closer, she would have left already. Think about it, we've all tried to steal girls from guys before. What's the number 1 rule of getting another guys girl in bed? Get her out alone. The ideal situation is over your house. Him getting her over for the night, 8-9 hours away, is off the charts.

I think you were looking at this the wrong way. We are not kids anymore, it's not important for us to believe every battle can be won. In certain situations, you just can't win. This situation was one of them. The phone call was a good idea, but you went about it the wrong way. The goal should have been to make her feel as bad as possible, while at the same time breaking up. You came off as to nonchalant. The less emotion you show, the easier it is for her to have the guy over. You should have acted like it hurt, then broke-up with her. Women hat to look like the bad guy.

She's going to call you back (she can't realistically be with this guy because of the distance), the question is when? If she calls you before the weekend, she was afraid to leave this relationship until she has a new one. I would pretend everything is okay, just to ruin her plans.

If the call is after the weekend, she had guilt free sex and now realizes she's alone. When you answer (we all know you will), act like this is the happiest time of your life. Don't ask about her weekend, but act really friendly. End the conversation before she has time to talk about your relationship. Trust me on this: don't ask one detail about the weekend, it will eat you alive.

 

[Jet Jockey]

If she truly loved you and cared about you, she wouldn't even put this at issue. What does it entail her giving up, anyway? What is so worth it to her to put your relationship at risk? She has put it right on the line for what, to fvck this other guy? To hang around with this other guy and see if they WOULD BE a match and then, if not, then she ALWAYS HAS YOU AS A FALL-BACK POSITION? WRONG!


EXACTLY!!!!!!!!

That makes alot of sense! She might be trying to see if she can have the control in the relationship ( by getting to do whatever she wants), or she might (and probably is ) trying to see if the grass is any greener. She cut her own throat with me!

Yes, I agree, when ya get into a situation like this, its easy to say WTF, then when she doesn't do what you ask her to do, Stay and get stubborn and try to impose my will ...a tug of war. Well, I decided to Just let go of the rope and let her fall on her cute little azz!

She has already called crying on my answer machine twice this morning. I Didn't pick it up, cuz I got nothing to say to her. I know she has school ( she is in college) today, but tomorrow she is off, and guess who will most likely be on my door step...

I have been in contact with this little hottie "Jennifer" that I was working on at the same time I met the one giving me all the trouble. Jennifer really wants to meet tomorrow! I told Jennifer ok for a little while, so we are gonna meet for coffee.

As far as my newly nexted ex showing up on my door step, doing that crying thing, please take me back etc.. I'm in no mood. I don't want her back. If she will pull the Jealousy card on me, then she will pull other cards next time she wants something. She is a manipulater, and I woke up just in time. Question... How to "get rid of her" I don't need her showing up if I got another woman here, and ruining that with her teardrops! I don't really want to talk to her much, cuz I have better things to do than to argue with her. She created this....

Thanks guys for all your help. I know at first I thought some of you were being pretty harsh, and "next happy" but after I thought about it, she DID disqualify herself for LTR material. She can cry on her "friends" shoulder or his crotch or whatever all she wants now!

 

[bp1974]

If you think there's a good chance of your ex turning up at your place at a random time tomorrow, don't bring the other girl back there. Have a fun day out with her instead and forget about your ex, sounds like you could use it.

 

[prosemont]

You know, I didn't even read the facts closely, but now that Mr. Perfect has pointed it out, he is right: SHE HAS ALREADY FVCKED THIS GUY. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

To review:

1. She meets him Saturday and the very next day drives 2 hours FOUR (4) HOURS ROUNDTRIP! to spend the entire day with him. Check.

2. Repeat the following Saturday. Check.

3. Third weekend, he's coming up to stay Friday thru Sunday. Check.

Um ... yep, she's ALREADY FVCKED HIM. Tell me ... do you honestly think a woman drives 4 hours (roundtrip) in a day to see someone who she ISN'T fvcking? And then, does the same thing 6 days later? And then arranges to have him spend the entire weekend a week later? Didn't think so. She's ALREADY CHEATED.

Moreover ... she already ADMITTED that she considers this to be a "RELATIONSHIP" with him with her statement that she goes "from one RELATIONSHIP to another." Further, if it were a platonic friendship, there's no reason why she wouldn't invite you to go out with her on Friday when he's coming up. But, you are definitely NOT invited. Game is over here, she's definitely taking hot baloney injections from this guy (and flaunting it and taunting you with it, btw).

She's just keeping you around because it may not work out logistically with this guy because of the distance. So, yep, she'll be back with lots of mucus to get you back. Too late for her.

How to end it: call her (yeah, that's right for all you "be a man" douchebags ... don't even meet with her) and you tell her the following: "Hey, I got your messages and thought I should call you so that we're clear on this. I've lost faith and trust in you and without that's there's no relationship. It can't be recreated either. You fvcked up. Hope it was worth it. Don't call me ever again and don't come by here because I've already moved on. [I'll send you your stuff. Note: if there is any stuff, pack it up in a box and mail it to her. Pay the postage. Do it even if there is some doubt as to whether she actually wants it. No message, btw, just mail the stuff.] Good luck, I wish you well."

Do the foregoing with an "as a matter of fact tone." No drama, no yelling, no theatrics. Do not argue. Do not try to "win" a debate. Those things are for people who you want to change behavior with -- but not here because you truly are done with this woman.

Good luck with the new one bro. And, a dose of reality is a good thing.

Edit: Btw, that original list of things you were going to do is goofy at best, desperate at worst. Glad you've seen that and decided against it. It's not always easy to see the forest through the trees when you're involved in this stuff.

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by Jet Jockey
Ok IQQI

So If i follow your advice, I cave, i cower, and i run. NICE!!!!!!

You almost sound like a woman! NO Balls!

Forget my sutuation for a minute.

IF

Another DJ, said I like what you have, can I steal it, let me make sure I get this right...

You'd say by all means, help yourself!

Could this be a test of my resolve? Could it be a "do you have balls enough to not run, give in and do the easiest thing possible?"

Probably.

She is checking out my response that is for sure. Maybe my plan was not as great as it could be.. but thats because i have not yet heard a better plan. Have you offered one?

Your plan is for me to let MR DJ coming to visit to take over completely. Yes I cannot prevent her from fvcking him or from her letting him come over....but I can use tried and true principles. If i jut sweep it under the rug and say SIGH, then I guess, I she will have a high IL in me right? NOT!!!

The best thing here I think and it doesn't matter how it is worded, is to basically let her know I AM the prize, she is hurting her position with me, and if she attaches any value to maintaining this relationship then she needs to think real hard!

Otherwise of course she will be nexted. If I nexted every woman cuz someone else was interested in her, I'd b no better than she is..

She is (temp insanity) giving in to a fantasy she has played out in her mind before. Should it intimidate me? Nope. Should it make me give up? Nope. Should I put her on notice? Hell yes!


"The greatest rulers of all time are those that rule thru, fairness, not fear, perserverance, not a quick fix, respect not force, and patience, not panic"

you keep thinking that 'another DJ' is stealing your girl away. that isn't ture. the fact is you are not a DJ. at least not from what you wrote in that post anyway.

what you did was right though. Just don't cave into her. If you to talk to her again tell her that she hass to prov her worth to you because you are not interested in a slut.