Unexpected 3rd date flank

[wishyo]

Yea, your texting way would have been better. Not sure why I decided to explain it in details. Reason why I texted is just to figure out wtf is going with her, last Sunday we arranged that I will pick her up this Saturday.. I just wanted to get in touch.
One reason though is that she lives quite far away from the city so she really has to plan it out and put effort to get to the city. So “Ill let ya know” wouldn’t really work because it will take her at least 1 hour just to get to me I believe she has to take a bus, then sub just to get here.. She told me that pretty much always her parents take her if she needs to go somewhere. She is probably just lazy as she knows that I don’t take my car during regular work week so she has to get to me by herself or maybedoesn’t want her parents know that she is going out. She also knows that I will drive her b1tch ass on Saturday so she took a path of least resistance
As far as for cancelling the date.. I thought about it a lot, trick is that she leaves for vacations next week meaning that I will not see her for about 2 weeks I believe and I WANT to see her. How would you play it this case where she leaves for vacations next week?

 

[Rival]

Yea, your texting way would have been better. Not sure why I decided to explain it in details. Reason why I texted is just to figure out wtf is going with her, last Sunday we arranged that I will pick her up this Saturday.. I just wanted to get in touch.
One reason though is that she lives quite far away from the city so she really has to plan it out and put effort to get to the city. So “Ill let ya know” wouldn’t really work because it will take her at least 1 hour just to get to me I believe she has to take a bus, then sub just to get here.. She told me that pretty much always her parents take her if she needs to go somewhere. She is probably just lazy as she knows that I don’t take my car during regular work week so she has to get to me by herself or maybedoesn’t want her parents know that she is going out. She also knows that I will drive her b1tch ass on Saturday so she took a path of least resistance
As far as for cancelling the date.. I thought about it a lot, trick is that she leaves for vacations next week meaning that I will not see her for about 2 weeks I believe and I WANT to see her. How would you play it this case where she leaves for vacations next week?

yeah I can understand wanting to be more direct due to the travel restrictions. The fact she is even wanting to go on a 3rd date is good. She def. sees you as potential at the very least. Make this 3rd date really fun. Do something very active. Leave the date on a very high note. Do not text her how you had a great time..unless she texts you first. Maybe fake a phone call during the date..excuse yourself and if she asks who it was..say oh it was one of my friends..she is going through some stuff...then change the subject..
This will build some sort of social proof/Get her brain working...(who is that girl etc)

Then when she goes on vacation..try and get her to ask you what your doing..maybe indirectly say

"having a blast today, hope your day has been as fun as mine) something like that

If/When she asks you what your doing..just say chillin with a friend(maybe say something like:having a blast with a friend.she really needed a pick me up haha). make sure its singular. She will most likely assume it's the girl from the "phone call" you had earlier.

This will keep her interested (if she needs it) until she comes back from vaca.

Never out text her..no matter what! If she is blowing your phone up while she is on vaca..1 word responses/delayed texts back(1-2 hours) will **** her up haha.

I did this same thing to a girl I ended up dating 3 years..expect the phone call/friend was a real girl.

Goodluck man and keep me posted!

 

[Rival]

Yea, your texting way would have been better. Not sure why I decided to explain it in details. Reason why I texted is just to figure out wtf is going with her, last Sunday we arranged that I will pick her up this Saturday.. I just wanted to get in touch.
One reason though is that she lives quite far away from the city so she really has to plan it out and put effort to get to the city. So “Ill let ya know” wouldn’t really work because it will take her at least 1 hour just to get to me I believe she has to take a bus, then sub just to get here.. She told me that pretty much always her parents take her if she needs to go somewhere. She is probably just lazy as she knows that I don’t take my car during regular work week so she has to get to me by herself or maybedoesn’t want her parents know that she is going out. She also knows that I will drive her b1tch ass on Saturday so she took a path of least resistance
As far as for cancelling the date.. I thought about it a lot, trick is that she leaves for vacations next week meaning that I will not see her for about 2 weeks I believe and I WANT to see her. How would you play it this case where she leaves for vacations next week?

yeah I can understand wanting to be more direct due to the travel restrictions. The fact she is even wanting to go on a 3rd date is good. She def. sees you as potential at the very least. Make this 3rd date really fun. Do something very active. Leave the date on a very high note. Do not text her how you had a great time..unless she texts you first. Maybe fake a phone call during the date..excuse yourself and if she asks who it was..say oh it was one of my friends..she is going through some stuff...then change the subject..
This will build some sort of social proof/Get her brain working...(who is that girl etc)

Then when she goes on vacation..try and get her to ask you what your doing..maybe indirectly say

"having a blast today, hope your day has been as fun as mine) something like that

If/When she asks you what your doing..just say chillin with a friend. make sure its singular. She will most likely assume it's the girl from the "phone call" you had earlier.

