To text a girl after a first date or not

[FlexpertHamilton]

I've heard conflicting advice on this. I still don't really have a strong opinion.

Most guys either say wait x number of days after the date, or will say to not text her at all and wait for her to contact you.

Let's say for the sake of discussion that she is clearly into you, and you had sex.

I would argue that if you do not text her at all, she may interpret it as a lack of interest. Also, consider that most women are very passive, they rarely take the initiative. Lastly, I am starting to think women have been so strongly "conditioned" by dealing with endless simps all the time, that they don't even know what a high value man acts like, hence your behavior may be misinterpreted by them.

On the other hand, if you wait a couple days, it shows her you're not clingly/desperate, but still shows you're interested. You can do this in a way that's still aloof and casual without seeming desperate.

In my experience, some women will tell me that I give mixed signals or that I didn't seem interested in them, and this doesn't always work so well in my favor (although as we know, what they say and what they really think aren't always the same thing).

At some point you have to ask if you're shooting yourself in the foot by doing these sort of things. What are your thoughts on this?

 

[Toddz]

Last 2 first dates I had, both women told me to text them when I got home, so I kindly obliged.

Usually though, I'll text the next day afternoon/evening after a first date "Hey, I had a really nice time meeting you last night and would like to see you again soon." Strike when the iron is hot and it doesn't waste any time wondering/gauging their interest level in you.

That's obviously only If I'm interested in seeing them again.

 

[Striker_93]

Yeah why not ?

It's never stopped me from getting any pvssy

 

[Striker_93]

There's no right or wrong, just do what you want and let chips fall where they may.

Don't know why this is such a hard concept for guys lol

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Even assuming what's in bold is correct, and it might be some of the time, judge by her actions.

IOW, what do women (the majority as not all women will respond the same) DO in response to your so-called mixed signals?

What do they do when you don't make contact for several days after having sex with them?

Do they continue wanting to date you and have sex with you?

Are they still responsive to you, taking initiative and showing signs they are into you and want to see you?

Or do they ignore you, drop you?

Actions, actions, actions, words mean jack shyt.

And this holds true for both men and women.

P.S. I'm a woman btw.

There have been a few women who stopped seeing me after a few dates because they claimed I seemed uninterested in them. Though in those cases it could very well have been for some other reason.

Don't know why this is such a hard concept for guys lol

I've always texted them back without sweating about it. But I had made a thread about a year ago about ****ing some cute girl who was clearly into me, and I text her back the next day saying I had a good time wand wanted to see her again, only for her to ghost me. And everyone in the thread got on my case and said I shouldn't have texted her back.

I've started trying the "don't text back" thing and so far none of them actually end up texting me back.

 

[Striker_93]

There have been a few women who stopped seeing me after a few date because they claimed I seemed disinterested in them. Though in that case it could very well have been for some other reason. In the past, some women would text me first, but historically I've only ever done that with women I didn't want to see again.


I've always texted them back without sweating about it. But I had made a thread about a year ago about ****ing some cute girl who was clearly into me, and I text her back the next day saying I had a good time wand wanted to see her again, only for her to ghost me. And everyone in the thread got on my case and said I shouldn't have texted her back.

I've started trying the "don't text back" thing and so far none of them actually end up texting me back.

So just because you had a occasional situation where texting them didn't work in your favor that means you shouldn't text them back? Lol, do you see how ridiculous that sounds?

And don't let some random guys on the internet who don't get pvssy dictate your decision making, your a grown man.

Girls like texting. So text them.

 

[Black Widow Void]

If you paid (and we usually do) then it’s her job to reach out later to say “I had a good evening” or at the least “thank you.”

if you receive neither, then you can expect her second impression to be even worse.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

So just because you had a occasional situation where texting them didn't work in your favor that means you shouldn't text them back? Lol, do you see how ridiculous that sounds?

And don't let some random guys on the internet who don't get pvssy dictate your decision making, your a grown man.

Girls like texting. So text them.

There was no other explanation for the last time it happened though. The girl was obsessed with me. Then just ghosts me after what I thought was a for sure thing. Who knows, maybe she had a BF or something...

I actually fought back and didn't listen to them, but then I figured what the hell and gave it a shot. Hence why I made this thread, because I do think it has some merit.

 

[Striker_93]

There was no other explanation for the last time it happened though. The girl was obsessed with me. Then just ghosts me after what I thought was a for sure thing. Who knows, maybe she had a BF or something...

I actually fought back and didn't listen to them, but then I figured what the hell and gave it a shot. Hence why I made this thread, because I do think it has some merit.

It's not like she immediately lost all attraction for you because you sent a text lol.
Again, do you see how ridiculous that sounds ?

 

[EyeBRollin]

Don’t fvcking text them. You guys gotta stop being so eager like teenagers.

Wait 5-9 days after the date then call. Remember, she has the ability to call or text you.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Don't know why this is such a hard concept for guys lol

Because not every guys is Fabio like you.... They don't get women's pusssies wet just by looking at them. They are having luck few and far between so they're trying to strategize to have more favorable odds.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I'm almost laughing out loud cause you are so right, who ever heard of that?

Girl tells her friends, I was soooo into him but he texted the next day and that killed it.

NOT gonna happen!

No, but it just kind of “burns out” in 2-3 more weeks.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Girls like texting. So text them.

Horrible advice.

Girls like texting their friends about why Chad / Tyrone haven’t texted or called yet after the date.

 

[DonJuanjr]

I've had better luck sparking interest when texting my fwb things like "what kind of panties are you wearing right now" vs. "how has your week been going".

 

[DonJuanjr]

A little bit of push/pull adds to, imo.

What does push/pull mean to you?

 

[SW15]

Don’t fvcking text them. You guys gotta stop being so eager like teenagers.

Wait 5-9 days after the date then call. Remember, she has the ability to call or text you.

Yes, this is the way to do it.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I don't disagree cause IF she's into you, she will either be thrilled you called after 5-9 days or reach out first.

However I really think it's best to not follow these sorts of 'rules' and do whatever the hell you want.

Make your own freakin rules.

Based on nothing but your feelings. How many women have you seduced as a man? How many have begged for your commitment?

If she has high interest and attracted, it won't matter what you do or don't do..

Interest level is not static. Too much of a good thing spoils it. Just because she likes you today doesn’t mean she will like you a week from now. Gotta keep her hungry. And while OP isn’t texting her to death like a 14 year old teenager lost in the desert, she will actually have a chance to use her imagination.

What she thinks doesn't matter anyway and when you stop trying to 'do the right thing' or to please women, you will become more successful.

Have that confidence!

Rules like this come off as rigid, calculated and contrived, imo.

Wrong. Women control who they sleep with. What she thinks does matter. You are setting these guys up for failure.

 

[EyeBRollin]

There should be a balance. Not too much, not too little.

A little bit of push/pull adds to, imo.

The balance is she has a phone too. She can use it.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Let her wonder a little bit sometimes.

Personally, I love wondering and missing. It increases my attraction or maintains it, at least.

Pay attention, gentleman.

Here @catsmeow admits she loves wondering about a guy because it increases her attraction.

Just a few posts ago she said not to advise men about “rules” such as waiting 5-9 days to contact after a date. Can’t make this up…

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If they are interested they will text you first.

Have never had a scenario where I didn't hear from a woman then texted her and she was interested in seeing me again.

Lack of texting from her should be taken as a lack of interest.