Top 10 Reasons Women Avoid Marriage

[bigneil]

To be told by a fat women that she has a boyfriend is the worst indignation a man can suffer through.

Indeed, that would as bad as a broke man telling a woman he has a girlfriend.

 

[BeExcellent]

For 10 years



Who will be there to love you in your dying days? Going on 100 dates a year doesn't make you happy. Serendipity is what makes women happy. This is why feminists are doomed. They can talk all they want about guys superficially dating them. But who will put up with them when they are in their 50's and 60's?

The key to serendipity is not when you have only 1 option. The key to serendipity is when you have abundance. That is when your ultimate options show up. What most women do is they pass up on these options because they think life will always be this way. Then when they hit the wall, they yearn for the "one that got away."

This is literally every woman I know. Their peak options (when it comes to romance and love) came to them when they were in their early 20's. YET women are taught by feminism to go out and get a career and play "sex and the city" during this time! And it's ALL downhill from there...unless you are counting guys being superficially into you (pump and dump).

I know because I run into these women who've lost their bargaining power all the time. They are still attractive but cannot get a man to commit. Do you know what they do? Trade sex for love/validation. I take the sex, and ghost. And these women always text me "So who am I to you?" two days later. Still delusional these women are.

Golden rule of DJ: Never commit to a post-prime woman no matter how attractive she still is. She must pay for her feminist hubris when she took everything for granted (and played sex and the city) during her prime years. Follow standard pump and dump protocol.

First of all I'm not a "feminist". So all the silly comments about feminism you have projected on me are moot since I'm not that person.

Why does my success bother y'all so much? That's what I find interesting. It seems to really bug you guys, so much so that you resort to name calling. Nothing anyone here says defines my reality at all but you guys keep saying what I experience is as I've stated cannot be possible. Um. It IS.

I'm neither indiscriminate with men nor a feminist. I'm successful yes, but I like a man who leads in relationship. That most men are unworthy of leading me doesn't change the fact that I'm a great woman for the type of man I prefer.

I come from the Midwest, most women at 47 have let themselves go after having kids

I realize I'm an outlier in my age group. I don't dispute that at all. This is much of the reason for my desirability in fact. I run, walk, swim, play soccer, lift, do high intensity interval training or some sort of physical exercise every day and have done so my entire adult life. I was a track, cross-country and soccer athlete in high school; soccer in college. I'm still in good enough shape to play 2 hours of soccer several times a week on top of regular workouts. So I retain a slender & athletic build. I also dance latin and ballroom and have a dancer's body type with a full natural bust if you want a "type" that I look like.

The fact that so many women my age got lazy about maintaining a fit slender body, and also allowed the sun to ruin their skin, and dye jobs to ruin their hair means there are that many more men in my preferred age range who appreciate a woman who is still youthful and in great shape AND who has similar life experience & wisdom. Men whose wives got fat or frumpy; women who failed to please & desire their man sexually, those guys get divorced and appreciate a woman who looks good who they relate to.

Who will love me as I lie dying? God and myself for starters, my children and grandchildren (if I have some) my friends that are still alive, my family. If that question is supposed to shame me or make me afraid? It doesn't.

Rather it exposes your fears, @da dynamically which I do not suffer from.

I'm happy. How many dates I do or don't have has no bearing on my happiness. I accept dates with men I think are worth spending time with. I enjoy the time spent because I enjoy getting to know people.

Literally....how do you cherry pick a winner from all those prime men. How do you date so many winners and have high regard for so many of them, but they're just drops in the bucket basically.

Like @zekko and others have said repeatedly the qualities that are "Givens" in your personal set of requirements are merely what get you in the door or out on a date. My looks and physical appearance are good enough for men to notice me. But both for men or for women once you are out on the date you start screening for whatever criteria you want and you rule out people based on criteria you don't want (red flags). You have to screen. I'm on the fence about the hockey player for example, because of his drinking habits, and his behavior when he's been drinking. I also usually prefer men who are already fathers (they understand parenting and its demands.) I'll decide as I spend time with him whether or not he's LTR material. I'm sure he'll do the same where I'm concerned. That's the way you sort people.

