Turning into that guy I want to be.

[gyrahf]

You seem to have an active lifestyle with sports & music going on. In school just talk to a kid or two around you during class, ask them about the homework or something about an upcoming sporting event at school. If you're on the wrestling team or going to be you build friends that way because there's a lot of support there from your team mates, no matter if they like you or not.

Something I've seen with people is that they try too hard to get people to like them. They constantly talk and add useless information to conversations. I prefer to stay quiet most of the time and just add something funny instead of "Yea' man, me too!", **** like that doesn't help the conversations or whatever. You seem to be a smart guy so social skills shouldn't be an issue once you get past the first step. Perhaps the kids around you are below your level of intelligence and you have no one to speak with and all. The best advice I can give you for now is just talk to kids in class that sit around you. If you that and develop a sort of friendship perhaps you'll sit at their lunch table or something in two or three weeks. From then you'll meet the other kids at the table and all. Girls usually come and talk to guys during lunch, at least at my school they do. You might meet a girl or two that way simply by saying "Hey" when they come up. They might even say "hey" to you if they're friendly and haven't seen you before. Best of luck.

 

[MrConfidence]

You seem to have an active lifestyle with sports & music going on. In school just talk to a kid or two around you during class, ask them about the homework or something about an upcoming sporting event at school. If you're on the wrestling team or going to be you build friends that way because there's a lot of support there from your team mates, no matter if they like you or not.

Something I've seen with people is that they try too hard to get people to like them. They constantly talk and add useless information to conversations. I prefer to stay quiet most of the time and just add something funny instead of "Yea' man, me too!", **** like that doesn't help the conversations or whatever. You seem to be a smart guy so social skills shouldn't be an issue once you get past the first step. Perhaps the kids around you are below your level of intelligence and you have no one to speak with and all. The best advice I can give you for now is just talk to kids in class that sit around you. If you that and develop a sort of friendship perhaps you'll sit at their lunch table or something in two or three weeks. From then you'll meet the other kids at the table and all. Girls usually come and talk to guys during lunch, at least at my school they do. You might meet a girl or two that way simply by saying "Hey" when they come up. They might even say "hey" to you if they're friendly and haven't seen you before. Best of luck.

No trust me man, I've had past experiences with most of my team mates, and we just don't get along well. And in my classes, I pretty much don't get along with people much either(I have 2 classes with almost of the same exact people, and 1 class, with some of those people from my other classes, but with more kids). Or maybe I shouldn't say that I don't get along with the people, it's just that we're not all buddy buddy like, and I wouldn't consider them as real friends. Like, I don't have problems with most of the people, but we're just not friends. So no, class really isn't a great place to meet people for me, besides, I've already talked to most of the people in my classes at one point, or had them in another class. However, I could still try to meet people in band(I know most people in band on a first name basis, but haven't really gotten to know most people). There are some cool people in my squad who I sometimes talk to, perhaps I could get to know them better.

 

[we all eat food]

viper whats ur phone number i wanna call u

 

[MrConfidence]

viper whats ur phone number i wanna call u

You got AIM or MSN? And even if you did, I don't that would help. Ah, another day, and no success, however, I did get compliments on my suit(I had to dress all business like for this business-related program I'm in at another school.).

 

[Void]

...viper..

I do always feel really bad for you when i see these posts.


Because

You

Never

Attempt

To

Change.




Have you noticed this?

You seem to recognize the problem, but when someone calls you out on it in another post you say "NO."

You seem to have a deep self esteem issue.

The way I got over a couple self esteem/confidence issues (there really quite similar), is by thinking why do other people deserve a good life and I don't?

I became an *******/ douchebag for awhile sometimes bullying people for fun but in the end I dumbed down.

Really, please, do not make another thread until you address this issue with PROOF.

Notice the capitalized PROOF.

Please no more just "I tried to make friends...cough mentally."

Physically no more I lose mentally to myself because that's just a waste of mental stress for you and us here at SS. :nono:

pfft GL.:yes:

P.s. don't meet people in band if u want hot girls.

p.p.s. i own at wrestling.

