Trying to "mold" her

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I am creating some extremes, specifically to better understand how to establish them.

Let's put it some other way then, so you understand what I mean with 'establish boundaries/standards right at the beginning':

You have a hot new lover.

She starts sucking your penis, but she really sucks at fellatio.

When will you tell her you want her to fellate your penis the way you like it?

 

[jhonny9546]

The example is not clear because You react to her actions; you don't establish them in advance. If she is not good at performing oral sex, then you react by establishing a standard by telling her how to do it. The next time, she will perform better.

But what happens if she cheats on you? You cannot establish boundaries after the fact.