Unexpected 3rd date flank

[Desdinova]

I was asked to chime in on this thread, but there's really not much for me to add. I'm just going to re-quote the best stuff that's been posted.

It doesn't matter if she is a virgin or not a virgin. Doing it the way you described is doing it backwards. You NEED to escalate. If she is a virgin, she is NOT going to escalate because she doesn't "know" how yet. How can you expect her to take things further when she supposedly hasn't before?

Do you really expect someone to just ride a bike and run the Tour de France when they haven't even used training wheels first?

By taking the LTR route vs the Sex route, you are taking the Friendzone route. You have her on a pedestal merely because she is a virgin.

you went backwards, I mean, you went from:
date --> kiss --> makeout --> kiss --> nothing

when you should have gone:

date --> kiss --> makeout --> heavy makeout --> intimate touching --> sex

yeah I had a feeling you guys were extremely young. Just do what you feel is right and then OBSERVE her reactions to your actions and stick them in your memory. There's no substitute for experience and you need a lot of it.

To add a bit to what Zarky said, you're lacking a lot of experience, mostly due to age. You need to get out there and PRACTICE escalating. No matter what your age is, you need to quit putting all your eggs in one basket, even if you get one girl who wants to date you. One girl's interest does NOT equal your future wife. You shouldn't even be thinking about your future wife until you're at least 35-40 years old. Trust me, your dating life is at its BEST when you're in your 30s. At that point, you'll know what kind of qualities you want in a woman, what qualities you DON'T want in a woman, and you'll have an endless supply of hot women ranging from 19-35 years old. Right now, your age range is from what? 15-18? Women in that age bracket are absolutely useless as LTR material. The best female age bracket for finding a long term partner is about 23-27. You're not even close to that yet.

So again, get out there, practice dating, and get some experience under your belt.

 

[wishyo]

Well, I am 23, this girl is 17. I indeed lack experience, no doubt about that. However, the only girl I had LTR with had been my GF for over 3 years… Our dating story was pretty amazing, we didn’t have that much drama, she didn’t flake me, I have been doing a lot of AFC stuff, been needy often, sometimes I was a jerk, I didn’t escalate for a very long time, but our relationship been working out nicely and very naturally, nothing was forced... I mean if this current girl doesn’t like me because I don’t escalate by trying to touch her excessivel or kiss/fvck here asap, I don’t really need her, she is fvcking stupid then if that’s the reason.
I obviously know that one’s girl interest especially in such a young age has nothing to do with her becoming a wife (she was engaged last year though and her marriage was scheduled for this summer.. her best friend/sister is about to marry, she ALWAYS copycats what her sister does, so she is looking for LTR to say the least).
I don’t need a wife, all I need is a girl I like, who will become my good friend obviously with some romantic/physical stuff, but that is not crucial for me.
thanks desdinova!

 

[Kailex]

WeI mean if this current girl doesn’t like me because I don’t escalate by trying to touch her excessivel or kiss/fvck here asap, I don’t really need her, she is fvcking stupid then if that’s the reason.

She's not "fvcking stupid". She's a woman who wants a man to be a man and act like a man.

Everything you said is the "Hollywood version" of what how a man acts like in a movie. Oh, the good friend gets the girl in the end! That's not how real life works.

You wanted a virgin to initiate with you. I'm pretty sure she wants YOU to do it. I admire the fact that you are set to doing things a certain way, but that's what could also lead to you eventually repeating the same mistake over and over.

I don't understand the route you are taking, but by all means, continue to take it for as long as you deem it necessary. It's never too late to learn from our experiences, good or bad, but you need to understand, not every woman is going to want to take that route with you... and if they don't, you HAVE to let it go, simply because they already have.

 

[wishyo]

well, I dont really get my problem with initiation.. A date before our last one, I did escalate, I did some touching, hugged and kissed her 2 or 3 times, she even managed to open her goddamn mouth the way I wanted for the 3rd kiss so it was proper french kiss, short one though. Then we had our last date where I hugged/touched her for like 30 minutes or even an hour, i didnt go for a kiss, but guys come on she didnt flake because I have been hugging/touching her, but didnt kiss lol... then she left for vacations and now flaked dates.
Anyways, today our firm's ex employee came to visit us, I chatted with her several times few month ago, but didnt pay enough attention to her as I was dating my current b1tch. She looks pretty decent, she is also pretty tall, probably 6 or even 6'1... Will ask someone for her numberl, couldnt find her on social websites (it's a big plus already). New thread is coming lol