 

[we all eat food]

yo just do it already, stop sitting on the fence. your wasting your life.

 

[gyrahf]

Well - then talk to the girls in band.

Talk to everyone you can, get along or not. Change your attitude and look at them with a new level. If you want to pick-up girls you need to learn how to adapt to situations, and if you don't try it then why bother asking for the help. You can't just stay inside your comfort-zone and hope that you get the results you seem to be looking for.

I'm going to guess that you're around 5'7, 180-200lbs, some acne, stay inside a lot. How off am I?

 

[MrConfidence]

Void is off the scale

...viper..

I do always feel really bad for you when i see these posts.


Because

You

Never

Attempt

To

Change.

Not true, I tried to change by starting to approach girls again, but every approach I've made has been a failure, or never really got anywhere.

Well - then talk to the girls in band.

Talk to everyone you can, get along or not. Change your attitude and look at them with a new level. If you want to pick-up girls you need to learn how to adapt to situations, and if you don't try it then why bother asking for the help. You can't just stay inside your comfort-zone and hope that you get the results you seem to be looking for.

I'm going to guess that you're around 5'7, 180-200lbs, some acne, stay inside a lot. How off am I?

Not really, I'm 5'9, I am around 180 lbs, however, I don't have acne, and I don't stay inside a lot. Didn't I mention that I was in wrestling, and marching band?

 

[gyrahf]

Wrestling is an inside sport... no matter though.

You're in shape, you don't have acne, your biggest problem is talking to people. As you've shunned off basically all suggestions that were given to go talk to people, why don't you meet people who you find interesting? And you know how you do that? You go out and talk to people. No matter what you say, you're going to have to go out at one point or another and actually talk to people.

Based on my looks people stereotype me constantly, once I meet them their opinion is completely changed and they're intrigued by me instead of being put off. I do that by socializing through several circles.

So go talk to someone, anyone except the people on this forum. You need person to person interaction. Next time you post tell us how you approached someone and struck up a conversation instead of "This won't work, these people don't like me".

 

[Raikojo17]

Not true, I tried to change by starting to approach girls again, but every approach I've made has been a failure, or never really got anywhere.]


Confidence, man. listen to the dudes on this site. they kno wat they're talkin about. the only person who can make change for you is YOU. we cant do that for you. maybe you should hold off on the girls until you get better at talkin to people dont jump in for the big fish right away. maybe you should look outside of school, jus for random people to talk to. talk with them, it doesnt matter the age or anything. jus talk to them. you'll find that you get practice and if they judge you, chances are that you'll never see them again anyway. so you have no reason to be scared of them. same goes with girls. look outside of school and talk to them. the worst they can do is say no. is getting rejected gonna kill you? didnt think so. wat have u tried already to approach girls?

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

viper youre a fag. you keep trying to prove everybody wrong by saying what they say is wrong. you never respond to people that give you good advice... like me. but, you always respond to the people who give you "bad" advice... and keep telling them they're wrong.

you are a fag.

oh what? are you going to go crazy now and start getting pissed off again? -- like all of your other threads.

the only reason you wont go crazy now is because i already called you out on it.

quit being gay.

 

[Sebastien_Valmont]

The answer is simple. Get really drunk, then see how much you care about what people think of you.

Repeat until you have the same mentality sober that you do at a party.

 

[Ironwill]

Confidence comes from within, from you.
Don't expect to wake up and feel confident, you build it up slowly, every change you do in the right direction gives you strenght, confidence and courage.
You have to DO something, TAKE ACTION!
REAL confidence is knowing who YOU ARE, knowing where you want to go and doing it.

By knowing who you are, who you were and who you want to be, you'll never be alone.
The biggest changes come from pain mixed with a strong will or desire, have you reached the point where you can't take it anymore? Or do you simply say I would like to change myself......or maybe not?
If you are not sure, then you are not worthy of this confidence.

Option 1, post more ,live your life how it has always been, waste your life.......
Option 2, became who you want to be.