This will keep her interested (if she needs it) until she comes back from vaca.

Never out text her..no matter what! If she is blowing your phone up while she is on vaca..1 word responses/delayed texts back(1-2 hours) will **** her up haha.

I did this same thing to a girl I ended up dating 3 years..expect the phone call/friend was a actually real.

Goodluck man and keep me posted!

 

[wishyo]

I think it will be our 6th date or so, I made a move already so overall I think we are in good shape in terms of interest to each other. I just don’t wanna kill our chemistry doing AFC sh1t (I am AFC big time still).
As for having fun date, it will be easier this time as I’ve got “permission” to kiss or at least touch her. They really love it, REALLY. Pre touching/kissing is the most boring date period for me, all you can do is to talk about some garbage, flirt perhaps and trying to read her mind…
Fvck yea man, we are on the same level. I was actually thinking about asking my good buddy to call me when I am on the date with her and at some point I would ask him “Anything new/interesting?” and he would tell me that one girl from my university is coming to the city where I live for the whole summer, I would spell her name out load as well as the fact that she just came here and how long she will stay here, probably will mention that she has a car or so I will think more about how exactly to play it out, but certainly will do it. If she is interested, it will drive her nuts. At least, it would drive me fvcking crazy if I would be her at that point in time
Yea, 100% agree about 1 word responses and delayed texts, that’s easy to implement. Cancelling this Saturday date would have be a really great play, DJ one. Touche I don’t know other girls around here since I just moved.
I will up this once we meet, or if i will come up with an idea

 

[pdx1138]

As for having fun date, it will be easier this time as I’ve got “permission” to kiss or at least touch her.

I don't think I want to know how that came to be,
but don't seek permission. take it when the time is right.

 

[wishyo]

I don't think I want to know how that came to be,
but don't seek permission. take it when the time is right.

hahaha, I just put it this way. As I posted it before, I just went for a kiss last time and she "accepted" it (kissed me back) so it is reasonable to assume she wants more of that on our date tomorrow.

 

[wishyo]

Update:
We had another date today, went to some park and had long ass walk around some museum, took us probably freaking two hours to go thru that endless labyrinth. Was pretty much the same walking/talking **** as previous times. The only interesting talking part was that she was referring that we will keep on meeting/exploring different places (i.e. I would say that we haven't managed to see some stuff, she would say, oh next time will certainly see that and so on)
Only interesting thing was that after that museum she asked me to sit down with her on some bench. At some point she put her face on my shoulder "hiding from the sun," then i put my arm below her back (kind of hugging/cuddling, not sure what is the proper word) and kind of pulled her closer to me We kept sitting like this for like 30 minutes or so talking about some garbage, technically couples would sit like this and she didnt evade from that. So I guess she was enjoying that.. I did no kissing at all as she said last time it takes time for her to get used to people, that she is shy and very unexperienced and stuff..
After I drove her, she kissed me in my cheek and said that we will meet once she will get back from her long ass vacations=29th of July she is coming back.
How does that sound, am I on the right path?
I haven't played that thing with my friend calling me and telling about some chick "i know very well from our school." That would have been a decent play, just was too busy to talk about that with my buddy

 

[No.Danny]

Update:
We had another date today, went to some park and had long ass walk around some museum, took us probably freaking two hours to go thru that endless labyrinth. Was pretty much the same walking/talking **** as previous times. The only interesting talking part was that she was referring that we will keep on meeting/exploring different places (i.e. I would say that we haven't managed to see some stuff, she would say, oh next time will certainly see that and so on)
Only interesting thing was that after that museum she asked me to sit down with her on some bench. At some point she put her face on my shoulder "hiding from the sun," then i put my arm below her back (kind of hugging/cuddling, not sure what is the proper word) and kind of pulled her closer to me We kept sitting like this for like 30 minutes or so talking about some garbage, technically couples would sit like this and she didnt evade from that. So I guess she was enjoying that.. I did no kissing at all as she said last time it takes time for her to get used to people, that she is shy and very unexperienced and stuff..
After I drove her, she kissed me in my cheek and said that we will meet once she will get back from her long ass vacations=29th of July she is coming back.
How does that sound, am I on the right path?
I haven't played that thing with my friend calling me and telling about some chick "i know very well from our school." That would have been a decent play, just was too busy to talk about that with my buddy

Definitely making strides still acting like an AFC. Waiting for approval?? Are you freaking gay!! You need to escalate or her interest WILL EVAPORATE.

