Exactly, now is NOT the time for him to get bent out of shape over the wedding ring at work. He needs to do everything he can to support and encourage her to get those debts paid off. As long as she is actively working on paying those off it would be stupid for him to leave because he most likely WILL have to be equally responsible for the debt...even if it's not in his name. If he expects to end the relationship he should do it wisely and with minimum long term impact on his future. He needs to be smart and all of you guys who are only worried about his pride or respect need to dig your heads out of your butts...his wallet is the major concern here...and he needs to protect it. He'll get over the pride and respect thing as soon as he is out the door, but it could take years to get over the impact this could have on his finances. Think for crying out loud...REALLY think.Vulpine said:
Trouble with wife 2
- Thread starter danny62
- Start date
He said she is working for both. He just added the wedding part of it later. Either way...by getting the job it will prevent her from running the debt up even more. In the right establishment, a waitress can make A LOT of money. It's in his best interest that he cool his jets and let her get things paid off before he leaves.Latinoman said:
Wyldfire said:
She has a history of being bad with money. His other thread stated that. And her vehicle getting retaken from her due to debts is another indication. Now the 8,000 dollars credit cards (interest rates are killers).
And now a wedding???
She could be prostituting herself...and STILL will have issues paying those cards. Heck, I am in the six salary figure, and a debt like that could be very hard to pay on the spot without me deeping into my savings.
She is in her 40s. She is NOT going to change.
Good point...Latinoman said:
People who are so bad with money that they get into deep debt will be bad at using their money to get out of debt. Something tells me that the extra money she plans on making by not wearing her wedding ring will just go toward more meaningless stuff like jewelry, clothes, new purse, shoes, body lotions, ice cream, manicures (hell, you're hands gotta look good too if you want good tips), hair treatments, etc, etc.
Maybe the better solution would be to risk making less in tips, and use that precious income toward the debts ONLY. It's much easier to make excuses to buy more stuff for yourself when there's a little surplus.
Problem solved. She wears the ring.
P.S.
I would advise you to not listen to advise by any female regarding this issue. We all know why.
What about if HE (as a husband and a man that should be leading her) come with a financial PLAN (not giving money, but helping her manage HER money) in how she can pay all those card debts within a 12 or 18 month mark.
And then offer to take her money and put that money in the bank to assure that she is paying a considerably amount of the credit cards debt. Heck, perhaps she can call the credit card company or come with some kind of paying plan or even make some kind of "12-month zero interest loan" or something like that and pay those cards...and then try to pay that loan before it starts gaining interest.
Maybe he can help her UNDERSTAND how to manage her money better as she is obviously very ignorant (or simply don't care) and see if she truly tries.
I guarrantee you that if she USES all that extra cash to pay those credit cards...that her "ring off" thing will go away. In fact, the "waitress job" thing will also go away. As I suspect, she wants to make extra cash to pay the MOST minimum of the credit cards and use the extra cash for more expenses (and that way avoid using the card).
In a nutshell...she might not want to use the credit cards anymore...and she might not want to pay them off either (paying minimum payments are NOT going to do it). All she might want is make extra cash to buy stuff in cash for her.
And then offer to take her money and put that money in the bank to assure that she is paying a considerably amount of the credit cards debt. Heck, perhaps she can call the credit card company or come with some kind of paying plan or even make some kind of "12-month zero interest loan" or something like that and pay those cards...and then try to pay that loan before it starts gaining interest.
Maybe he can help her UNDERSTAND how to manage her money better as she is obviously very ignorant (or simply don't care) and see if she truly tries.
I guarrantee you that if she USES all that extra cash to pay those credit cards...that her "ring off" thing will go away. In fact, the "waitress job" thing will also go away. As I suspect, she wants to make extra cash to pay the MOST minimum of the credit cards and use the extra cash for more expenses (and that way avoid using the card).
In a nutshell...she might not want to use the credit cards anymore...and she might not want to pay them off either (paying minimum payments are NOT going to do it). All she might want is make extra cash to buy stuff in cash for her.
Last Man Standing
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Your wife is taking away your manhood!!! Or should I say that "you" are taking away your manhood!! It is painful every time I see this - but it seems to be the norm today - the cat chasing the dog!!danny62 said:
An odd looking sight it is!!!
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I would not even argue with that. It will just embolden her and make her think you're an insecure chump. Also, if she "agrees" to wear the ring, she'll just take it off when she gets to work. My advice would be for you to encourage her to not wear the ring. Tell her that it turns you on to think of her getting all those tips from chumps who think they have a shot with her. Tell her you think she's sexy going out there waitressing. tell her that she should not wear panties when she does it, etc. Give her all the freedom she never asked for and pretty soon she won't want it.
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penkitten
Master Don Juan
wrender , why is the advise i gave bad (just because im a female?)wrender said:
here is what i said on page 2:
penkitten said:
Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Actually, I wasn't referring to your comment, but to most females in general. In fact I didn't even catch your post as I tried to quickly read through the thread. I don't generally recommend that anyone here take advise from their female friends and associates regarding what's dicussed at this site. By virtue of your recent and previous posts here you have proven to be the exception to the rule. However, since you've been a member of this community for quite a while, you probably understand that most men would agree with me on this.penkitten said:
I know, I know... I said "I would advise you to not listen to advise by any female regarding this issue." It's easier than saying "I would advise you to seek the opinion of qualified women who have proven to have an objective understanding of relationship dynamics" Too much trial and error involved in that pursuit.