Don't ask how, you acutally know it, you just don't want to accept it that you CAN, that you allready know enough.
SO stop wasting our time.......take your choice, NOW!!!!!!

Edit: ''Not true, I tried to change by starting to approach girls again, but every approach I've made has been a failure, or never really got anywhere''

That's all your desire has to offer? You gave up THIS EARLY?Dude **** failure, the person who encounters failure, learns from it AND keeps on going, is the person who can archieve anything.

From weak desire comes weak results.....what did you expect?Trying half assed and giving up isn't going to get you anywhere.

 

[GaryUranga]

MrConfience, I know where youre coming from, been there, the prob isnt outside, you need to work on yourself a bit first and undo some beliefs in your brain.. first of you really need to stop telling people "trust me it doesnt work" and realize that because of that same line of thinking youre not helping yourself or helpng others help you, dude, seriously, pm me, I think I can help you.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

quit trying to help this kid. you can't help yourself if you don't really want to. he doesn't want to... he just wants a pity party.

 

[MrConfidence]

Confidence comes from within, from you.
Don't expect to wake up and feel confident, you build it up slowly, every change you do in the right direction gives you strenght, confidence and courage.
You have to DO something, TAKE ACTION!
REAL confidence is knowing who YOU ARE, knowing where you want to go and doing it.

By knowing who you are, who you were and who you want to be, you'll never be alone.
The biggest changes come from pain mixed with a strong will or desire, have you reached the point where you can't take it anymore? Or do you simply say I would like to change myself......or maybe not?
If you are not sure, then you are not worthy of this confidence.

Option 1, post more ,live your life how it has always been, waste your life.......
Option 2, became who you want to be.

Don't ask how, you acutally know it, you just don't want to accept it that you CAN, that you allready know enough.
SO stop wasting our time.......take your choice, NOW!!!!!!

Edit: ''Not true, I tried to change by starting to approach girls again, but every approach I've made has been a failure, or never really got anywhere''

That's all your desire has to offer? You gave up THIS EARLY?Dude **** failure, the person who encounters failure, learns from it AND keeps on going, is the person who can archieve anything.

From weak desire comes weak results.....what did you expect?Trying half assed and giving up isn't going to get you anywhere.

Good post, I think once I overcome my own inner problems, I'll get better than women. I'm thinking to myself "Why is a cool guy like me afraid to approach girls?" and that's probably the reason. For instance, there's this named Abby in band I wanted to approach on the bus, but you know what? I couldn't do it because of my own inner fears. It's my own damned inner fear that's keeping me from approaching people. In reality, there's no wall that's keeping me from approaching the girl, but in my mind, my own personal fears keep me from approaching women. I've got to get over these damned personal fears, I mean come on, I do sports, I play 4 instruments, I can program, I'm smart, but I can't approach women? That seems a little ridoculous.

And f*ck off, Michele l'Fagangelo, if you're going to post anything useful, don't post at all.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

i believe i did post something useful. i'm helping the new members know who they shouldnt even bother helping.

and like i said... youre going to act like you always do in your other threads when someone bashes on you.

havent you realized that you arent cut out to have girls? you might as well turn gay and go for guys with your same problem.

quit making posts about the SAME exact thing. i used to be one of your supporters... if you remember i used to go by MikeS.

grow up. you need to get over yourself. really. you need to get some balls and do things youre afraid to do.

 

[shadowfox]

Try this if you want to DEVELOP confidence over time...

Go out once a week to a mall or downtown somewhere, maybe a bit out from where you are so you wont spot anyone you know and then just force yourself to

a) apply 3 second rule and approach the next girl you see in 3 seconds.
b) do it and approach
c) talk and talk and talk until she says fvck off! na she wont say fvck off but just talk, surely there was a time in your life when you where once in a very talkative mood and wouldn't shut up this is what i want you to do with strangers so you get comfortable with talking to woman and basicly people in general.
d) finally after say 5 minutes you ask for a number and then eject. YOU MUST DO THIS TO GET OVER A FEAR OF REJECTION!
e) and you do this again and again for 25x at the least, one day, each week.