 

[wishyo]

Look, I did escalate last time we met last week, I went for a kiss, it was awkward as fvck, then went for some more... All of them she accepted (accepted=didnt turn her head off or asked me to back off, I think I felt her tongue few times though), but they were not french ones. They were so freaking weird cant even explain it, and they were short too. She then mentioned something that it takes time for her to get used to a person, that she is very shy, unexperienced and so on..

Probably you havent read, but I posted before that this girl is just 17. She never been to a night club, never even got drank, never had sex and so on. She played volleyball professionally for most of her life, so i guess she didnt have time to date/learn how to flirt and so on..
As for her dating, she said she dated one 29 year old dude (fvcked up stuff, he was freaking 29 years old when she was 16... just sick), but it was all platonic, at some point that dude wanted to marry her being strict catholic dude (wanted her to sit at home, make kids and stuff) so they broke up in last November because she didn't want all that, I mean she is a freaking kid herself.

Besides that I was planning to escalate early on, but when I actually picked her up, she had red eyes from crying. She had some family drama between her parents and her brother, but for some reason she got involved in it, got emotional and so on so I decided to wait as she was clearly upset (her family said some strong words like her brother said she is not his sister anymore, her father also said the same)...
Then we went to that goddamn long ass museum where it was inappropriate to kiss or even play around, after our museum journey that bench thing happened..

 

[No.Danny]

Look, I did escalate last time we met last week, I went for a kiss, it was awkward as fvck, then went for some more... All of them she accepted (accepted=didnt turn her head off or asked me to back off, I think I felt her tongue few times though), but they were not french ones. They were so freaking weird cant even explain it, and they were short too. She then mentioned something that it takes time for her to get used to a person, that she is very shy, unexperienced and so on..

Probably you havent read, but I posted before that this girl is just 17. She never been to a night club, never even got drank, never had sex and so on. She played volleyball professionally for most of her life, so i guess she didnt have time to date/learn how to flirt and so on..
As for her dating, she said she dated one 29 year old dude (fvcked up stuff, he was freaking 29 years old when she was 16... just sick), but it was all platonic, at some point that dude wanted to marry her being strict catholic dude (wanted her to sit at home, make kids and stuff) so they broke up in last November because she didn't want all that, I mean she is a freaking kid herself.

Besides that I was planning to escalate early on, but when I actually picked her up, she had red eyes from crying. She had some family drama between her parents and her brother, but for some reason she got involved in it, got emotional and so on so I decided to wait as she was clearly upset (her family said some strong words like her brother said she is not his sister anymore, her father also said the same)...
Then we went to that goddamn long ass museum where it was inappropriate to kiss or even play around, after our museum journey that bench thing happened..

That's good. I can sense your frustration. But letting us know the whole story definitely assists in us helping.
About not kissing her because she has troubles in her life at the moment. I personally feel like a kiss on the lips or forehead is very powerful. Especially when you were in. the bench knowing the situation and she was cuddling.
And I have read it all. I'm actually interested and cheering for you.

 

[wishyo]

Thanks for reading and caring. I am really charmed by this girl, it's not oneitis though, still managing to keep emotions away. But to be honest, I am really sad she is leaving for vacations. I could sense similar when she talked about her vacations
As for not kissing, I didn't do it because of her problems in family. I didn't do it because last time after those kisses she told me that she needs time... But needing time just to kiss is really a joke, w/e mb she is indeed that young, inexperienced and innocent that kissing is something special to her.. I can wait , patience pays.

 

[wishyo]

Alright, she is back from vacations.
Planning to text her tomorrow evening asking her out, note that we havent been in touch since 12th of June (our last date).
Text will be something like: <HB's name> hi! What are your plans for the weekend and Friday?" Any suggestions?