Those of you so focused on me (when there is nothing you can do or say that changes or affects my reality) need to refocus on yourselves. My message here is about improving to be the best man you are capable of being. I understand curiosity about me being here but when you asking me questions for the express purpose of then telling me that I am wrong or delusional in my own life, it's laughable and actually makes the projector look like he is lacking somehow in his own life. Work on your own lack.

I'm an internally validated person. Work on becoming that too and your life will have abundance as a result.

 

[zekko]

second they are all rich, also another quality that says they are not solid men

What?

I will allow that a man who has his eyes on higher spiritual things might give away all his money and remain poor. But a man who is seeking a wife still has to provide materially for her. In this case we are talking about SMV, and financial security does count for something there. I doubt that a man on such a higher spiritual plane would be concerned with DJs or spinning plates.

 

[BeExcellent]

I think almost all who she listed if not ALL who she listed had only daughters!

Wrong, many have sons as well as daughters. Several have ONLY sons. So at least read thoroughly. A number of the men listed are deeply committed to their religious values, but I didn't feel that was necessary to list other than the Jewish gentleman who I dated a while. He has 2 teens. 2 sons and a daughter. Daughter is the middle child. So there goes that assertion. The gentleman I was out with last night is a Christian man. I assure you these are men who would be trying to set your daughters up with.

 

[bigneil]

So basically, BeExcellent is dating a wealthier version of James Bond (and by coincidence just met him and had her first date last night, on her 3132nd day - overcoming 99.9976% odds). Her message is simple. Her SMV has NEVER declined one iota (she won't dare discuss that if it were true), and any woman under age 48 with less than 3 kids is simply too good for most men here.

 

[ManlyMichael]

What?

I will allow that a man who has his eyes on higher spiritual things might give away all his money and remain poor. But a man who is seeking a wife still has to provide materially for her. In this case we are talking about SMV, and financial security does count for something there. I doubt that a man on such a higher spiritual plane would be concerned with DJs or spinning plates.

Providing for a family and wife doesn't mean you need to be rich like the men she described, and the book of James clearly knocks riches down by saying "those who will(desire) to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and many foolish and hurtful lusts which drown men in perdition(war)

No beExcellent might have caught me slipping in not reading thoroughly, that she got me on. But as I consider you a sister regardless, you are as one who the apostles were talking about, your desire for success and wealth has led you to temptation of hurtful lusts etc. I was that man for sure and war almost took my soul. I don't wish that on any one else, it's hard to look back and see how much effort you put in to gain no love, this life is tough and it sure has made me to consider a woman's sensitivity, even now I don't think I consider it enough. Many of you men on here are complaining over small things and it shows that you need to learn to be thankful..... don't be a spoiled kid who complains when a few things go wrong, and then Forget the many other good things in your life. Just accept the issue and work on it. Does it make sense for a farmer who raised ten thousand crops to whine and complain when a ten of them got ruined? That's many men today. And not today only, but it's been like that since the beginning.

 

[Urbanyst]

First of all I'm not a "feminist". So all the silly comments about feminism you have projected on me are moot since I'm not that person.

Why does my success bother y'all so much? That's what I find interesting. It seems to really bug you guys, so much so that you resort to name calling. Nothing anyone here says defines my reality at all but you guys keep saying what I experience is as I've stated cannot be possible. Um. It IS.

I'm neither indiscriminate with men nor a feminist. I'm successful yes, but I like a man who leads in relationship. That most men are unworthy of leading me doesn't change the fact that I'm a great woman for the type of man I prefer.

I realize I'm an outlier in my age group. I don't dispute that at all. This is much of the reason for my desirability in fact. I run, walk, swim, play soccer, lift, do high intensity interval training or some sort of physical exercise every day and have done so my entire adult life. I was a track, cross-country and soccer athlete in high school; soccer in college. I'm still in good enough shape to play 2 hours of soccer several times a week on top of regular workouts. So I retain a slender & athletic build. I also dance latin and ballroom and have a dancer's body type with a full natural bust if you want a "type" that I look like.