 

[pyros]

well, I dont really get my problem with initiation.. A date before our last one, I did escalate, I did some touching, hugged and kissed her 2 or 3 times, she even managed to open her goddamn mouth the way I wanted for the 3rd kiss so it was proper french kiss, short one though. Then we had our last date where I hugged/touched her for like 30 minutes or even an hour, i didnt go for a kiss, but guys come on she didnt flake because I have been hugging/touching her, but didnt kiss lol... then she left for vacations and now flaked dates.
Anyways, today our firm's ex employee came to visit us, I chatted with her several times few month ago, but didnt pay enough attention to her as I was dating my current b1tch. She looks pretty decent, she is also pretty tall, probably 6 or even 6'1... Will ask someone for her numberl, couldnt find her on social websites (it's a big plus already). New thread is coming lol

wrong! you ask HER for the number, not someone else. ANd you ask for it after you've talked to her and it seems you two like each other. You do not go asking for numbers like a robot. I did that, no good.

And...It is just too funy that you say you were 'dating' the other chick. What the heck? you went on three or four dates, that is not dating.

P.S. 1
Anyway, always escalate. In each date you make a small progress. If there are a couple of dates in which you make 0 progress...be cautious.....LOL.

P.S.2
Try not to focus that much and become obssesed with one girl, well, dont do it with any girl.

 

[wishyo]

7 lol and we made out so technically I can say that...
She is a FORMER EMPLOYEE=she doesnt work here anymore. of course I would have asked her number in person, she just stopped by today for like 10 minutes, by the time I've seen her and came to a conclusion that I should talk to her, she was gone. Worst thing i cant find her on any social websites..

 

[wishyo]

update for doomsayers,
We met today, had another 8 hour long date, I intentionally havent kissed her and nearly didnt touch her, at some point she was all over me hugging and touching me.. she did the same thing when we were in subway, i didnt respond to that either. (Yea, now go fvcking tell me that I am on my fvcking way to a friendzone).

As for adjustments I've made: 1) I haven't offered her a next date 2) I was leading her and we were going and doing pretty much what I wanted... Once again, she asked me to go to the movies which I refused lol. Also, our date was scheduled for yesterday, I told her I cant make it on Saturday so we scheduled it for today so this time technically I was the one who actually flaked a date and rescheduled.

However, there have been several new things which I didnt like in today's date (enjoy this doomsayers): 1) at some point she was using her phone quite a bit texting her "best" friend back 2) she didnt hold eye contact that much, I think she kept on staring back to me only few times this time, before she was pretty much always staring back to me. This one I dislike the most, i hate this 3) since her arrival this week, it took her quite a bit of time to text back 4) I might really overplay it being cold/indifferent and get into a friendzone indeed..
There have been several new things/ways she behaved and acted which I liked, but there is no need to mention them for now.
p.s. go anti-dump dating philosophy, go!

 

[Kailex]

Was this post just to prove our point or to call us doomsayers while proving our point?

 

[wishyo]

There have been many different "points" in this thread, I am not sure what exactly was ypur point. I actually agreed AND IMPLEMENTED your point about her wanting a men/leader and I leaded big time during our yesterday's date. Not sure why you even grouped yourself with doomsayers, you didnt post or tell me that my dating with this girl is over...
My post was just another update as last 6 weeks were uncertain as fvck, I am quite satisfied that everything worked out. Also wanted to show my point about escalation... it similar to what Anti-Dump posted before, he mentioned that he doesn’t like kino/excessive kissing/early sex during early dating stages as it just shows way too much interest way too early, thus killing all the mystery and uncertainty about dude's interest in a girl. I think it works even better with hot girls as they receive so much attention from males... This girl's phone was exploding during our date. She was away for almost 6 weeks, yet she chose me to meet with her... and it was her 3rd day at home (1st day upon her arrival she went out with her parents, 2nd day was supposed to be our date, but i couldnt make it).
<IF> she will agree to go out with me some time soon after our yesterday's "just walking and talking" date will mean a lot, I will reward her with physical attention on our next date. My biggest "fear" after my yesterday's date was that I might have overplayed my "low interest" play.. it eventually can indeed put me into a friendzone, but I am not there... the way she was breathing when she was touching and hugging me in the park is just... just revealed everything, I am not her "friend" by a long shot but I will certainly escalate on our next date. Gotta figure out whether I should go for a heavy makeout session or just for few kisses...