BELIVE me this is effective. First 10 aproaches will be very hard and and you will get bad responses because they will think your a nut job because you will come across as nervous but dont worry you wont ever see these people ever again so it doesnt matter. But after each approach you will get more and more comfortable and you will start to think hey this isnt so bad afer all and wow im appraching random chicks downtown!!! and then the girls responses pick up and then we get a snowball effect.

After 4 weeks and 100 approaches to complete strangers, you will be so comfortable talking to people you will wonder what the fvck you've been doing for the last 10 years and realise it is so easy. This will translate to school as you become a much more confident person...

So try this whats the worst that could happen?

Edit:

I see you want to improve your inner game, thats what i thought once and i read and read thinking something would click and i would become this master don juan. Well the truth is inner game stuff on this site is useless and doesn't work. You develop your inner game and find your true self by going out into the field and finding out yourself what works this is 10000000000x more effective.

 

[BBX]

Try this if you want to DEVELOP confidence over time...

Go out once a week to a mall or downtown somewhere, maybe a bit out from where you are so you wont spot anyone you know and then just force yourself to

a) apply 3 second rule and approach the next girl you see in 3 seconds.
b) do it and approach
c) talk and talk and talk until she says fvck off! na she wont say fvck off but just talk, surely there was a time in your life when you where once in a very talkative mood and wouldn't shut up this is what i want you to do with strangers so you get comfortable with talking to woman and basicly people in general.
d) finally after say 5 minutes you ask for a number and then eject. YOU MUST DO THIS TO GET OVER A FEAR OF REJECTION!
e) and you do this again and again for 25x at the least, one day, each week.

BELIVE me this is effective. First 10 aproaches will be very hard and and you will get bad responses because they will think your a nut job because you will come across as nervous but dont worry you wont ever see these people ever again so it doesnt matter. But after each approach you will get more and more comfortable and you will start to think hey this isnt so bad afer all and wow im appraching random chicks downtown!!! and then the girls responses pick up and then we get a snowball effect.

After 4 weeks and 100 approaches to complete strangers, you will be so comfortable talking to people you will wonder what the fvck you've been doing for the last 10 years and realise it is so easy. This will translate to school as you become a much more confident person...

So try this whats the worst that could happen?

Edit:

I see you want to improve your inner game, thats what i thought once and i read and read thinking something would click and i would become this master don juan. Well the truth is inner game stuff on this site is useless and doesn't work. You develop your inner game and find your true self by going out into the field and finding out yourself what works this is 10000000000x more effective.

STOP! At the point where he is, this is way toooo much for him to grasp at first and hes not gonna do it.

Start off smaller than that, go up to as many HB's you can at the mall or whatever and ask for the time. Do it over and over and over, any hb you can, just walk up and say do you have the time. After that you can do the same thing and maybe make a comment about their watch or phone or whatever they got the time from. Asking about the phone is golden. If she isn't in a rush and your somewhat good looking you can get something going. If you can't push yourself to ask an hb for the time, please die.

 

[shadowfox]

By doing it the way i said, he would be attacking his problem very well. He would be blasting way out of his comfort zone and will improve VERY quickly, which is what he wants right? The girls he would be opening would be people he would never see ever again they wouldn't matter.

SO THIS IS TO YOU MRCONFIDENCE; HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT THIS?

you have to really want this, you would have to completely set your ego aside and be willing to take rejection and be willing to do whatever it takes, it takes real EFFORT... only then will you improve.

You must realise mrconfidence some day you will die... think about it, dont go around life worried you maybe rejected by people, ENJOY IT AND LIVE IT TO THE FULL!!! go out and approach the girls and have a laugh about it later...

If you think my way is too tough sure, take BBX advice and slowly advance over the weeks but eventually you will need to be at where I am trying to get you at which is regularly approaching woman and asking for numbers. I'll be intrested to hear what you have to say about this 'plan' to get you out of your comfort zone and yeh 'If you can't push yourself to ask an hb for the time, please die.'