The fact that so many women my age got lazy about maintaining a fit slender body, and also allowed the sun to ruin their skin, and dye jobs to ruin their hair means there are that many more men in my preferred age range who appreciate a woman who is still youthful and in great shape AND who has similar life experience & wisdom. Men whose wives got fat or frumpy; women who failed to please & desire their man sexually, those guys get divorced and appreciate a woman who looks good who they relate to.

Who will love me as I lie dying? God and myself for starters, my children and grandchildren (if I have some) my friends that are still alive, my family. If that question is supposed to shame me or make me afraid? It doesn't.

Rather it exposes your fears, @da dynamically which I do not suffer from.

I'm happy. How many dates I do or don't have has no bearing on my happiness. I accept dates with men I think are worth spending time with. I enjoy the time spent because I enjoy getting to know people.

Like @zekko and others have said repeatedly the qualities that are "Givens" in your personal set of requirements are merely what get you in the door or out on a date. My looks and physical appearance are good enough for men to notice me. But both for men or for women once you are out on the date you start screening for whatever criteria you want and you rule out people based on criteria you don't want (red flags). You have to screen. I'm on the fence about the hockey player for example, because of his drinking habits, and his behavior when he's been drinking. I also usually prefer men who are already fathers (they understand parenting and its demands.) I'll decide as I spend time with him whether or not he's LTR material. I'm sure he'll do the same where I'm concerned. That's the way you sort people.

Those of you so focused on me (when there is nothing you can do or say that changes or affects my reality) need to refocus on yourselves. My message here is about improving to be the best man you are capable of being. I understand curiosity about me being here but when you asking me questions for the express purpose of then telling me that I am wrong or delusional in my own life, it's laughable and actually makes the projector look like he is lacking somehow in his own life. Work on your own lack.

I'm an internally validated person. Work on becoming that too and your life will have abundance as a result.

But the question remains of WHAT are you trying to accomplish by wh0ring around with high VALUE men.. then rejecting them before the relationship goes anywhere serious (or are they rejecting YOU)?

Attention? Validation? Sex? What is your goal exactly?

You would gain more credibility if you would stop ducking uncomfortable questions lol.

 

[bigneil]

But the question remains of WHAT are you trying to accomplish by wh0ring around with high VALUE men.. then rejecting them before the relationship goes anywhere serious (or are they rejecting YOU)?

Attention? Validation? Sex? What is your goal exactly?

You would gain more credibility if you would stop ducking uncomfortable questions lol.

BeExcellent is simply trying to undo my dating 20 year old strippers with her 45 year old millionaire doctor stories. Is anyone else questioning her "I make as much as bigneil" story? Or even whether that's not really her in her photo?

Needle off record: even as a 47 year old man, I'll admit my SMV has gone down. BeExcellent however, despite being a woman (with a 16 year standard SMV adjustment factor - meaning she should have admitted this about one month prior to 9/11), is in denial that her SMV may have also declined. Is BeExcellent an inside job?

 

[BeExcellent]

But the question remains of WHAT are you trying to accomplish by wh0ring around with high VALUE men.. then rejecting them before the relationship goes anywhere serious (or are they rejecting YOU)?

Attention? Validation? Sex? What is your goal exactly?

You would gain more credibility if you would stop ducking uncomfortable questions lol.

Well since I'm not "wh0ring" around by any definition I disagree with your premise.

I mean you guys are all about pump & dumps and sex early on which I avoid entirely. How? Wait to get to know someone and many dates & interactions before getting physical. Simple. Even if I find him sexy. A smart woman exhibits self control.

If he kisses me? Sure. It's a kiss. It's not a make out session and it's certainly not sex or petting/groping or anything close. A good kiss is like the movement of a good dancer. It tells you whether or not you'd like things to develop further. It also tells me the man is interested physically IF things develop. A good kiss has an intimate quality.

I enjoy social interaction I like people and good company. I don't have a fixed agenda. Maybe you think that is attention seeking. I prefer to be out going places & doing things either alone, with friends or with a gentleman whose company I appreciate. You can curl up in your room and be by yourself all the time or you can go do things. I get out & go places.

Most of the time I cut contact if I don't like a man. Most of the time I get asked out again. Not always, but most of the time. It's a selection process. Sometimes interactions are naturally comfortable, other times less so. That's not news.