Reason I am asking for these three days is that I will have half day on Friday and I also want to play tennis with my good buddy, usually he was coming over on Saturday, would stay over and we would play again on Sunday morning, since she is back, i will cut my hours with him

 

[Zarky]

yeah I had a feeling you guys were extremely young. Just do what you feel is right and then OBSERVE her reactions to your actions and stick them in your memory. There's no substitute for experience and you need a lot of it.

 

[hudpes]

since she is back, i will cut my hours with him

This isn't the proper way. You keep your life as it is and fit her in it, don't make way. If you cut out anything, cut out the clutter and tennis with your friend is not it.

 

[pyros]

You're going backwards. Instead of escalating in each date, you're doing the opposite. Now you do not even kiss her in the lips, great job...

I think this relationship will go nowhere, ie, no sex land --> girl tells you to better be just friends.

 

[wishyo]

As for my time, I very busy mon-Friday(Friday sometimes is half day). So weekend are only days I can meet her. My friend was coming over around 1pm on sat and would leave around 3pm on Sunday.. There is no freaking way to meet her w/o cutting his hours. There is no clutter I can cut off, should I quit working? Lol
Pyros, I am reminding you she is 17, she is virgin, she is Russian, there is nonfreaking say to escalate things. In fact, I won't escalate sh1t. She will do it. I am not looking to just fvck her, I like her and so far id rather go for ltr.
As for kissing, I am not sure about this either. I have reread anti dump stuff yesterday and he mentioned about him being not pushy making a girl wonder or guess when the kiss will come or will it ever?
One thing I know is that she clearly has interest

 

[pyros]

It does not matter if she's 17. Im just warning you that if you keep spending time together without any physical escalation (making out for example), you may end up being friendzoned.

Its not her job to escalate, it is yours. If she did it would be nice, but not the case.

You say she's young, she's russian....ok...girls nowadays are not so naive as you may think, any girl. Im not saying she's a who-re or anything, but NOT SO NAIVE.

 

[Kailex]

In fact, I won't escalate sh1t. She will do it. I am not looking to just fvck her, I like her and so far id rather go for ltr.

You are doing it wrong.
It doesn't matter if she is a virgin or not a virgin. Doing it the way you described is doing it backwards. You NEED to escalate. If she is a virgin, she is NOT going to escalate because she doesn't "know" how yet. How can you expect her to take things further when she supposedly hasn't before?

Do you really expect someone to just ride a bike and run the Tour de France when they haven't even used training wheels first?

By taking the LTR route vs the Sex route, you are taking the Friendzone route. You have her on a pedestal merely because she is a virgin.

I've gone out with virgins and never for a second did I supress my sexuality in favor of a "greater goal".

You want to be the guy who oozes sexuality and if she doesn't like that, that's HER problem and not yours.

 

[10postlimit]

typo lol

 

[MattTheW]

As for my time, I very busy mon-Friday(Friday sometimes is half day). So weekend are only days I can meet her. My friend was coming over around 1pm on sat and would leave around 3pm on Sunday.. There is no freaking way to meet her w/o cutting his hours. There is no clutter I can cut off, should I quit working? Lol

Busy with what?
Work only takes up so much of the day
Personally I have a good 5 hours a day after work to do things, I hit the gym and then do social things every evening mon-fri.......

I meet my mates on Saturday and sunday for a few hours each day and still fit other things in around this.....I don't compromise the gym and I don't compromise my weekend time with my mates (unless its for family)

Pyros, I am reminding you she is 17, she is virgin, she is Russian, there is nonfreaking say to escalate things. In fact, I won't escalate sh1t. She will do it. I am not looking to just fvck her, I like her and so far id rather go for ltr.

I personally have no problem with you going for the LTR option here, but with respect to the escalation, YOU have to escalate....she's inexperienced, and probably too scared to try anything on a more experienced person.....to not escalate will eventually lead to moving backwards and as such close to the friendzone........

As for kissing, I am not sure about this either. I have reread anti dump stuff yesterday and he mentioned about him being not pushy making a girl wonder or guess when the kiss will come or will it ever?
One thing I know is that she clearly has interest

It's not the no kiss coming that they like, it's the linger before, look them in the eyes and then go in once they've locked in on you. or even come in close as if you are going to kiss them and then whisper something in their ear.....

Just doing nothing gets you nowhere - you have to build the tension for it have any effect.......