I'm not 25. Obviously. I said in this thread I was a solid 9+ in my twenties. I think I'm an 8 now. Still very attractive. But also doing well across the board. There are very few really pretty women at my age who are unattached and have their life together. Those of us who do have choices.

It's not rocket science. It's funny all the attention you guys are paying me here.

Nobody answered MY question. Which is:

Why does my success bug you so much? Hmmmmm?

 

[ManlyMichael]

This is what I meant by complaining about small things.... just handle your business and avoid talking if it's too much arguing, we are online we aren't even in the same states lol,

Snap out of it and wake up

 

[bigneil]

Why does my success bug you so much? Hmmmmm?

Sorry, but success comes with lots of failure, and your rose-colored-glasses outlook is obviously not based on reality. For example, I outlined dating a gorgeous 20 year old girl - and also the pain of breaking up with her. You, however have nothing but James Bond dates that all go perfectly. One after another.

And oh the hypocrisy as I date girls your daughter's age while you clench your fist and grind your teeth. I only had to send you one PM to feel your wrath.

Go ahead pretending 48 year old women are just as hot as 18 year old women, after doing triple back flips in your campaign to prove that 18 year old men are much more desirable than 48 year old men (as long as junior ROTC's rich daddy cosigns at the country club). That may be your purpose here, but remember: you're only exposing how dishonest you are.

 

[bigneil]

Wait, is BeExcellent admitting that between age 24 and age 48, we only lose one point in our attractiveness? Even after 3 kids? Even though men are known to age more gracefully and even improve?

So if she went from a 9 to an 8, would it make sense that a man only loses one point, thus justifying younger women choosing him? Her theme has been "You old men have NO chance because women want men their OWN age DAMMIT!!". But if she is saying a woman only loses one point from age 24 and 48 (SMV graph says 8 points but...) wouldn't it make sense that men (who the SMV graph show as about the same between ages 24 and 48) also stay within 1 point? And thus, a young woman is SMART to choose a slightly less attractive man who makes $500K versus a prettier, unemployed man?

 

[ManlyMichael]

Attraction is 9 parts invisible and 1 part visible.... This whole sight posts stuff that agree .... attraction is verbal. I see woman that I use to be attracted to and now I have 0 attraction for 9/10 woman because I have a specific kind of girl in mind. It's an invisible thing, a dream, a goal, a lifestyle, if your attraction is physically based, you bedroom time is suffering, it's not going all in, you don't know what your capable of until you actually find a woman you want to live for

 

[bigneil]

WTF?

Can you spare us the crotch shot? Jesus f*cking Christ.

 

[bigneil]

I feel like I'm conducting an enema for a gay movie because I really need the money.

 

[BeExcellent]

I'm internally validated.

@da dynamically

You asked a question above who will love me when I'm old. Then you turned around and said I failed your Sh1t test. How sophomoric.

When you ask an open ended question there is not a "right" answer. You are not the arbiter of my answer.

My best girlfriend & I for years have joked that after we outlive our husbands (which is statistically what happens) we will be roommates in the old folks home, and we have a good laugh for we were roommates as coeds.

So the mistake I made was to think you were asking in earnest. Ah but you weren't, silly me. You were asking so you could then ridicule me. Alright. Fair enough.

Carry on.

 

[zekko]

Providing for a family and wife doesn't mean you need to be rich like the men she described, and the book of James clearly knocks riches down by saying "those who will(desire) to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and many foolish and hurtful lusts which drown men in perdition(war)

From Matthew 19: "Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

The rich can be justified by faith. Look at all of the Old Testament patriarchs. Most of them were wealthy and powerful men. They were rewarded for their righteousness with wealth, and they received their righteousness through faith.

Why does my success bug you so much? Hmmmmm?

Because it goes against PUA teaching, which says that women hit the wall at age 30, at which point they either enslave some poor beta, or become a desperate harridan. CMNILS87 said that most 47 year old women have let themselves go. If you have kept yourself fit and healthy, I see no reason why you would not still be able to attract men, especially if other women your age have "let themselves go". Posters here say that most guys of all ages have let themselves go, which means that a guy who keeps himself in shape is ahead of the game. I guess they don't want to think that the same principle might work for women.

That said, I do know older women who have stayed fit, but have still lost their looks. Women do age less well than men generally. But I also know older women who I consider to be very attractive.

PUA teaching also states that women are externally validated, so you crossed the line there too.

 

[Fruitbat]

This is a PUA forum and every thread is awash with biblical quotes and interpretation!

You people are crazy! Where are the quotes supporting playing the field and screwing around? I studied religion a fair bit and the ethos of Christianity is pretty anti this lifestyle. It's anti sechs before marriage, lusting after women, it's a commandment! or is it "pick it up and put it down" type religion, like how I sometimes like a bit of heavy metal but not all the time?

I'm an atheist who has spent his life trying to find one woman for one man. I'm still a bit blue pilled.

This is weird man Christians here live in their little communities and marry at like 18. I hope you can see the funny side to this without taking offence!

 

[Urbanyst]

Well since I'm not "wh0ring" around by any definition I disagree with your premise.

I mean you guys are all about pump & dumps and sex early on which I avoid entirely. How? Wait to get to know someone and many dates & interactions before getting physical. Simple. Even if I find him sexy. A smart woman exhibits self control.

If he kisses me? Sure. It's a kiss. It's not a make out session and it's certainly not sex or petting/groping or anything close. A good kiss is like the movement of a good dancer. It tells you whether or not you'd like things to develop further. It also tells me the man is interested physically IF things develop. A good kiss has an intimate quality.

I enjoy social interaction I like people and good company. I don't have a fixed agenda. Maybe you think that is attention seeking. I prefer to be out going places & doing things either alone, with friends or with a gentleman whose company I appreciate. You can curl up in your room and be by yourself all the time or you can go do things. I get out & go places.

Most of the time I cut contact if I don't like a man. Most of the time I get asked out again. Not always, but most of the time. It's a selection process. Sometimes interactions are naturally comfortable, other times less so. That's not news.

I'm not 25. Obviously. I said in this thread I was a solid 9+ in my twenties. I think I'm an 8 now. Still very attractive. But also doing well across the board. There are very few really pretty women at my age who are unattached and have their life together. Those of us who do have choices.

No way in hell you're an 8 lol.

So you're telling us you seek out high VALUE men for the sole purpose of bullsh*tting around and "hanging out"?

That's just French for attention/validation seeking. Nice try. Kissing several different men a month. Do you have herpes yet?

If sex isn't what you're after, nore a relationship.. why not just hang out with other women?

It's not rocket science. It's funny all the attention you guys are paying me here.

Isn't that what you're here for? Do you want it to stop?

Nobody answered MY question. Which is:

Why does my success bug you so much? Hmmmmm?

Saying "yes" to horny men is not success. By those standards.. I can claim success the next time I get friend zoned by a 10. Hey, at least she wants to keep talking to me right? LOL.

 

[Urbanyst]

Actually you are wrong. There IS a right answer!. Don't try to dodge it. It is not about who will love you, but the love you will give away. That is the masculine polarity. That is what I have experienced since puberty! That is the appropriate answer for every masculine guy. We have felt the conditions of the world. LMAO. Women KNOW that all love is fleeting. We have experienced it. I HAVE. And here you are, trying to fraud me just like sazc....lol. I am sorry baby girls.....But I have been to the rainbow and back. I have experienced everything. I do not speak about theories.....only experiences.....why havent I experienced about HB 10's that are 48 years old? It's because there IS no such thing.

ALL women are entitled when they are from 14-25 and sorry when they are 25+(I would know).

ALL interrelationships are trading sex for validation.

Most relationships are between two needy and neurotic people.

When the person "changed," they are actually being themselves.

A real relationship is two complete people sharing their completeness.

I am ashamed to admit this.....But I share this relationship more with men than with women!

@BeExcellent thinks she is an 8.

When she is 80 she will think she is a 7 lol.

She doesn't understand that horny men give attention to average looking women too. Look at what Arnold Schwarzenegger cheated on his wife with lol. She just doesn't get that attention from rich men doesn't mean you're all that hot. Just mean's they are all that horny.